#alpha session

[modernchemical]

16 year old girl cursed with a perception of life's infinite expansion

[hadopelagian]

observations from my reread of act 6 bc im obsessed w the alpha kids

tavros ass mfer

crockertier foreshadowing-ish? idk devil imagery is BIG here for jane.

roxy being an alternian + being pale zoned (harkens to eridan (wizard troll to roxy’s wizard kid) and kanaya (matriorb connection + reproductive themes))

also janeroxy subtext lmao

crockercorp foreshadowing ?

also god i love dirk and jane

[nekropsii]

The forever-repeated sentiment that analyzing the Alpha Trolls or taking any level of the content of their character seriously is “stupid” or “a waste of time” due to them being “intended purely as jokes,” especially regarding various social media cultures at the time, double especially in reference to the- at the time- current Homestuck fandom climate is… Aggravating.

Yes, the Alpha Trolls ARE, on various levels, easy to brush off as “purely joke characters,” but you want to know what else was? The Beta Trolls. They functioned practically the same exact way upon their initial release- the ENTIRE concept of Trolls in Homestuck is literally just based on Internet Trolls! Back in the day, they, too, were received largely as jokes! And they kind of were! A big reason we take them so seriously now is due to their inevitable plot relevance and screentime.

My prevailing hypothesis is that one of the few main reasons the Alpha Troll cast is/was often brushed aside as pure, unanalyzable parody and nothing else is the reverse of why the Beta Troll cast eventually WAS taken seriously- screentime! And their… Lack thereof. We take Meenah decently seriously, just as we take Aranea decently seriously- and that’s because out of the Alpha Troll cast, they got the most screentime!

Due to the nature of them being short-stay characters, their nature as being partially based in satire had to be... Well, inflated. Do you remember the first interactions the Beta Troll cast had with the Beta Kids, and how they were… Very much so more blatantly just Internet Trolls? That’s what I believe is going on. Everything had to be pushed to the max, obnoxious behavior due to a millennia’s worth of brain rot being put pedal to the metal. They’re very straightforward characters when you look solely at their interactions with each other, no thought to any deeper psychology... Kankri Vantas, Seer of Blood, is an amazing example of this who I often see... With offense intended to nobody, largely mishandled.

Off the bat, it’s very easy to recognize exactly what he, as a character, is parodying, ESPECIALLY if you were on Tumblr during his relevance. He’s largely a satirization of the at the time overwhelming, severely misguided Discourse and Callout Culture permeating through the then-present Tumblr sphere. Not only that, but the commentary on it as a whole and what kind of people for the most part perpetuated said online political climate was very, very interesting and, shockingly, very, very true. Let’s get this out of the way- Kankri is most definitely intended as a White Tumblr Teen circa 2013.

Kankri Vantas is an honestly pretty good tongue-in-cheek satirization of old Tumblr “Social Justice” politics in the fact that it was perpetuated largely by (mostly) white, very online, sheltered teens with little to no actual life experience in the things they want to advocate for or against. The result of this often meant an echo chamber-like circle of kids of similar age and experience regurgitating the same topics, buzzwords, opinions, etc. over and over again. Due to the nature of being a teenager, there’s a persisting need to feel both special and like you belong to something- which is where Kankri’s ties to MOGAI and otherkin come in. (This is not an invitation to start discourse on the validity of either, I am simply stating facts about the character.)

But there’s a few very important thing one needs to note about Kankri- of which needs preemptive statements. Yes, he is a minority himself in the fact that he is a mutant limeblood. No, this absolutely does not stop him from being an abhorrent little shit when it comes to minorities. Which was ABSOLUTELY a huge problem in old Social Justice circles, and it still is today! We see him exhibit this type of behavior several times- he’s EXTREMELY preachy about supporting any and every type of minority, but then we see him CONSTANTLY talking over and bullying actual minorities, even down to policing the language they use to describe their own experiences!

