Warnings: thoughts of suicide, lots of death, mentions of not taking care of yourself.
That I’ll die before I drink
Your body sat against the K.I.A. memorial in the field you used to train on. Your fingers slowly went up to trace the names of the newest shinobi added onto it, the debris from the carving still there as your fingers ran over the names you used to say with a smile. The names you were supposed to protect. The names of your teammates Rin and Obito.
You felt your eyes tear up as you stared off at the stumps in the field. You were added late onto Minato’s team, you were an orphan placed into the leaf village just in time giving Minato’s squad one extra member. A team of 5 members now just a team of 3.
Minato watched from the trees as you tried to keep everything in. He wondered if Kakashi was going to show up as well. The two of you went cold, protecting your hearts, he assumed.
Death was expected as a shinobi, but the four of you were so young, so strong, so full of hope; when you and Kakashi lost your two friends so quickly after the other, he saw that hope diminish in your eyes as you replaced it with anger, with hatred, with sorrow. He watched as you pushed Kakashi away, as Kakashi gladly let himself get pushed away, the two of you not being able to survive another heartbreak.
He watched as The Third Hokage held you back, your scream was heard around the world when Minato sacrificed himself for his son. The first time and last time you found yourself running to Kakashi. You collapsed in his arms and cried as he did his best to not let you see his tears. Rain started to pour as nature grieved with the two of you. Three team members are gone leaving behind two shattered shinobi in their place.
And they’d all be so disappointed ‘cause who am I if not exploited?
Not to your surprise, the Elders and Danzo used your deteriorating mental health as an asset to the Leaf. You were stoic and cold. Even to Kakashi, you changed after Minato’s death. You didn’t care about things anymore, you didn’t care about trying to save as many people as you could, you didn’t care about life- whether it was yours or someone else’s; you had the belief that we all die so when it happens it doesn't matter.
Danzo called you and Kakashi to the Anbu headquarters. He needed you to get rid of a village that was growing. It was a young one but it was a strong one too and its borders were slowly approaching the Leaf’s which meant, should they continue to live we could expect another war.
“You want us to annihilate them?” Kakashi was shocked, he knew the Leaf did a lot of things to protect the village but this felt like too much. The new village hasn’t even threatened the Leaf yet.
“You leave in three days.” Danzo responded. “Is this going to be a problem?”
“Don’t you think-”
“No.” you interrupted Kakashi, “how many are there?”
Kakashi looked at you wide-eyed. This wasn’t his former teammate. This wasn’t just you following orders. You were willing to do anything to protect the Leaf Village.
“Is Lord Third aware?” Kakashi asked, he was really pushing his limits. Anbu were just supposed to take the order and leave, no questions asked. You turned your head to look at him. Why was he questioning things?
“He doesn’t need to be.” Danzo replied as the two of you got up. The silence was deafening as the two of you walked up the stairs of the Anbu hideout.
“It’s Guy’s birthday today.” Kakashi broke the silence.
“I remember.”
“Are you going to come?”
“I’m watching the Village.”
“There’s people assigned for that.”
“They’re not me.”
“You’re coming.”
“And if the Village gets attacked? I would never forgive myself.”
“We’d all be close enough to fight back.”
“Kakashi.” you sighed as you looked up at him. His eyes weren’t as dark anymore, he actually still had a little life in it.
“Just this one time before this mission. No one has seen you in a while Y/N.”
If someone tells me one more time, “enjoy your youth,” I’m gonna cry
Everyone was surprised as you walked in with Kakashi. None of them have seen you without your Anbu mask on since Minato’s death. Your usual bright eyes were now dark, with dark circles under them making them appear even darker. Your old clothes used to be a vibrant shade of yellow, now it’s replaced with a black anbu turtleneck crop and black pants. They could barely recognize you.
“Y/N.” Kurenai whispered as she could see how dark you’ve become due to her abilities. Asuma looked over at her, worry in his eyes as he watched Kurenai’s eyes tear up.
“Y/N! The power of youth has returned!” He screamed as he picked you up hugging you. You remained with your hands on your sides as he placed you back down and returned to the party.
“Let’s enjoy our youth!”
Kakashi watched as you remained with your head watching the door. Even in a room of 10 other shinobi, you still felt like you had to be on watch.
Genma watched as the white-haired shinobi in front of him struggled to figure out what to do with you. Kakashi had Guy but you, your best friend was Rin and she was gone.
“She doesn’t have anyone,” Genma whispered as he sat next to Kakashi watching you.
“She has me.”
“Does she know that?”
I’m anxious and nothing can help
Kakashi stood up as he pat Genma on the shoulder. You jumped as Kakashi approached you. “Y/N, let’s take a walk.” he whispered, offering his hand.
You looked down at his hand, the one that has helped you out of so many battles. Your eyes continued to stare down at it as for the first time in years you felt tears escaping your eyes. You were painfully aware of all the sounds around you, of each shinobi’s voice. You could feel each tiny fabric of your shirt on your skin, how the bandage on your left thigh was tighter than the one on your right. You flinched as a glass shattered on the floor in the kitchen.
Your eyes looked up at Kakashi, tears flowing down from them. “Get me out of here” you whispered as you let out a silent cry as Kakashi grabbed you and the two of you left the party.
And I hate the way I’m perceived.
You were called to the Hokage’s office the next day. You wondered if Danzo told him about the mission you and Kakashi were about to go on. You wondered if Kakashi told him about the mission, he saw how weak you were last night. Crying like a baby in his arms over nothing. You thought it was pathetic. You hated the way Kakashi saw you last night, so weak so vulnerable.
“Y/n!” The Third Hokage beamed as he saw you, “my you’ve really grown up a lot haven’t you? I remember when you were just a kid your height was barely above my hip” The old man laughed as he reminisced about you.
You felt yourself grimace at the stories, at how young and happy you were, at how naive you were. “Lord Third, I’m sorry to interrupt but is there a reason I’m here?”
“Why, yes. Guy has asked me to pull Kakashi out of the Anbu black ops, he said he’s afraid it’s keeping Kakashi in a dark place.”
“The Anbu is a very dark place.” you agreed, “Kakashi has made a lot of progress but Guy is right. Kakashi would be a great village Jonin, maybe a sensei.”
“Yes, I’ve been thinking the same thing.”
“Was that all?”
“No.” The Third looked at you. He understood what the others meant when they told him that you were killing yourself, not literally but if you had to for a mission you would.
Your body served one purpose and that was missions. Your hair was dull, your skin lost its glow. You were not the 12 year old that came beaming into the village with life, with personality. “Kakashi has asked that if I take him out of Anbu, that I remove you as well.”
Your eyes slowly looked up at the Third Hokage, “you can’t do that. The Anbu needs me.” you whispered.
“The Anbu has a wide variety of capable shinobi, they will be fine.”
“The village needs me.” You felt your hand clench into a fist as you tried processing the information.
“The village will still have you, just as a Jonin outside of the Anbu.”
You thought about what he was saying. Shinobi were directed by the Hokage but selected Anbu members were directed by Danzo. You were directed by Danzo to annihilate a Village that would soon attack the Leaf. You knew the Hokage wouldn’t assign a Jonin to that mission, not until there was an absolute threat. You thought about your friends last night, about Kakashi, you couldn’t wait until there was a threat, until you lost another person.
“There’s just one more mission Lord Danzo has requested I go on.” you whispered, “you can remove Kakashi from Anbu today and I can go on it alone.”
“He doesn’t want to leave the Anbu black ops if you’re still there y/n.”
“I’ll leave after the mission. I promise.”
But I wish I could disappear
You silently made your way towards the wall of the new village that laid 100 miles away from Konoha. You placed paper bombs every 20 steps, just as you were just about to place the last bomb as someone grabbed your hand.
“Y/N do not go through with this.” Kakashi whispered, he was out of breath. His arm had a shaky grip on you. He must’ve just found out you took the mission.
“It’s for the village.”
“No it’s not. It’s for Danzo, don't listen to him!” he yelled in a whisper.
“You’re not supposed to be here.”
“Neither are you.”
“It’s just one last mission.”
Kakashi grabbed you and dragged you to the woods with him. Rain started to fall, raindrops hitting the leaves of the tree’s above you. “Your bombs won’t work now anyways.” Kakashi sighed as you struggled to fight him.
“They’re going to get stronger and attack the Leaf!” you yelled hitting him against his chest, tears rushing down your face. Kakashi took every punch you dealt, as tears fell from his eyes.
You continued to hit him, until you ran out of energy. Your hand changed from a fist into a flat hand as you put your head on his chest. “I don’t want to lose anyone else.” you cried out.
“I don’t either.” Kakashi whispered as he held you as rain continued to fall all around you. “But I feel like I’m losing you.” His throat started to hurt as he tried force back tears, “You’re so far in the dark, come back y/n. Get out of the shadows okay?”
You could faintly hear Kakashi’s voice as you drifted off into your stoic state again. “I can’t lose you Kakashi. I won’t.” you backed away from him and he watched as you snapped your hands and hundreds of paper bombs went off. “They’re infused with my blood, rain can’t wash it away.” you looked at him as you vanished.
