#asexuaity

[fuckyeahasexual]

[rosie-anon]

Graves (Newsies) coming out as asexual to a supportive reader (can be romantic or platonic!)

The words tumble out of Graves’ mouth and as soon as he’s said it it’s like a weight lifts off his shoulders, but you’re still a little behind.

“Ok,” you say slowly, “and that means...?”

“Oh, right,” he laughs nervously, “it means I’m just not into people like that. Ya know...sexually.” He goes quiet again and smiles nervously. “Is that ok?”

“Yeah, yeah, of course it is!” You say quickly, not wanting him to get the wrong idea. “Hey, you know t didn’t matter to me who you fell in love with, why should it matter to me whether or not you wanna sleep with anyone at all?” You smile and the smile he gives you back is so much more relieved.

“Thanks, it’s...” he sighs and smiles again, “it means a lot to me to hear you say that.”

[trakkidakattack]

physical attraction what?

Friend: I just don't see myself, y'know, with this guy. I'm just not attracted to him THAT way. And you just can't be with someone if you're not attracted to them.

Me, an ace: oi

[thors]

Hey all! If you’re looking for a stupid ace/aro video from an ever more stupider ace/aro person, I made this video! It’s not as deep as it sounds, tho. Mostly positive stuff. Not getting into too much drama. I’m not the offended culture type, so you might even enjoy it. Might delete later idk.

(yes I realize people are gonna come after me b/c this is tumblr.)

[anotherwellkeptsecret]

Ohh my god, that last ask about demisexuality not being a sexuality probably came across as really rude because I forgot to say that that's just my opinion and I was interested to hear yours because I just can't reason it out to myself how it could be the same thing at all as other sexualities. I sometimes come across a bit blunt. I didn't mean to come across preachy or anything, I'm really sorry if you were offended

Oh my goodness, no! You’re okay!

Demisexuality is on the ace spectrum, which is as wide and varied and confusing and complicated as the sexual spectrum. Someone who identifies as demi has no sexual attraction to others unless a serious bond is formed between them and another person. Which sounds like...a lot of people, right? 

Kinda. Not really. I don’t personally know the statistics, but let me put it this way. I’m almost thirty years old. I have never found anyone sexually attractive. I’ve found people aesthetically attractive, yes, and have been romantically interested in people a few times (twice!), but I’ve never been sexually attracted to them. I haven’t ever wanted to sleep with anyone. But I’ve never been more than a good friend, or someone who’s developed a crush on someone else. 

I have formed some pretty intense bonds over the years. Still don’t want to sleep with any of the people I have those bonds with. Even if that bond is in the romantic arena. Even the man I asked out about a year ago. Don’t want to sleep with him.

I think...I think I have to be in love. Like, head over heels madly deeply in love. And a love like that would take a long, long time to cultivate. A LONG time. I would have to trust that person. Absolutely, completely, 100%. And that’s my I-don’t-know-where-on-the-ace-spectrum-I-fall talking. 

Is it still possible I’m demisexual? Yes. I would imagine so. I’ve still never been in love, and until I fall in love, I lack data. Are all demis the same? Will all aces or demis feel the same as I do about something like this? Probably not. I can’t speak for everyone. 

But I think...what people mean when they say ‘a bond has to be formed’, I think it’s something more than friendship or romantic feelings. It’s something so much deeper. 

That’s not to say someone who falls on the sexual spectrum...that it’s unheard of for them to experience sexual attraction only after getting to know someone. I think it’s just a...certain level of getting-to-know-you thing. I’m not the one to judge where the line is, though.

[ace-reporter]

Lara has always thought this is a silly argument, why can’t allies and aseuals have their own letter and what is wrong with sharing one? There aren’t enought queer people to be arguing over silly things like this. Why let social conservatives and other bigots drive this wedge between us? It’s bad enough people are already trying to separate the B and the T from the acronym and they have gotten far more attention than the people making this argument on Tumblr.

[ace-reporter]

Lara’s going to apologize for the audio quality on this one. She used her nextbook, and the heater kicked on while she was recording.  The computer wouldn’t recognize the Blue Snowball she plugged in.  In any case, she will continue this in an effort to make the new Asexual Nws website more accessible than the old one.

[insanelymeandering]

A Message about Asexuals:

They belong in the LGBTQ+ community because, while they do not face the same level of discrimination as other members, they are still in the minority and need the support that the community offers.

If they are heteromantic, they still belong in the LGBTQ+ community because they are part of the asexual community and therefore belong in a community centred around sexualities/gender identity.

They live in a highly sexed up world. Where seemingly everything is sexualized. This makes a lot of them VERY uncomfortable.

WE KNOW THAT WE HAVE IT BETTER THAN MOST PEOPLE IN THE LGBTQ+ COMMUNITY.

They are asked the same stupid questions that everyone who is not straight is asked.

THEY BELONG IN THE LGBTQ+ COMMUNITY BECAUSE BEFORE I KNEW WHAT ASEXUALITY WAS, I FELT LIKE THERE WAS SOMETHING FUNDAMENTALLY WRONG WITH ME. I FELT LIKE A FREAK BECAUSE NO ONE TALKS ABOUT ASEXUALITY DESPITE THE FACT THAT WE MAKE UP 1% OF THE POPULATION.