#atren

[soul-of-steam-series]

Regions of Mundus: Metrotras

Introduction: Metrotras is the capital city of the state of Atren, and located in the country of Coswell to the north. Metrotras has the highest population of any city in Atren, with an estimated 1.01 million people. Metrotras is also the oldest city in Atren with a history that dates back almost 2 thousand years. Its name is derived from the name of a Rotis demigod known as Metrolas, son of the Rotis god of blacksmiths, Huniom. As the capital city of Atren, Metrotras is center of all trade and politics in Atren. While the Parliament and Ministry of Metrotras is located in Metrotras, and there is the Galbury Palace where the king or queen reigns, the royal family of Atren typically lives in the heartland of Atren at Angrec Palace in Belliers. 

History: The history of Metrotras began as early as 46 CE with the invasion of the Nation of Rotis. Metrotras was set up as a settlement for Rotis citizens after the initial invasion; while the native Ceoborg people lived outside the town, Metrotras was exclusive to the Rotis people. The town was destroyed several times by neighboring Ceoborg tribes, and rebuilt larger and more prosperous each time. Since the Rotis culture originated in the landlocked Sorrel Scrubs, the Rotis people lacked a familiarity with boats, which made the early city susceptible pirate raids. By 300 CE, however, the city constructed the Iron Wall, a defensive wall around the city that stood for over 1000 years, and kept the original City’s borders clear even after Metrotras expanded beyond the Iron Wall. 

By 400 CE, the Nation of Rotis fell into a decline and their influence faded from Atren. Metrotras was all but abandoned, but by that time many Ceoborg people had migrated to the city. The Ceoborg, who had more familiarity with the sea, began sailing from Atren’s shores. This was done with the help of their newest invaders, the Nota-Siras people, who swept into Atren by 436 CE. Compared to the Rotis, however, the Nota-Siras were more liberal conquerors: so long as the Ceoborg paid their taxes and worshiped their gods, the Nota-Siras were content to leave the Ceoborg people alone. They even defended Ceoborg settlements from pirates and other sea invaders, like the Cornu Invaders, who attacked on-and-off around 800 to 900 CE. Even after the sea raids stopped as the Cornu started to trade and assimilate with the Ceoborg, the Nota-Siras continued to rule the region in relative peace even as their culture blended with native culture.

In fact, this became a running trend with the Ceoborg people and the future country of Atren, which is arguably their greatest strength: rather than fight and resist invaders, the people of Atren welcome the baffled warriors and barbarians with open arms. Within just a few generations, the conquerors of Atren are absorbed by the surrounding culture until they simply become a minority in the swelling tide of Atren’s diverse populace. Even the Gnanon and Ceswal invaders, whose cultures greatly shaped the broader mindset for the people of Atren, even giving the country its name, eventually became one with Atren and became part of what the country is today.

Geography: The geography of Metrotras is a tricky subject, because like many great and ancient cities, Metrotras’ borders are ill-defined. While the City of Metrotras once made up the whole city, urban areas spread up and outward over the centuries until they dwarfed the core City. While they have now been contained by the Blue Belt (a series of natural rivers and swampland that effectively circle Metrotras that contribute to the city’s trade routes), both urban and rural areas outside the Belt also identify as part of Metrotras. The inner region of Metrotras is known as Higher Metrotras while the outer region is known as Lower Metrotras. The original settlement is simply known as “the City.”

Higher Metrotras has a scope of about 565 square miles, while Lower Metrotras is about 2,870 square miles. Since Metrotras was built up from a floodplain and bordered by swampland, the city is prone to quick but severe bouts of flooding before the water drains into the swampland. Man-made streams and water drainage systems prevent worst of the damage, but even so the city has been built to resist flooding: many buildings are raised high off the ground, and few basements exist. The weather is moderate here, but rains are frequent. Metrotras is famous for its thick fogs and cold. damp winters. 

Demographics: As the capital city of Atren, Metrotras is a cosmopolitan city that has a diverse population. If anything, it is more diverse than Breham. About 52% of the population is human, 25% is Avesian, 13% is Spawn, and 10% is Phractos. The Degenerate population of Metrotras is negligible. While Gols do not live in Metrotras, since Metrotras is the political center of Atren, Gol diplomats and other influential Gols visit the city from time to time.  

[soul-of-steam-series]

Countries of Mundus: Atren

Introduction: The State of Atren is a country in Western Otera. It is bordered to the east by Octington and Vosuarhiel, to the north by Skyles, to the west by the Flurc Forest, and to the south by the Sorrel Scrubs. The Cerwiss superocean lies to its north as well. Atren is a proud country with a high population of humans and Avesians, and is an important member of the Aegis Coalition. While its not immediately clear on a map, Atren is actually a sovereign state that comprises of four different countries: Apra, Busnos, Coswell, and Struys. 

