The Ace and Aro Advocacy Project

Advocating for asexual and aromantic spectrum people in DC, Maryland, Virginia, and beyond.

[theaceandaroadvocacyproject]

Our Book is Out!

We are thrilled to announce that our first book is out, published by Jessica Kingsley Publishers! This book is the result of a lot of collective work in order to create a thorough informational book that goes well past 101 material. You can purchase the book from a bookseller near you or at our Bookshop page: https://bookshop.org/p/books/ace-and-aro-journeys-a-guide-to-embracing-your-asexual-or-aromantic-identity-the-ace-and-aro-advocacy-project/18972871?ean=9781839976384

We are having our first book launch event on Sunday, May 21st, at Busboys and Poets Takoma in Washington DC. You can sign up to attend in person or view the livestream here: https://www.eventbrite.com/e/ace-aro-journeys-a-busboys-and-poets-books-presentation-tickets-621223886367

[Image Description: The first image reads “Hot Off The Press! Ace and Aro Journeys is now published! We are so glad that our first book, a guide to understanding and embracing an ace or aro identity, is now available for purchase. Buy it from your local bookstore or request it from your local library!” Pictured is the front of the book, with arrows of various aspec identity flags on it, and the title "Ace and Aro Journeys."

The second image reads “Ace and Aro Journeys. Join us for a deep dive into understanding and coming into your own ace or aro journey with several authors from The Ace and Aro Advocacy Project. Sunday, May 21, 2023, 5 PM, Busboys and Poets Takoma. For more information go to busboysandpoets.com/events.” Pictured is the front of the book, with arrows of various aspec identity flags on it, and the title "Ace and Aro Journeys." End ID.]

[theaceandaroadvocacyproject]

April Pride Chats

The server will be opening in early April for International Asexuality Day! We’ll leave the server open from Friday, April 5th at 10am Eastern to 11:59pm Eastern Sunday, April 7th. (That’s 3 PM GMT Friday through 5 AM GMT Monday the 8th)

Although it is IAD, we welcome aspecs, ace or not, to join us.

Request to join the server here. Our form was recently updated, so if you applied within the past few months and did not receive an invite please submit again! We are also in the process of cleaning up the backlog of server invites - thanks for holding tight with us through these technical difficulties.

[theaceandaroadvocacyproject]

ASAW Pride Chats

February is a special month, as it includes Aromantic Spectrum Awareness Week! We’ll leave the server open from Sunday, February 18 at 10am Eastern to 11:59pm Eastern Saturday, February 24. (That’s 3 PM GMT Sunday through 5 AM GMT Saturday)

Although it is ASAW, we welcome anyone, aro or not, to join us. Also, you can obviously feel free to expand beyond the topics posted each day – this is meant as a useful starting point.

Request to join the server here.

[theaceandaroadvocacyproject]

Hello everyone! We wanted to do a piece talking about the intersectionality of disabled and aspec identities and experiences - does this ring true to your experiences? What did we miss? Info on the images are written out below and included in alt text.

[Text reads: July is Disability Pride Month. Let's discuss Disability and Aspec Identity. While individuals may be both aspec and disabled, the two groups also have many similarities outside of people who exist in both. Ableism and aphobia, while both robust issues on their own, have intersecting pain points. Ace and aro people may be accused of being "sick" or "unnatural", and in need of a cure. Simple existence is conflated with suffering, and some people may be more invested in "fixing" aspec people rather than accepting them.

The idealized future - long life, independent living, marriage, children, etc - does not necessarily leave room for people in these groups. Disabled and aspec people can definitely have wonderful futures, without adhering to ableist and amatonormative notions of what a future should look like. Both groups are frequently treated as an afterthought in the realms of legislation/political advocacy and community care*. *A great time to remind y'all that we are still in a pandemic. Wear a mask.

People who are both disabled and aspec may deal with the added stress of stereotype threat*. Stereotype threat is the anxiety and stress that comes from possibly confirming a negative stereotype about the demographic one is apart of. Stereotype threat may arise due to the stereotype that disabled people are not suitable for romantic and/or sexual relationships, or due to the stereotype that asexuality and aromanticism are signs of illness or dysfunction. *Stereotype threat can occur to people of any minority demographic - age, race, gender, orientation, etc.]

[theaceandaroadvocacyproject]

A reminder to all - Pride includes all of us. The acronym does not stop at LGBTQ! The first step to celebrating Pride Month is to acknowledge all of us and our identities!

[ID: “Pride Inclusion. Pride includes everyone who is a gender, sexual, or romantic minority - that means anyone who is not cisgender, hetero, allosexual, alloromantic, and endosex/perisex. If you are celebrating Pride and the LGBTQIA2+ community, make sure to support and include everyone of all the different identities! The first, easiest, and most basic way to support us is to recognize and acknowledge all of us and our identities.” Pictured are the Gilbert Baker Pride Flag, the traditional rainbow flag, the Philly Pride flag, and the intersex Progress Flag.