If you can’t protect the village from within, you’ll have to from the shadows.
Monkey thoroughly explained his plan, and everyone except Kakashi agreed with it, he just shook his head signing he found it stupid and they’d regret it soon, as Itachi was not someone who they shouldn’t take seriously, and the bandits seem strong too, no wonder they’re working together with the Akatsuki...
Fox glanced angrily at the silver haired man, but didn’t want to make a scene, like before. She knew that Kakashi was still a leader, he had the most experience, hence, they should respect him and his decisions, but she also knew that he was irresponsible and careless when considering people’s lives and he just proved it. Monkey’s plan had some tiny mistakes, but if they work together, these mistakes could be avoided.
Rabbit didn’t like to be included in other people’s business, she usually stayed at the background, did what had been told, without remorse or guilt, after all, it was an order. But even she had to admit that sacrificing one’s life unnecessarily is dumb.
They were close to the bandits, if there was even one sensor, they must have noticed the group already. However they didn’t move an inch, and didn’t seem alert at all, even Itachi seemed a bit too careless. Kakashi’s mind was racing through so many reasons why were the bandits so calm, why didn’t itachi do something. Were they trying to deceive his group? Are they in a genjutsu? These questions were answered the second he realized they’re moving round and round. So it was truly a genjutsu! How stupid they could have been? He looked at the others with mad anger in his eyes, now they’re all going to die, because they didn’t listen to him! They’d also seemed to notice that something is not right, they signed ‘release’ but just as they did it, Itachi was right in front of them, stabbing Monkey with a sword, after he collapsed, he attacked Fox, but Kakashi dodged his attack.
-Monkey! –Fox shouted and jumped next to him, trying to heal his wounds.
- Go, save yourself.
- Stop joking around, it’s just a leg injury, I can heal this fast, don’t worry, Kakashi is as strong as Itachi, we’d be alright. –She tried to smile, but seeing the serious injury which resulted in blood loss, made her wince.
As for Rabbit, she was standing there, in shock, looking at her old friend fighting with Kakashi. How could he...? Then glanced at the injured Monkey and the kneeling Fox, who definitely needed help. What should she do now? It was all too surreal. She tried to shut her ears, but the sounds of clashing kunai, lightning, burning, the heavy breaths of Monkey, Fox’s very fast heartbeat...it all crushed her mind. Her nose was bleeding...she didn’t even notice it until she could taste it on her dry throat as the blood was flowing down. What should she do?
Y/n screamed... the sky was covered by storm clouds, and a lightning almost stroke Itachi. He didn’t realize the rabbit masked ANBU member was attacking him, but as he glanced at her, he was sure, she didn’t realize it either.. More and more lightning stroke, all so close to Itachi, yet, he could always escape the deadly flashes. Everyone else stopped moving, as they didn’t want to get close to the lightning, they seemed to notice that even though they came from Y/n, she was not able to control them at all.
Itachi disappeared using his crows, just before a lightning hit the point where he stood just a millisecond before. He could have killed them easily, but seeing the rabbit masked ANBU member, something hit him. Her stature was familiar, just like her voice. Itachi suspected that Y/n might have joined the ANBU as well, after all, they were trained to do this, but at first Y/n was hesitant about the idea of having that much responsibility, however it seems she got used to it by now. He was sure, the rabbit masked woman was her.
Itachi wanted to stop, wanted to ask how she was, how Sasuke was, he wanted to explain his reasons on why he was an Akatsuki member. But... life was never that easy.
Fox took her mask off, now she was just Yukina. Of course it was highly unprofessional, but her concentration on healing Monkey’s wound made her breathless.
-What was that?
Y/n, still dizzy and confused looked at Yukina, took her mask off as well, allowing the others to see her bloody face.
-What happened to you?
Another question. She tried to speak but no voice came out, she only mouthed a “I don’t know” and collapsed.
HEYYYY, YO, MY DUDE!!! I see you’ve risen from the dead 🙄
👀….
Uh anyways, two things.
I’d like to request prompt 5 from the list. Maybe smth in between angst and fluff. Like ya know, smth to make me feel depressed about how lonely I am ☺️ Preferably SFW, but that’s up to you. Anddddd, could you make it an extension to this post you made, thanks 🥰
Alsoo, I was wondering if and when you’re gonna continue Arranged Love. I liked the fic and hope you continue it some day. No pressure 👏
A/N: HEYYYY, Anon!
Okay, I think I should address Arranged Love first. I really want to continue it and have some ideas. But every time I try and get them typed out, my brain just short circuits 🤡. I’ll try my best and continue it as soon as I can. I look forward to writing it 💜
Prompt 5. “I’m going to take care of you, okay?”
Angst + Fluff (Udhwjkdke, a good deal of mostly angst)
SFW
Continuation of previous fic
Kakashi’s POV-ish
Unedited 🤡 (I’ll come back to edit it sooner or later)
She's finally back.
She’s finally home.
10 long years had passed since (l/n) (y/n), Ibara-hime of The Leaf, had been presumed dead.
10 years
120 months
521 weeks
3650 days
Kakashi had spent every one of those days in regret. He could’ve stopped her. But he didn’t. He could’ve reasoned with her. But he didn’t. He could’ve made up with her. But he didn’t. All because of the foolish and childish grudge he held. All because of his stupid, so called honor and dignity. Everyday, Kakashi felt the same emptiness around this. It was the voids that once we filled by the people he held closest to him. His father, Minato, Kushina, Obitio, Rin, (y/n). His memories had made him a walking graveyard.
But things took an odd twist on a day that normally would’ve been dreadful.
“Happy birthday, Hatake..."
Kakashi’s heart nearly leapt out of his chest when he felt (y/n)’s touch. Something he had yearned for so long. Yet all was not fair and well. Her body was in a dire state, damaged and injured; a deadly poison coursed through her veins. Angry scarlet bruises and scrapes riddled her skin. They were reminders of the arduous path (y/n) had traversed. “All will be well in due time. One must be patient,” Kakashi kept telling himself.
“Kakashi?” (y/n) mumbled, looking up at him from the stretcher he laid upon. Her eyes soften as she studied his worried eyes. “You need to go get some sleep. Go home and at least wash up. I can’t have you wasting all your time here with me” “‘Kakashi’” He was a man know by many names. Hatake Kakashi of the Sharingan, Ryōken, Cold-blooded Kakashi, Friend-killer Kakashi. Names of vile intent and names of great reverence, he had them all. None of them felt right. Not one, until now. He was simply Kakashi Hatake. A human just like anyone else.
“Kakashi, are you listening?”
Snapping out of his daze, Kakashi met (y/n)’s gaze. “Oh… Yeah, I’m sorry. You were saying?” A knot in his stomach formed when he noticed that the woman’s slight grimace of pain turn into a frown of disappointment. “Stop spacing out so much and worrying about me!” She scolded him, slapping his leg as he stood up from the bedside chair with the meager strength she had, “Go home and take care of yourself for once.” Kakashi weakly smiled a nodded. There was no doubt that his bones ached and his body was engulfed in stress, but that could be held off. He made it his job was to stay by (y/n)’s side every step of her recovery. After all, it was his fault she was in this condition.
“I’m fine, (y/n), trust me.” Kakashi tried to convince her, although he knew that it was to slip past the analytical mind of (y/n). Sitting up on the bed, she shook her head, “No, you’re not, and I don’t need you to always be with me. I’m strong enough to take care of myself, Hatake.” A pout formed on her lips as she cracked a smile. It was Kakashi’s turn to shake his head, “Whether you like it or not, (l/n)-”
Can I request a Neji x reader where the reader is ANBU or maybe some other super classified group? Headcanons?
Neji dating an ANBU member headcanons♡
A/N: I'm fairly new at hcs tbh so I hope you like them. Like and show love please Beautifuls. Peace out.
Neji would absolutely date someone who is a skilled shinobi, I don’t think in any scenario would he date someone averagely skilled in the ninja arts. (I’m not talking about marriage, because he would unquestionably indulge in arranged marriage with any sort of person if his clan demands that of him. He good like that, but if he has the choice to choose his partner he undeniably wants a good, level-headed skilled kunoichi.)
He needs to respect his partner and I really don’t think he has reverence for anyone who takes the sparring and practicing lightly. The only way to even hold significance in Neji’s world would be to be remarkably diligent and meticulous in your field, preferably as a ninja.
That’s where you come in, since you are an ANBU member, the other missions you take/used to take without your identity concealed were accomplished with the same finesse, and the ones you executed with him made him acknowledge you.
With that acknowledgement came approval, which turned into admiration for your flairs and talents. When he got to know your beautiful personality and your radiant charisma, the thin line between admiration and adoration was crossed.
Neji needs good spirits and chirpiness in his life, no one can convince me otherwise. And since I believe Neji to be a traditional lad, there is no doubt he believes in soulmates (Destiny and that belief are borderline the same🤷♀️🤷♀️)
Your relationship is kind of smooth, when he actually asks you out like a proper gentlemen with flowers and dinner, but that comes to an end sadly. When the dates are cancelled abruptly and you don’t contact him for days on end, the poor baby is confused, like tons.
