All the Doctors out of ten, part 4
Recently, there was a little Doctor Who convention in America, you may have heard about it. I did not attend - I am a busy person, and very poor. However, one night, as I slumbered, I felt my conscious self drift out of my corporeal form and set off over the Atlantic.
Astral projecting into a con is, for the most part, a lonely business. I couldn’t get any autographs - no human could see my ethereal self. Except Peter Capaldi. He looked me straight in the eye.
“Child”, he said, though I am demonstrably not, “you have not yet completed your definitive list of all the Doctors, including appendices”. I started to counter his point, to proclaim my business, and poorness, but I could already feel myself drifting away like so much wet cake. Peter didn’t care. “You have completed the meat of it”, he told me, “all that remains is the final touch”.
Mariocki-o-meter: 4/10 - bashful, dopey, happy doc.
Strengths: a professional worker, mind on the job.
Weaknesses: painfully shy, easily killed.
Mariocki-o-meter: 6/10 - a dashing, boiling pot o’ sex appeal, but is that the true Timelord way?
Strengths: charm, elegance, what a bod.
Weaknesses: poor work ethic, still easily killed.
Mariocki-o-meter: 8/10 - turns out yes, boiling pot o’ sex appeal is the Timelord way.
Strengths: brilliant! A bridge builder, burier of hatchets and fanner of slash flames.
Weaknesses: dare I say… Heteronormative?
Mariocki-o-meter: 5/10 - a more relatable AU of Professor Sinister, short lived but notable.
Strengths: straight talking, sensible pragmatist. Very charitable.
Weaknesses: both incredibly busy and seldom seen.
Mariocki-o-meter: 6/10 - the One that might have been.
Strengths: It’s David bloody Warner!
Weaknesses: let’s be honest, only included because David bloody Warner.
Mariocki-o-meter: 6/10 - use a telephone box to travel time and space? IT COUNTS.
Strengths: gnarly as all heck.
Weaknesses: it doesn’t really count…
Mariocki-o-meter: 3/10 - a fiction of a fiction.
Strengths: long running, popular, inspiring.
Weaknesses: a quantum spanner does not a Doctor make.
Mariocki-o-meter: 11/10 - through your dedication and fascination with a show that is, at its core, about being kind and true, you have made the world a brighter, better place.
Strengths: You can do anything! You are artists, writers, creators, critics, thinkers, editors, collectors, appreciators, impersonators, everything and more! You’ve found hobbies, jobs, lovers, families, friends, places, people, things and purposes! This show would be nothing without you, and it is everything because of you.
Weaknesses: the looms. But I’m not even going there.
So it ends. I knew this moment would come - it was prepared for. But what about you, gentle reader? How will you cope, now I have provided an entirely new canon that has instantly become compulsory? Perhaps, one day, I will have more to add. That’s the beauty of this phoenix show - forever changing, forever moving forwards. But until then, there must be no regrets, no tears, no anxieties. Just go forward in all your beliefs and prove to me that I am not mistaken in mine.
I mean, I’m not mistaken. This is canon now.