The second image lists multiple flags. These flags are: lesbian, bisexual, queer, intersex, asexual, nonbinary, pansexual, genderfluid, gay masc, transgender, questioning, agender, aromantic, Two Spirit, polysexual, genderqueer. End ID.]

[i-am-a-megalodon]

since tomorrow is international asexuality day

shoutout to sex-favorable aces, sex-neutral aces, and sex-repulsed aces. shoutout to demis, grays, cupios, frays, and everyone else in that gray area of the asexual spectrum. shoutout to aces who are still in the closet, aces who are feeling impostor syndrome about their identity, and aces who are out and proud. shoutout to aromantic aces and romantic aces; homo and hetero and bi and pan aces and more. cis aces, trans aces, nonbinary aces...

all flavors of aces have my respect. you all are valid and you all deserve respect.

[gottakickitupanotch]

And on that note: happy international asexuality day!

[kateammann]

Happy International Asexuality Day!!! 💜🤍🖤

[captdedeyes]

HAPPY INTERNATIONAL ASEXUALITY DAY!!

[theaceandaroadvocacyproject]

Happy International Ace Day! We uploaded part 2 of our Sex Averse and Repulsed Ace Experiences to our website. Some quotes from the article are featured in the images above, and you can read the full thing here: https://taaap.org/2023/04/06/sex-repulsed-and-averse-aces-part-ii/

Not all aces are sex averse or repulsed, and you can read about ace experiences with sex and/or kink here: https://taaap.org/2021/10/28/ace-week-21-aces-sex-kink/

We hope International Ace Day ‘23 has treated you all well!

[ID: Both infographics have the title “Sex Averse and Repulsed Aces Part 2″ and feature black text on a light lilac background. There are 2 quotes on each. The first reads “Oftentimes, I feel that we as an ace community are hyperfocused on trying to appease the outside allonormative world to the extent that we alienate sex-repulsed & sex-averse people like me.” -- Tyger Songbird. “I think every allo person can think of someone they can’t possibly imagine being sexually attracted to, ever, and just having to imagine being near their naked body makes them want to run away. I want them to know that that’s how we sex-averse people feel about *everyone*. It’s not an opinion nor a political stance, nor something we can toggle on and off.”-- Vivi.

The 2nd reads “I want nothing to do with it. I wish I could go about my life without constantly being reminded of it by peers and by society at large... I understand it's a biological need for most people and indeed most living things that reproduce sexually, but it's not so essential or inherent that an individual is less than for not associating with it whatsoever, whether for reproduction or recreation.” -- Daniel. “In general, my gut reaction to sex is to be disgusted. I have to mentally steel myself for sexual content before I can enjoy a sex joke, read fiction with sexual content, etc. or I will automatically recoil.” -- Amaranthe Rae. End ID.]

[theaceandaroadvocacyproject]

Aromantic Spectrum Awareness Week Chats

Hello all! Our Discord server is open all of this week in honor of ASAW and will be closing Sunday evening at 11:59 pm Eastern time.

Each day of the week we will have a different aromanticism specific topic, with Sunday being a free day. If you join today, the topic is Amatonormativity and Societal Stigma/Pressure. The chats are open for anyone regardless of romantic orientation or lack thereof, the focus this week is simply on our aro peers.

If you’d like to join the server you can DM us or fill out the form here: https://taaap.org/pride-chat-registration/ . Please allow us up to 12 hours to respond. We host a Pride Chat every month in the server generally during the last weekend, but will honor special community events such as ASAW.

[Image: Colored block text that reads “TAAAP Pride Chats.” End ID.]

[theaceandaroadvocacyproject]

This week we’re highlighting the history of some common terminology in the aro community!

[ID: 3 images with the headings “History of Some Aro Spectrum Terminology” and graphics of cartoon style people holding up various flags - the Gilbert Baker rainbow flag on the first the grayromantic flag, and the quoiromantic flag on the second, and the aro allo flag on the third. 

The first reads “Wtfromantic was coined in 2011 by Sciatrix in response to pressure from within the ace community to identify with a romantic orientation. Many did not feel that romantic orientation was relevant to their identity or that the concept of romance was not applicable to them, in a way that the alloromantic/aromantic binary could not capture.”

The second reads “In 2012, Cor suggested the term “quoiromantic” as an alternative, as it was easier to pronounce and convenient for those who didn’t want their identity label to contain a swear. The label expanded over time to also represent people who could not tell a difference between platonic and romantic attraction.”

The third reads “Around 2018, “aroallo” and “alloaro” began to rise in popularity, being shorthand for aromantic and allosexual. This was connected to continued growth of the aro community and the ensuing increase in need for aro spaces and resources that were not also for asexuals. As aromanticism became better known, more people began to identify as aro without having ties to the ace community, and aroallo people became more vocal about their need to not be lumped in with asexuals.” End ID.]

[theaceandaroadvocacyproject]

For Black History Month here in the US, we wanted to touch on a few ways that African American and aspec identity can intersect. Today, as a kick-off to Aro-Spec Awareness Week, we focused on aromanticism - stay tuned for infographics about asexuality! Description below.