He feels a smidge dejected and perplexed when you don’t provide him proper answers as well. And man, is he hurt. He truly thought you were the one for him (well it took him months to select you from the rest) and to see you don’t give him all your efforts saddened him.
Of course, that wasn’t the case, you were so tired of balancing the secret and Rank A missions and the severe injuries that had you in the hospital for days at end. And when he tried to break things up with you, the dam broke under the pressure and strain and you blurted the truth out to not let him snatch away the only solace you had, your only comfort in the stress filled life you led.
For a child prodigy, Neji felt so utterly stupid. He was so furious at himself for not figuring it out sooner. What good were his smarts if he wasn’t able to deduce that about his girlfriend? He was infuriated by his ignorance, but that was nothing in comparison to the heaps of relief that filled him.
He now fathomed the real reason behind every cancellation of your nights out, his worry multiplied a thousand times when he got to learn the stories of your scars. With every near death experience you recited with humour, his veneration for you amplified.
Five years into the future, as everything was out on the table between you and him already, I would certainly congratulate you both as you are for sure engaged now with a wedding date set, if not married already.
Even though no one else in your friend circle is aware of your secret, Neji is proud of you beyond words which more than compensates for your friends’ praises.
Sharing the secret with someone, after several years of burying it, feels good. Because there is someone out there that recognises your efforts and the pride in his eyes to call you ‘his’ almost makes your assassin self cry.
And even though you miss some important anniversaries and date nights and family celebrations, Neji understands it all. The snide comments about your absence never really faze him, and he always has your back. He could never stab you in the back because he knew there is a possibility you might be getting stabbed out there for real, protecting these haters and him by risking yourself.
He does sleep very lightly, his mind anxious for your arrival in his subconscious state but he trusts that destiny brought you home every time and he trusts that it will again.
A/N: thanks for making it to the end. Sending love your way.
Tenzo | Yamato x reader
Fandom : Naruto | Naruto Shippuden
Words : 2k (I don’t even know how it turned out to be that long?)
Sum. : It’s New Year Eve but not everyone has a family to spend the night with. It may be time for you to share it with your senpai.
A/N : Because I am that kind of people that write about New Year Eve in June. Fight me
You were quite young when you joined the Special Forces of Anbu. Not as much as great names like Kakashi Hatake, Itachi Uchiha… or Tenzo.
You were 14 when you became one of their agents, despite your family’s - especially your parents’ - worries. Both were shinobis themselves, and supportive for you to become a great kunoichi on your own, but it didn’t make them any less worried about their baby being a secret agent of Konoha.
Yet, the Hokage, Sarutobi Hiruzen at that time, encouraged you. You showed great skills in the different fighting arts. Your team sensei was a great help for sure, but you were a fast learner and your teammates couldn’t follow your rhythm. That’s why you ended up within the special forces with the Third’s recommendation, looking for acknowledge, challenges and people who could teach you more.
At first, you were placed in different teams with every new mission, so you could learn how to work along different shinobis with various fighting style and chakra nature. But then, there was Tenzo. At that time he was 20, still had long hair, dozens years of experience as an Anbu agent and was skilled like any other agent in your eyes ; you had facilities working with him. You had such a great respect for his person from the start, never forgetting the words he told you before your first mission together : “I like being nice and friendly, but I don’t have any problems with ruling by fear either”. It didn’t seem to you at first sight, but you learnt he really was a born-leader and deserved his rank.
For eight years you served in Tenzo’s team - most of the time at least - and you were positively ready to keep up this lifestyle for all your life. You were working with friends and becoming stronger to protect your loved ones and the village. And were by Tenzo’s side.
You realized your attraction for the brown-haired man soon. He was young, strong, pretty handsome - even more when he happened to cut his hair short -, intelligent and you loved that kind and respectful attitude of him. You were 14 and him 20, you thought it to be a teen crush based on admiration for your senpai and didn’t mind it much. It wasn’t a problem until a few years later when you get that that crush didn’t fade and worst, turned into love. You kept on denying for months, telling yourself it would be a phase but even with time passing, being always so close to him, you just kept on falling harder for the Mokuton-user.
You had just came back from a watch around the village. It was still early in the evening. While your partners were like you in the locker room changing, you noticed Tenzo kept his equipment on and went to a restroom. When you have gotten rid of your Anbu outfit, you followed him to the annexe room. He had crashed on on of the couch and put his mask aside, the back of his head resting on the backrest. Not long through, as something cold came in contact with the skin of his neck. He opened his formerly closed eyes to see you standing before him.
“(Anbu name) ?”
You held out a water bottle for him to take and sat next to him as soon as he took it.
“What are you doing here ? Shouldn’t you be heading home ?”
“I will. But aren’t you, senpai ?”
It was December 31. The weather was rather freezing but there wasn’t snow falling yet. Only black ice for Konoha’s inhabitants to slip and fall on ; a good way for the Katon-user genins to train on their chakra control.
For the last three years your mother had been complaining to not have you at home for the New Year Eve as you were on constraint. Luckily you successfully got your night free this year. As long as Tenzo got his since you were always paired up together. But you knew it wasn’t something he craved for ; having free days on important events was just a reminder he had no family.
“No. I think I’ll just stay here for the night, in case anyone need me.”
“It’s New Year Eve. You should be celebrating like any other normal human being, senpai.”
“You should know by now I am no normal human being.” He smirked to you as a joke.
”Tsk. I know that very well.”
Both of you chuckled a bit. The years had grew you closer and comfortable with each other despite the age gap. You watched him drink the water, thinking.
“What about we spend the eve together, senpai ?”
“You asked for your night free. Don’t waste it.”
“I won’t.” You stood. “Come with me at my parents’.”
Tenzo raised an eyebrow with a little smile.
“Don’t kid me, (Anbu name).”
“I’m not. I’m serious. I’ve talked a lot about you to them, I’m sure they’ll be more than happy to receive you at their table. There’ll be lots of good things to eat. My father’s always cooking for a whole army. I am practically sure we could feed a tailed beast with all the food they’ll be.“
You said that so seriously it made Tenzo let out a laugh.
“Ok, ok. I believe you.” He calmed down. “I am very thankful to you but I Don’t want to intrude.”
“You’re not. I’m inviting you.” He looked at you, hesitating. “So, you’re coming ?”
That’s how Tenzo found himself in front of your parents’ door.
“Tenzo-senpai, you should pick another name for tonight don’t you ?”
“Ah, yeah. I should. Then… Yamato ?”
You showed a large smile to him and nodded. “Sounds good, Yamato-senpai.”
“I Don’t even know your true nam-”
Tenzo hadn’t the time to finish his sentence that the door before you opened wide on your mother, your father just behind her. She shouted while jumping on your arms.
“(NAME)-CHAN ! My baby, you’re here !”
You laughed at her estatic behavior. She used to be calmer but since you Don’t pay much visits with your Anbu duty, both of your parents were overjoyed anytime they could see you - and your mother wasn’t one to hide it. She kissed your forehead before taking a step back and saw the man by your side.
“You didn’t tell us you would come accompany, (Name)-chan.” Your mother was greeting Tenzo with a large smile.
“Mama, it’s my senpai. Yamato.” You presented him as he bowed his head politely to your parents.
“Nice to meet you, Ma’am.”
“Don’t be so formal, Yamato-san. Call us uncle and auntie. Honet, let the young people get inside before they freeze on the doorstep.”
You saw the uneasiness Tenzo had to call your mother auntie, when he thanked her for getting both of your coats, and how it made your father chuckled. Tenzo could only smile as he followed you and your father to the living-room and as you told him not to bother your senpai.
On the main room, Tenzo was surprised to find many pictures of the whole family. Truth be told he didn’t have an idea of what a family home looks like. But what he could see seemed good to him. From your parents’ wedding to your birth, what seemed to be your first steps, teeth, schoolay. Your genin promotion. The chunin one too. There wasn’t a picture without you or your relatives smiling happily.
“Senpai ?”
Tenzo turned to you and noticed you were sitting with your father around the kotatsu. Sure he had one but it never seemed so appealing to him. On the table, your parents had put so many dishes. You weren’t kidding when you said your father was cooking too much.
Ornament, offering, soba (noddle soup) - your family was respecting the traditional celebration of the New Year Eve almost completely. You even got to see Tenzo play uta-garuta (Japanese playing cards about poems). It was really entertaining and you were glad you got to see th Young man enjoyed the night.
Even when midnight was farely passed, and that you already had exchanged your vows of health, happiness, love and luck, Tenzo had stayed a bit longer to play shogi with your father. Both were extremely concentrated. You were looking sitting just next to them, talking with your mother about your visit to the temple in the Morning and how she wished you would wear a traditional kimono. Yeah because she had complained you went with casual clothes for the night.
What she didn’t complain about through was how she saw the look in your eyes everytime you were looking at Tenzo. She was once again watching you brought another orange slice to Tenzo’s lips who took it mechanically between his lips as he was so into his play. She hadn’t said anything about you bringing a man at home for the first time, but she knew it wasn’t insignificant.
