I just remembered how hard I use to project onto Logan. I was so emotional about it and it seems silly now but it makes sense considering Sanders Sides was a big part of how I accepted being aroace. I also remember not being sure how Logan would react to Character Thomas' romance with Nico and I'm so glad his lack of understanding-romance has stayed consistent. It just means a lot to me!
It's Valentine's day! And as an aro tumblria, of course I'm trying to make the aro and aromantic tags trend, so please send me headcanons, fic requests, moodboard requests, anything aro related and I'll post it today!
Summary: Logan always assumed because they’d felt attraction before he couldn’t be aro. When a poetry discussion with Roman gets diverted onto types of attraction they start to change that thought.
/\/\
Attraction is weird. It's spoken about in so many bizarre ways that Logan is convinced society is trying to avoid anyone figuring out they might be aromantic or asexual. They'd spent years wondering if he could be aro but dismissing the idea purely because they know what attraction felt like and experienced it relatively often without the desires for romance that Patton had once described coming with a crush.
They were only illuminated to the nuances of attraction during a poetry discussion with Roman. Logan had been aware for a while that Roman is more intelligent that the needless singing originally had them believing but it was an interesting time to get revelations over how many types of attraction there are.
“For such beautiful words, I would give my all to a woman like this.” Roman sighed as they discussed an Emily Dickinson poem that Logan had been struggling to understand the sentiments of.
They had blinked for a moment before stating, “Roman, you are gay. Why are you implying some poetic words would attract you to a woman?”
“It's not romantic attraction, Logan. Clearly it's not, but are you saying you've never spoken to someone and just wanted to be around them more, or seen someone and without any lust or desire wanted to know them?” Roman exclaimed, forehead creasing when he registered their processing face.
They only replied a few moments later. “I thought that is just what attraction is. Do you mean that there are different feelings to the attraction if it's romantic?”
“Yes.” Roman nodded, lips pursed and debating. “What experience with attraction have you had?” He asked cautiously as if unsure the question would be welcome.
It made them thing carefully for a while, curious and concerned over being able to describe the attraction they had felt. If it hadn't been some level of romantic or sexual attraction, then what might they class it as? “That man from your theatre group; I was attracted to him for the reasoning traps and attentiveness that was needed to hold a conversation without being made a fool of. Oh, and I was attracted to Emile for a while, though that was short lived given his propensity for cartoon references. It was his intellect and knowledge of psychology that attracted me then.” Logan began explaining, trying to remember other occurrences of attraction.
“Intellectual attraction then. I'm not sure how I'd label an attraction based on poetry, like the one I referred to for Miss Dickinson, perhaps charismatic.” Roman suggested, nodding. “If it's not prying, have you actually wanted to date anybody before?”
Logan paused again, feeling like everything Roman was saying gave them a cause for self-evaluation they hadn't been away needed doing. It was frustrating to be asked this specific question though, simply due to how close it came to their revelation over there being different types of attraction. “I don't know!” They snapped, scowling, “How do you know about this?”
“Remus got fascinated by tertiary attraction a while back, left a few google searches open on my laptop after stealing it which I read through. He's now decided to make jokes over any type of attraction he feels being sexual.” Roman easily replied, shrugging a little as if that wasn't a big deal, “Besides, I've been trying to figure out the types I feel most often.”
They nodded, taking a few deep breaths since the attempt to make it a fight wasn't risen to. “That seems to be a reasonable decision. I'm going to endeavour to interrogate the attraction I experience from now on, but had not understood there are different types of it prior to this conversation.”
Roman nodded again, eyes tightening a little as he looked Logan over before offering, “Would you prefer if we refocus on Dickinson's poetry?” He offered.
“Of course, thank you.” Logan agreed, looking back to the book between them. “I have to say, these likes don't seem loving, despite the poem being reported as a love poem. They seem more to describe symptoms of indigestion.”
Roman leant back, hand to chest as if scandalised. “How dare you! Those are describing the nerves of getting your heartbroken.”
By the time Logan reached home that evening, their head was still spinning with thoughts of attraction and desire. They'd barely taken in any more knowledge or ideas about poetry from the discussions with Roman but for the first time weren't bothered over that. The afternoon was far from wasted when Logan had learnt such important information.
They might soon be certain over a label to use other than queer and it was more than likely to be aromantic.
Logan wasn't known necessarily for his ability to communicate his emotions.
He preferred working with facts, numbers, absolutes that could be proven without a doubt not just to himself but to others as well.
But as much as he claimed preferring numbers, he had feelings as well.
Logan felt a lot of things. And he felt them intensely.
For example when he was with them. Their sarcastic and dry humor that made Logan laugh despite his best efforts not to. Or their sleepy, tired hums of acknowledgement when he'd talk about (no, Logan did not ramble, thank you) his project early in the morning.
Or when they were distracted and they'd lean up against him. Like now, with their their torso pressed against his back while their thumb flew over their phone screen, either texting someone or looking up information.
Knowing them, they were looking up a meme to send someone.
Logan felt emotions swell in his chest, overwhelming him until they were bubbling up his throat threatening to choke him, drown him in them until he figured out an outlet to drain them.
"I love you."
Their thumb froze in place, and then Remy was moving, pulling themselves off of his back, leaving a terrifying chill in their place and he had to fight back a whine because that was undignified. Didn't matter that he craved their contact like flora craved water.
"Hello? Sweets, you in there babe?"
