Apr 24, 2024
great news for tmb&ba fans!! everyone who has accidentally seen snippets of the latest chapter seems very upset with me :) i think y'all are gonna like this one
seen from Uzbekistan
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great news for tmb&ba fans!! everyone who has accidentally seen snippets of the latest chapter seems very upset with me :) i think y'all are gonna like this one
Either 15 or 19 for the angsty writing prompts plz 🥺
15. “This wouldn’t even be a problem, if you wouldn’t make one out of it.”
This is the dumbest fight they’ve ever had. Colson is convinced. They’ve had a lot of dumb, petty arguments, from blow outs over left out cereal bowls to Em sleeping in one of the guest bedrooms for a week because they couldn’t agree on which RUN-DMC album was the best. Colson maintains that it’s their self titled album, but since he hates sleeping without Em, he keeps his mouth shut as his boyfriend praises Raising Hell. So yes, they’ve had some dumb fucking fights, but this takes the cake.
And it started with Spongebob. The two of them had been cuddling together on the couch and trying to find something to watch when a Spongebob Squarepants rerun came up on the screen.
“This was my shit as a kid.” Colson grinned.
At the same time, Em said, “I used to put this on all the time when Hailie was a kid.”
Colson didn’t think much of it, just nodded and laughed, but Em froze right away. The children’s show played in the background as Em sat still as a statue.
“What?” Colson finally turned and looked at Em after a full minute of silence.
“You’re so fucking young.”
“Hell yeah, old man, thirty, flirty, and thriving or whatever Jennifer Garner said in that one movie.” He expected Em to laugh, or even just to crack a stupid smile and get back to picking a movie or TV show, but he was just met with Em’s thinking face and a sort of brutal cold shoulder.
“You’re thirty.” Em said after a moment of silence. His lip curled when he spoke, like it was the first time he’s said it, and the number was bitter on his tongue.
“Yeah...” He didn’t understand what Em was getting worked up about. It’s not like he didn’t know how old he was when they got together. He knows for a fact Em had googled him before. When he’d stolen Em’s phone once and looked up his own name, the link to his Wikipedia page was purple. Obviously he’d seen it.
Hell, they’d even celebrated both of their birthdays with each other last year. Em had lit the three and zero candles up himself.
“I don’t think... How did I... You’re almost twenty years younger than me.”
“Yeah,” He cocked his head to the side, confused, “That’s kind of how numbers work.”
“We shouldn’t be together.” Colson hadn’t expected any part of their conversation, but when Em said that, his neck snapped to look at Em head on.
“You can’t be fucking serious right now.” But Em was, and that was just the beginning. Now, they’re fighting about whether or not to break up, because Em found out he watched fucking Spongebob.
“If Alaina was with a dude that was forty five...” Em starts and stops, too disgusted to finish.
“She’s not.”
“But if she was, I’d be doing everything in my power to stop that shit. It’s gross.”
He rolls his eyes, “Lucky for you I don’t have an overprotective uncle-dad that needs to deal with his own relationship with a younger dude instead of fixating on my fictional one.”
Em narrows his eyes at Colson, a warning about crossing some invisible line he’s drawn, Colson looks back at him pointedly, and rolls his eyes again. This is so unbelievably stupid.
“I don’t understand how you don’t see how weird this is. When you were born I was a legal adult. Kim and I had Hailie before you were in school. You were in the fucking fourth grade or some shit when the Marshal Mathers LP came out-”
“Yeah and at twenty nine you had three albums that had blew, whatever. Look, I fucking get it, you’re old. I knew that when I slept over the first time and saw your beard dye in the bathroom. Get over it, I did.” He grins while quoting Em’s own song back to him. He had to cut him off, Em is fighting with him over nothing.
They’re still sitting on the couch together, but instead of cuddling they sit facing each other. Em’s leg is bouncing so wildly, he wants to reach over and put a hand on it to calm him but he’s not sure how well that would go over since Em is in the middle of trying to convince him they shouldn't be together. Not that he plans on letting himself be convinced of anything.
“I’m serious. You being as young as you are is a big fucking problem. I don’t know how I ignored it for as long as I did, but I can’t keep ignoring it. It’s freaking me out.”
Annoyed both at their cyclical conversation, and by Em’s obsession with calling him young like he hasn’t lived three full decades, Colson snaps, “This wouldn’t even be a problem, if you wouldn’t make one out of it. I’m thirty, you’re like a hundred, it’s not a big deal.”
“You’d be more age appropriate for Lainey or Hailie, yeah it’s a big fucking deal.”