“Checkmate.”
“Aaah. Uncle, you beat me. Well done.”
“Of course, son. Only the Nara can HAHAHAHA.” Your father laugh of his own lack of modesty.
“I could never thank you enough for tonight, Uncle, Auntie. Name-chan too obviously.” You looked up from the orange in your hands. It was the first time he called you by your true name of the whole evening. It made your cheeks burnt a bit.
“It’s nothing much. senpai.” You smiled at each other before he stood up from his place.
“I think it’s time for me to go home.”
Your mother invited him to stay but the brown haired man declined and promised to meet you and your family at the temple in the morning. You stood up at your tuen and went with him looking for his coat and bringing him back at the front door.
“You’re really sure you don’t want stay, senpai ?“
You watched as he put on his shoes then turned to you nodding.
“I don’t want to overstay yours and your parents’ welcome. Thank you, (Name)-chan.” He paused a bit before turning on his feet to take the exit. “Let see each other at the temple later.”
The door closed before your eyes.
Tenzo wasn’t doing his tenth step outside your house that he heard your voice Calling him.
“Wait, senpai.”
He stopped and turned to you. You seemingly hadn’t take the time to put on shoes and were walking in socks in the street. He couldn’t pay him much attention that you had cought up with him. You were fast to put your warm hands on his cheeks and bring his face to yours so your lips crashed on each other.
Tenzo’s eyes widdened and didn’t miss that yours were closed. He didn’t have time to proceed anything that you had already a few steps back away and his face was again feeling the cold of the air.
“I know it’s a bit late for a midnight kiss. But I really don’t to spend the following year alone. I want it to be with you, Tenzo-senpai.”
Tenzo’s heart was beating crazily in his chest and he had no doubt yours was as well. He could see the fear in your eyes ; fear of being rejected and worst that he would take his distance with you. You weren’t even looking at him but at the ground.
“I guess I took the right decision staying at your parents.”
You looked up at him, not understanding.
“You wouldn’t have kiss me back there, right ?” You shook your head no for response. “Then I did good.”
The growing smile on his eyes made you sighed in relief. However it didn’t last long as you felt him a mere inches before you in the slipt of a second.
“Happy New Year, (Name)-chan.”
He put a kiss on your forehead.
“Let’s spend another year together.”
You barely had the time to answer “Happy New Year, Tenzo-san.” that his lips were back on yours.
Subject: ANBU Kakashi and you are assigned to an undercover mission where your cover is blown thanks to you mistakenly trying to protect the silver haired ninja.
Rating: T
Pairing: ANBU!Kakashi x ANBU!Reader
Continuation of:
Anbu Kakashi is triggered on a mission and has a nightmare
Prompt by:
Daisy-Uzamaki-Chan
The Konoha morning was new when you found yourself walking up the steps to the Hokage’s office. The birds were barely awake, and the air was crisp as it blew against your face. Your black ANBU attire blended with the morning as dawn had just barely begun to break.
Inside the mansion, you walked down the hallway, observing the scrolls that hung from the walls. Your eyes grazed over portraits that hung, representing prestigious men and women of Konoha. Finally, you knocked on the Hokage’s wooden door, bowing as you walked in and addressed him properly. He stood from behind his desk, and you wondered if he had simply slept behind it instead of heading home from yesterday.
He looked down at you, his blue eyes glistening despite how tired he looked as he evaluated one of his best ANBU members. You looked him over, the circles under his eyes becoming deeper with every new mission that passed between the special ranks team and himself. You stood tall, standing stern behind your porcelain mask.
“[Y/N],” he addressed happily, “I must apologize for the early hour. But I have an important mission for you and your team.”
“My team?” you dipped your chin, unsure as to what he meant. Normally, you worked with whatever team needed you, as you were the best medical ninja on the ANBU and in conjunction that with your blood bending jutsu, you were unstoppable.
“He should be arriving momentarily,” he smiled warmly, “until then, here is your mission scroll.”
Lord Fourth leaned over his hardwood desk, a scroll in his hand for you to take. You opened it, looking it over. The objective was simple, one member of your team would be going undercover to the village Hidden in the Hot Springs which resided in the Land of Hot Water. Konoha intel had information regarding this Hot Spring Village saying that there may be an attack prompted by them. The mission was to go undercover as a prestigious member of a neighboring village whom they have ties with and ask to be involved with the Konoha attack. The other team member would pose as their bodyguard. Afterward, you were to quickly return the information and another team of assassins would be dispatched.
Nodding your head, you looked over the scroll once more and rolled it back up.
Before the words of who your teammate would be, the door opened and a silver haired shinobi walked in. Your body went rigid. Now, Kakashi Hatake stood beside you, his normally tall lanky figure filled out since the last mission you had completed with him. He had been reassigned to work under Danzo in the Roots branch, but once that was exposed, he must have found himself standing before the Hokage’s command once again.
You turned your head to him, knowing he could smell your sudden sweat that had washed over your body. You hadn’t seen him since the last mission where he was haunted by nightmares of losing his comrade at his own hand. You figured you wouldn’t see much of him now since you were both under different commands with different mission objectives. And yet, after hearing the rumors through the grapevine, your bittersweet reunion stood still in front of you.
“[Y/N],” Minato looked at you before smiling warmly at his student, “I’m sure you remember Hatake Kakashi.”
You looked over at him, his silver hair longer than it had been that night in the caves when he asked softly if he could hold you while Yamato stood command outside. You remembered how he smelled and the feel of his skin, despite only being briefly enveloped in his arms before it was time to switch lookout posts.
You swallowed, nodding your head curtly in a greeting.
“I do,” you responded, “I look forward to working with you.”
His eye glistened behind his mask, “Same to you.”
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
The entire trip to the Land of Hot Springs was silent with the exception of the forced conversation about navigation. He seemed to be feeling as awkward as you. You were unsure of what to say, wondering if he was waiting for you to say something or simply ignoring you for purposes of his pride. You occasionally glanced over at him as the heat grew the closer you got to the hidden village.
“I’m glad you’re back,” you finally managed.
“Hm?” He looked over at you, his porcelain mask atop of his head. Beads of sweat were beginning to pour down his face and you only imagined yours did the same, your hair sticking to your temples.
“I said I’m glad you’re back,” you repeated. Once you realized what that sounded like you quickly added, “We needed your experience and expertise on the team.”
“Oh,” he responded, nodding his head. “I’m glad to be back. Except, I’m thinking of hanging up the mask after this mission.”
You blinked, “really?”
He nodded his head, wiping his silver hair from his forehead as you jumped from branch to branch. It stuck to the top of his head.
“How come?”
He was quiet or a moment, contemplating as he snapped a branch under his feet and quickly recovered.
“I’ve just - I don’t know how to describe it, but I just feel like it’s time to move on. To find something new. I just don’t feel like I belong here anymore.”
“That’s not true, you belong here, Kakashi.”
“No, I mean, I feel like there is something else out there for me. Minato-sensei - Lord Fouth - said that I may be a good fit to be a sensei for some upcoming genin.”
“A sensei, huh?” you smiled at him, feeling the ice break between you for the first time in hours.
“I know,” he scratched the back of his neck, “It sounds strange but, I just don’t think I can handle the missions for the ANBU anymore.”
You nodded your head, “understandable. Perhaps I should look into the same path.”
He looked over at you, his single eyebrow raised in surprise. Under his mask, you could see his lips curl into a surprised smile.
“Perhaps you should.”
* * * * * * * * * * * *
“Okay,” you began as you kneeled behind some bushes and opened your bag. “Here is some attire that the neighboring village wears. Lord Fourth gave me this for you to wear.”
You threw him traditional looking Yukata that matched his black mask.
“Minato-Sensei doesn’t realize that black fabric attracts heat, does he?” Kakashi evaluated the clothing fabric in his hand.
“At least it’s made of cotton and not silk, like mine,” you frowned, taking out your kimono. He looked down at it and began peeling off his armor. You stood there, unsure of what to do as your face began to burn.
It was normal for men and women to change in front of one another on missions. There was no time for formalities and to feel self-conscious, so you decided that it shouldn’t matter now either when you had a time constraint on your hands. Awkwardly, you began to do the same, placing it back in your backpack one piece at a time.
“Uh,” you heard him say, looking away and averting his eyes as you covered your exposed belly. You noticed a soft blush creep across his face. Quickly, he tried to occupy himself, embarrassed that he had even spoken and reacted.
Without saying anything, you both made an agreement to keep your backs turned as you changed. Moments later, you both turned to face each other in your new garb.
“You look nice,” his eye crinkled in a smile. “Very fitting - I mean - it’s a good outfit for the circumstances.”
He jumbled his words and scratched the back of his head. You wondered if Minato would still have put you two together if he knew how awkward you two were becoming with your feelings that seemed to just have picked up where they left off months ago. It was so uncharacteristic of him to be awkward when there was a mission on hand. You remembered when the two of you were younger and all he spoke about were rules.
