i don't know where i'm going with this. i might make another post in a bit about a different psychiatry thing.
my part-time job isn't giving me tasks so . do you ever think about false choices? eat your food or you'll have to drink ensure; drink ensure or we'll have to increase your level of care (<- this is a euphemism for hospital + forcefeeding). drive to the hospital or we'll call the cops to take you there. once you're at the hospital you can either check yourself in or we'll baker act you. before i went to the hospital, they asked, do you want to be alone with therapist #1 or therapist #2? shortly before i quit the psychiatric system altogether, i told my psychiatrist i didn't want to be on antipsychotics. i had been telling her this for weeks while she tried to convince me to try them. she told me i had a month to research risperdal and zyprexa and choose which i'd rather be on and come to terms with it. and then she pat herself on the back for a few minutes about respecting my autonomy because she was giving me choices and also because she didn't baker act me on the spot. it's all consensual in my records. i followed my meal plan. i drove to the hospital. i checked myself in. i've been on antipsychotics three distinct times and each time i technically agreed. they get to say i chose this. it was voluntary.
when i was in the waiting room of the hospital, my mom argued with them for hours: you say she's going in voluntarily. if it's voluntary, that means she can also choose to leave, right?
the waiting room had a locked door, because sometimes real life will just give you a piece of heavy-handed symbolism on a platter like that.