Logan was suddenly, painfully aware that he'd been so caught up mourning the loss of their contact he'd missed what they said.
"Seeing as how I cannot possibly leave my own body, I'd say so."
Remy lifted an eyebrow, the brown interrupted by a clear line before ending at the corner (an eyebrow scar, they'd called it) visible above their shades.
Logan almost wished he could see their eyes, get lost in the pale brown, the color of ice coffee full of cream. They were sensitive to light though, and Remy rarely took off their glasses unless they were about to go to bed.
"You know what I meant, hon. That was one'a the expressions we worked on when we first met. Now, you wanna tell me what brought on the love business?"
Logan ignored the heat rising to his face, watching Remy's for a moment.
"...You know I don't mean romantically."
"Given neither of us are all that into romance, no."
Logan huffed a short laugh, unable to help the small, amused smile in response to their quip.
"But I do love you. Are you... familiar with queerplatonic feelings?"
Remy eyed him for a moment, quiet but considering.
"...Yeah. Kinda like a toss up between platonic and romantic love right? Like... I wanna hold your hand but if you even think about kissing me I'm backin' out type'a thing?"
Logan laughed again. Remy always managed to make him laugh the easiest.
"In a sense for some people, I suppose. I think that about fits how my ideal relationship with-"
He stopped, his face flushing hotter.
Remy waited patiently, but when Logan didn't continue, was clearly too flustered to continue, they lowered their sunglasses and looked him in the eyes with a small, reassuring smile.
"I love you too, sweets. Now can you stop being all mushy on me so I can continue with my "annoy V with monkey memes" agenda?"
This time when Logan laughed, it was out of relief and mild confusion.
"Why monkeys?"
Remy grinned at him, slipping their sunglasses back into place.
"He called me an ape man."
(For @sleepless-in-starbucks for being there for me a lot this month during my harder times and never failing to make me laugh. You may not think so, but I think you're a genuinely amazing and kind person)
summary: I based this off this post by @today-only-happens-once featuring Aro!Logan trapped in a tower, and eventual QPR Logince
word count: 6,712
warnings: homophobia, crying, I think that’s it but if I missed anything please let me know
a/n: so this ended up way longer that I thought it would ever be but im really happy with it. I had a lot of fun writing this. Thank you Grae for letting me write this, I hope you like it!
Logan looks up to see his father enter his room and sighs.
“Why would you scare her away like that?! I know you aren't like that normally and she’s a very nice lady!”
Logan sits up straight and looks his father in the eye, “Veronica is boring and we have nothing in common. A marriage between us would never work.”
The king starts pacing, “Gosh, Logan, I know you have high standards son but come on! If you’re going to be a good king one day you have to settle down with someone! You’ve read the history books, they're the one thing you like. You know that all the unmarried kings of our kingdom were horrible and went ballistic and threw the country into a downward spiral and I will not let you end up like that!”
Logan takes a deep breath, “Father, you know I would be good at ruling. I am level headed, skilled in war tactics, knowledgeable in economics, and good at negotiations. What standards do you have that I do not meet to be a good king?”
“You are not married! You will need a wife to keep you stable.”
“I don't want to be rude but-”
“Then don't.”
“You have to understand that i'm not just gonna marry any person that walks through those doors!”
The king storms out of the room and Logan lets himself fall back on his bed with a groan. He can't take another day of awkward suitors who don't even like him and make him uncomfortable.
Later that night Logan is pacing in his room talking to a strange man in a big dark cloak with a large walking stick, “You need to go talk to him tomorrow. You have to convince him that this is a good idea. He is upset I didn't want to marry Veronica, it’s the perfect time to persuade him.”
“Are you sure now is the right time?” the man asks leaning heavily on his walking stick
Logan crosses his arms, still pacing,“It has to be, he has to be willing to do this. If not I will run away and this will happen anyway, but I do hope to get his approval on it so my mother is not so worried when I disappear. I mean, I would leave a note, but still.”
The man shifts, “I understand, Prince Logan. My parents were undoubtedly upset when I left, but seeing as they were looking to get me hanged I don't think they minded all that much.”
“Sorry if i'm intruding but why did your parents want you gone?”
The man moves the large stick into his other hand, “Let’s just say I have a preference for princes.”
Logan nods, “I see. If i'm being honest, even though i've never felt... attracted to anyone before, i'd say I do as well. Princes are much more tolerable and interesting than their female counterparts.”
The man sits, “I'd have to say I agree. But tell me, really, has no one struck your fancy?”
“Not in a way that is any different than friendship. No. Though you probably don't believe me.” Logan sighs finally stopping his pacing to take a seat at his desk next to the man.
“No, I believe you.” He assures Logan
“Really?”
The man sighs and turns to Logan, “I believe I understand you better than you think. Let me guess, you don't like anyone romantically. You would rather a person, if you were to have to live with them, fit the qualifications for a friend than look attractive. Attraction is something I would believe you find to be arbitrary and confusing. You would rather just be friends with someone than be in a romantic relationship and you hate that you are being forced into one. Am I correct?”
Logan blinks and gawks at him, “How? How do you know?”
The cloaked man chuckles, “I've arranged for at least a hundred members of high ranking families to take advantage of my services in an attempt to avoid marriage. Do you really think you’re the first and only person who has ever felt the way you do?”
Logan sighs, “I suppose that it would make logical sense that I am not alone. It’s kind of nice to know.. But enough about me, you remember the plan?”
