We’ve all had that moment where we downplay something that is valid, just to seem reasonable. And I had a bit of a “pick me girl” moment on Tik Tok last night.
And I want to talk about it because we all do it. We just need to stop. A guy was angry with me for ignoring GitF. One of the many reasons I mentioned is that it is out of character. The man replying to me said “what, is it because he snogged Madame de pompadour”. And I said no. I said it was about the other things the Doctor would never do. But you know what? That was me not thinking that him snogging her was a valid enough criticism and that I had to placate him. It was me trying to sound reasonable to a man instead of standing by what I felt. But it IS a valid criticism.
The Doctor is essentially in an unspoken relationship with Rose at this point. The Stone Rose where he kissed her on the lips as himself with her as herself, had taken place already. And criticizing the portrayal of a man who is essentially cheating should be a valid non laughable criticism. Especially when it is also completely out of character for the rest of the entire arc.
Women are allowed to reject media that romanticizes male disloyalty. Men aren’t entitled to our compliance in pretending it’s fine.
That episode is not, and will never be, something I consider canon. It’s easily ignored. And makes far more sense as a nightmare Rose could’ve had if anything at all. And if that makes me a difficult woman who makes “strange choices” as this man called it, so be it.
(To be clear, I am not criticizing polyamory. This man that I was trying to placate was very clearly not dismissing the disloyalty in defense of polyamory. And nothing about that episode is an example of ethical non monogamy. Which would be a situation in which all partners fully agreed and consented to the situation without coercion or manipulation).
