Nov 22, 2025
Girl math
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Girl math
When the fic describes the fat schlong you're about to take
How Naruto men will react
if they wake up in a tent next to you?
݁.𖥔 Characters: Madara, Obito, Itachi, Shisui, Genma, Kakashi, Sasuke, Shikamaru, Naruto, Gaara
݁.𖥔 Content Warning: pre-established relationship, smut, p in v, blowjob, dry humping, handjob, fingering
A/N: @carebearcozy’s post about my request picked my interest for this scenario. Also, special credits for Kakashi & Genma’s fanart from @cuddlymaus and for Sasuke & Itachi’s fanart from @emoiover. 🫶🏽
༄ Morning Wood? Wood Release no Jutsu?
Kakashi 🍃
Kakashi’s secured hold acted like a blanket, with his toned arms covering your body and hands placed over your belly as his chest met your back. In his borderland state of mind, Kakashi’s hips rubbed against your ass. Only when you muddled murmur of your voice made him fully aware, eyes open wide.
First, he saw your exposed nape, strands of hair tickling your skin from your shoulder to your face. Second, he felt the fruitful heat between your bodies as his eyes avert down to the source of it. Fuck. He has a boner.
At that, Kakashi tried to create some distance, at least a little. He took his hands off your intertwined bodies, but just after his hand left you, it was just as fast back while you placed yours on top of his. He barely discerned your soft grumbling.
“No…Where are you going…?"
Kakashi realized you’re not even awake completely since your eyes are closed. But gradually, after the lack of his response, you felt yourself aware of your warm surroundings, sensing his rigid posture behind you.
You looked over your shoulder as Kakashi glanced back at your beautiful, strained eyes.
“Why are you so far? Come closer.”
He swallowed, licking his dry lips before his raspy morning voice made you feel dangerous things below where his hand still is.
“I shouldn’t.”
A puzzled look formed on hour face, your head turned to the side to catch a glimpse of his restrained expression. He looks so unguarded — his silver, dishevelled hair covered his bedroom gaze in his right eye, while the other was closed on his beautiful, bare face you loved to see, yet you couldn’t get use to it. You didn’t understand the want in them until you glanced down.
“Oh.” Was all you could say at first, feeling the warm spreading in your cheeks, until you added shyly. “Come here?”
Kakashi looked scrutinizingly over your features, trying to gauge what you really want, and all he was the subtle desire in your eyes.
Morning sex? Well, how could he say no to that…?
your husband had a very convenient advantage over you.
and that would be picking you up— whenever and wherever.
falling asleep anywhere other than your bed was never an issue, not with him around. because rest assured— your very strong, very responsible and very devoted husband, has made it his mission to pick up his beloved wife and deliver her to safety and comfort.
you fell asleep on the couch while reading a book or watching a movie? no problem, he had already anticipated it. cue him carefully picking you up bridal style, grip firm but gentle, your head comfortably cradled against his chest. then, he'd start walking to your shared bedroom with slow steps— but not before staring at your sleeping face for a moment with a painfully tender gaze and pressing a featherlight kiss to your temple. everytime you woke up, you would find yourself neatly tucked in bed with him holding you close to him or simply gazing at you in quiet awe, like you were the very embodiment of beauty itself. (to him, you were, even if you disagreed.)
now, that's not the only place where his strength came to use. whenever you decide to act stubborn and bratty, you'd best be prepared for a pair of large, steady and warm hands to suddenly settle themselves on your waist, hoisting you up over his shoulders like a sack of potatoes. he'd go on about his day just like that as if he didn't have a living, breathing, adult-sized human creating a fuss over his shoulder. he'll only put you down when he feels like it. or maybe if you manage to bribe him with some affection… (spoiler; it always works.)
another time would be when you're feeling particularly lazy to get up from bed in the morning. you don't want to get up? that's fine too, he'll let you latch onto him like a koala— your arms lazily looped around his neck, legs around his waist, and his hand keeping you steady while he casually takes a sip of his coffee with the other. that's his life now. happy wife, happy life.
however, there was also a time when he had you questioning your entire existence. you were standing in front of a drawer, very much distracted by an item in your hands. it just so happened that your husband needed to get something from the said drawer. his solution? extraordinary. lift you off the ground by your waist, relocate you to the side, get his drawer business done and casually go on and about with his day. you only processed this a minute later and he had no idea why you kept on staring at him like he had personally rewritten the laws of the universe itself.
long story short, he loved picking you up— even during times when it was unnecessary. why? because he simply could. and also because it was the perfect excuse to have you in his arms yet again.
