May 23, 2020
🌻
i recently wrote a semi erotic fic of a blooming onion and i’d like to share it with you now
thank you
EDIT: how unfortunate that it ate one of my best tags so i will try to recreate it for you now
#remembered when you pick up a bottle of Ken’s Sweet Vidalia Onion dressing and study the the sweet creamy nectar of the gods within that becomes erotically translucent (then, #when you tilt the bottle) (tumblr i will not be silened)
#ches writes#anyway i've been thinking of going into writing romance do you have any tips?#idk tho i think i already hit peak performance so i guess this one will just be immortalized and remembered when you pick up a bottle of Ke#when you tilt the bottle to examine your potential purchase#and you'll think of this; not of me but of this#and frown#and debate if you really want this dressing now that you were reminded of this post#and be sore that you have to put it back today#perhaps another day you'll have healed and you can purchase that nectar of the gods in peace#but today#you must live in discomfort and resentment towards the homoerotica blooming onion you couldn't stop reading#the one that would affect the next Outback Steakhouse visit to make good on that gift card someone gave you as a birthday gift#the kind of birthday gift that's universally a crowd pleaser but distinctly says 'i don't know you well enough to find you a specific gift#a thoughtful gesture really#perhaps you're not one for steak but your date might be and truthfully the main attraction is the blooming onion#their triple threat chocolate cake alone is worthy of a plaque in the smithsonian and so how could you visit Outback Steakhouse and not hav#you wouldn't want to disrespect the person who so thoughtfully gave you this present nor would you want to dishonor the American-Aussie cui#however memories being as they are..#well..#hope it all works out for you :)#boyswanna-be-her
