You win if you uphold your boundaries. You lose if you cave in.
When you have high standards, you're assertive, and you don't play around with boundaries, a lot of people may think you're a b****.
And that may be uncomfortable for some of you peoplepleasers. But here's the thing.
Those same men will also secretly admire your self-respect. They may resent that your boundaries and standards exclude them from your special club, they may push back and complain and argue against them.
But ultimately, first of all you'll be protecting your peace & standards. And secondly, they will respect you more. You'll be the one that got away, you'll be the one they remember, the one they can't forget, because you stood out. It's a win-win.
Caving in to people-pleasing and rejecting your own needs & boundaries is a lose-lose situation. You're not honoring yourself, and while you'll be superficially appeasing the other person, they surely won't respect you for it. Toxic people, especially narcissists, will take what they can from you and then they'll move on to do it with others. Nobody is going to admire and clap for you for being a doormat.
