#angelmum

[brit-91]

There is not a day that goes by that I don't think about you. Who you would of been, your first smile, first laugh!! I should be planning for a 3rd birthday!! I love and miss you every day. There is an empty part of me that will never been filled. My little bean...my olaf!!! I miss you.

[borntooearlyborntoosmall]

Next week is my baby girls birthday she turns 2.. she should be walking and talking She should be blowing kisses and falling asleep in my bed as I play with her long brown hair She should be here blowing out her candles while I chase her around to get family photos.. But she isn't. I will be with my family, remembering her, releasing lanterns to light the sky with her memory.

[emptypromises17-blog]

I'm sorry, i couldn't save you... My little sunshine, i deeply love you.

[borntooearlyborntoosmall]

Today is your birthday

I feel numb.. I don't want to let the emotions in because than it won't stop I'll be a mess all day. Deep deep deeeeep down I can feel the pain coming up but I'm blocking it out or maybe just replacing it with anger.. So many emotions rolled into one.. so I guess it's kinda good I feel numb.

[borntooearlyborntoosmall]

[borntooearlyborntoosmall]

[imyourfayevorite]

This time last year, was the last time I sat beside you and looked at you like I was staring at the prettiest celebrity in the world. But you were more than that, You were more than just being “Beautiful” despite of your suffering look. There I was sitting with you, talking to you by heart because you can’t speak anymore. Or maybe, You don’t even know me anymore. But my heart could feel your unconditional and never ending love for me. That moment? Priceless. I never did thought that, that lovely scenario with you was never going to happen ever again. Not anymore. For the rest of my life. What a regret, mom. I should’ve hugged you all the way home if only I’ve known that you were saying goodbye for good the next morning. Or I should’ve not gone to work that night, Or I should’ve kissed you before I left home. What really hurts now is the fact that I cannot take it back. It really broke my heart hearing dad on the other line, uttering the words “She’s gone.” You were gone mom, Forever gone. And try as I might, I can’t cry. But it seemed like my heart has turned into a little ball of sadness that dig my stomach. I was just staring blankly on the way until I reached home and You weren’t there anymore. As I entered your room with so much pain in my chest, It turned me back to reality that you already had left us. From there, I sobbed. Like a lost little girl in the middle of the dark. Time flies so fast. It’s been a year, mom. But never in one second of my life had you left my head and my heart. Your beautiful-freckled-mestiza face is still fresh in my thoughts, like I still see you everyday. The sound of your voice also plays like a broken record. The warmth i get to feel whenever you hug me tight, And the way you tuck me in to a safe and sound sleep at night. Those were the sweetest and irreplaceable things in the world. They are still intact. and never will I forget those. So let me say this for the nth time. Thank you so much, mommy. Someday we will all be in the same place. I can’t wait to hug you and kiss you a hundred times, eventually I know I will. I Love you from the tips of my toes, to the highest part of my head, and down again to the bottom of my heart. I Love You.

Carelessly made this for my angel mum. Loving her til death.