He openly harasses a once-physically disabled man for using words he CAN, in fact, reclaim, which he used in reference to himself to talk about his own experiences, (Rufioh)

Harasses another disabled man by calling said literally disabled man ableist and saying he’s “perpetuating a harmful stereotype,” not for saying or doing anything harmful, but for wearing something which he needs to wear due to his disability AND his hobbies- said item being a helmet, and said hobby being skateboarding- all of which is done in a condescending fashion. (Mituna)

Not to mention he actively denied systemic misogyny exists to a woman’s face even when given a very intellectual explanation as to why it does, as well as slut-shaming her several times, once again to her face. (Porrim)

This guy fucking sucks! And on top of that, a fun thing to notice is that he’s a total bootlicker! Everyone he harasses are minorities, oftentimes in more ways than one- he’s bullied Meulin, who is a deaf, lowblood woman, Rufioh, a lowblood man (of color!) who was once quadriplegic, Mituna, a lowblood bipolar man with brain damage, and Porrim, a midblood woman with a shamelessly active sex life! But he’s all supportive and buddy-buddy with Cronus, highblood pseudo-royalty who also harasses/abuses people with minority status!

There’s so much that’s worthy of discussion, even just pertaining to Kankri’s character- and he by far is not my favorite! All of that character, all of that psychology, hidden JUST beneath the surface-level reading of “Kankri is a Tumblr parody.” THAT’S why the Alpha Trolls getting brushed off so quickly as topics of analysis is just so frustrating to me! There’s so much to consider, so much to notice, so much to analyze, and plenty of room to fill in the blanks left by canon!

And if no one else is going to do that level of analysis on them, then I will. That is a threat AND a promise. Sylph’s honor!

[techtakesoff]

first thing to do is to be meta. duh. talk about dirk strider please.

Of course. I've gotta talk about Dirk Strider, because I am Mod Dirk, after all.

Let's talk about our favorite Prince of Heart, Dirk Strider. My beloved.

From the moment Dirk is introduced in the story (on this page, introduced here), he’s seen as this ‘cool guy’. He tries his damn hardest to emulate Alpha Dave, his bro whom he never gets to know directly, due to the difference in time that they have. In the literal sense, Dirk tries to emulate the abilities and powers of a Knight (passive exploitation class) while being a Prince (active destroying class).

This does not really go well for him, and, mirroring Dave in the beta session, he tries to be the server player to his friends, and succeeds at this, albeit not as well as he could have.

As a Prince of Heart, Dirk ghosts Mind while destroying Heart. What this means is that he cuts down passion and emotion, often coming off as cold to the touch. He’s a dick without wanting to be one, essentially. He holds himself up to the most impossible standards, and often times hurts his friends accidentally by ‘destruction.’

He’s hurt his friends before, this is known, but it’s not always intentional. His relationship with Jake English in the comic, through contextual clues as well as analyses made by people long before I made this blog, Dirk gets very ‘up close and personal’ with Jake, which freaks him out, and makes him push Dirk away, even in Dirk’s time of need. This relationship dynamic is not entirely Dirk’s fault, because Jake isn’t perfect either. It could have been resolved, but it wasn’t.

Dirk is also consistently immersed in his splinters, he feels responsible for the actions of other versions of himself, even if they are just under different circumstances, like how he likely felt about Dave’s Bro.

His challenge in Homestuck, especially in The Game, is to not destroy himself along his path, which he doesn’t quite succeed at, but doesn’t fail, either. After learning that his friends died in the pre-retcon timeline, Dirk willingly gives up, and is presumably dead by the time John goes back to fix the timeline. Which brings me to another point, is the singular line that Dirk says, upon being prompted, “I failed.” (1 | 2) I could go on for about an hour about this, but I honestly suggest you go over to this post about Dirk and NPD, which explains it a lot better than I can.

So, Dirk Strider. A heavily layered character with many, many splinters, and a three-dimensional hell of a personality. Hope I did him justice.