“Yes.”
Logan nods, “Well then be ready tomorrow, because I'm not staying here being pestered with questions of marriage another day.”
“You have the plans I asked for?”
“I do.”
“Give them here,” The man demands extending a hand, “I will make arrangements for it to be set up. Be sure not to pack before the decision is made or people will get suspicious.”
Logan gives him the papers, “I understand.”
The man leaves in a puff of smoke and Logan sighs. He walks over and collapses onto his bed. He falls asleep hoping they can pull this whole thing off.
The next morning the King takes a meeting with an old man, a known sorcerer with a black cloak and a large staff, “Your majesty, i've heard your son has had a difficult time finding a suitor he approves of.”
“You could say that,” the king shrugs, “I’d say it’s more like he is being downright rebellious.”
“Well, Sire, I believe I know of a solution that could work to benefit you both. One that could help Prince Logan find a suitor he approves of.”
The king leans forward slightly, “... Go on.”
The man shifts his weight to lean on his staff, “Well, most people assume that when princesses and princes get locked in towers that they don't choose to be there, however that is rarely the case. Many princes and princesses come to a decision with someone like me. They decide to have the child locked in a tower, by someone like me who provides them with food and the like. The parents then claim they were kidnapped and say that whoever saves their beloved child can have their hand in marriage. Towers are often personalized so that the person who ends up doing the saving is someone suitable to the child’s preferences. And tada, the child gets married with no complaints.”
The king nods, thinking it over, “That is... smart. But I doubt I could get my son to agree to such a thing.”
“So you agree you would be willing to make an arrangement?”
“I would.”
“Then why don't we ask your son what he thinks?”
The king turns to one of the servants, “Bring Prince Logan down to see me please.”
Logan enters the throne room and takes in the scene before him, masking his excitement.
“Son, meet Virgil the Mysterious.”
“Good morning my Prince.” Virgil says with a small bow.
The king smiles, gesturing to Virgil, “He has a proposition to make. He thinks he knows about an arrangement that might work to find you an... acceptable suitor.”
“And just what might that be?” Logan asks crossing his arms.
“I place you in a tower where I supply you with your daily needs, food, water, letters from your parents, and the like. The tower would be... personalized with different traps and such that potential suitors would have to pass to get inside. You would of course have a say i'm what those are so that the person who “rescues” you will be someone you approve of. And if you at any time wish to leave because you have figured out who you want to marry and no longer require the use of the tower, that is easily done.”
Logan blinks and runs a hand through his hair, “You’re suggesting that you lock me inside a personalized tower and that whoever saves me can marry me. And the steps required to get inside are actually going to be test to make sure they’re a person I would approve of?”
“Yes, precisely.”
Logan frowns, “Father, are you serious?”
“Yes. The alternative is you stay here and we continue this search for suitors that we have been on for the past year in the same fashion as always.”
Logan slowly turns to face Virgil, “... You said I can leave the tower and come back at any time if I change my mind?”
“Yes of course,”
Logan thinks for a moment, “I’ll do it.”
The King smiles, “Really?”
“Yes father. I assume this happens soon?”
Virgil shrugs, “It can happen today if you can be packed by tonight.”
“I can be packed in two hours”
“Well then, today it is.”
Logan goes to his room and begins packing. He is soon joined by Virgil who shuts the door behind him.
Logan turns to Virgil, “I'm so glad that worked. This will be much easier than sneaking out would be!”
Virgil smiles, “I am glad that it worked out as well. I would hate to have your dad coming after me for taking you away.”
Logan snorts, moving his clothes from his dresser to a bag, “He wouldn't come after you, it would be my mom you would need to be worried about. So anyways, where is this tower i'm going to be staying in for what is hopefully a very long time?”
Virgil sits on a stool in front of Logan’s vanity, “Well, i'm going to be magicing us there but on horseback, it’s at least a three day’s ride. We will have a week to get your tower set up and for you to get comfortable.”
Logan frowns, “Do we need that much time?”
“For you to help me set up those complicated puzzles, yeah. We need a week. Honestly we might need more.”
“They aren't that complicated.”
“One of your riddles asks what the scientific name for a tomato is. I don't even know what a tomato is, much less the scientific name for it!” Virgil huffs.
“Okay, perhaps some of them are a bit much, but honestly. I just want to make sure that whoever saves me is an interesting person and has some similar likes to me.”
“That’s fair.” Virgil shrugs.
Two hours later Logan is standing in the middle of his room, bags in his hands and a backpack on his back ready to go.
“Do you want to say goodbye to anyone before we go?” Virgil asks.
Logan is silent for a moment, “I would like to talk to my mother, she should be in here soon-”
Logan is interrupted when his mother the Queen bursts in.
“Oh there you are Mother. I was expecting you to come a bit sooner.”
“Logan dear, why? Why are you doing this? I don't want you to leave me.” She exclaims, upset.
Logan sets down his bags and takes his mother’s hands in his, “I won't be leaving you, Virgil promised he can be a letter carrier for us, we will still talk. As for why, you know I do not like any of the girls father has chosen for me.”
His mother sighs, pulling away, “Yes but if you are locked in a tower princes will come after you. You would not want to disappoint them.”
Logan mumbles, “I’m sure some of them will be disappointed, but maybe I wouldn't mind a marrying a prince.” He doesn't dare look his mother in the eye.
