#aro activism

[aro-culture-is]

aro culture is wishing more people understood what amatonormativity was and how it affects so many aspects of life. I believe many people, even non-aspec ones would benefit from unpacking society's amatonormative beliefs. it shouldn't be something reserved just for the aspecs

!!!!

[redbeardace]

Another update: Minnesota today, and I missed Denver from close to two weeks ago. They join the state of Colorado, Michigan, and DC in recognizing Aro Week so far.

[theaceandaroadvocacyproject]

Creating Change, an annual queer social justice conference hosted by the LGBTQ Task Force (https://www.thetaskforce.org/creatingchange.html), plans on being much more inclusive of aro and ace folks for the 2021 conference, which will be virtual. Part of that includes videos from people in our communities answering these questions:

1) What does being ace or aro mean to me? 2) What can the LGBTQ movement do to include/support/achieve equity for ace or aro folks? 3) What would I like the broader community to know about me and others on the ace or aro spectrum?

The videos should be no longer than a minute, and will be edited together by the Task Force and then reviewed by TAAAP, AUREA, and Aces and Aros. You do not have to answer all three questions if you want to focus on one. After being approved, it'll be shown at the conference, but not made available outside of the conference.

We'd like as much diversity as possible in the responses, including diversity of ace and aro identities as well as other identities, including race, gender, and age. If you have any questions, feel free to reach out to TAAAP via this email: [email protected]. (We may not check tumblr messages promptly so we do not recommend you reach out to us there.)

Please submit your video response to us in an email by December 12! Thanks.

[bookcub]

So. . . It's aro week. . . .and well, I'm currently trying to figure out if I am aro so I thought now might be a good time to talk.

Basically, it's the question I'm sure many people are tired of hearing, so I'm only asking those who want to share.

How did you know you were aromantic?

Anything you are willing to share, as well as grey romance people are well. Please, I'm trying to figure out my feelings and talking to others usually helps me guide myself.

[arotechno]

Carnival of Aros December 2019: Love vs Radical Kindness

For this month’s Carnival of Aros topic of “Love”, I want to push the discussion a little beyond aro-specific issues and instead focus on something more broad. I’m not the first aro to talk about this by any means, but as a community our activism should focus not on redefining what love is and how different types of love are valued (though that is an incredibly important discussion), but on redefining what it means to be human.

Coming from someone who is bursting with love 24/7 and values platonic relationships in a pretty stereotypical way, that should not be the crux of aro activism, as not all aros feel that way. And not everyone shows love in normative, conventional, neurotypical ways. First and foremost, if we focus only on reaffirming arospecs’ ability to love, we will always be leaving members of our community behind. There isn’t even a consensus on what “love” really means, and yet such a nebulous concept is held up in our society as the pinnacle of human emotion.

With that in mind, something that would benefit all arospecs (and alloromantics, too) is to separate the idea of love from our idea of humanity and moral goodness. There is a prevalent idea in the world that Love Conquers All, that if we only love one another enough then the world will be a better place. But that totally ignores the fact that you can love someone and still hurt them; how much love someone is able to feel does not define their character.* We all know that love is not a choice. Kindness, however, is. While sure, it may come easier to some people than others, being kind to other people is an active choice, and in my humble opinion, choosing to be kind (Note: I said kind, not nice. The kind thing to do isn’t always nice; it can be harsh or painful and come with risks, but is ultimately the right thing to do.) is far more radical than saying the world “needs more love” could ever be.

Simply put, we are all human because we were born that way. Being human is a permanent, unquantifiable state that cannot be measured by whether or not we are capable of love, or of loving in the “right ways”. Being a good person is an active choice, not an inherent quality that can be granted to you or taken away based on the amount of love in your heart.

“Love” is out, radical kindness is in.

*Part of the prompt for this month states, “Does your position under the aro umbrella affect the way you react to generalized comments about love, such as ‘the world needs more love’ even when those comments are not specifically pointing to romance?” Reading this, I was immediately reminded of this 2017 interview with Moses Sumney in The Fader, where he explains my thoughts on this better than I ever could have in this post:

Saying the words “the world needs more love” — using those words as a political device to imply that love all round is going to produce equality — is ignorant and unrealistic. The problem with the world is not that people who are different don’t have enough “love” for each other. The problem is that the people with power insist on using it, and maintaining it for themselves. Ultimately, when people say “we need more love,” what they are telling oppressed people is that they need to love the person that’s killing them. And what do they have to gain from that? A clear conscience? Some promise that in the afterlife, after they’ve been murdered by the people taking resources from them, that they’ll go to heaven because they have warmth in their hearts? It [goes back to] what we were talking about earlier with “Quarrel” — someone can love you and still be oppressing you, still not listen to your voice. Emphasizing love is a waste of time.