♡ nanami kento, kamo choso, ryomen sukuna, gojo satoru, geto suguru, fushiguro toji (jjk), sylus, zayne, xavier, caleb (lads), wriothesley, alhaitham, neuvillette, diluc, itto, kaeya, childe, zhongli (genshin), rengoku kyojuro, uzui tengen, tomioka giyuu, himejima gyomei (kny), ukitake jushiro, kuchiki byakuya, kyoraku shunsui, kurosaki ichigo, ishida uryuu, abarai renji, hitsugaya toshiro, jugram haschwalth (bleach), hatake kakashi, uchiha itachi (naruto), your favorite.
the real reason why itachi looks so tired｡✧･ﾟ
content: naruto au, itachi x fem!reader, smuuut, rough s, riding, overstim, dry cumming, reader is a horndog, cervix hitting, etc etc etc
a/n: this kinda short and rushed ive been busy and sick 🤧
you've been clinging onto your bf!itachi for what feels like hours now. this entire night he's been pulling orgasm after orgasm out of you. you don't have a clue why you're so needy tonight, and you're not too worried about why. all you can do is keep going without any thought behind it.
right now you're on top of him, your shaking hands gripping onto the sheets beside his head. you ride him slowly, biting your lip as you feel his cock hit every single one of your sweet spots. his eyes are half-lidded as he looks at you. thank god there's a towel under you, because previous loads of cum combined with your slick drip down his balls.
"baby, you're killing me.." he mutters, feeling like this is the fifteenth round and it's not the last one. he's so sensitive now that you both came so many times in a row and he lost count at this point. "just a little more..feels so good.." you mewl, rolling your hips as he gasps from the movement.
you've drained him of so much energy but he knows he still has a bit left. after that drains too, he might just fall asleep with you still riding him. you start going faster, trying to get yourself to cum again while he pants in overstimulation.
he grabs both your hips firmly, looking up at you as your cunt clenches, feeling every thick inch of his cock. "itachi, please make me cum again.." you whimper, nails digging into the sheets as he starts to thrust up into you with all of his might.
he moves deep and fast, using all the energy he has left. he wraps his arms around your waist tightly, making sure you can't edge yourself or move so he can just make you cum already.
you sob his name as he ravages you, knowing after he makes you cum again you'll be finished for good. "this is what you want?" he says, forcing his cock so deep inside he hits your cervix and makes you shudder. he's going so fast, so suddenly that you can't even respond properly.
all you can do is cry and whimper as your pussy takes him relentlessly, sucking him in greedily every time he thrusts. your ass claps each time he thrusts up, the sound bouncing off the walls and echoing in your ear along with the wet squelching noises from your cunt.
"oh my god..yes!!" you sob, your teeth sinking into your bottom lip as you try to silence your loud, needy moans. he sits up and grabs your ass with both hands, squeezing it and holding you up. then he begins thrusting again, going harsh and rough.
he slides all the way in and then all the way out quickly, bringing you into slight shock every time he moves. your mouth falls open but you can't moan, all you do is sharply gasp and scream quietly as you get painfully close to your nth orgasm.
your back arches as far as it can and you cum, mouth grunting and your walls clenching repeatedly on itachi's throbbing cock. he stops thrusting and he slides out, placing a sweaty hand on the small of your back. you catch your breath like you just finished a marathon.
"itachi, that was.." you murmur, voice shaking and breathless. you look down to see he's soft, but you don't feel his cum leaking out of you. "did you.. dry cum?" you ask quietly, looking in his eyes which are very close to shutting. "i think.." he mutters, looking down as well. "you sucked everything out of me. i'll be asleep for a while."
"are you satisfied now, baby? need more?" he asks, rubbing his hand on your hip. you know you wouldn't deny it if he offered it, but for now you'll leave him alone since you see the exhaustion in his face and you feel a little bad for milking him dry like that.
he sighs when he remembers he has to get up early in the morning tomorrow. "you're the reason why i always look so tired," he says, a slight grin showing up on his face. "i wouldn't want to feel so weary from anything else though."
he dozes off right after finishing his sentence, too tired to even get up and clean up the mess you both made. maybe you kind of like making him sleep right after it though, it's a little bit of an accomplishment.
| Avoiding their touch |
Pranking male Naruto characters by avoiding their touch.
Uchiha Sasuke
At first, Sasuke ignores your strange behavior. If you wanted to be weird, that was your headache, not his.
But when you sidestep him during a mission as he reaches out to steady you after a jump, his eyes narrow.
"What's your problem?" he asks, deadpan, stepping closer and reaching out for you again.
His hips never stopped their relentless rhythm, his thick, hard length slamming into your dripping pussy, his movements shook the bed beneath you both.
His large hand slid from your soft breast to the back of your head, his fingers tangling in your hair as he held you against the bed, making you to take his tongue completely, the relentless touch of his lips against yours. "I could kiss you like this for hours", he murmured, nipping at your bottom lip before soothing the soft sting with a sensual swipe of his tongue. "Could feast on the sweetness of your mouth, could drink down every last drop of your pleasure until there's nothing left to give"
He murmured almost sweetly. And you knew he wasn't lying, not when he looked at you so sweetly and made you feel so special beneath him.