His mother huffs, “How dare you. You have embarrassed me enough by choosing to go off to this tower over choosing to settle down, but this..? How could you dishonor us like this?! You are a disgrace. I'm glad I won't have to see you again for a long time.” She stalks out of the room, slamming the door behind her.
Logan flinches at the sound, his legs giving out as he drops to the floor.
Virgil slowly approaches and sits in front of Logan, “You okay?”
He ducks his head and closes his eyes. Logan gives no response.
“It was brave of you to tell her.”
“I thought she might’ve-” Logan’s voice breaks and he chokes back a sob.
“You had hoped she would be more accepting.”
Logan nods.
He sighs, “I understand, but now we need to get out of here. We don't know what she might say, or who she might say it too.”
Logan sits up and takes a steadying breath, hoping Virgil won't notice the tears on his cheeks.
Virgil stands and offers Logan his hand, “I'm sorry, Prince Logan, but it is no longer safe for you here.”
Logan takes his hand and stands. He grabs his bags and takes one last look at the door. He sighs, letting a few more tears fall, “I'm ready to leave.”
Virgil grabs Logan by the arm and the next thing Logan knows his vision is clouded by smoke and he feels as though he is falling. When he feels his feet hit the floor, he opens his eyes, they are standing in a clearing in front of a large stone tower. There is a wooden table on their left which Logan assumes is for planning out the tower’s puzzles.
Logan stares at the tower, saying nothing, just making mental note of its size.
Virgil, assuming the silence means something is wrong asks, “What, do you not like it?”
Logan shrugs, “No, I like it, it is just larger than I had anticipated it being.”
Suddenly a person comes running up to meet the pair, “Oh hey boys, i'm glad to see it all worked out!”
Virgil clears his throat and gestures to the man, “Logan, meet my husband, Patton.”
Logan shakes Patton’s hand, “Oh, uh, hi. I didn't expect to get to meet you, but it is a pleasure.”
Patton smiles at him then turns to Virgil, “Oh, Virgil, You didn't tell him?”
Virgil shakes his head spreading Logan’s tower designs over the table, “Not yet no. We were busy talking over the design of the tower and the different puzzles and such he wants.”
Logan frowns, “Wait, tell me what?”
Patton smiles wide, “I’m a shapeshifter!” he says throwing his arms out wide, “I can change into any form I want! And i'm going to be your dragon!”
Logan blinks, “Okay, wait what? My dragon? What does that mean?”
Patton shrugs “Well, towers tend to be guarded by dragons or surrounded by a moat or something, right. And because we couldn’t find an open tower with a moat, you get me, your guard dragon!”
Logan nods slowly, still a little unnerved by the chipper man in front of him, “Oh, I see.”
Patton takes a bag from Logan “So,I hope i'm not intruding, but what makes you feel like the tower is a better option for you that staying at home?”
Logan shrugs, “Well,I don't like anyone romantically, never have. I guess I just have really high standards. And I prefer princes to princesses.” Logan raises a hand to his cheek, wincing at the feeling and pulling away.
“Considering the mark you got there, I take it that didn't go over well.” Patton remarks with a frown.
Logan shakes his head sadly, “No. It went over worse that I had expected.’
Patton nods, “As far as not liking anyone romantically goes, I have a few theories as to why that might be.”
Logan arches an eyebrow.
“I heard you like books and research.” Patton says with a small smile
“I do.” Logan admits.
Patton takes the jar, “Then I suggest considering taking a look into aromanticism. All one word, no dash after the a or anything. You might find it helpful.”
“And how exactly am I supposed to be able to do research from inside a tower?”
Virgil speaks up from his place at the table, “You will have access to my library. I will set up a system with you. Before you go up you choose about five books take them up to read. I’ll take your requests and input and provide you with more when you finish them. I can start with giving you some books on Aromanticism.”
Logan smiles, “That... that sounds like a fantastic arrangement.”
Patton smiles grabbing another one of Logan’s bags, “Why don't we go up and work on setting up your room with your things?”
Logan nods, grabbing the rest of his bags and slinging his backpack over his shoulder.
Logan looks around at the room, it was, decidedly unremarkable, but Logan was happy with it.
Patton places his bag down and urns to look at Logan, “I know this room is not as nice as your old room, we simply can't afford to keep these towers super nice. I hope it isn't a huge deal-”
Logan shakes his head, “I like it. It is nice. It is plain, simple, I can organize it however I desire and there are no unnecessary items anywhere. It has good light, a clear view of the stars, think I will be very happy here.”
‘I'm glad, you’re most likely gonna be here for a while.” Virgil says, Logan is unable to tell if he is actually happy or is being sarcastic, but he doesn't much care either way.
“So, how about you explain the puzzles to me so I can build them?” Virgil suggests, laying the papers out on the table in the middle of the room.
Three days later the puzzles are in place and Logan places the last book on his desk with a smile, “There, i'm completely unpacked.”
Patton claps, “Yay! You seem happy with everything.”
“I am. I am very happy to have a place to myself. If I am being honest, I am glad to be away from my family right now.” Logan admits sitting on his bed.
Patton frowns, “Do you want to talk about it?”
“I guess it couldn't hurt.”
“Well then, why don't you wanna be at home?”
Logan sighs, “The last thing I did before leaving was come out to my mother. I don't know if she ever told my dad. If she did, I am certain he will react worse than my mother did, and that was bad enough. I don't know if I can ever go home and face them again. Not when I left like that.”