“Thank you,” you smiled warmly. “You do also. The eyepatch is very becoming.”
He cleared his throat as you laughed, “Let’s get going.”
“Hai.”
The two of you walked carefully up to the steel village gates, guards asking for your paperwork and you both handed them the forged work of Minato. When you passed their inspection, Kakashi asked where the Kage’s office was and was promptly pointed in the direction of his office.
“He should be expecting you, Omura-sama,” the guard bowed deeply. Kakashi stiffened, not used to such a gesture but quickly recovered back to his undercover character. Quickly, you followed him as you made your way across town.
You sighed, pulling the collar of the kimono as you walked beside Kakashi, seeing him sweating as well as the rolls of steam passed by you. The hot air seemed to just rise from the ground and you wondered how people who normally lived here were so used to such humid temperatures.
“Over there,” he nodded in the direction of a wooden building that stood tall amongst the small brick homes that curtained it.
He leaned over and whispered to you, “now remember, you are my ‘bodyguard’, but you don’t need to do anything except stand there, okay?”
You nodded, understanding, “what if-”
“Just stand there,” he responded sternly. You caught a glimpse of his glimmering charcoal eye, his eyebrow pointed.
“Hai,” you responded, nodding your head.
“Ah,” you heard a voice coo from a few feet away. “Omura-Sama, a pleasure. My name is Kiyota Kioshi.”
You looked up, noticing a man draped in robes before the Kage’s office. You observed him as the two of you walked closer, watching Kakashi as he formally greeted him. The man was skinny, his skin pale and shone with a what looked like a perpetual sheen to it. His black hair was slung back and hung between his shoulder blades. Across his face was a deeply rooted scar that crossed from one eye to his lips, giving him a more stern look than his body gave.
“Ah, and who is this?” Kioshi turned his attention to you, bowing deeply. He took your hand and kissed it, his sweaty and boney fingers brushing your palm.
Kakashi put a protective hand on your shoulder, “my bodyguard, [y/n]-chan.”
“Such a beautiful woman for such a noble title,” Kioshi smiled, letting go of your hand. “Are you sure you’re up to the task?”
“Still water runs deep,” Kakashi responded before you did. “Shall we?”
“Ah, yes. Of course. Upstairs, upstairs,” Kioshi motioned for the two of you to follow him. Upstairs, the heat was even worse. The humidity grazed against your skin like a heated blanket, suffocating you. You pushed it away, looking to see that Kakashi was also having a hard time. Sweat dripped from his temples.
When you reached the top of the stairs, Kioshi looked back at you, his eyebrows narrowing. You noticed, but he quickly turned away. Down the hallway, you reached a large wooden door that Kioshi quickly opened and ushered you in. Inside, the room became hushed as three other men sat at the table, all of them wearing the same headband as Kioshi.
“Gentleman,” Kioshi greeted, seating himself down across from the men. Kakashi bowed before sitting himself down in the empty seat across from Kioshi. The other men looked at Kakashi, their eyes evaluating him as though he were a piece of fish for sale at the market.
You stood behind him, your arms at your side as you watched him converse with the others.
“So, your telegram informed me that you are looking to join our cause, Omura-sama,” Kioshi nodded his head.
Kakashi sat up straight, lifting his chin, “Yes, I have heard through the grapevine of your ambitions against the Village Hidden in the Leaves.”
Kioshi smiled, “We are. What makes you want to join?”
“As Konoha is one of the 5 Great Villages,” Kakashi began, his voice steady and believable. “I feel that it would only be proper to start with the top nations and work our way down. I, myself have a strong distaste for Konoha. They always seem to be so - how should I put this - egotistical. As though they are the better, more elite shinobi.”
Kioshi raised his eyebrows, nodding. “And what would you propose to do about that?”
Kakashi’s eye contact didn’t waver, “I feel as though a partnership with you would be most beneficial to the invasion of their village. Using your shinobi and mine, I believe we can accomplish defeating them. And this, will only be the beginning, wouldn’t you agree?”
Kioshi nodded, smiling. He closed his eye, “of course. Working with you would be a joy, Omura-sama. Your village is in close proximity to ours, which would help with quick strategy planning. We have a contract already drawn up if you wouldn’t mind signing one today?”
Kakashi watched as Kioshi flipped through the folder on his desk, all of his colleagues nodding in agreement. Finally, he pulled out a thick piece of paper and a pen, passing it to his neighbor and motioning for it to go to Kakashi.
“If you would please look over and sign this agreement, I would be most grateful and please to start this partnership.”
Kakashi took the paper from the man next to him and looked it over. You looked at his hands, amazed that they weren’t shaking with such stress that surrounded you both. You weren’t even sure of what you should do and you wondered if he would ask to sign it another time once he looked it over.
To your surprise, he pulled out his own pen from his robes and smiled at Kioshi.
“I think this will do just fine,” Kakashi nodded, his signature sliding across the parchment.
You blinked, watching him pass the paper back down. Kioshi’s eyes narrowed again, and you wondered what he was thinking. As soon as Kakashi made eye contact with him, his eyes went back to a pleasant grin.
“Shall we have a celebratory drink?” Kioshi offered, motioning to the man next to him.
“Of course,” Kakashi smiled. The man stood, walking over to a cupboard that was against the plainly decorated wall.
“So, Omura-sama, is it?” the man seated next to Kakashi began, his flaming red hair a distraction to his plain face.
“Hai,” Kakashi nodded.
“That is a pretty nasty scar you have there,” the man smiled, “Is there a story behind that?”
You listened as Kakashi rambled off a heroic story he made up off the top of his head. You were amazed, staring at the back of his silver head as he quickly thought up a story to appease this man.
But something else caught your eye. The man across the room that was pouring the Sake was motioned back over to Kioshi by a curl of his finger. Kioshi whispered something in his ear as Kakashi kept talking. You narrowed your eyebrows and the man nodded. You watched as the man went back over to the bar, grabbing something underneath and ripping it open. His back covered what happened next, but your imagination got the best of you and you knew it wasn’t something good.
You knew your cover was blown.
A moment later, the man was handing out little glasses of sake to the men and Kakashi drummed his fingers against it happily. You sniffed the air and you could smell something different.
“To a new nation!” Kioshi smiled, raising his glass. The men followed the motion and Kakashi lifted the glass to his lips.
“No!” you slapped the glass out of his hands, watching it fall to the ground and shatter on the hardwood floor. You held your breath, realizing what you had done. Kakashi turned his head, his eyes wide and serious.
“It’s poison!” you told him through your teeth.
“I knew it!” Kioshi stood, planting his palms on the table and pointing. “I knew you were imposters! I knew it when I saw you sweating from the heat! And we do not have shinobi here, we have samarui! Capture them!”
Quickly, Kakashi stood, grabbing the table and pushing it up. The men scrambled, throwing kunai and shuriken your way. You made the hand signs and quickly released a fireball jutsu, the heat engulfing the room quickly. One man fell and another scrambled towards you, grabbing onto your ankle.
Kakashi swiftly reached for you, grabbing your kimono and yanking you away before running out of the room. He threw a smoke bomb, the hallway quickly flooded with smoke as you both ran down the stairs. He swore under his breath, angry.
“Use your blood bending!” He yelled as two men came out through the smoke.
“But!”
“Just do it!”
You made the hand signs again and your mind traveled through the men’s bodies, flowing through their bloodstream and ceasing all blood flow to their heart. From the outside, you looked back and watched them grasp at their chest in agony. Quickly, they dropped to the ground as you reached the end of the Kage’s office, running out into the street.
There was a sound of an explosion and you looked back, noticing the window of the room you had just been in exploded.
“What was that?” you yelled to Kakashi as he pushed passed civilians. Sweat dripped down his face.
He didn't answer you and suddenly you realized that it was exploding ink from the pen he had used to sign the paper.
They came to the end of the village quickly and the guards were ready. Quickly, Kakashi yanked off his eyepatch and awakened his Sharingan.
You watched as his eye began to glow red, his hand reaching up behind him as it lit up with lightning. The sound of his Chidori filled your ears as he punched his fist through the chest of one the guards and then another. You threw a shuriken at the last, throwing your knee into their stomach in the last ditch attempt. He fell to the ground and Kakashi quickly grabbed your forearm and dragged you out of the village, grabbing your bag as it laid behind the bush and jumping into the trees.
The two of you ran through the forest for closer to ten minutes, jumping through the branches as an awkward angry silence fell between you two. Finally, he landed, brushing off his knees and the blood that was on his arm and looked over at you.
"What were you thinking?" He finally asked, his voice dripping with disapproval.
"I'm sorry," you pursed your lips. "But they were trying to poison you and-"
"I knew what they were doing. That's why I put a filter over my teeth while they were pouring it to take the poison out." He pulled a piece of clear fabric out of his robes, holding it up to you in the dark sky.
"Well, I didn't know that-"
"Because you weren't thinking!"
"I was thinking! I was thinking the whole time! I knew what I was doing!"
"No, you didn't!" He yelled. You cringed at his voice, never hearing it full of such anger and contempt.