ᝰ FIRST TIME FUCKING YOU WITHOUT A CONDOM .ᐟ
⋆ ft. itachi, neji, kakashi, sasuke ⋆
master list link
blue lock version.
༝ ᭝ ༝ itachi ༝ ᭝ ༝
⇣ ༝ ⇣ ༝ ⇣
Itachi is not someone who’d be reckless with this decision.
Sure, his cheeks would turn scarlet when you ask. His head would whip to the side so fast his neck would be in danger of snapping, drawing one leg up as his entire body shifts towards you on the couch. He would slip two fingers into the collar of his t-shirt and tug, desperate for a cool breeze to tame the suffocating heat now creeping down his throat, flushing his chest.
His gaze would flicker across your face, hand resting on your thigh, squeezing once. He’d ask, “You — are you sure? You don’t want me to wear a condom anymore?” His voice would crack on the word condom and his blush would darken. Itachi would take a second to clear his throat, glaring at you without any real heat when you couldn’t hold back a laugh.
“I’m sure, Itachi.” You’d readjust your position, mirroring his, and look up at him through your lashes. “I just, I need to feel you. All of you,” you’d admit, playing with his fingers before lacing them together. The sweet heat building in your belly would remind you of the way it feels to drink a cup of hot chocolate.
Itachi’s lips would part, and you’d be certain you caught his dick jerking in his sweats. He’d make you wait until you’re on some other form of birth control. No surprise babies in this house.
Itachi would hold his breath when he pushed his latex free cock into you for the first time. His eyes would squeeze shut, a shaky exhale of your name spilling from his lips as he bottomed out and fucking came. You’d be able to feel the harsh twitching of his dick as he made you look nothing short of a cream filled donut. He’d be so embarrassed, ready to apologize, but he’d stop short at the fucked out look on your face.
The added slick sensation would turn you on like no other, cheeks hot to the touch as you begged him to keep going. He’d stay as hard as a rock, rolling you both until you’re perched in his lap. He’d draw his knees up, tangle his fingers with yours, and encourage you to “Ride me, sweetheart. C’mon, take what you need. I’ll let you use me until your pretty little pussy is sore.”
Itachi doesn’t have to tell you twice.
༝ ᭝ ༝ neji ༝ ᭝ ༝
⇣ ༝ ⇣ ༝ ⇣
Neji loves having sex with you, but he’d be a bit paranoid.
Neji’s uptight. From the outside, you’d never be able to tell how pussy drunk he gets. He’s a whiny, breathy mess any time his cock’s inside you.
However, he’d also be hyper aware he could get you pregnant if he’s not careful. He wouldn’t be opposed to the idea of having a baby with you, but he wouldn’t be ready for quite some time. He’d wear a condom, no matter how bad he wants your pussy to squeeze him raw. You’d have multiple conversations about it, convincing him to try just putting the tip in.
He’d be….hooked, to say the least. It’d be by sheer force of will that he doesn’t shove his entire cock in your pussy that first time. But, it’d also be the very next time Neji swears “just the tip”, when things spiral.
The warm ache in Neji’s belly would overshadow his concerns. He’d end up knocking your thighs further apart with his knees, bending forward and planting his elbows on either side of your head, leaving just a few centimeters between you. He’d whine, “Baby, I can’t handle this temptation any longer. Please, can I feel your pussy?”
“Fuck, put it in Neji. As long as you pull out it’ll be fine, I promise.” You’d lift your hips to take more of him before he could regret it, and Neji would oblige. Your pussy would hug his cock better than in his dreams, and Neji’s low, broken moan would light your blood on fire.
Neji would straighten up to sit on his knees, grip one of your ankles and haul your leg over his shoulder, allowing the other leg to hang loosely at his hip. He’d bend you in half to deepen the angle, hands resting by your shoulders. Just to tease you both, he’d pull out halfway and push back in at an agonizing pace.
Neji would fuck you within an inch of your life, long hair becoming a curtain that cuts you off from the world. Your nails would scratch angry pink lines down his chest, and his cock would start to throb as he toed the line of release. You’d smack his chest, reminding him with a desperate plea, “Don’t cum inside me! Neji, Neji, baby — you gotta pull out!”
He’d slip his cock free at the last second, letting your body flop to the bed as he stroked his cock. With three quick pumps he’d cum all over your belly.
Safe to say, this would be Neji’s new favorite way to have sex.
༝ ᭝ ༝ sasuke ༝ ᭝ ༝
⇣ ༝ ⇣ ༝ ⇣