Apr 23
in the category of Weird Silly Couple Shit shane and ilya develop over time, i offer the concept of Blanket Monster, who appears when one person is taking too long to put down their book/phone and the other person is ready to go to bed or knows the other person is doomscrolling hate tweets
Blanket Monster consists of one person sliding down all the way under the covers (which obviously catches the other person's attention, meaning they either start to smile or roll their eyes and start to complain) and then incrementally creeps closer with the blanket over them until they have fully covered the person under the blanket with them. it is useless to struggle or try to escape. Blanket Monster will prevail. submit and cuddle, motherfucker.
#heated rivalry#i feel like ilya starts it when shane is engrossed in his book and isn't settling down to cuddle together and sleep#but he doesn't want to tell shane to put the book down and go to bed#so he slips down under the covers and starts creeping up with them#and shane laughs and is just 'what the FUCK are you doing you weirdo?'#and laughs even harder when ilya tugs him down the bed some by his hips so he can creep all the way over him#and shane is delighted and ilya is delighted because shane is delighted#so it starts to happen again with shane eventually also doing it#and it's just a silly/playful 'i want to sleep now put your thing down'#one time though they had a bad game or bad press came out and shane is flagellating himself with news#so ilya creeps down and shane is in a mood and just 'no we're not doing the fucking-fucking blanket monster thing right now leave me alone'#he is not left alone#there is no stopping blanket monster#and yeah he does in fact feel better after he has been captured by blanket monster but he will NEVER say that#oh my GOD ilya at a lowpoint is on the couch just staring at the tv without watching#and movement catches his attention from the corner of his eye#and it's shane under a throw blanket creeping his way over the edge of the couch#because there is now Mobile Blanket Monster#and he obviously can't fucking see so he accidentally drops WAY too fucking hard right on ilya#but even with the air knocked out of him it's so silly and clearly meant out of love#so when he catches his breath he submits to the will of Blanket Monster#and somehow does feel a little bit better <3