[ID: Two images with the heading “Blackness and Aromanticism.” The first one has a muted red background and graphics of two dark skinned people with longer hair, one holding a grayromantic flag and the other holding an aroallo flag. This image reads “ African bodies are often hypersexualized, in that they are seen as deviantly and dangerously sexual and threatening to societal standards around family and sexuality. Aromanticism often gets judged as emotional coldness or sexual manipulation, so black aros may feel a double jeopardy around how they interact with sexuality.”

The second image has a gold background, and a graphic of a dark skinned person holding an aromantic flag. This image reads “African Americans are often stigmatized as unable to form healthy families. This stereotype is bound up in a history of African family dynamics being different from the Western nuclear family, and African American families often being separated due to slavery, incarceration, and/or other colonial factors. Being aromantic may mean wanting a family or relationship that is non-normative. For black aros, there may be shame and isolation around wanting something that supposedly reflects badly on African American heritage.” End ID.]

[theaceandaroadvocacyproject]

December Pride Chats

Hello all! This month Pride Chats weekend overlaps with what is the holidays for many people - in lieu of a formal topic, we invite you to come and talk about whatever you would like! We will have one channel designated for seasonal discussion while all other channels will be open for whatever else is on your minds. Hope to see you there!

We will be opening at 10:30 am Eastern on Friday morning and closing at 11:59 pm Eastern on Sunday evening.

You can join the server by popping over to our website or DMing us - we prefer to keep the link non-public for safety purposes. 

[theaceandaroadvocacyproject]

I experience attraction to a lot of people of any gender expression. I get crushes and feel romantic feelings, but I have no interest in sexual activity with any of them. I like the idea of sex but not the reality of sex and sexual activity. I prefer to be alone in bed. Does this mean I am ace?

Hello! As always we like to preface with the disclaimer that no-one can decide your label except for you, and we can only provide opinions based on what we've seen in the community and our own experiences.

It sounds like you are romantically attracted to people of any gender and not sexually attracted, so labels like panromantic, asexual, biromantic, and alloromantic asexual ("allo ace") might be useful for you! I have heard other asexuals say that they are ok with the idea of sex up to the point of having to actually do it - this likely has to do with our own willingness to be open-minded and curious, but ends with our own physical instincts and desires (well, lack thereof) winning out.

[theaceandaroadvocacyproject]

In honor of Lesbian Visibility Day, we published an article on the experiences of ace and aro lesbians and lesbian-aligned people. Thank you to everyone who contributed, and please feel free to add more! Full article here: https://taaap.org/2022/04/26/lesbian-aspecs/

Tagging our contributors from the Tumblr space: @urpurplehairedsage, @alextown, @someweirdoartist

[ID: 2 inforgraphics with quotes. “Aspec Lesbians. “I feel far more connected to the lesbian label than I do to the community; as an aspec lesbian, some of the most virulent acemisia I have received has been from cis zedsexual lesbians. That has made me less than enthused about trying to join lesbian communities.” - Amaranthe Rae. “There are a lot of stereotypes about female friendship and patriarchal society tends to invalidate w/w relationships if they don’t have sex. We are not “just friends” just because we don’t have intercourse.” - Tefa.

“There is no right way to be a lesbian, and complexity of labeling does not mean confusion or lack of experience.” - Mel. “It’s interesting, for me these two parts of myself pretty much go together. I couldn’t really talk about my aromanticism without mentioning my lesbian identity, or vice versa. They have a synergistic relationship.” - Y. “I wish allo people knew that not every aspec lesbian is the same. It truly is a huge spectrum and each person’s experience will be different and unique.” - Lucia.”

[theaceandaroadvocacyproject]

Today, on International Sex Workers Day, we are posting about the experiences of ace and aro sex workers. Thank you to all who shared their experiences!

The graphics below feature some quotes from our article, but there’s much more: https://taaap.org/2022/06/02/aspec-sex-workers/

[ID: Aspec Sex Workers. “Just because I’m asexual doesn’t mean that sex work was traumatizing for me. Sex work was a revelation for me. Doing my ideal work, I had a lot of control over who I saw, how much I wanted to be paid, and what my expectations were. I was able to have boundaries, clear, firm boundaries, in a way I didn’t feel safe in my personal relationships having boundaries.” - Kitty Stryker. “It can be a struggle to assert my own needs when they conflict with clients’ desires. It also makes it harder to find people who’ll pay for my services since I’m much more narrow in what I’m willing to do compared to many other sex workers.” - Alice.

Aspec Sex Workers. “There are many different types of sex work and different people have different needs, wants and limitations.” - Destiny. “Aspec communities could better support me by continuing to remind themselves that sex and sexual attraction are two different things. As are kink and sex or sex work and sex. We just need to keep differentiating between things that society keeps trying to group together.” - Amber. “The main way I would like to see aspec communities better support me is to invite us to speak. Normalize us (and not just the slender, cis and white among us, but all of us)!” - Kitty Stryker. End ID.]