Patton moves and sits next to Logan, “You mean... You left right after the argument?”
Logan frowns, “Well it wasn't much of an argument. I told her. She lectured me about how much of a disappointment and disgrace I am to the family. She slammed the door behind her. I left a note on my desk saying we left and then we left.”
“It was brave of you to tell her.”
“Maybe it was, but I wish I hadn't.”
Paton nods, “I encourage you, read those books about aromanticism, it may help you make sense of some of what has brought you here.”
Logan nods, “I will.” he says as Patton leaves.
He grabs the book and sighs. He doesn't really feel like having a big moment right now, but it’s the middle of the day and he is bored and has nothing better to do. So he opens the book and starts reading.
“This book is about aromanticism, and I figure, if you’re gonna read about it, I should explain what that is. Someone who is aromantic doesn't feel romantic attraction towards anyone of any gender. Now i bet you’re wondering what romantic attraction is, well don't worry, that’s what this first chapter is all about.”
Logan becomes engulfed in the book and in twenty minutes he has read half of the first chapter. He sets down the book and thinks over what he has learned, writing it in a journal.
“So aromantic is where you don't feel romantic attraction towards people. And romantic attraction is where you have a desire to be in a romantic relationship and actively wish to do romantic things with them.
I..... I don't think ive ever felt that before. I..... I think i'm aromantic. That... that would explain why I never had crushes on anyone growing up and why i never really cared about marriage and... oh wow! This explains everything.”
Logan stares at what he wrote, a small smile on his face as the reality of what he just realised hits him. He isn't just choosy with his relationships, he doesn't just have high standards, he isn't broken or missing anything, he’s aromantic.
In a burst of excitement Logan spends the next few hours reading the rest of the book. When he finally finishes it, he sets the book and stares off a the wall. He just took in so much information that he doesn't know how to process it all, but what has sunk in has hit him like a punch in the stomach.
He is aromantic. He feels so happy but he feels like he could throw up at the same time. His head hurts but he thinks he could run laps around his room and not be tired afterwards. He sits and thinks it over, trying to imagine what he would want in the future, what kind of relationship he would want, what kind of house he would live in if he didn't live in the palace.
That night Virgil visits him, he appears in a puff of smoke by the window and Logan looks up from his seat at his desk.
Virgil holds up some papers, “Your mom insisted I bring you her letter. I haven't read it, but if it’s anything like the awful stuff she said to you earlier I will gladly burn it in my fireplace.”
Logan takes it from him, ‘Thanks Virgil.”
Virgil frowns, “Hey Logan, you seem a bit... off, you okay?”
Logan smiles, “I’m fine, I just read the book on aromanticism and i'm still processing it all.”
Virgil nods, “Well, okay.”
Logan looks at the papers in his hands, ‘I don't know if I can look at these right now. Could I read them later and give them to Patton or something if it’s awful?”
Virgil shrugs, “Sure, I won't rush you to open it. Whatever works. ”
“Is there anything else? Did... did my father say anything?” Logan asks.
“Your father.... He did definitely say some stuff. The summary of it is that he knows you like guys and he doesn't exactly approve.”
Logan sighs.
“I asked him what I should have you do if a prince is the one to rescue you. He said he refuses to marry you to a man. If that ever changes, I will let you know.”
The next day Logan decides to open the letter from his mom. He reads the first sentence and sets the letter down with a groan and a sigh.
“Hey Patton.” Logan calls, hoping he will hear.
Sure enough Patton appears at the window hovering on a pair of wings, “Yes Logan, is something wrong?’
Logan frowns at the letter, “Can you, umm, can you breathe fire?”
“The letter is that bad huh?”
Logan nods, “It’s worse.”
Patton grimaces, taking a seat on the windowsill, “Well i've never tried breathing fire before, but I am willing to give it a try.’
“Well, just don't hurt yourself.”
Patton nods, closing his eyes in concentration, Logan watches, but nothing visibly changes.
“Okay give me that letter and let’s see if this works.”
Logan hesitantly hands it over.
Patton takes it leaning backwards out the window. He turns to the side. He puts the paper in front of his face and takes a deep breath. As he breathes out they are both delighted to see flames come flickering out of his mouth.
The parchment catches flame and burns quickly. When it is all but a stub Patton lets go watching it fall and burn up in the wind.
Patton sits back up and gives Logan a small smile, “There, now you never have to think about it again.”
Logan frowns, but now what do i do if someone saves me? I can't go home.”
Patton shrugs, “You never said you were going to go back to your home, you could always go to theirs.”
Logan smiles, he likes that idea.
His father never took back his sentiment on gay marriage, so Logan is not worried when he realised when one year has passed and not one suitor has stayed after hearing that Logan is a man. Logan is content with his life in the tower, studying the stars, writing, journaling, and researching. He has grown to love the solitude.
One day Logan is journaling by his window when he hears a strange noise.
Logan looks up as he hears a voice calling from outside.
“Come out my darling princess,” the voice says, “show me your face that I may know who I am saving and so you may see the face of your rescuer, Prince Roman!”
Logan sighs, another suitor, this Roman fellow will probably leave as soon as he realises Logan isn't a beautiful princess, but he might as well know now. Logan sticks his head out the window, “Oh, good prince, I am not a princess but a prince. It has been decreed by my father King Cedric that whoever rescues me from this tower is the person I am to marry. If you aren't interested please, leave and find your princess and your happily ever after. If you still desire to save me, I wish you luck as the evil wizard who locked me in here has riddled the path to me with traps and tests.”