“Oh, so now you’d be okay if I went for Hailie?” Colson jokes to ease the tension, nudging his shoulder into Em’s but the older man doesn’t find it funny.
“Don’t even fucking joke about that.” Em flinches away from his nudge and all but jumps off the couch. Colson stifles a laugh. It’s been close to like nine years and Em still hates whenever the tweet is brought up. It used to be a sore spot for him too, but now Colson and Hailie are able to joke about it. Em never joins in. That’s probably part of the reason they’re having this argument right now.
“Em, really,” He grins easily, refusing to take this stupid ass argument seriouslu, “I’m fucking thirty. I got an eleven year old girl. We’re way past the point where our ages have anything to do with us fucking. It’s not like I’m a teenager, seventeen or eighteen and shit.”
“You act like you are.” Em quips, the barest hint of a smile gracing his lips.
“And you act like you’re eighty. Still love you, old man.”
Em’s smile grows. Kells gets up from the couch and ambles over to him. He wraps his arms around the back of Em’s neck and hugs him close. With only a few inches between them, Kells looks down at Em and grins.
“Plus, I’m like three feet taller than you, so we’re pretty much the same age.”
“That doesn’t make any fucking sense.” Neither do they, not really, still, Kells wouldn’t have it any other way. The way Em is looking up at him, he knows he feels the same.
Where can I find this Dimileth fic that involves Dimitri face-down in the mud?
it's on ao3! godspeed, by quags1re
500th Post!!
Tony: Alright, who broke the coffee maker? The Avengers: … Tony: I’m not mad. I just want to know. The Avengers: … Peter: I did! I broke it-- Tony: No. No, you didn’t. Natasha? Thor: Don’t look at me. Look at Clint. Clint: What? I didn’t break it! Thor: Huh. That’s weird. How did you know it was broken? Clint: ...because it’s sitting right in front of us? And because Tony asked us who broke the coffee maker?? Thor: Hmm. Suspicious. Clint: No it’s not! Bruce: If it matters, but probably not, Natasha was the last one to use it. Nat: What? Liar! I don’t drink that crappy coffee. Bruce: Oh really? Then what were you doing by the coffee cart earlier? Nat: I use the wooden stirs to push back my cuticles! Everyone knows that, Bruce! Peter: Okay okay! Let’s not fight. I broke it, let me pay for it, Mr. Stark. Tony: No! Who broke it? The Avengers: … Clint: You know, Tony, Steve’s been awfully quiet… Steve: *raises arms in exasperation* REALLY?! The Avengers: *all start arguing* Tony: *pulls Peter aside* Alright, so I broke it. I burnt my hand, so I punched it. Peter: *eyes widen* Tony: *smirks* Peter: *giggles*
hmmmmmmm i need a new queue tag
lol, old people
my mom has a habit of avoiding gay relationships, in the sense that she won’t call a gay person’s partner their partner because it makes her feel weird i guess?
so she did it to my friend a couple times, and i corrected her, fast forward to today (at the grocery store), she blew up at me telling me to stop and that i was actually the one disrespecting her, and how she wouldn’t even call her sister’s partner her partner, so why should she do that for someone else?
because, in her mind, since she loves her sister dearly she can’t possibly be disrespectful toward her
i tried to tell her different people are okay with different things (in an attempt to diffuse, nevermind that it is technically disrespectful to ignore your own sister’s relationship even if she’s personally okay with it :I )
i tried to tell her i wasn’t trying to police her, just point out impoliteness to her the same way she points out when my dad is being impolite (this, obviously, went nowhere)
she told me to drop the subject, then told me she never corrected her mother for being racist (because obviously what she did as a teenager is what i should be doing as an adult), then told me more that i was disrespecting her for insinuating she was disrespecting her sister
and i told her she cared more about how it made her feel than how it made others feel, and she all but abandoned me at the grocery store
and then berated me the entire way home, telling me that my generation was full of selfish, high-horse snobs and that we could all go fuck ourselves because her generation has made “leaps and bounds” whereas ours have no compassion for anyone but ourselves
like, k
guilty as charged
i’m selfish as fuck and i love my generation and i have no sympathy for the early nor the late-gen baby boomers, and no, i don’t think they’ve done enough just because they’ve stopped outwardly recoiling in disgust at the sight of a gay person
but really, i just want my salsa ingredients
LEL I NEED TO CATCH UP ON GINTAMA. "Believe in the dick of the own you believe in!"
I still haven’t watched it yet…….. its always on my dash and I want to watch it but I have so so much other crap to watch wow