[alphiestuck]

You Think I Know Shit? I Don’t

Angela is the name, bitch.

Credit to Angela! Love you Feri!

[felismiscellaneous]

it is my own personal headcanon that john crocker died via a piano falling on him. its what he wouldve wanted

[percimelgoesoriginal]

Jane and Roxy Homestuck Act 6 act 2 uwu

[nightlight-stardust-and-rain]

So I had an idea for a fanfiction ?

Here's the basis of the thing : Dirk raised by Karkat. But like, not in humanstuck and not really in a AU but it's an au....?

So, the beginning : Karkat and Kanaya, just before the beginning of their session (and by just before I mean like two days before or something) are sent(send?) to the Alpha session (universe...? Honestly I didn't thought about the how, but let's say it's because of Doc Scratch) with a message that says "when this universe's sburb session begin, you'll "die". It's the only way to come back to your universe the same moment you left it. If you die before the beginning of the session, you'll not come back. You will arrive decades before said beginning. Enjoy !" (or something alike).

They land (?) on Alpha Dave's and Alpha Rose's home (obviously) because I headcanon that in their teens Alpha Rose and Alpha Dave (I'll say Rose and Dave), before becoming celebrities, lived together (bc they're best friends/siblings, fight me) and also because I want Karkat and Kanaya to be in the same house because here they are moirails (Kan<>Kar is life) and I don't want them to be separated.

So there's the usual shenanigans Aliens meet Humans and Aliens meet Earth (they're so fucking hilarious. Cultural shock is the best) also if we go very very slow burn let's say they can't talk/understand english and if we go just slow burn let's say they can. Past the Aliens meet Humans shock, they become friends (also I love Karkat being friends with Rose and Kanaya being friends with Dave ? Kind of "my moirail is interested in you so I'll see If you're nice" but also genuine friendship ?) and Dave and Rose help them to hide from the humans because well they're aliens you know.

So they spend like ten years to hide, train (they have a lifetime to become stronger for when they come home after all) and falling in love with their humans friends (bc I'm Davekat and Rosemary trash) and kinda enjoying a life without drones or the condesce (sure they have to hide but karkat is pretty used to it and Kanaya is okay with it). Dave and rose are, too, falling in love with their aliens friends, training with them (bc why not) and becoming celebrities you know. Also I want them to have to adapt to the quadrant thing bc theirs lovers (I don't want to write boyfriend/girlfriend every time so I'll go with lovers) are moirails and yeah, it's romance, they're dating even if it's not "romance" by humans standards (I LOVE moirallegiance being recognized as just as important as human romance. Also I really want a scene were the trolls are explaining quadrants to the humans and they say they are moirails so that means they're dating and Dave and Rose are like oh so that's platonic love and here A KARKAT TANTRUM because HOW DARE YOU SAY I DON'T ROMANTICALLY LOVE MY MOIRAIL and Kanaya is politely upset too because No It Is Romantic Love, Pale Love Is Still Romantic Love and the humans have to understand that yes they are dating and will not put one relationship above another) also I think that Karkat would have the time to work on his issues with quadrants and blood ? Quadrants because humans don't do quadrants and well, Dave doesn't and he had years to work on this so... And the blood thing well humans have his blood color after all so here he's technically not a mutant (still an alien, but you see) and I know that's not that simple but after years living without the alternia racism (?) about blood color it would be... Easier. Like he still would freak out if he bleeds but less. Also less self-loathing he deserves it.