Logan pulls his head back inside, sitting back down to his work startled to hear the response, “Oh my dear sweet prince, I will do all I can to save you. I swear on it!”
Logan freezes for a moment before answering, “Doesn't it bother you that I am a man?”
He hears Roman give a hearty laugh, “No, believe it or not, i'm gay.”
Logan is pulled out of his shock and he looks out the window again, this time looking down at the man, “Prince Roman, I do believe we have that in common.”
Roman smile up at him, shading the sun from his eyes, “Well, that is great to hear. What is your name, oh beautiful prince?”
Logan rolls his eyes, “I am Prince Logan.”
Roman smiles, “I have heard of you Prince Logan. I did not know you like princes.”
Logan lets out a sigh, “Well I would rather you not spread it too far, there are people at home who do not know.”
Roman nods, “I understand and I won't tell a soul. Though, I think you should know, back in my kingdom, they do not hate people like us. We are accepted and viewed as equals.”
Logan leans on the windowsill, head in his hands, “As much as I desperately wish to believe what you are telling me, I find it hard to even imagine a place like that.”
Roma shrugs “Perhaps when I save you, I can bring you back to my kingdom so you don't have to imagine it.”
Logan nods, “Perhaps you may, but it is dark and I insist you leave. Go back to your camp or your home, wherever it is you came from. you can start on the puzzles later when you aren’t so tired, I will see you when you come back.”
“But Logan, how do I know you will be here when I come back?” Roman asks
Logan sighs, “You are the first one to stay after I announced that I am a man and not a princess, you have no competition.”
Roman smiles, “Well that is good to hear. I will return in two days time, and then I shall return with all the supplies I may need to save you from your prison.”
Logan smiles, “I look forward to our meeting again.”
“So long my fair prince, until I return.”
Logan waves and closes the window with a sigh. He had hoped to remain in the tower for more than just a year, but he is glad to know that when... if he gets out of here, there is a place he can go and be accepted.
When Roman shows up two days later Logan goes around to the back of the tower where Patton is waiting to show himself.
“Now,” Logan mutters.
Patton nods and Logan sees him fly straight up, and feels the tower shake a bit, he assumes Patton has landed on it.
“Who are you, that you seek to take this man from his cage?” Patton roars.
“I am Prince Roman. I seek to save Prince Logan from his solitude and bring him back to my kingdom, a place where people like us who like people who are the same gender as us are viewed and treated as equals.”
“So you do not wish to marry the prince?”
“Well, I can’t answer that yet, I don't exactly know him.”
Patton nods, “Those are good answers. I will let you be in your quest to save Logan, though, be mindful, I will not be so kind to any friends you may bring with you. This quest is for you to complete on your own.”
Roman smiles, “I am up for the task!”
Patton leaves and Roman spends the day trying to solve all of the puzzles, but he can't even get past the first one.
The days go by and Logan and Roman talk while Roman works, discussing their interests and families and swapping stories. Logan does take breaks to read and journal and such, but they spend a good amount of time getting to know one another. This goes on for a long time and Logan begins to grow fond of this prince fellow who calls him by every nickname imaginable from Lo to Specs to Teach. He rolls his eyes at the theatrics Roman will put on for him whether in frustration at the puzzles or just to entertain him, but he smiles all the same.
One day, Logan is sitting at his desk rereading the book on aromanticism again, more out of sentiment than anything else. He had memorised it long ago, but reading it again brought him peace.
Logan jumps, dropping his book as he hears a noise at the window. He watches as an arm clings to the windowsill. He realises with shock, that Prince Roman just climbed in through his window.
Logan stares as dread settles into the pit of his stomach as he realised he is going to have to marry this man.
Roman looks up at Logan panting at the effort of climbing through the window and sighs, “It was proving impossible to get to you the normal way, so I climbed. I got to ask, why all the puzzles, Specs?”
Logan shrugs adjusting his glasses, “If I have to spend my life with someone romantically, I at least wanted to make sure they’d be an interesting person.”
“Do I qualify?” Roman asks raising an eyebrow at Logan.
Logan nods, “I guess you do. I mean you got in here, didn't you?”
“I did get in here.... wait, do you not want to get married?”
Logan frowns, “When did I ever say that?”
Roman shrugs, “Come on, Lo, you seem hesitant about it.”
Logan sputters, “I mean a romantic relationship, especially one that is intended to last one’s entire life is a big deal and a big decision and-”
Roman groans, “Oh my gosh, Logan! What is it? Why don't you want to get married? I'm not gonna be offended if you would rather get to know me better first or if i'm not your type or whatever. Please just tell me. I am not going to force you to marry me if you don't want to.”
Logan sighs deeply, looking down at his feet, “It’s complicated.”
Roman slowly steps towards Logan and takes his hand, “Well, no one knows I made it up here. We have all the time in the world. So please, just sit, take your time, and tell me what's bothering you.”
Logan walks with him to the end of the bed and sits. There is a long moment of silence.
“I don't know how to do this.” Logan admits.
“Well, what are you doing?”
“... coming out.”
