#aplmisia

[aspec-antagonism]

aplatonic people, post more. talk about your experiences. be friendless. piss off aplmisics who think you don't count, because you do. you're part of our community, and your existence is not amisic.

[we-laid-with-it]

okay I'm gonna make a more deliberate post on the matter

aplatonic people (on any part of the spectrum tbh) are living in a world where any kind of acquaintance is automatically assumed to be their friend, "they're friendless" is considered an insult, people will see the fact you don't want friends and instead of respecting that will push even harder to "break down your walls", not having/wanting friends is seen as a symptom of several mental illnesses, etc etc repeat and repeat

obviously most of these things are not apl-exclusive experiences. amisia affects everyone, and aplmisia is intrinsically linked to amisia as a whole

but even in aspec spaces, these ideas are so prevalent and normalized. and if you ever point out how awful it is, you're the weird one, and aplatonicism isnt real, and everyone needs friends, and you're just salty about no one liking you, and you're just mentally ill, and you're pushing yourself into somewhere you dont belong (even if you are aro/ace!), and you aren't even oppressed, and you're a dirty alloromantic who will always throw their friends away, and you need to get out because you dont belong here

and it's such an Experience, you know? the whole world tells you you're broken and sick in the head for not having platonic attraction, and the whole community dedicated to being a space for people who dont feel some kind of attraction tells you you're not oppressed and that you dont belong there. god sometimes i just want to laught about "haha funny apple tonic 🍎" is that too much to ask

[solidwater05]

Hi, you should tell those apls who are telling you that where to shove it.

Aplatonic means not experiencing platonic attraction (aka rolemodels or 'girlcrushes' ect), not loving your friends is something else.

The aplatonic community has gotten infested with those people who think that not being able to feel platonic love is what it means, when being a-spec is about attraction, not about love (asexual people can obvious experience sexual arousal, aromantic people can feel romantic love/be in romantic relationships, aplatonic people can love their pets, their siblings, their friends, their family, they just don't get platonic crushes).

(but it's not surprising that those people are bullying you, they're some kind of sociopaths)

Being a-spec is only about primary attraction, not about feelings that come after. So You do belong, tell those people where to shove it.

You severely misunderstood the post. And also aplatonicism I'd say

For some apls, being aplatonic totally means not loving their friends, if they have any, and that's ok! Love isn't the ultimate emotion, and not loving someone doesn't mean you hate them or something. Love isn't required for something to be healthy or genuine.

Your distinction of love vs attraction isn't universal. For example, as an aro, I consider myself incapable of romantic love. I think that's great for me! And I can't relate to your distinction at all.

Btw calling people 'sociopaths' for not feeling love, and equating 'sociopaths' to bullies, is ableist

Nobody ever told me I don't belong, it's just how I feel as a friendship indifferent/favorable grey-apl in a space that (rightfully) emphasizes the importance of letting people be friendless in peace. Especially because when I followed apl tags, Tumblr would mostly show me nonfriending/friendship repulsed posts.

I, personally, am full of love for animals, art, hobbies, life, myself, etc. I love a lot of things and it makes me happy. But some people don't love at all and that's ok. I will always stand by loveless aspecs, and it's not cool that you're saying they're 'infesting' their own community

[apl-culture-is]

Apl culture is always being told that the lifestyle choices you're making based on your flavor of aplatonism/aplatonicism (??) (that harm no one and positively affect you a lot) are wrong because "that's not how it's meant to be" :/

.

[aspec-antagonism]

I was in a Discord server that had a lot of aces and aros talking about their experiences (it had a channel for a-spec people), but as soon as I brought up parts of my a-spec experience that weren't about my aroaceness, like my aplatonic and afamilial experiences, they were always just sort of ignored. It made me feel so unwelcome after a while that I left...

this is aspec antagonism. atertiary identities are often ignored in favor of aromantic and asexual ones. it's an unfortunate result of platonormativity and such (do we have a word for how familial relationships are pushed?).