So yeah, after like 10 or more years like this (10 years of fluff please they deserve it and some cute scenes like they're all watching TV all cuddling together and the paparazzis are like are Rose Lalonde and Dave Strider dating ??? And they just look at each other and burst out laughing bc no dude they're dating aliens. Scenes like this you know) they still are here obviously but then THE FUCKING CONDESCE. They have a HUGE panic attack about it and they're freaking out so hard bc they know that their lovers will fight for their freedom (of course). After the panic attack they realise that they can't fight with Dave and Rose. Because, they have to stay alive, to die at the beginning of the session, to come back home. They know they have to come back home because without them their session is doomed (Kanata being the Space Player and Karkat being the leader and knight (for the thing with the frogs) also they don't know that yet bc they don't even know what classpects are they didn't even enter the game but they have a feeling that they're essentials to their session?) and if they fight the Condesce well she will notice that there are trolls fighting against her and she will kill them. It's really fucking frustrating. Like really. They train harder together but they know that they can do absolutely nothing, it's awful. They also know that Dave and Rose will die. Because their lovers can be really strong and they know they can do great things, but they can't WIN. it's the CONDESCE. So they try to enjoy every moment with Rose and Dave (same for the humans, because Dave and Rose kinda also know they will die).

When Dave's and Rose's death happens they're fucking destroyed but they have each other you know, at least they're not alone. Then, they find Dirk and Roxy (OK I know that chronologically Dirk and Roxy were like... Decades later. Well here they are not.). They're small, defenseless and they're ectobiologically theirs dead lover's childs. All this time on this universe they wondered why they were here, what was their purpose. They couldn't be here just to live then die. But then, they knew that their purpose here was to raise two of the future players who will begin the session that will allow them to come back home. But they're also childs. Who will suffer, who will fight, who, maybe, will die playing the game. That's how they become parents (and that's where this whole thing come from, because honestly, Karkat would be a AMAZING FATHER and Kanaya would be wonderful mother). Idk how they survive the apocalypse thing (I don't remember much about the Alpha session) but they end up in, like, Dirk's house but bigger since they're four. Dirk and Roxy grow up with two trolls as parents, and it's fantastic (I just want Dirk and Roxy to have a good childhood since the Canon one is less than wonderful).

More details because I love details. Dirk and Roxy are raised as siblings but they know that it's complicated (bc ectobiology). They know that their parents are together but not-like-that (because excuse me but Karkat is their dad, obviously they know about quadrants) and they also know that they have another father/mother who died heroically a while ago because of course Karkat and Kanaya would tell them stories about Dave and Rose.

Like I want a scene where Karkat rants about Dave like god he was so stupid with his fucking irony and these awful shades I loved him so much to a fascinated six years old Dirk.

Like also they know that Dave is Dirk's other father but not Roxy's and Rose is Roxy's other mother but not Dirk's yeah I know I don't make sense. So that change many little things (I don't really want to change big things since I don't really want to write how that affects Canon) like, Roxy doesn't have a alcohol problem because Karkat and Kanaya Will Not Let Their Daughter Drink, No Miss. Because they saw alcohol's effects on Rose so they get rid of it asap. So idk, maybe she drinks soda and the typos are because she's sugar high ?

Dirk, being raised by the most emotional troll on the universe (and Kanaya, who's pretty open about her feelings. Basically his parents are not afraid to show love to their moirail and/or childrens) is less an emotional disaster (but he's still a Disaster™ because he's a Strider and all Striders are Disasters™). Like they have a happy childhood okay ????

Karkat and Kanaya would like to tell them things about the game but they know nothing about it since they didn't even entered their own session (FUCK I forgot they didn't knew about the game before entering it FUCK hm let's ignore it it's already canon divergent anyways. Let's say they knew about it before)

So they kinda train Dirk and Roxy but not like Bro did. It's more exercises every afternoon, some martial arts (excuse me they had 10 years on earth with nothing to do of course they learned martial art) and training with weapons every Tuesday or something ? Like Karkat can teach Dirk sword fight because he picked some things from Dave and also sickles are more or less close to sword so... Kanaya and Karkat can't really train Roxy about sniper things since neither of them know how to use a gun but they teach her close-range combat and martial arts and let her train to her sniper thing because they trust her. The training is like half training half bonding moment you know.