"You could have gotten us killed back there!" He told you, waving his hand in the direction you just came from and stepping closer to you. He breathed in, sweat still dripping from his face in the humidity.
"I was trying to help you!"
"I don't-” He caught himself, turning away as he ran his fingers through his silver hair, beginning to pull at his clothes in frustration.
“You don’t need my help?” You pressed, walking closer to him. You looked up at him, forcing him to make eye contact with you.
“What ever happened to teamwork, Kakashi?”
“Teamwork only works when both parties know what is going on!”
“I knew what was going on! This was your fault for not telling me what you were doing!”
You stared up at him, your gaze intense as he gritted his teeth, matching your gaze. You flared your nose out of anger.
“You just-!” You began to speak but instead, you felt his hand wrap around the back of your neck and pull you into a kiss. Your emotions mixed and you didn’t know what to think. Your mind felt like it was in a fog and your body unraveled. The feeling of his clothed lips on yours sent a tense shiver down your spine and he brought his other hand to your jaw.
Finally, you felt your body give in and you fell into his chest. Despite the piece of fabric between your skin, you could still feel his hot breath on your mouth as he moved his lips over yours, awakening your senses. When he finally pulled away, he placed his forehead against yours, breathless as he gazed down at you with intense eyes. His hand occupied the back of your head, his fingers threading through your hair and the other at your jaw, caressing your cheek.
It was as if all this frustration that had been building up, from working together to the misunderstanding, and finally to the failed mission. But suddenly, it didn’t feel like it anymore.
This time, the look in his single eye wasn’t full of anger like it was moments before, but with a satisfaction and a sense that he was trying to tell you all of what he was feeling just through one look. You looked up at him, wrapping your arms around his shoulders and your fingers through the hair at the nape of his neck. He exhaled and a smile broke from behind his mask.
You found yourself laughing, smiling up at him at the tension between the two of you that had finally melted away. Laughing at what had just happened. Laughing at your mission. Laughing at each other. After a moment, it quieted down and you stared back at each other.
“I’ve been waiting so long to do that,” he whispered to you honestly. You smiled softly.
You leaned up, taking your fingers out from behind his head and tracing them along the edge of his mask. You hooked your fingers under it, and he paused, gently taking your hand in his wrist for a moment. You looked up at him as if to ask for permission and he finally let go. You smiled, pulling his mask down so that it slowly crept over ever feature that you had once wondered about. His long pointed nose, the curve of his mouth, the small mole that graced his chin. Finally, you let it drop, the piece of fabric pooling around his neck as you embraced him in another kiss.
You both knew you shouldn’t be doing this in such a situation. The enemy could be watching you from afar right now, waiting for the precise moment to attack. And yet, the world was melting around both of you and he wrapped his arms around your waist.
When you pulled away, you looked up at him and smiled.
A/N: Oookieee, so I decided to start writing a new fic bc I have great ideas for a story line. Yet I can’t bring myself I writing an actual beginning. Like I’ve already written some random chapters, but I can’t do anything with them because they don’t really make much sense without the context of the rest of the fic/my ideas. Like this chapters is where the romance/actual x reader gets into actual action. Hopefully you get the gist of what the plot is, and aren’t confused as hell from this part. Sorry if it’s a bit long, it’s around 4.8k-ish words. Enjoy 💜
Hatake Kakashi wasn't one to celebrate his birthday.
He simply thought that they were foolish excuses to let loose and party. To Kakashi, birthdays were no reason to be happy and celebrate. They were just reminders of how long he had endured the pain of living. Each year marked another without the people he once held close in his heart. His father, his sensei, his teammates, and (y/n)...
The day that (y/n) gone on that horrible mission was his special day. The mission he was supposed to go on, but (y/n) filled in for because she wanted him to go celebrate with Gai and the others. So much for having the day of joy...Kakashi thought to himself mournfully.
With a great sigh, he grabbed the last of his belonging, shoving them in his mission pack. He'd promised to take his students out of a group mission for the day, but it had been mostly for selfish reasons. Kakashi had hoped that this would take his mind off of the weight in his soul, yet knowing that his efforts would be futile. The loss would never leave him, it would always follow him like a darned shadow. It would forever haunt him. There was not letting go of the horrors of his past.
Slowly, Kakashi strolled to the gates of Konoha to meet his kids, shoving his hands in his pockets as he mumbled a little tune under his breath. The dark cloudy sky and drizzling rain seemed to mirror how he felt inside.
Drip, drop. Drop, drop. Drop, drop.
Each raindrop fell upon the dirt paths of the town, dampening Kakashi's Jonin uniform. If only he'd gone on that mission, if only he hadn't let (y/n) take his place. If only so many things that happened hadn't. If only he felt whole again. He could feel the heavyweight of guilt on his shoulders, spreading pain throughout his body. Sure, Team 7 filled the void, but they could only do so much. If there is one thing I wish for, it is that these kids will grow up to be happy.
A soft smile played upon Kakashi's face as he approached the three teens. "KAKASHI-SENSEI!" His hyperactive blonde student, Uzumaki Naruto, yelled at him, "YOU'RE LATE-TTEBAYO!" He raised his fist in anger. Sakura glared at both Kakashi and Naruto, slapping the boy's back to calm him down. Off to the side stood Sasuke, his hands in his pockets as he briefly kicked the dirt and pebbles around him to form his clan's symbol. "Usuratonkachi," he grumbled at the group. To be honest, Kakashi did feel a little guilty about keeping the kids waiting for him. They were being held back just because he was wallowing in self-pity. And Kakashi felt ashamed of that; ordering his mind to push his thoughts further to the back of his mind.
Kotetsu and Izumo, guards of the gates, turned to the team and smiled in greeting. "The gate opening mechanism is broken, so we have to manually open the gates," they explained. "Heading out yet again, eh?" Kotetsu chuckled. "I thought you lot just came back from a mission. Ya leaving so soon?" Izumo asked. Naruto pumped his hand into the air, "Yeah! Dattebayo! It's only a C rank, but it'll be fun-ttebayo!"
He's a lot like you, eh Obito, Kakashi's mind wandered as he looked up at the clouded sky, a drop of rain fell upon his nose and slid down his mask. If only you, Minato-sensei, and Rin were here to see us in action. You would be proud.
But what about (y/n)? Part of Kakashi was surprised that he didn't think of her immediately. Did he still believe that she could've been alive? After the Hokage had told him that he'd lost contact with (y/n), Kakashi didn't know what to think. It had been 3,650 days since she left. 3,589 since she was supposed to come back. And 3,529 days since they fully lost contact. What were the chances she'd come back, alive or injured? Kakashi wanted to believe that she was still alive. Was that realistic?
"She's gone, Kakashi! You need to understand that!" He flashed back to when Asuma, Gai, and Kurenai had tried to slap some sense into him. Well actually, Kurenai had slapped him. "Kakashi-sensei?" Sakura gently tugged his sleeve, straining her arm up so her red umbrella would also cover his head. "Are you okay? You've been spacing out a lot lately." She whispered as she looked up at him.
"I'm fine, Rin," Kakashi weakly smiled, "It's nothing that you should worry about." Sakura flashed him a questioning look, "Rin?" Sucking the air, Kakashi's whole body tensed up, "Sorry." He looked away, turning his attention to the bickering Sasuke and Naruto. "Just a little mix-up, Sakura." He put on a fake smile, breaking up the boy's fight. "Let's go, shall we?"
"Alright! Shanaroo!"
"Dattebayo!"
Kotetsu and Izumo went to open the gates but stopped to exchange worrisome glances. "Someone just knocked from the other side of the gates. Which is weird because our list says that we shouldn't be expecting anybody." Izumo knit his eyebrows together. Kotetsu, who had been looking through a glass which allowed him to see the incomer, hastily urging Izumo to help him. "ANBU!" He had barked at his partner, "Bleeding! Dying, wounds, whatever! They need medical attention!" That had caught Kakashi's attention, he got ready to act as the guards opened up the gates, heaving on the rusted hinges. Yet he was not mentally prepared for what awaited on the other side of the grand doors.
There she stood. Uniform torn, stained and ripped up. The wakizashi sword that was strapped to her hip was blunt and scratched, the sheath dented. Skin scratched and bruised, wounds dripping with blood and gore. A long x shaped cut on the inner side of her left thigh. Gasping and choking for air, she started to wobble, blood dribbling down her limbs and stomach. The rain continued to fall, now hard and heavy; burning and searing the wounds of the lady. Yet she still managed to keep her face from wavering In an instant, Kakashi recognized who the woman was based on her cracked porcelain ANBU mask. (y/n).... "Sakura! Go alert the hospital. And you two boys, clear the way for Sakura so she can get there. Quickly!" Kakashi ordered them as he took the heavily wounded woman in his arms. Anger and fear coursed through Kakashi's veins as his heart thumped erratically. He could feel (y/n)'s body twitch in pain. "Izumo, go let Hokage-sama know that Ibara-hime has returned." Kakashi let out one last demand before zipping off to follow his kids.
