Nov 22, 2025
Girl math
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seen from Malaysia
Girl math
When the fic describes the fat schlong you're about to take
How Naruto men will react
if they wake up in a tent next to you?
݁.𖥔 Characters: Madara, Obito, Itachi, Shisui, Genma, Kakashi, Sasuke, Shikamaru, Naruto, Gaara
݁.𖥔 Content Warning: pre-established relationship, smut, p in v, blowjob, dry humping, handjob, fingering
A/N: @carebearcozy’s post about my request picked my interest for this scenario. Also, special credits for Kakashi & Genma’s fanart from @cuddlymaus and for Sasuke & Itachi’s fanart from @emoiover. 🫶🏽
༄ Morning Wood? Wood Release no Jutsu?
Kakashi 🍃
Kakashi’s secured hold acted like a blanket, with his toned arms covering your body and hands placed over your belly as his chest met your back. In his borderland state of mind, Kakashi’s hips rubbed against your ass. Only when you muddled murmur of your voice made him fully aware, eyes open wide.
First, he saw your exposed nape, strands of hair tickling your skin from your shoulder to your face. Second, he felt the fruitful heat between your bodies as his eyes avert down to the source of it. Fuck. He has a boner.
At that, Kakashi tried to create some distance, at least a little. He took his hands off your intertwined bodies, but just after his hand left you, it was just as fast back while you placed yours on top of his. He barely discerned your soft grumbling.
“No…Where are you going…?"
Kakashi realized you’re not even awake completely since your eyes are closed. But gradually, after the lack of his response, you felt yourself aware of your warm surroundings, sensing his rigid posture behind you.
You looked over your shoulder as Kakashi glanced back at your beautiful, strained eyes.
“Why are you so far? Come closer.”
He swallowed, licking his dry lips before his raspy morning voice made you feel dangerous things below where his hand still is.
“I shouldn’t.”
A puzzled look formed on hour face, your head turned to the side to catch a glimpse of his restrained expression. He looks so unguarded — his silver, dishevelled hair covered his bedroom gaze in his right eye, while the other was closed on his beautiful, bare face you loved to see, yet you couldn’t get use to it. You didn’t understand the want in them until you glanced down.
“Oh.” Was all you could say at first, feeling the warm spreading in your cheeks, until you added shyly. “Come here?”
Kakashi looked scrutinizingly over your features, trying to gauge what you really want, and all he was the subtle desire in your eyes.
Morning sex? Well, how could he say no to that…?
your husband had a very convenient advantage over you.
and that would be picking you up— whenever and wherever.
falling asleep anywhere other than your bed was never an issue, not with him around. because rest assured— your very strong, very responsible and very devoted husband, has made it his mission to pick up his beloved wife and deliver her to safety and comfort.
you fell asleep on the couch while reading a book or watching a movie? no problem, he had already anticipated it. cue him carefully picking you up bridal style, grip firm but gentle, your head comfortably cradled against his chest. then, he'd start walking to your shared bedroom with slow steps— but not before staring at your sleeping face for a moment with a painfully tender gaze and pressing a featherlight kiss to your temple. everytime you woke up, you would find yourself neatly tucked in bed with him holding you close to him or simply gazing at you in quiet awe, like you were the very embodiment of beauty itself. (to him, you were, even if you disagreed.)
now, that's not the only place where his strength came to use. whenever you decide to act stubborn and bratty, you'd best be prepared for a pair of large, steady and warm hands to suddenly settle themselves on your waist, hoisting you up over his shoulders like a sack of potatoes. he'd go on about his day just like that as if he didn't have a living, breathing, adult-sized human creating a fuss over his shoulder. he'll only put you down when he feels like it. or maybe if you manage to bribe him with some affection… (spoiler; it always works.)
another time would be when you're feeling particularly lazy to get up from bed in the morning. you don't want to get up? that's fine too, he'll let you latch onto him like a koala— your arms lazily looped around his neck, legs around his waist, and his hand keeping you steady while he casually takes a sip of his coffee with the other. that's his life now. happy wife, happy life.
however, there was also a time when he had you questioning your entire existence. you were standing in front of a drawer, very much distracted by an item in your hands. it just so happened that your husband needed to get something from the said drawer. his solution? extraordinary. lift you off the ground by your waist, relocate you to the side, get his drawer business done and casually go on and about with his day. you only processed this a minute later and he had no idea why you kept on staring at him like he had personally rewritten the laws of the universe itself.
long story short, he loved picking you up— even during times when it was unnecessary. why? because he simply could. and also because it was the perfect excuse to have you in his arms yet again.