[aspec-antagonism]

“Platonormativity was a misguided attempt to correct amanormativity.” I’m sorry, but that’s the most disgusting thing that I have ever heard in my life. Yes, romantic love is prioritized over friendships especially on a institutional level, but don’t go and tell me that that friendships isn’t valued, especially culturally and socially (arguably, institutionally considering how much psychology often publishes articles about the benefits of friendship). I didn’t went through suicide attempt because I was a “bad friend” (internalized aplphobia I know) just to be told that platonormative pressures are less severe than amanormative pressures. I got my own mental health destroyed because of Platonormativity and I’m tired of people invalidating it, especially the aspec community. I have lost any trust towards the community.

this is aspec antagonism. to say that friendship isn't valued in society is, frankly, moronic. its treated as less than romance, but its still treated as being much more acceptable than having no friends at all. hell, calling someone friendless is a common insult. i see a lot of aromantic and asexual folks placing friendship at the top of the relationship hierarchies to "fight against amato/allonormativity" when all that does is alienate aplatonic people. as a community, we need to do better. especially for people like this anon. aspec means the whole spectrum, not just bold stripe aroace.

[aspec-antagonism]

ohhghhhg,,,

god forbid aplatonics are real? you know what linking me things about why friends are NEEDED and necessary is uh…not needed at all even a little bit. i think maybe we should let people live their lives!!! you don’t have to be aplatonic or even call yourself alloplatonic!!!! no one’s gonna get mad at you!!!! you know how EASILY someone could go find some just as bigoted sources claiming you need romance,,,,,right??? also not every aplatonic is some social outcast give me a BREAK. im quite happy! without people actualllyyy!!! in fact when im around people i get pissed off more easily and its not as fun as you think. whatever,,,,people are genuinely such assholes.

[not directed at you mod. i just got some not fun anon claiming being aplatonic is amisic. as if im not very aromantic myself. like non-sam aro. then again not all my headmates are but i AM whatever though. i know people who are a thing can still be bigoted but like,,, okay bud]

that's aspec antagonism. yeah, seems like an aplmisic troll is sending hate to us. god forbid aplatonic people exist. being aspec is not aspec antagonism! this argument reminds me of the "xenogenders are ruining trans peoples' reputation!" shit. xenogender people don't make the trans community face more hate, the people sending hate are already transmisic; aplatonic people don't make the aspec community face more hate, the people sending hate are already amisic. i cant wrap my head around aplmisia, especially from other aspec folks. how is it different from aromanticism or asexuality? just like aro and ace people, apl people don't feel platonic attraction. platonormativity is just as rampant as amatonormativity and allonormativity. aplatonic people simply feel little to no platonic attraction. if you have an issue with that, you're not an ally of aspec folks. we don't want you here, and i certainly don't want you on my blog. you don't need sex to live. you don't need romance to live. you don't need friends to live. you don't need family to live. stop pushing this rhetoric. leave our community alone.

[aspec-antagonism]

someone created what i think is a side blog specifically to be aspecmisic (not sure how to call it but proace/aro and anti every other a-identity (?)) and is leading an harassment campaign in my comments because i'm aplatonic (i can't block them as their targetting my sideblog, and i haven't seen them anywhere else so i assume they haven't found another target yet, or that it was created just to hate me specifically when i'm a very small blog-). i thought it was over a month ago but they came back with the new year (literally started getting their comments again at 2am on january first....). They're vagueposting me and they've started insulting the people who try to defend me in my comments. I put a post on my blog with a screenshot so my followers could block them and not get caught in the crossfire, didn't say anything more that "this person has been saying this in my comments, you might want to block them" and now they're accusing me of harassment campaign against them and sending them thousand of anon asks telling them to kill themselves. i never did any of it. my only crime in the first place was saying "some aro people are too comfortable being aplamisic and recreating the relationship hierarchy". i didn't even identify as apla when i posted that like more than a year ago. made me relapse in my actual mental illness too so. ig i had to prove them right.

I'm tired of being told im mentally ill by members of my community. it's so fucked up. ik they don't speak for everyone in the aspectrum even if their url says they do, but it just feels like they're the one saying loudly what everyone's been thinking quietly, sometimes. I'm not saying allopla aros can't put their friends first or anything, but it's really disheartening when it's presented as like. a universal experience of all aro people. all of the top apla posts are those vague queer community posts tagged with every identity under the sun or just general aspec posts. in a place for talking about aplatonicism, you have to go down 15 posts to find apla people mentionned by name outside of lists of identities and it's just an apla people are valid post. idk sometimes i feel like we're the bad/weird kids of the aspec, and in general queer, community.

this is aspec antagonism. good god, i am so sorry that's happening to you. genuinely evil behavior from that blog. aplatonic and folks on the atertiary spectrum are constantly minimized, overlooked, and mocked as if their identities don't really count. if there's anything i or other blogs can do to help, let us know.