"Kakashi..." (y/n) mumbled out his name, "Kakashi..." she shakily rose her hands up to gently cup his masked cheeks. "What is it?" He whispered, gently rubbing her skin through a torn patch of her ripped uniform. "Happy birthday, Hatake..." She softly breathed, her tight grip of Kakashi's chest loosened as her eyes dropped closed. Please don't die, (y/n)... I've waited all the fucking years. You aren't leaving me again. A tear formed in Kakashi's eye, flying off with the rain as he bolted towards the hospital. Stay with me a bit longer, will you?
"My sensei will be here any second with an ANBU woman in need of immediate medical attention!" Kakashi heard Sakura's voice quiver as he barged into the hospital. "I'm here, kids. Go to Gai-sensei and stay with him until I'm back." He quickly barked, flashing all of the nurses who flowed into the room a nervous look. "Please, help her. I'm begging you." He pleaded with the staff uncharacteristically. I need her to live. Need. "We do what we can, sir." One of the medic-nin nodded, putting (y/n)'s unconscious body onto the stretcher. If (y/n) lives, that would be the best birthday gift ever.
Kakashi jogged after the nurses and doctors, peering into the emergency clinic room through the window. "I'm sorry, Sir, but you won't be able to visit the lady until all the major injuries have been cleaned up and treated." A male nurse out his hand in his shoulder from behind. "But..! Okay..." Kakashi let out a sigh, "Isn't there any paperwork that needs to be filled out?"
The nurse shook his head, "The Hokage has come and is speaking to one of my colleagues about it. Don't worry about it. You won't have to take care of any of that." He tried to reassure the angsty shinobi, "The woman is part of the ANBU ranks, right? Her mask is of the uniform." Kakashi nodded his head, biting his lip inside of his mask, "Yeah...she is... but it's kinda complicated." The nurse raised his eyebrow but just shrugged. "Can I speak with the Hokage?" The Hatake requested. "Come this way," the other man sighed, leading him away.
Kakashi let out a deep and long sigh as he held (y/n)'s scraped hand in his gloved ones. He had been told by the same nurse from before that (y/n) was in a decent state to accept visitors, yet was still unconscious. He could tell that the nurse was hiding something from him, but he was too worried about (y/n) to give it a second thought. Hesitantly, he brought her hand to his masked lips, gently pressing them against the fabric. "Ya know, (y/n). After you left, I decided to give those goddamn books a try. And you're right, they are addictive. Thanks for the gift," Kakashi sadly chuckled before pausing for a moment.
"Those books, they helped me a lot. They helped me get through my days, just like you told me."
"They also helped me realize something. They helped me realize that I don't hate you. I don't want to hate, and I never should've."
"I've realized that I was such a dick to you at the beginning and that it was all my fault that our relationship became how it was. I regret it... So when you wake up again, I just want to start over again. Maybe not entirely, but just so that we can leave all the hate behind us. How does that sound?"
Kakashi stared at the sleeping (y/n), her chest heaving up and how slowly and rhythmically. It hurt him to see her like that, her skin swollen in the places of the stitches and anointed bruises. "Listen, (y/n). I'd never been able to tell this to you while you're conscious, so I might as well let it out now. I...I love you." Kakashi rightly shut his uncovered eye. "After feeling your loss, my dumbass self finally realized how much you are worth. After they pass on, you and the others were all I had left. But then you also left me, that hurt like hell." His tone started to break.
"Lord Hokage told me about the whole fake-death move, and I was relieved that you weren't gone for good. And then we lost contact, everybody assumed the mission had been finished, and your squad sacrificed your lives for it. I couldn't let the fact that you could be a dead sink in. It didn't feel right. Gai, Asuma, and Kurenai tried to get me out of another depression cycle. Kurenai even went to the lengths of quite literally slapping some sense into me." Kakashi played with a loose strand of (y/n)'s (h/c) hair.
The muscles of (y/n)'s hand twitched ever so slightly. Kakashi's drooping head snapped up; he'd almost fallen asleep in the chair. "(y/n)?" He murmured as her eyes started to flutter, "(y/n)?"
(y/n) chapped lip parted ever so slowly, taking a big breath of air, her (e/c) eyes squinting. "Hatake..?" She shakily managed to mumbled, her voice hoarse and dry. She tried to prop herself up on the bed, but Kakashi eased her back into her resting position. "Rest, (y/n), you're not ready to stress yourself yet." Kakashi to her, "I'll be back with a nurse and some water for you, alright?" (y/n) opened her mouth to speak, but no words came out. She simply looked down and nodded.
Moments later, Kakashi came back with the nurse and water. "Here," he carefully put the cup to her lip, gently tipping the cup, "Good." He turned to the nurse, who seemed to be scribbling something down from the little monitor to his clipboard. Kakashi's eyes followed the cord attached to it, to the long x shaped hash in (y/n)'s inner left thigh. What worried Kakashi was the anxious look on the nurse's face.
"(l/n)-san, your vitals are doing alright, but you'll have to stay here for a night or two just so that we can keep an eye on something's that may need monitoring." He curtly nodded his head, "Lord Hokage wished to speak to you. So, sir, that means you may have to leave."
Kakashi tried to reason with the other man, but (y/n) reached to weakly squeeze his thigh. "It's okay, Hatake. You can just drop by later." (y/n) tried to smile. "Fine," Kakashi grumbled, leaving the room and letting Hiruzen in.
After what seemed like an eternity, Hiruzen came back out. "How's (y/n)?" Kakashi asked him impatiently. The Hokage put his hand on Kakashi's shoulder as if trying to soothe him, "She'll be better soon. Don't worry, alright." The silver-haired shinobi let out a small grunt, "I know that she'll get better with time. But what about now?"
Kakashi knew that Hiruzen loved (y/n) almost like a daughter, he cared about her deeply. Hence the elaborate cover-ups to protect (y/n) and her squad on the unconventionally lengthy mission. The Hatake could see the sadness that had tried to be tucked away in the Sarutobi's eyes. "The main concern of the moment is the poison in the gash on her left thigh. The medic-nins have tried to extract as much of it as possible, and try to find something that will counteract the effects." The elderly man explained to him. "Did they find an antidote?" Kakashi questioned.
"That is where the problem lies," Hiruzen explained, "There is a certain medicinal herb that is used alongside a jutsu to nullify the effects, as the poison has traces of chakra. We have a few medics on hand who support the skill to perform the jutsu, but we don't have the plant. Even so, that won't be a permanent cure." Kakashi knit his eyebrows together, "How would it not be a perfect cure? Plus, since there are traces of chakra, could we possibly track down the person who created the poison and make them fess up on the cure?" He questioned.
"Great thinking, but..." Hiruzen groaned, "(y/n) said that they performed a self-destruction jutsu just after striking her. He probably thought that it would be in their best interest to take their secrets to the grave with them." Kakashi cursed under his breath, "Fuck... This is terrible."
Hiruzen nodded in agreement, "No duh."
Kakashi's head shot up, "Uh?!"
The elder man's eyes widened, "Did I use the term correctly?! I'm trying to pick up on the phrases the kids are using these days..."
Kakashi gritted his teeth, "Right idea of the meaning, I guess. But the context and timing...wasn't quite fit." Looking ever so slightly dejected, "Oh...alright." Smoothening out the wrinkles in his robe and putting in his cob pipe, "Kakashi, if you are going to stay here with (y/n), could you at least pick up some good food. The food in the hospital canteen is quite bland." Kakashi nodded his head and obliged, only to be stopped in his tracks by Hiruzen.
"Kakashi, I'd like to ask you something?"
"What is it?"
"What caused your change in actions towards (y/n) change so much?"
"What do you mean?"
"I've observed you two whilst you were in the ANBU together, and you never got along that well. And suddenly you act so attached to her, Kakashi. You don't need to answer. It's just that as your leader, I want to understand what is going on in the heads of some of my most trusted people." Hiruzen explained to Kakashi, puffing out a cloud of smoke from his cob pipe.
Kakashi frowned from behind his mask, trying to figure out how to explain his change of feelings in a professional manner. "I think that after I was given the impression that she was gone, I noticed that I cared about her. It made me realize that I was wrong to not see how much she meant in my life." He tried, his voice fading off into a whisper. Hiruzen smiled and nodded, "You really are something else, Kakashi."
Kakashi silently strolled over to Ichiraku's to grab some takeout. The paper lanterns lit the nearly empty streets of Konoha, creating a soft and soothing ambiance. The smell of the rain and moisture still clung to the air, the dirt roads had muddy dampness to them. "Yo! Kakashi, my eternal rival!" A boisterous and friendly voice greeted the said man. "Hey, Gai," Kakashi responded, he noticed his students sitting alongside each other and gave them a quick wave and smile. Naruto and Lee were arguing about who'd get Sakura. Sakura insisted that Sasuke would come around in her favor. Sasuke was quietly eating his food. And Neji and Tenten were discussing a new sword they saw in the windowsill of a weaponry shop.
"I'll take two eggplant miso soups with brown rice noodles," Kakashi leaned over the counter space between Lee and Naruto to order his meal, also effectively stopping the argument. "Thanks, Ayame," he thanked the daughter of Teuchi, owner of the quaint place. "No problem, Kakashi-san!" She chirped.