♡ nanami kento, kamo choso, ryomen sukuna, gojo satoru, geto suguru, fushiguro toji (jjk), sylus, zayne, xavier, caleb (lads), wriothesley, alhaitham, neuvillette, diluc, itto, kaeya, childe, zhongli (genshin), rengoku kyojuro, uzui tengen, tomioka giyuu, himejima gyomei (kny), ukitake jushiro, kuchiki byakuya, kyoraku shunsui, kurosaki ichigo, ishida uryuu, abarai renji, hitsugaya toshiro, jugram haschwalth (bleach), hatake kakashi, uchiha itachi (naruto), your favorite.
the real reason why itachi looks so tired｡✧･ﾟ
content: naruto au, itachi x fem!reader, smuuut, rough s, riding, overstim, dry cumming, reader is a horndog, cervix hitting, etc etc etc
a/n: this kinda short and rushed ive been busy and sick 🤧
you've been clinging onto your bf!itachi for what feels like hours now. this entire night he's been pulling orgasm after orgasm out of you. you don't have a clue why you're so needy tonight, and you're not too worried about why. all you can do is keep going without any thought behind it.
right now you're on top of him, your shaking hands gripping onto the sheets beside his head. you ride him slowly, biting your lip as you feel his cock hit every single one of your sweet spots. his eyes are half-lidded as he looks at you. thank god there's a towel under you, because previous loads of cum combined with your slick drip down his balls.
"baby, you're killing me.." he mutters, feeling like this is the fifteenth round and it's not the last one. he's so sensitive now that you both came so many times in a row and he lost count at this point. "just a little more..feels so good.." you mewl, rolling your hips as he gasps from the movement.
you've drained him of so much energy but he knows he still has a bit left. after that drains too, he might just fall asleep with you still riding him. you start going faster, trying to get yourself to cum again while he pants in overstimulation.
he grabs both your hips firmly, looking up at you as your cunt clenches, feeling every thick inch of his cock. "itachi, please make me cum again.." you whimper, nails digging into the sheets as he starts to thrust up into you with all of his might.
he moves deep and fast, using all the energy he has left. he wraps his arms around your waist tightly, making sure you can't edge yourself or move so he can just make you cum already.
you sob his name as he ravages you, knowing after he makes you cum again you'll be finished for good. "this is what you want?" he says, forcing his cock so deep inside he hits your cervix and makes you shudder. he's going so fast, so suddenly that you can't even respond properly.
all you can do is cry and whimper as your pussy takes him relentlessly, sucking him in greedily every time he thrusts. your ass claps each time he thrusts up, the sound bouncing off the walls and echoing in your ear along with the wet squelching noises from your cunt.
"oh my god..yes!!" you sob, your teeth sinking into your bottom lip as you try to silence your loud, needy moans. he sits up and grabs your ass with both hands, squeezing it and holding you up. then he begins thrusting again, going harsh and rough.
he slides all the way in and then all the way out quickly, bringing you into slight shock every time he moves. your mouth falls open but you can't moan, all you do is sharply gasp and scream quietly as you get painfully close to your nth orgasm.
your back arches as far as it can and you cum, mouth grunting and your walls clenching repeatedly on itachi's throbbing cock. he stops thrusting and he slides out, placing a sweaty hand on the small of your back. you catch your breath like you just finished a marathon.
"itachi, that was.." you murmur, voice shaking and breathless. you look down to see he's soft, but you don't feel his cum leaking out of you. "did you.. dry cum?" you ask quietly, looking in his eyes which are very close to shutting. "i think.." he mutters, looking down as well. "you sucked everything out of me. i'll be asleep for a while."