Also I ship Dirk<>Jane and Roxy<>Jake. Or rather, it's not exactly that i ship it (I don't like Jake and I'm pretty neutral about Jane) but I think they would be good for each other. Dirk and Jane could be a amazing team if they weren't fighting about Jake ! And I think Roxy's optimism and enthusiasm could be good for Jake, I think. That's all.

So yeah the Strilondes (oh the names are complicated because for a period when they were like ten Roxy and Dirk wanted to have their parent's names so they alternated between Roxy Maryam, Dirk Vantas, Roxy Vantas, Dirk Maryam and Roxy and Dirk Maryam-Vantas. It was fun, They both liked Maryam-Vantas and personally Roxy was more fond of Roxy Maryam (it sounds distinguished, mom !!) while Dirk preferred Dirk Vantas (but dad, it's like an anime's protagonist's name !) and after a Talk they agreed to stay with Strider/Lalonde but they still like to bring it up sometimes like "we're the Motherfucking Lalonde-Strider-Vantas-Maryam, we can do ANYTHING". Or like Dirk did something and Roxy is "Dirk Vantas..." with the menacing tone and He Knows He's Fucked (also they swear more because well they were raised by Karkat Motherfucking Vantas after all) also that would lead to funny shenanigans like Jake and Jane wondering what the fuck is their actual name like 70% of the time they stay with Strider/Lalonde but when Roxy's too worried about something Dirk is like "calm down Maryam" and sometimes they use the four names ?? What ?? Little funny things, you know.)

so I was saying, Dirk and Roxy grew up with stories about Love, Love between Karkat and Dave, between Kanaya and Rose, between Karkat and Kanaya. The kids can see how much their parents love each other, how much they still love their dead lovers, and they're both afraid of never find such love but also afraid of finding it but losing it like their parents. But Dirk and Roxy know they will always have each other so... It's okay.

And then... *tantantaaan*... The Game. When they hear of it it's kinda panic/excitation because well they will come home but they have to die and leave dirk and roxy. And of course Roxy and Dirk are freaking out too, because they know they have to play the game but also their parents will die (because of course Kanaya and Karkat told them about it) but not die ?

They will just come back home and they won't see them ever again so angst. Lots of hugs and feelings before they finally do it. The second they begin the game Karkat and Kanaya die. Just like that. A cardiac attack. No suffering so there's at least that but still angst bc well they lost their parents, they're fucking sad. Also I didn't talked enough about Roxy's and Dirk's relationship but they are siblings OK ? Like I love siblings relationships that's all.

Their session is kinda like canon (bc honestly I want to diverge canon at a precise point and it's not the beginning of the game) but like, less relationship dramas ? Idk bc Dirk and Roxy are like... More functional than Canon since Roxy doesn't drink and didn't grew up alone and same for Dirk, they're more emotionally stable, you know. So they're like, a better group ? They work better together ? But there's still some drama of course. Also there's no Hal I guess? Dirk created him because he was alone, didn't he? Well here he was not so... I like Hal but there would be no reason for Dirk to make him? (also little fluff thing : When Dirk and Roxy are like, very serious or very emotional or very sincere they'll use their parent's quirks. Surprisingly, it's not Dirk who uses Karkat's quirk, it's Roxy. Dirk uses Kanaya's. I think that suit them well :) also want to see Roxy type "I LOVE YOU" and Dirk type "I Love You" because I'm emotional like that)

So, on the troll side. Karkat and Kanaya wake up in their young bodies, at the exact same moment they left their universe. There's some body dysphoria of course because they were adults and BAM they're kids again that's so weird. Also their fighting skills are GONE like they know what to do but their body is weak (like, Kanaya was already pretty strong before the game but it's nothing compared to her adult self and Karkat was like... Really weak before the game and not really better during the game but he had years to train in the Alpha universe so he was a lot stronger you know) and they train together as much as they can before the game but they have like two days so... Yeah. Also they kinda have to hide to their friends how much they changed ?