Roman stares at him for a moment before relaxing into a kind smile, “Hey, it’s okay. I promise i’m a safe person to come out to. I’ll listen and do my best to ask questions if there is something that I don't understand. And don't worry, I get it, coming out is hard, especially if you haven't done it before. So, just take your time to get your words together and we can do this when you’re ready.”
Logan nods. He sits and thinks over how he wants to say it, how he wants to direct the conversation, how to even get to the topic in the first place. Does he want to just tell him and explain after or guide the conversation and bring him to the subject?
Logan sighs, “So, how knowledgeable are you with LGBT identities?”
Roman considers it, “I would like to think i'm fairly knowledgeable.”
“Okay, have you heard of Aromanticism?”
Roman makes a few strange thinking faces, “If I have, I don't remember it.”
Logan nods, “Okay, umm, have you heard of asexuality?”
Roman thinks for a moment, “Yes, I believe so. Is that where you’re not attracted to anyone physically”
Logan nods, “If you mean sexually, then yes.”
“Cool, glad I knew something.”
“Yes, well, aromanticism is similar to asexuality. You see, someone who is aromantic doesn't feel any romantic attraction towards anyone of any gender.”
“Cool. i'm learning a lot. Why are you telling me this?”
Logan sighs, “I know I told you i'm gay, but that isn't exactly true. While I do have a preference for men, I am aromantic. My attraction is more emotional and aesthetic than romantic, or even sexual.”
Roman blinks for a second, “Oh, okay. Oh.... OH so that’s why marriage is uncomfortable for you.”
Logan nods “Yes. That’s why I am uncomfortable with the idea of being in a traditional marriage.”
Roman frowns, “Does that mean... you don't want to be in a relationship with me?”
“Now see, this is where things get complicated. Because actually Roman,” Logan admits, “I would love to be in a relationship with you, just not a typical romantic one.”
“Okay, i'm lost.”
“That’s okay. Can I explain?”
Roman nods.
“Feel free to ask questions if you need.” Logan clears his throat and sighs, “A queerplatonic relationship, or a QPR for short, is a relationship that is based on attraction that isn't romantic. It may or may not include feelings of sexual attraction and may or may not include elements of physical intimacy depending on the people in the relationship.”
Roman raises his hand and Logan chuckles, “Do you have a question?”
“Yes,” Roman answers putting his arm down, “Are you saying you would want to be in a QPR with me?”
“Yes Roman I am.” Logan says with a small smile.
Roman smiles, “I, I kinda like that. That sounds nice. What, what were you thinking that would look like?”
Logan smiles, “I'm glad you are okay with the idea. As far as what a relationship between us would look like, it’s hard to say because i'm not sure what your boundaries are and what you’re okay with.”
Roman frowns, like... physical boundaries or like? I'm not sure what you’re asking.”
“Oh, well, for example, i'm comfortable with the idea of kissing, but only sometimes and probably never with tongue. I am comfortable with cuddling as long as there isn't the pretense of it leading to anything more because honestly I don't know my boundaries with that. I uh, I would prefer that we hang out in more of a friend type context without the pressure of big romantic gestures-”
“I, umm, I would like to spoil you every now and again if you would let me.” Roman admits.
Logan considers that for a moment, “Okay, well, I'm okay with romantic gestures in private but in public it starts to feel weird for me, so i'm fine with being ‘spoiled’ as you say, but just, not in front of others.”
Roman nods, “Can I go?”
Logan smiles and sits back, gesturing for him to speak.
Roman fiddles with his hands in his lap, “Well, I do like kissing, but I don't like kissing with tongue either so I think we’re both good there. Umm, cuddling is great, I love cuddling. As far as more intimate physical things go, I think we would agree that we can address those as they might come up, right?”
Logan nods, “I do agree.”
Roman sighs, “Would you be willing to act more romantic in front of like, parents and stuff?”
Logan nods, “Where it is required, at parties, whatever wedding type ceremony i'm sure we will have to have, that sort of thing sure. I'd just rather not have to put on a show of it like that everyday because that could get... difficult and would be rather uncomfortable.”
Roman nods, “okay, yeah. That... sure.”
Logan smirks at Roman’s loss for words.
Roman blushes, “Is it okay if I tell you I love you?”
Logan blushes this time, “oh, umm, i... yes. Yes.”
“Will you say it back?”
Logan nods, “I will.” He moves his hand and places it on top of Roman’s. “It may not carry the same romantic association as when you say it. But know that I mean it sincerely and completely when I tell you, I love you.”
Roman smiles and looks down at their hands, “I like this.”
“So do I. I just want to clarify something, Roman.”
Roman looks up to meet his eyes.
“I will do my very best to communicate my boundaries, my wants, and my needs in this relationship. Please, I ask you to do the same. Tell me if you don't like something, would rather do something different or if you want to try something new. I want this to work as well as possible, and that can only happen if we talk to each other.”
“Okay. I will. And with that, I have a question.”
“What is it?”
“Can I hold your hand and stare into your eyes more often?”
Logan blushes and smiles, “I would like that.”
They sat there for a moment, just staring at each other. Then Roman shifts to face Logan a bit more. “Before I help you pack all of this stuff up, I have one more question.”
“Yes?”
Roman blushes a bit, “What does it feel like for you? This... us, because when I look into your eyes it’s like my stomach explodes in butterflies I feel nervous and joyful all at once. I want to treasure you and keep you safe and make you feel special every day. I feel like I could take on a whole army at once if only you asked me to.”
