#ask2tag

[elhnrt]

madatobi + vulnerable spots

++100% zoom

[gothkaiba]

Kaiba did not have a tattoo. What he had was a gnarled mess of old scar tissue.

a kindness you can't afford tattoos often equal yakuza. - lure pt 12 by @alectoperdita

[t4timekeeper]

ive gotten a few messages abt this so i wanna clarify - i dont mind if croiss/tk shippers follow me as long as you aren’t calling it “selfcest” or comparing it to incest in any way, jokingly or otherwise 👍 in any case i would def prefer it tagged so i can filter it though. i rly appreciate that most ppl have been polite and understanding about this, tysm!

[sunlesbian]

I think what really has me stuck on this whole discourse, other than the harm of radqueer/promap rhetoric being embraced, is the way i've seen comments in the vein of... never believe any accusation ever, especially not if the person being accused is x.

And while i hope those passing comments don't mean much and don't actually reflect the entirety of their values, it does worry me because i've been in online spaces long enough to see those attitudes realized in callout wars.

When that kind of culture of deflection and denial takes root and gets applied in marginalized communities, it leads to situations where the abusers are also marginalized and then that marginalization is used as a reason to  shield them from consequences on the grounds of the perpetrator's safety.

Like many of us have seen how abusers operate; we've seen victims be asked, coerced and manipulated into protecting their abuser just to protect their imago/the family/etc. We've seen social and material consequences be brought up as a way to guilt-trip victims into silence.

Having observed how social justice and activism-focused circles operate, i think it's naive to think that identity politics can't be used on an interpersonal or community level as another tool of manipulation or, in some cases, to DARVO the victim in retaliation.

Before i go on, i want to be clear: 1) i am not claiming ISFF is an abuser, i am discussing different ways these types of mindsets manifest when applied to situations outside of this one

2) this isn't only a phenomenom within the queer community. The same rhetoric in different fonts gets applied in many communities where they are a minority surrounded by a majority, and even in interpersonal relationships where optics are a consideration.

3) unfortunately, just like therapy speech, social justice concepts and rhetoric can be misused and manipulated. I think it's a bit unrealistic to deny that identity politics, "oppression olympics" etc can be weaponized on a community and interpersonal level, depending on the environment.

4) just because these thoughts are surfacing again on a topic that's revolving around transmisogyny and accusations towards a trans woman, that doesn't mean that i think trans women hold some kind of social power, are privileged over others in the LGBT+, are unfairly or unjustly protected etc; that is not the point i'm trying to make, and i know that in many cases the accusations towards a trans woman are a transmisogynist smear attempt. Just because these kinds of mindsets develop in some isolated communities doesn't mean that any of it reaches the larger society.

5) it's imperative we hold everyone to same standards and don't let subconscious biases fly free; if one person is dangerous for a behavior and should be removed for it, so should another one. If a cis woman or man posted the same procontact/map activist/radqueer rhetoric and it breached containment, i would report their blog as well.

6) When it comes to the ISFF situation, i agree with many that it's important that we stay vigilant to how transmisogyny operates and we should all be aware of how, in example, trans women's sexuality is overtly scrutinized and how often respectability politics are employed to justify disproportionate reactions. We need that awareness so that in situations where someone makes an accusation, we can analyze the evidence on whether the accusations hold water, or if they are coming out of bigotry.

Where they lose me is when they follow that up with "and ISFF said nothing wrong". I have detailed my thoughts on why i think the rhetoric she was spreading is dangerous and irresponsible and i stand by that. I think removing people's platforms in cases like hers is a natural consequence and a preventative measure due to the potential harm that rhetoric might lead to.

And that brings me to my point, i think?

The same way we should never just believe someone without considering the whole situation and everything that surrounds the accusation (lest we become a flying monkey in a DARVO campaign), we should never adopt an attitude where every accusation is false. We should always ask questions and consider the whole situation so we can act in a way that's the most constructive and prevents the most future harm.

Fortunately, this is often easier online than IRL, due to how evidence is so easily captured, saved and spread. Granted, on the flipside, that evidence is also easily faked and misrepresented.

It's easiest when you are actually there in real time (as i was at the beginning of the ISFF situation. Not the whole time, since i had to take 4-5 days of mental health break from social media after) and one must always be aware that sometimes people lie online, but if multiple people are sharing the same information that they had independently documented, it's at least worth considering whether the accusations are valid.

In general, i'd just like to discourage the idea that a person must be incapable of harm due to their identity due to how idolization is another form of dehumanization. Placing someone on a pedestal can quickly become problematic and most people don't want to be put in that position.

In my opinion, considering a group of people incapable of harm functions under the same framework as flattening someone into a caricature or a concept. When we do this, when we use identity politics to idealize a group to that extent, it means treating them as lesser than the complex human beings they are.

TLDR If we confuse and conflate any criticism of a marginalized person as a bigoted attack, that relies on the presumption that they will never do anything worthy of criticism.

If any accusation of harm is twisted into a call to action for the most extreme of violence to be enacted upon the perpetrator, that will inevitably create an environment where speaking up is discouraged.

It's just something to keep in mind on both sides.

[galapathy]

girl of your dreams! ✨

[fleshslop]

inspired by an anime girl blingee, had a lot of fun with this one !

[transgenders]

extreme craving for taco bell unfortunately even if i had the money its not allowed here bc the cult truly believes its made out of human meat in some form or fashion which is 😭 god forbid any of these ppl b normal

[meatcrimes]

character concept i'll prob never play, feel free to yoink

a Ventrue whose feeding restriction is that he can only feed from people who have intentionally and knowingly taken a human life. self defense does not count, accidents do not count, giving orders for someone else to kill does not count, someone who was not in a state of mind to grasp what they were doing does not count. he slowly starts to identify the type of people they can successfully feed from, without directly asking. widows whose husbands with a large life insurance payout dropped dead one day. dishonorably discharged veterans. doctors performing assisted suicide for terminal patients. eventually he ends up as a night guard in a maximum security prison, with the intent on feeding from inmates but has found instead he could not feed from a particular convict. with no way to prove the inmate's innocence, he petitions the prince for a rescue embrace, citing the inmate's tenacity, streetwisdom, and charisma. it is approved and the day of the inmate's execution became the day of his rebirth as a vampire. the sire and childe use their combined capabilities (and new identities) to become prolific defense attorneys who are somehow never wrong about a client's innocence or guilt.