The joke would be so much better if I actually drew them the same way, but oh well. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

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The joke would be so much better if I actually drew them the same way, but oh well. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
*slaps a battered old cookie tin you'd think has sewing stuff in it*
And here's all my ships where one or both of them are dead!
drawing my bois!!!
God, how I love Altair and Desmond. Someday I will write something about them.
Ooh! So I’m reading Catching Heat and Minerva says Desmond sees his home as being the place the first mentor resided and Ezio himself which got me thinking!
What if! Old Ezio gets into the library but as the doors are opening Minerva, Jupiter, whoever, makes a switch at the same time.
So I’m gonna scramble everything a bit and say that as Altaïr dies in his time and Desmond activates the Grand Temple in his, they both perfectly line up with Ezio getting into the library in his.
It’s a fucking long shot and doesn’t even technically work but I’m gonna say it worked anyway.
But they all line up and the Isu use it to pull Desmond and Altaïr to Ezio’s time, cause Altaïr and Ezio are within the same space and Desmond wants to be with the both of them anyway. Which means it’s easier to pull the two to that point of time than either of the other two’s point of time. (Also there’s more to live for in Ezio’s time rather than the other two’s)
So Altaïr sits down to die but suddenly he’s opening his eyes again, feeling something flowing through his veins and making him feel 30 years younger despite the age he can see in his hands.
Desmond’s stumbling forward and falling at his feet, gasping and shivering with aftershocks while his skin lights up with lines that look as if the eye itself carved its design on his skin.
And Ezio’s coming inside to find the two of them, confused as a mf cause how could anyone survive within the library this long?? How is that even possible?
Sooo, I've been writing on my AC Desmond centric canon rewrite time travel fix it fic, and I sooo badly just wanted to start posting at least some snippets here, because I just can't wait to share the fic. But it will take quite a bit still, before I'm done, and I refuse to post something that isn't finished.
Sooo, maybe I should just do that? IDK, I never really posted about my fics before they were up. Mostly because the only things I ever finished were oneshots written in a fugue state over a few days and not 90k+ multichapters that I've been working on for months now.
The basic premise is this:
Abstergo icorporated even more Isu bullshit into the Animus than in canon. So, it interacts strangely with people that had contact with PoEs and Desmond's eugenics-produced genes, and kind of works like a time machine. Which means Altair and Ezio (and Connor and his dad later) end up in Desmond's head. There's more to it, but that's the basics.
We start at the beginning of AC 2, so far I've written up to the start of Revelations, and the plan is to go until the end of AC3, or a little further, depending on what i want to include in the main fic. Let's not think about the multiple post-fic oneshots I already know I want to write, please.
It's gonna end up a Desmond/Altair/Ezio/Connor, but that takes a bit, both because Connor only shows up in AC3 and Des thinks for all of AC2 and Brotherhood that Altair and Ezio are just Bleeding effect caused hallucinations instead of, you know, the actual people.
Also, there's modern Assassin shenanigans, bonding, extremely sappy inner monologue, angst. All the good shit.
I'll probably post actual snippets of text some time soon, don't know when yet, but knowing me, it won't take long.
Snippets, in post-order, not in-fic chronological: 1 2 3 4
Permission to be horny you say, then how about minotaur Desmond (y'know cuz horns)
Anyway best place to drop him would be as a "guardian" of some PoE
Like we could have him at Altaïr's apple and save that group from the templars (and have monsterfucker Altaïr to circle around to what you really nave in that post)
But also I have the thought of him guarding the anti-earthquake machine (that I can never remember if it had a Canon name). Because imagine being Achilles, you send one of your men to a suspected location of a PoE and he comes back with a huge half bull man and like is he the PoE!?!?
Giving me permission to indulge in my monsterfucker Altaïr agenda will always be accepted whole heartedly XD
We can even make this a whole ‘Minotaur in the Labyrinth’ kind of situation where Altaïr gets thrown into an undiscovered area and the ground collapsed under him, causing him to fall deeper beneath the mount.
Malik managed to get the ‘treasure’ but their escape is blocked. He noticed how Altaïr had fallen and Kadar getting stabbed on the stomach took his choice away from him. He grabbed Kadar and they both fell into the hole, hoping that it was a better choice than trying to charge the enemy lines.
They fell into the waters and gets dragged into some underground waterway that ends with them meeting with Altaïr, swimming upward to the nearest source of light.
Which turned out to be a dimly lit (lines of glowing gold all around the walls and ceiling) central plaza of sort with what may or may not be a fountain-sized lake.
And that’s how Desmond finds them in this fucking labyrinth that he’d been stuck in for god knows how long.
He died as Desmond Miles then, the next thing he knows, he was now a Minotaur stuck in this labyrinth.
And now he has to talk these two wet most probably suffering from hypothermia Assassins from killing him so he can try and help Kadar.
It’s really a good thing that he could write Arabic and the ground of the labyrinth was soft sand.
(This can end up as either Monsterfucker Altaïr OR Monsterfucker Altaïr and Kadar with ambiguous situation Malik)
.
As for a Shay situation. I kinda like the idea that Shay tries to take the device and Desmond beats the crap out of him, half because Desmond is larger and stronger as a minotaur and half because he had the element of surprise.
And instead of killing Shay, he manages to talk to him by writing and showing the paper to Shay while Shay is in the ground, his entire body screaming in pain.
‘If you take that, the ground will split open and kill countless.’
And Shay can’t exactly agree to not take it because he was ordered to and also because he didn’t necessarily believe the minotaur so the minotaur just sighed and ordered Shay to take him to his mentor and he’ll explain it (Desmond doesn’t know it’s Achilles)
Cue the crew of Morrigan thinking Shay Cormac has brought the devil onto their ship, an awkward journey and…
Desmond realizing that Achilles during this time period is a stubborn jerk.
So Desmond stays in the homestead because he has the key to open the place where the device is kept and now he’s arguing with Achilles using papers.
When he realized that Achilles could just stop talking to him by not reading what he wrote, he goes and grab Shay to read out loud his writing.
Shay doesn’t know when he became the minotaur’s assistant but, really, he’s just worried if he doesn’t do this, Desmond and Achilles might start trading blows.