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Thinking about Madam Lan and ugghhggh.

She's a tragedy.

And exploring her life is done just as a means of exploring the interpersonal and intrapersonal relationships of her sons in the fandom , as how her life has impacted them and their understanding .

We don't know her name , her life or her story . Most probably she's a wandering cultivator. She's a wandering cultivator. She's offered a prestigious education which is rare as fuck and a one time moment in her life .

But . But . But unfortunately she finds herself in regards of the scion of a powerful sect and it has already been decided that her life as wandering cultivator has ended . Because she has no other choice.We never know why she killed his shifu , but even her sin does not remove her from the outcomes of her womanhood. She's taken as wife , and being in debt of the sect that spared her life despite her sin , could she have ran , could she have refused ? Running away would mean becoming a fugitive and her denial to this marriage is useless. She's wedded and bedded and she bears two sons . She's kept caged like an animal, is given little regard as a person , let alone as a mother . Her time with her sons is fixed .

The brother of her husband blames her for leading his brother astray though he's polite enough to never say it , he shows little of that contempt to his own brother. Because only a woman could be sirenous, seductive and the ill to lead virtuous men of Lan astray . She dies in captivity . She loves her sons . But her eldest looks like her husband. And as she holds her youngest in her arms , she hopes they donot become him . He has her eyes .

We don't know if she loved her husband. If their marriage was consentual. We don't know anything about her aside from the fact that she killed a man , in cold blood allegedly and is still married to the sect leader of the Lan Clan . And no one holds the Sect leader responsible for abandoning his duties, his honour, his position . No , the whole ordeal is named as "Curse of the Men of Lan " , because love is a curse . Because love led a righteous man astray . Because the righteous man did not make these descisions, these choices.

Madam Lan had no agency in these situations but the courtesy of this lack of agency is given to the Sect leader . A man . A man of power .

He abstains in the form of punishment and repentance.

He still sires two sons all while leaving his wife as a captive in his own sect . He locks himself in closed cultivation. He cares little for his sons. Was it his own choice or was it done to satisfy the needs of an heir and a spare ? Was the marriage something he wanted or was he simply protecting her ? Was this safety or just cageing her like a criminal? Was it his desire or do we have a whole chunk of the story about his shifu missing ?

He's never explicitly blamed . He's said to be under The Curse and coercion . Lan Qiren blames his sister in law just as he blames Wei Wuxian afterwards . Even after her death .

How does she died ? Killed ? Illness ? Suicide? Is there a possibility of running away ?

She's dead and haunts the story . And we still know nothing about her . Even her sons know nothing about her . Only that she killed a man . And that she loved them . And that they must , under no circumstances uphold the legacy of their parents. The sinner and the Cursed .

But which is which ?