Like Kanaya didn't change much but karkat, wow. He resolved his quadrant problem and is like, a bit better with his blood color, he still won't tell anyone but there's less self-hate. Like, they both grew up. They were parents. They're not kids anymore. They also have to re-read all their old trollian journals because there's some things they forgot about their friends (they haven't seen them for many years obviously they forgot some things) and it changes many things with their relationships with their friends.

Like, Karkat isn't attracted to Terezi anymore. Even if they turned the page about Rose and Dave (they had years to grieve, and even if they will love Dave and Rose forever, they know that one day they could love someone else. You know, no guilt ? Because at first the idea of loving someone else must have looked like a betrayal to their dead lovers but now they know that it would be okay ? That they can be happy without guilt ?) Karkat is just not attracted to her anymore. It's confusing for Terezi, because yesterday they were kinda flirting and now Karkat treat her like a friend (that she is, but she knew that there was more), like he treats everyone else.

He's still flirting with Sollux, tough (I love their Canon relationship, they're funny) even if they both don't know where it's going (honestly here is ship Karkat/Sollux and Karkat/Dave) but Karkat and Kanaya are also very happy to see all of their friends. They're really sad about Dirk and Roxy but they know that their kids are strong enough to win their game.

Of course, the trolls notice that they are not quite the same and ask questions : Karkat and Kanaya give them a bad explanation about a traumatizing event that made them change and they don't want to talk about it ok ? Everyone half-believes them but leave them alone.

So, the session begin. A bit less drama (bc Karkat is like 30% less an asshole and 22% more of a better leader) but only a bit because all trolls are Disasters. So, the meteor. Let's say everyone is God Tier (because I WANT Karkat and Kanaya to be God Tier and also Nepeta's and Sollux's powers seems very interesting but we know nothing about it).

Eridan and Gamzee didn't go all murderous (because I love them and let's say that Eridan and Feferi are in a good moiraillegiance so Eridan is stable, also he didn't attack Sollux bc in this one Sollux's and Feferi are not together because I ship him with Karkat and Gamzee didn't go crazy he's still a bit murderous but not towards his friends). So Karkat and Sollux are dating and nobody knows if they're black or red, not even them. Then *drum roll* the humans. Kanaya and Karkat are kinda freaking out about it. Karkat decides to avoid Dave because that's how he is. Kanaya, being Rose's patron troll, can't avoid her. She gets to know this Rose, to understand that she is not like her Rose, and to fall for her.

Also Karkat is nicer with Jade because he met Grandma English in the Alpha universe and she was a) Very nice and b) very powerful, not to mess with. So if this Jade is like her, well he can like her. They become good friends (they would make a good team I think. It's one of my brotps).

After a while Kanaya convinces him to talk to Dave. He tries and honestly he's even more an asshole than Canon because he's trying to not fall in love with Dave. He fails, of course. He knows that Dave isn't his dead lover, and yet (or because of that ?) he falls for him. He has a discussion with Sollux about it. He tells him that he loves Dave in all quadrants, like humans do. He tells that he also love Sollux in all quadrants but he didn't tell him because he was afraid of his reaction. Sollux teases him bc kk has just too much love for just one quadrant or just one person but he accepts him you know ? Karkat, relieved, also tells him about their (kanaya and him) lifetime in the Alpha universe. Sollux is a bit socked because wow kk, that's why you and kn changed so much ? He takes some time to fully understand the thing but ends up questioning Karkat about everything (you had kids ? You ? YEAH AND THEY ARE GREAT, FUCK YOU BEEFUCKER) and like... He's a good boyfriend you know (I love Solkat so much you have no idea. So much love and so much teasing.)

Meanwhile, the humans have NO IDEA about this clusterfuck. They know that the nice troll lady who's trolling Rose is kinda dating this shouty troll who's trolling Jade and who's an asshole but is friendly with Jade and Rose (I love Karkat and Rose friendship, remember ?) and that's all.