Logan smirks, “I wouldn't ask that of you, Princey. I want you to be here with me, not off fighting some random army.”
Roman snorts, “Fine, I won't go off fighting an army, but will you answer my question?”
“Yes, of course I will, but I can't guarantee you’ll understand.” Logan says with a small sigh
Roman shrugs, “Just because I don't understand something doesnt mean I can't accept it.”
“Well, okay. Umm, when I look at you, I feel an emotion swelling in my chest. It’s a happy warm comforting feeling. I, umm, I feel overwhelming happiness and peace when i'm with you. I care for you so much, I don't know what to call that except love. I love you, in my own way. And I... I would enjoy sharing my life with you.”
Logan smiles as he sees a blush rise on Roman’s face.
Roman sputters, “i.. Thats.. Thanks... how am I supposed to respond to that? I thought I was supposed to be the romantic one!”
Logan laughs, “I suppose you are, sorry, i guess next time I won't try to romance you since it’s your thing.” Logan jokes.
Roman crosses his arms and sticks his tongue out at Logan.
Logan smiles, “Now come on and help me pack up my stuff, drama prince.”
does anyone know if there are any fics with a side (probably logan)being aromantic but not asexual? so like the side would be allo-aro/ homosexual-aromantic? I feel like I've read something like this before but I can't find it
Hi uh.. could I order one litho-ace Logan that gets a crush on Roman and wants to spend all his time with him but gets confused with romantic feelings (for full projection reasons) uh thanks *runs*
Summary: Logan has been having very complicated feelings for a very long time. It all comes to a head, but perhaps not the way you expect.
Notes: This seems to have drifted in a slightly different direction than I was expecting. Oops? Hopefully it’s still enjoyable! I project onto Logan quite a lot, which might make itself obvious here.
Warning: Some internalized ableism? I’m not sure, but better to be safe than sorry
Logan had been thinking, lately. This wasn’t particularly unusual for him, obviously, but he was considering subjects that he had pushed to the back of his mind for a long time. They were topics that, at the time, he had deemed either irrelevant or too emotionally charged for consideration. But now that the Sides were becoming closer and more tight-knit as a family (or famILY as Patton had managed to rope the others into calling it), they had started to come up again.
Logan had never been especially… normal, even for a Side. He was aware that he struggled to connect emotionally and socially, and that he had other habits and traits that might seem… odd. He had difficulty reading facial expressions, tones of voice, and other forms of nonverbal language. He was sensitive to overly bright lights and the textures of some foods made him want to vomit. Logan kept to a strict routine, and deviation from it would result in… complications for the rest of the day (or sometimes week).
He had always had a sense of isolation from those around him. This was related to his difficulty with social cues, but not completely. As Thomas, and therefore the Sides, had grown up, Logan found that he was not experiencing things that it seemed the majority of others did. At first, he attributed this to being a Side, but after hearing Patton gushing about his various crushes on people of all genders, he was forced to reevaluate this conclusion. He found himself feeling more and more cut off from the others in an (eugh) emotional sense. It only seemed to get worse as they got older. It didn’t help that the other sides teased in what was surely meant to be a playful manner about how robotic he could be.
Logan had done research, of course. He had found words that described him, and why he was the way he was. He was just… hesitant to actually use them. They might be applicable, might explain things that he had been desperate to find answers for all his life, but he just… couldn’t. Because if he did, then that would make it real. Logan knew it was irrational, as he had always felt this way. It had always been real. But putting actual words that made sense to it, somehow that was both worse and better. At least there was a word, he wasn’t just some kind of freak anomaly, but having a word brought with it… expectations. Baggage. Stereotypes, in some cases. That was complicated, and emotional, and as Logic, not something he wanted or should have to deal with. And yet, staring at his laptop screen at these blog posts, he wanted it. Logan longed for that sense of belonging, of acceptance, within some group. He could at least admit that to himself.
Everything came to a head one day. Logan had been working late into the night in a habit that he chastised in the others but regularly indulged himself. Do as he says, not as he does. Regardless, he was operating on suboptimal amounts of sleep, and as such was slightly… prickly. Everything was too much. The kitchen lights, which were normally a tolerable brightness, seemed to stab into his eyes. The sound of silverware scraping plates was like nails on a chalkboard. And his normal morning meal of toast with Crofter’s was suddenly completely unpalatable. After breakfast, Logan retreated back up to his room, fending off well-intentioned but grating concern from the others. He shut his door, locked it, put his hands over his ears, fell to the floor, and started rocking back and forth, humming to himself. Within a few minutes, he felt steadier than he had in days. In this moment, Logan knew that he couldn’t keep ignoring this.
He practiced saying the words. He would stand in front of the mirror and repeat sentences to himself, scripting conversations in his mind (how had he never noticed that he did that?). Logan also worked on referring to himself and his actions with specific vocabulary as well. This was mostly internal. There’s only so much time a non-actor can spend talking to themselves in front of a mirror before it starts getting weird. Nevertheless, he was making progress. On what, he wasn’t entirely sure. Self-acceptance? Confidence building? Whatever it was, he was becoming more comfortable referring to himself as aromantic, asexual, and autistic. There were still areas of uncertainty. For instance, gender was still a mystery, but it was one that Logan was in no hurry to solve. He had enough on his plate at the moment, thank you very much. And besides, pronouns and such had always been a non-issue. Logan was perfectly fine the way he was. He very much hoped the other Sides would agree.