"Kakashi?" Gai raised his brushy brow, "Your kids told me about what happened this morning..." Kakashi sighed and pulled him aside so that they were at a comfortable distance, "It was (y/n)..." he told his best friend, "She's back and in the hospital because she's not in good health at the moment. I just came here to pick up a meal for her." Kakashi watched as Gai's jaw dropped, "(Y/N) IS ALIVE!" He exclaimed a touch too loud for his eternal rival's taste, "CAN I MEET HER?!" Tears of youthful joy waterfalled down the jumpsuit-clad man's cheeks. "I'll see if you can come tomorrow, alright Gai." Gai smiled broadly, "This is very...unusual. Youthful, nonetheless!" He grinned.
Kakashi rubbed the back of his head and nodded, "I'm glad she's back..." he murmured barely loud enough for Gai to hear. Knowingly, Gai patted Kakashi's back. "Oh! Yeah! Happy birthday, my youthful rival!" He gently punched his comrade's shoulder. A smile formed on Kakashi's lips, "Thanks, Gai." He flashed his eccentric friend his signature close-eyed smile.
"I'll see you later."
"Bye, Kakashi! Have a good night!"
Knock knock, Kakashi rapt (y/n)'s door, "Can I come in?"
"Come in," (y/n) murmured, a small moan of pain escaping her lips, "Ouch..."
Kakashi quickly set the takeout on a little table, rushing to (y/n)'s side. He wrapped his arm tightly around her waist and helped her to the table. "I got us dinner because the food at the canteen isn't that good." He explained with a slight shrug. "Thanks, Hatake," a weak smile formed on her lips. The silvered-haired Jonin served them their meals. "Itadakimasu," they both mumbled.
Heavy tension filled the room as they ate in silence. (y/n) knew that Kakashi had his mask down, but didn't look up. "It's been a while..." Kakashi breathed, in hopes of hearing (y/n) speak, "Too long..." The kunoichi rested her forehead on her palm, "I- Yeah..." she mumbled, eyes growing classier by the second. So much for trying to start a conversation... Kakashi thought sadly as they resumed their meals without a word. The silence seemed to be killed him. Kami, it had been 10 goddamn years! 3650 days since he had gotten to talk to the woman. He missed her. Hell, he could even say that he missed all of their little spats. Hatake Kakashi missed everything about (y/n).
"I missed you..." was all Kakashi mumbled as he pushed his finished food away and pulled up his mask, "All these days, months, and years."
Hot tears slipped down (y/n)'s cheeks, forming a puddle on the table. "I-I came back be-because I didn't want-want to hurt you and the r-rest. Dying on passed down pain to the people who love you. I can't afford to c-carry the guilt of t-that." She mumbled shakily, "I promised to be back, a-and I held up the promise." Kakashi sadly smiled as he awkwardly reached under the table to gently caress (y/n)'s thigh.
"You care about others so much, but you should really take a moment to care about yourself, (y/n)." Kakashi scolded the injured kunoichi, "You had me scared for you; all those gashes and open wounds... You could've died," he knit his eyebrows together in worry. "Don't do that ever again."
(y/n)'s dull smile faltered as Kakashi spoke on, "Now you know how I felt when I saw you doing all those suicidal stunts back then on those missions. It was like you were in a hurry to die... I mean, I was too, but you did some seriously dumb shit," she giggled emptily. Kakashi sweat-dropped, "I see... I guess you are right..." (y/n) rolled her (e/c) eyes as the masked shinobi let out a drained sigh, "I'm always right, Hatake."
"Really, (l/n)? You've been through torturous pain, and you still act like a child." Kakashi groaned, "All these years..." (y/n) shot him a hard glare, "All these years and you still think you're in charge of me." He cast a confused look, "It's my duty to protect you, as a comrade." As a comrade... "I guess, but you're just annoying, Hatake," she huffed.
"I'm sorry about ruining your birthday with my arrival and stuff. I probably ruined your plans with those kids." (y/n) looked down, breaking the silence that had fallen upon them, "I could hear you guys through the gate; they seemed pumped about going out. I'm sorry, I didn't think about the flaws in my whole plan." Kakashi's head snapped up from its resting position on the table, "It's fine, they don't even know it's my birthday," he paused, "But you planned to come here? As in, today in particular. With all those injuries, (l/n), you should've just tried to take care of yourself. My birthday isn't as important as your health."
The (y/n) shook her head, "I was going to stay at a small village pretty far from here before finally coming home. I planned to just heal up there and see how things went from there. I even considered settling down there. But that just didn't feel right," (y/n) face set in a frown, "Once I realized that your birthday wasn't that far off, I decided that I couldn't stay and needed to come back. I doubted I would even live to be back. But here I am..." she said with a soft wince of pain. "It was terrible, I hated every second of it," Her (s/t) fingers made their way to the raw mark on her inner thigh, “I’d already lost so much; there was nothing for me to lose at that point.” Kakashi's face softened as he understood what she meant. (y/n) wasn't put in the mission alone, she had her team. They all must've been killed with time.
"Ouch!" (y/n) yelped as she let out a moan of pain, clenching the fabric of her hospital-issued pajama pants. “Shh..." Kakashi whispered into her ear, quickly leaning in to soothe her, "What's causing all this pain?" He asked with a frown as (y/n) bit her lip. "It's the thing in your thigh, right? Lord Hokage and the nurse told me a bit about it. But I still don't fully understand it and how it can't fully be cured."
(y/n) buried her face in her hands, "Oh..." She mumbled, "The poison can't de be removed because it's already been inside of me too long. And since it is laced with chakra, the properties of it aren't completely like normal poison." She blinked back the stinging agonizing tears in her eyes, "The herb that I need is just going to ease the effects in my body, whilst the jutsu will seal it from triggering anything that was layered in with the chakra." (y/n) explained. Kakashi could tell she was trying her hardest to keep her face straight, pushing back the pain and hurting inside. "The thing is–"
"What?" Kakashi asked the pained woman, his tone soft and soothing, "I can help if I know what's going on."
Warily, (y/n) agreed to speak on, "The place where the mission was stationed at was just underground of the nuke-nin outpost I was from. And the guy who poisonous me was one of the other kids' experiments were done on, along with me. He was a few years older than us, and his name was Hiroto Myoga. His parents were in owed debt to the rogues, they were forced into being test subjects until they died. Which left Hiroto in the nuke-nin's hands." She rubbed the temple of her head pushing away the images that sent a shiver down her spine, "Something similar had happened in the case of my parents and me. But unlike me, when the ANBU did the raid, Hiroto was snuck away just in time."
Kakashi's heart sank as he heard what she was telling him. (y/n) had never known much about her past, the damned curse seal had caused. “Since he was older than most of the other kids there, the nuke-nin's of the outpost decided that they needed to trust their information. It was all precautionary, just in case they were taken down. And that's just what happened. Hiroto was the one ordered to put memory restriction curse seals on us, the kids, before he fled to be underground, where the actual harm was being done. That meant that all this time Hiroto had been working in those old plans." (y/n) closed her eyes tightly, tears welling up in the corners of her eyes.
With a subtle groan, Kakashi supported (y/n) up from the chair and rested her in her cot. "Don't stress yourself, (y/n). You can just tell me later; it's getting late anyway." He told her. "It's fine, Hatake. Letting this out helps me feel better." She reassured him.
"The ANBU caught wind of suspicious activity in that area and decided to send out a squad to go check out. I overheard Danzō arguing with Lord Hokage about it, and got interested. It was really dumb, but I just wanted to go to learn more about what happened in my past. I learned, but that can with lots of twists and turns. 10 years of going undercover..." (y/n)'s (e/c) eyes met Kakashi's single uncovered black one, "It wasn't long before Hiroto became suspicious of us, slowly narrowing the group down till it was just me." (y/n) took a deep breath and continued, "After Hiroto killed himself in our final fight, my curse seal was lifted. That's how I suddenly was able to remember all of the past. All of it."
A pit formed in Kakashi's stomach as he watched (y/n) cry in silence. He wanted to help her feel better, he really did. But he was afraid that he'd make things worse; dealing with feelings just wasn't his thing. "I'm here for you, (l/n). We've been through so much together, you've helped me through it all," Kakashi tried to reassure her, "It's my turn to look after you. Please, just don't cry." He reached out his hand to brush a tear-off of her streaked cheeks.
“Are you okay with me staying here for the night?" Kakashi asked (y/n) as they sat at the bay window, looking down upon the empty moonlit streets of Konoha. The soft light cast down by the moon seemed to make everything look beautiful, serene, and at peace. "(l/n)?" He asked again, turning to look back at her. A gentle smile played on Kakashi's lips as he saw that she'd fallen asleep. (y/n) had been through so much throughout the day, she not only deserved to rest for a long time but also needed to. "Good night, (y/n)..." he carefully lifted the sleeping beauty and placed her on the cot. Sitting back at the bay seat, Kakashi took in a deep breath. "I love you."