So, the meteor. When the humans arrive on the meteor, it's strange for Karkat and Kanaya because wow they look just like alpha Dave and alpha Rose (obviously but it's still shocking). Kanaya and Rose are like *flirt* and Karkat and Dave are... Awkward. Essentially because Dave doesn't really know Karkat and Karkat is already in love with Dave. Like, Dave knows that this troll is an asshole but in person he's like super cute and sweet ? What ? (also he's still in denial about being gay/bi) and Karkat is like *light panic*. Also Sollux is dying of laughter because of the awkwardness. Kanaya, while comforting her moirail, is also slightly amused.

Also I think Dave would take like six month to understand that Sollux and Karkat are dating ? Because their version of PDA is blackflirting and agressive affection like Karkat angrily hugging Sollux because they're only sweet when they're alone. So yeah after like six months Dave just walks on Karkat and Sollux making out in the kitchen and he's like YOU'RE DATING ??? WHAT ??? (With the Strider Pokerface and a lot of sexual puns to hide his surprise of course) and Karkat and Sollux are like "... Yeah ? We aren't... Hiding it ?" lots of confusion from both sides until everyone else walks in the kitchen. Eridan sees Karkat and Sollux still close and sighs "were you making out in the kitchen ? Again ?" and Kanaya give her moirail a amused look because seriously Karkat again ? And there's like five trolls that are complaining about it until Dave realizes that yeah, everyone knew and he's "wait you two are really dating ? Since when ?". Of course it's Nepeta who answers because she kept a trace of the date something like four perigees... And then everyone realizes that Dave didn't knew and there's again a lot of confusion (because "Dave they kept flirting in public and hugging and all. How did you not notice." "what they were flirting. When.") and a lot of laughter because they're really not discreet how did you not notice.

After that Dave notices some things. Like how Karkat and Sollux give each other a kiss before arguing about the coffee every morning. How sometimes when Karkat throws a tantrum Sollux looks at him with a discrete loving expression. How they just love each other (Solkat fluff is my drug okay). How they tease each other (so fucking much, "seriously guys that's not flirting that's teasing" "yes Dave that's flirting"), how they have visibly no problem with being two boys dating (even if Alternia doesn't even know what is homosexuality even less homophobia) and he's kinda... Jealous.

Because they show emotions so easily (especially Karkat, who, fight me, angrily hugs all of his friends (except Equius because he's very sweaty and Vriska because she doesn't want hugs and he doesn't want to hug her) and is not ashamed to randomly kiss Kanaya or Sollux) they show love (even it's in a weird way : they're always teasing each other) and they don't have to worry about internalized homophobia or PTSD (that's what Dave thinks but he's wrong. Karkat is still struggling with his blood color thing and him and Sollux are both traumatized : Karkat because of, frankly, almost his whole life to hide on alternia + his lifetime in the Alpha universe where his lover and his moirail's lover (who was also a very good friend) died and where he watched the whole planet being kinda destroyed by the condesce and where he had to abandon the kids he raised and loved and also you didn't forget that to be god tier you have to die so watch all of his friends die was a bit too much. And Sollux is traumatized because the voices and also he heard all of his friends die that was not a funny time (especially with Karkat and Aradia (they're not moirails anymore but they're still very good friends)) + mood swings. Yeah they're kinda messed up but they're slowly recovering).

So yeah Dave is jealous. But not of them personally, more of their relationship, that, despite being sometime kinda violent (even with the all quadrants thing sometimes they're more black you know) is not even a bit toxic. Then I after some time it's... More personal. He realizes he's jealous of Sollux. Because Karkat. Yeah because after like a year living with the trolls and watching Karkat aggressively caring for all of his friends like a angry mother hen and aggressively loving Sollux and Kanaya so passionately (because Karkat's love is nothing but passionate) he sees that yeah this troll is really a softie. And at first he thinks that he wants someone to love like that and to love him like that but after some moments with Rose he realizes (I'm using this word way too much) that he doesn't want a random someone, nope mister, you're in love with THIS troll in particular.

