Summary: Roman has issues with love, and end up setting a boundary with Patton after countless times of love being declared making him hide flinches
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Love: The word made his skin crawl, even more than being called a gorgeous girl had once done. He was coming to despise hearing it, the more it was thrown around.
His mother now claimed that his dreams of being the Prince in Disney films meant that he wanted to find love. His relatives often sighed over how unfortunate it was that his dreams of true love hadn't succeeded yet.
Even worse was that it was becoming a bigger issue rather than smaller since he'd brought his own apartment.
Something had put the idea into Patton's head that his love for his friends must be constantly expressed. Roman was trying to pretend that he didn't want to flinch away each time there were declarations of love thrown out in response to any kind gestures and had, from the start, hope that replying with comments about caring a lot or feeling connected to Patton would encourage a change in the statements too.
What happened to people saying “I care about you”? It was a phrase that needed to be brought back; caring without loving, kindness without that oppressive term everyone had somehow decided to use which to Roman only spoke of control or assumed influence. Where else had reasoning like “I'm doing this because I love you” come from?
It was all he could see love as now. Familial, romantic, platonic, all forms of love that he'd seen used to control someone or had people try to use to control him. Some of that he knew was because their parents relationship was anything but healthy and movies are trying to tell good stories not show good relationships, but he couldn't help that hearing someone declare love had his guard rocketing up for the time they try to push him into something he doesn't want using that reasoning.
Once, long ago, he'd told this view to his older brother, Logan and had been told he doesn't see it like that. The explanation of what Logan does see love as left Roman bewildered and feeling like he'd heard a story from an alien planet given just how different their views of love are.
If the world ran on love then most of the time Roman was happy being loveless, comfortable in himself and with his friends.
That fell away when in response to making Patton a cuddly kitten toy Roman was sat listening to a tirade of love, both for him and the item and had to focus everything on not scowling. It was harder since he'd been so absorbed in sewing the night before that he'd gotten very little sleep. “Hey Pat? It's great you like the toy so much, seriously I'm glad because it took a lot of work, but can you, I don't know, change to other words if you're directing them at me? Ones other than love?” He asked, reaching out with one hand to tug on the ear of the toy as he spoke.
“Why? I mean what I'm saying.” Patton paused, confused and serious now, matching Roman's mood.
“It – it kind of makes my skin crawl and-” Roman sighed, uncertain now he had to explain it since this wasn't something he'd brought up to others before. Most people he knew weren't as effusive as Patton. “-love kind of sounds like attempts to control to me, mostly when said between people.”
Patton nodded, pausing to think for a moment. “Is that why you always say things like you care about us, or feel connected to me to when I've been saying things like that? I thought you were trying to make sure I knew this friendship wasn't romantic.” He asked.
“Yeah, I don't want the give and take control of love, even platonic love but I do care about you and all our other friends so much.” Roman nodded, letting his hand be taken when Patton reached out.
“Then I care about you a lot, Ro and am going to look after this kitty so I can cuddle it for years to come.” Patton agreed, curling around the toy with a smile.
Roman smiled back, glancing through to the kitchen. “And I care about you too. Want to make the sandwich cookies we planned to now? I'm sure kitty can watch from the table without getting messy.”
That got Patton jumping up and hurrying through to the kitchen before pausing. “One quick question, if love makes you uncomfortable, what does that mean for any relationships you might get into?”
“I'm not looking for any relationship other than friendships, Pat. I identify as a loveless aro and have definitely told you the aro part before.” Roman reminded gently, unsurprised that it had been forgotten momentarily.
“Oh, cool. Friends forever and you can rely on ours to carry on.” Patton agreed, beaming as he turned back to the kitchen.
So... I listened to "sounds fake but okay" on Spotify and skipped when they did an episode about s*x.
And I doodled our favorite commentator sides which my headcanons coincidentally correspond kinda with the people talking since one is demi i think I headcanon Virgil as asexual and the other is aroace I headcanon Roman as it
And really, it just discusses asexual problems and stuff like that! I like it!