"are you satisfied now, baby? need more?" he asks, rubbing his hand on your hip. you know you wouldn't deny it if he offered it, but for now you'll leave him alone since you see the exhaustion in his face and you feel a little bad for milking him dry like that.
he sighs when he remembers he has to get up early in the morning tomorrow. "you're the reason why i always look so tired," he says, a slight grin showing up on his face. "i wouldn't want to feel so weary from anything else though."
he dozes off right after finishing his sentence, too tired to even get up and clean up the mess you both made. maybe you kind of like making him sleep right after it though, it's a little bit of an accomplishment.
empress's restless nights ㅤ♡
The emperor has fallen ill! Yet bless the heavens for the kind help of the highest minister and the greatest commander, who keep the empress's broken heart (and sheets) warm!
my entry for @madamechrissy crossover event ㅤ♡
˙♡˖° pairings: ꒰ Minister!Suguru Geto x Empress!Reader x Commander!Itachi Uchiha ꒱
˙♡˖° content & warnings: ꒰ MDNI 18+ ⋮⋮ set in ancient china ⋮⋮ threesome ⋮⋮ pregnancy sex ⋮⋮ mentions of Mao Mao ⋮⋮ oral sex ⋮⋮ they talk you through it ⋮⋮ nipple play ⋮⋮ set in imperial court ꒱
˙♡˖° words: ꒰ 4.4k ꒱
˙♡˖° notes: It's time to put my degree in Chinese history to use. A few disclaimers – in ancient China, the Grand Chancellor held full authority over the administrative sections of the imperial court and was also the emperor's closest advisor. Grand Marshal, on the other hand, was the military chief and thus held authority over all matters related to the military and defence.
You can see that the reader here addresses herself at the court as "we". Ancient Chinese emperors usually used the "we" pronoun to indicate that they spoke not only for themselves but also for the heavens – since they needed to be chosen by the heavens – and the people.
If the air alone could kill the masses, all the scholars and officers of the imperial court would lie on marble, bleeding out in their own pools.
The thickness of the atmosphere was striking them cold. Sweat beading on their poor, wrinkled foreheads as they stood in two rows behind their chiefs.
Grand Chancellor, a refined young man of no more than twenty-eight, stood dressed in his silk purple robes. Wide sleeves moved gently with each of his careful movements, a jade-ornamented belt wrapped around his waist, brushed by the silky ends of raven hair. The front row of scholars saw nothing but his muscular back, a side of his handsome, pale cheek softly covered by a fan as he tried to force a shifty smile to curve on his lips.
On the other side of the court stood another man, with rows of terrified scholars bowing their heads, their small eyes fixed only on the ends of their cotton shoes.
Grand Marshal, or simply Commander, was a bit younger, just twenty-four, and still carried a handsome, boyish vigour that boiled innocently in his loins. He stood tall, with a muscular back clad in crimson clothes threaded with gold, as to show his highest military rank. The jade belt encircled his slim waist, carved with lions and beasts, as to line the fierce, brutal force hidden within his gentle face.
And then, at the end of the court, sitting high on the throne was the empress.
You.
| Avoiding their touch |
Pranking male Naruto characters by avoiding their touch.
Uchiha Sasuke
At first, Sasuke ignores your strange behavior. If you wanted to be weird, that was your headache, not his.
But when you sidestep him during a mission as he reaches out to steady you after a jump, his eyes narrow.
"What's your problem?" he asks, deadpan, stepping closer and reaching out for you again.
His hips never stopped their relentless rhythm, his thick, hard length slamming into your dripping pussy, his movements shook the bed beneath you both.
His large hand slid from your soft breast to the back of your head, his fingers tangling in your hair as he held you against the bed, making you to take his tongue completely, the relentless touch of his lips against yours. "I could kiss you like this for hours", he murmured, nipping at your bottom lip before soothing the soft sting with a sensual swipe of his tongue. "Could feast on the sweetness of your mouth, could drink down every last drop of your pleasure until there's nothing left to give"
He murmured almost sweetly. And you knew he wasn't lying, not when he looked at you so sweetly and made you feel so special beneath him.