He goes full denial for like four months before Sollux almost psionic blasts him because he's making Karkat sad (because of course he's been avoiding Karkat). So after dodging the psionic blast ("dude calm down don't eye laser me") they talk about it. Dave (still in denial) as usual, talks way too much and keeps diverging from the subject. Sollux, used to Karkat's tantrums, understands (after 30 min of insufferable and barely understandable metaphors) that yes, Dave is in love with Karkat and yes, that's why he avoids him. He thinks about it while Dave is ranting about stairs (??) and come to the conclusion that his boyfriend and Dave are both absolute morons. Because they are. He's kinda tired of Karkat's whining (this tsundere won't admit that he doesn't like to see karkat sad) so he just grabs Dave, leads him to Karkat's room (with Karkat inside) and block the door until they Talk about it. Morons.

So yeah, DaveKat is Canon (honestly I don't want to write all the emotional talk leave me alone). Honestly passed the awkward period, it's funny because Sollux and Dave are sometimes very slightly jealous of each other (and like very sometimes and very slightly because I want their relationships to be healthy) so they're like teasing each other a lot (to the point where some trolls think they are blackflirting but no, that's just teasing. Sorry I don't ship Soldave) and they're happy you know (also Kanaya and Rose are dating I didn't said it because honestly it was obvious for me).

And here's the scene that I imagined first when the idea "Dirk raised by Karkat" came.

So you know this moment in the dream bubbles where Roxy meet Rose for the first time (it was cute). Well, let's say Dirk is here (honestly I don't remember much about this part of Homestuck so maybe Dirk was here and I don't remember).

OK so Dirk and Roxy are in the dream bubble but here's my Canon divergence : they meet the meteor. After all I previously wrote, of course. And when Roxy sees Karkat and Kanaya she's "!!!!!!!" ready to hug them but Dirks stops her because "Roxy, they're not our parents. We talked about parallels universes. They're just other versions of them, they don't know us" (with the Strider pokerface of course because he's actually just as moved as Roxy) and then Karkat yells something like "DIRK STRIDER YOU LET GO OF YOUR SISTER AND YOU COME HERE RIGHT THE FUCK NOW" and Dirk... Does, of course.

So FAMILY HUG ("Oh my god Dad you're so small" "SHUT UP YOU INSUFFERABLE DOUCHE. I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU STILL HAVE THOSE STUPID SHADES, I SWEAR THEY LOOK DUMBER EVERY TIME I SEE THEM" "What Karkat Means Is That We Love You And That We Missed You Too" "omg mom Dirks right ur so tinyy*yyy well not you mom but dad is so smol" (sorry but I don't know how to do roxy's typos)) confusion from all the trolls and humans (except Sollux, who knows who Roxy and Dirk are) because "why are two humans who look a lot like Dave and Rose hugging you and how do you know them" and "why are you hugging a smaller version of my Mom/Bro and how do you know them".

So I guess that Karkat and Kanaya have a lot to explain but honestly I didn't think further I just wanted a family hug (and I want Roxy and Dirk to meet all the trolls. Like "Jesus dad you have TWO boyfriends ? Omg one of them is the yellow troll from your stories !! I KNEW you had a crush on him ! SHUT UP ROXY AND SOLLUX DON'T LISTEN TO HER. No kk let her talk iit'2 very iintere2tiing two hear. 2o you had a cru2h on me even before the game ? I SAID DON'T LISTEN TO HER !! Yes you have no idea how much he talked about you like he talked about all his troll friends but I knew he loved you *wonk*. Awww kk, that'2 2weet. SHUT UP.)

So yeah I really didn't think of more because honestly at first it was just "Dirk raised by Karkat" then it became "but then Roxy will be the only one with a sad childhood ! I REFUSE. She will be raised by Kanaya. But since i ship kan<>Kar... Could they be raised together ?" then it kinda escalated.

Hope you like it because I sure do.

(also tell me where the misspellings and other errors are because I know there are errors but I don't have a corrector)