History: The pre-history of Atren can be traced back as far as 28 KA years ago, during the last great age of the Gol Empire. Bands of human nomads principally lived into the region, and were subject to Iem Gol rule. Archaeological evidence of Gol raids suggests that pre-Atren humans were among the earliest test subjects to create Furred Folks Degenerates, though these raids were mercifully few. Life was otherwise marked by long periods of peace and short bursts of intertribal war. During one of these periods of peace, the monument of Rock Tialt was erected by the ancient Ceoborg people, who practiced the Ceoborlic religion, who lived in present day Busnos and Coswell. 

The earliest historical records of Atren come from 37 CE, not long after the War of the End. The expansionist nation of Rotis, which occupied the territory now known as the Sorrel Scrubs, conquered the native Ceoborg people, which lead to a 400 year occupation of northern Coswell. The Rotis occupiers took the Ceoborg culture out of the Stone Age into the Bronze Age, and helped shape their culture. This was followed by a series of other invasions over the first millennium that conquered the pre- Busnos, Coswell, Apra, and Struys territories and shaped the cultures of each region. The most notable invasion was the Gnanon Invasion, who with their Ceswal allies, conquered almost the entire region of pre-Atren. The Gnanon people heavily influenced the region, but were ultimately assimilated with the locale populace into a cultural melting pot. 

Perhaps the most influential cultural change during this period was the introduction of monarchy to the region. When the Gnanon people conquered the pre-Atren area, they divided it into four territories for each the four leaders of the Gnanon forces. These territories would eventually become the four countries that make up Atren, with the Ceswal faction notably receiving the territory that became Coswell. 

Government & Politics: Due to its long and complicated history between its respective countries, the government of Atren is a unitary sovereign state: while each country has their own government, they are ultimately subordinate to the centralized government of Coswell. While regional tensions still exist, the rise of nationalism has helped the people of Apra, Busnos, and Struys identify as citizens of Atren, and it is rare for the Coswell to interfere with the other three countries. 

Atren is also a constitutional monarchy, where the king or queen of Atren follows the Atren Constitution and presides over the Parliament. Uniquely among monarchies in Otera, the king or queen of Atren can be born from any of the four countries. If the bloodline of any royal family runs thin or loses political influence, then the royal family from another country can assume control, especially if one of their members marries into the ruling royal family. This has happened several times throughout Atren’s history, both peacefully and not-so-peacefully. Coswell has overwhelmingly had the longest ruling royal family, but its not uncommon for a Busnos or Struys royal member to assume control during times of natural disasters, famine, and political instability. 

Economy: The country of Atren has one of the largest markets in Western Otera. While its market has fallen behind countries like Ludvalla and Ebros in terms of growth and manufacturing output, Atren still holds considerable influence in the market. With cities like Metrotras and Breham, Atren is the financial heart of Otera with its high efficiency and strong alliances with countries like Skyles. It also has high financial holdings in Girolla’s railroad system. As of late, however, the working class has begun to demand greater voice and higher worker’s rights, which may partly destabilize the economy.

In hindsight, I am surprised that it took me so long to write an entry about the country of Atren. Given that I have written two entries about cities in the country, it’s embarrassing that I didn’t write anything about the broader country. Well, I’m glad to finally rectify that! 

[insidesanity]

Start of Chapter 3 Atren

I spent months , perhaps weeks, in that forest. Shivering, though not from the cold. A small spark of comprehension was pushing itself to the forefront of my mind and I could not hold it back for much longer.

  ……………………………………………………………………………………………………………..

  The butcher, his apron at least, smelled of fresh blood and meat, familiar meat. Deer. I had hunted a deer not long ago, but failed due to weakness; but if you asked me if it was from weakness of body or mind I could not be able to tell you.

I had scented the deer after a few days of numbness and had immediately ran toward it, poorly concealing my existence. The deer of course heard me and bounded away but something told me, instinctually, to run after it. I found myself loping along eyes searching for the evidence of recent passage in the forest, ear listening for rustles in the brush. My eyes lowered and the world Sped by as I loped after my prey, pain struck me and I ached as I ran, from what I assumed then was exhaustion and exertion. How wrong I was. I grew tired and when I was near collapse I skidded to a halt above a deep river. The water churned and spit white foam at me as I watched my prey jump easily over its width. I could not follow, tired as I was, and lay on the ground which I was startled to find very close. I was down on all fours and covered in fur, I screamed but all that had come out was a yowl. I panicked and with a great sudden pain i felt bones and muscles moving, and shortly after I was human again.  