[nonbinaro]

I believe, in 10 years, the wider queer community will be tackling the issues of the relationship hierarchy and amatonormativity. In 10 years, it won’t just be us aros, it will be everyone.

People just aren’t ready for it now. They don’t want to think about how they personally play into the societal structures that value romance over any kind of relationship. They get defensive and make fun of the aro folks who are tackling this issue now, using the same structures we are trying to dismantle as reasons that they are better than us.

They don’t want to analyze how their relationships are prized over ours. They don’t want to conceptualize the fact that the love the makes them happy is not universal. They don’t want to realize that romance, the love they fight for, has its problematic aspects.

I get that. I don’t blame anyone for it. It makes sense, especially considering the hardships that queer people face because of their love. I don’t mean to discount that or to say it’s not important.

So here’s a direct call to action: Wait to attack amatonormativity if you must. But if aros poking holes in the structures of romance is uncomfortable for you, don’t take your anger out on us. We are hurting too, just as much as you, if maybe in a different way. We need your allyship. We are ready, and the least you can do is not stand in our way.

In time, I believe that people will come around to the concept of amatonormativity belonging with those other oppressive forces. And when that time comes - maybe in 10 years, maybe in more than that - when the world of social justice is more prepared for this added layer of intersectionality that is ignored for now... When that time comes, don’t think you’re suddenly the enlightened ones. We’ve been saying this shit for years.

[aroace-avenue]

i have a super broad idea of aro activism. to me, any care you give or get from other people outside of amatonormative relationships, and without amatonormative goals is aro activism.

Walking your neighbour’s dog? Aro activism!

Texting a friend to check in? 100% aro activism!

Getting a ride from someone in your mutual aid group? Mutual aid groups are def aro activism

Bringing in baked good for your coworkers? both delicious and aro activism!

Learning and teaching at your local makerspace/hackspace? makes you very cool and is also aro activism!

Working with Food not Bombs? both wonderful anarchist and aro activism!

Comforting a friend when they’re having a rough time? Aro activism!

Asking a friend for help cleaning up? You guessed it, aro activism!

[nextstepcake]

Getting a head start on Aro Spec Awareness Week (ASAW)

Since I was just talking about getting ready for ASAW by stealing all the cool ideas from Ace Week things that are happening right now, I want to make a mroe specific suggestion as well: If anyone would like an easy project to start with - one of the first and most helpful things is to find a way to get aromantic activists networking and discussing event ideas all in one centralized, semi-private place, whether it’s a private facebook group, moderated subforum  (like vis/ed on AVEN - maybe see if Arocalypse would be willing to add something?), email group (we use google groups for ace networking occasionally), or even a giant shared google doc. Better yet, have more than one of the above so you can connect with more people! The main key points for a good activist networking/planning group, IMO,  are that:

1. It should ideally be closed or at least semi-private (to prevent both trolling and random distractions from people who pop in to conversations without knowing what the group is for. Also, sometimes it’s nice to not have to constantly be explaining how the sausage gets made)

2. It should stay focused on activism (so, keep a lid on other things like meme threads or personal experience threads that might fit better elsewhere)

3. Word of it should be spread around aro communtiies on as many sites as possible in order to get people to join -  It should bring together activists from many different orgs and groups. This should be a seperate layer from each orgs own internal workings.

4. While there are some joint aro/ace activism groups, I would suggest not using these - keeping the mission more specific means less sorting through irrelevent content. (maybe even consider making one ASAW specific rather than aro activism more generally) @aromantic-aurea , @aromantic-official​, @arospecawarenessweek  do you know if anyone is already working on anything like this (for ASAW or for Aromantic Activism more generally?) I’d be happy to help set things up, but I know people are sometimes wary of established ace community leaders also becoming the only leaders of aro projects, so if anyone newer would like to get the experience I think this would be a good opportunity (and I can still give advice).