I had played painfully with this discover for a few days before I figured out how to start the process at will. I also learned that the faster I changed the more pain I endured. Yet despite all my efforts and new form I could still not catch a meal.

So now I lay, I muse to myself after this brief repose on my recent past, a poor beaten and wet wolf, on the ground under the butcher's overhang. Obviously built to keep his wood dry it was shoddy work but kept me dryer by far than a tree, so it was my home for the night; and walking through the evening rain to get wood was how this man found me.

  I growl, a pitiful attempt and an unconscious reaction after spending so much time in the furry form I held. I needed no warning that I was in danger for men killed wolves on sight this close to a home, yet I could not bring myself to care enough to move.  The man ambles inside and leaves the door open, obviously he did not think me strong enough to follow, he was correct. I suppose he went to get his gun. I heard a metallic click affirm this and looked up only to see a horrid creature in front of me. I backed up into the wood hackles raised only to discover the monster had been a reflection of my self, skewed by the curvature of the metal bowl before me. I sniff and smell raw meat. Approaching the metal bowl I saw scraps of unwanted meat, the fat, sinew and gristle left over from carving a deer. I stared at the round butcher, his arms muscled from chopping meat, and his belly round from eating it. He smiles at me and his voice echoes through the air strangely, it is the first human voice I've heard with these ears.

  "Get rid of that refuse for me wolf, would yA? I have no use for it.” He winks at me and leaves for the comfort of his home. Immediately I lunge at the scraps, the thought of poison crosses my mind but I don’t care at this point, hungry as i am. The rough gristle and fatty bits so despised by me when at the table tasted like a feast that night, even raw. I mentally blink as I chew, raw meat, I guess, makes sense as a wolf, and it didn’t seem to taste any different than unseasoned meat.

The bowl empty I lie down and pant, great gulps of air I missed while I inhaled the first meal I’ve had in three days. I snuggle further bag into the overhang and woodpile, ready for a short night’s sleep, I wanted to be far gone by the time the butcher rose at dawn.

  The next day found me well, attempting again to hunt a deer shortly after sunrise. I lope after it slowly, just using enough energy to keep the beast in sight. Perhaps I could outlast it, all I had to do was keep its white backside in sight. My stomach grumbled in protest, still hungry despite last night’s meal.

[insidesanity]

Awaken, beast //sorry I am asking so much. Also I'm getting ideas oh mod

(asking what? this is great. I’m gonna make people shit their pants.)

Atren whistled as she walked down the stairs to her basement.At the bottom of the stone stairs she stopped and smiled surveying the place. Simple stone floor, window in the top corner, a desk for some artsy stuff or repairs, and a bookshelf. She went over to the book shelf and giving a huge push shoved it out of the way. Behind it was a wall, it had a button. A big red button. Atren had a weakness for them. She pushed it and a click echoed through the basement. Nothing else changed. Atren knew better. She pushed on the wall and the stone screeched on the floor. The wall turned. There was no sliding mechanism, no secret, nothing. The wall was a wall that was just not plastered to the rest of the building.  She pushed through and once inside pushed it back. She then lifted up a very large and heavy piece of the floor  and pressed another red button. Bars shot out of the ground and covered the wall she had just entered through, two sheets of metal slide across the wall as well leaving no cracks. Not even a vampire could get through that. The bars and metal were silver and iron.  She grinned and only then turned around to survey the hidden room.

Or passageway as it were. The right side was lined with cells, well lit and well furnished. And well stocked. Each had a person, or being inside. They all stopped talking when she entered, stopped moving. Except one. He yelled and screamed for her to let him out. The others shook their heads. He was new. They would only get out when, if, she let them. 

Atren snarled and walked up to the door where the man was. 

"I am not here for you now. Quiet. " She looked at him with red eyes and he found himself unable to speak. She had had his blood, she could control him. She was about to walk out the door at the other end when she snapped her fingers and turned around. She went to another cell and opened it, smiling sweetly at the girl within.  

"Elsa. It’s the 25 of July. One year since you got here. True to my words, I’m letting you go." The girl looked up. He face was horribly disfigured, clawed and mauled completely on one side. The other side was perfect, she had been a beauty before. Now she had to live knowing she would never be again. Her face was beyond repair. "I’ll let you out as soon as I’m done with my other things down here ok. And if I ever find you siphoning the energy from someone in my territory again, I will kill you." Atren sneered. "And just to prolong your beauty." She tsked and closed the door and opened the one next to it. The man inside cowered.

"John, it’s the 25th of July, 2014, 70 years since you attempted to rob me, beat me, and rape me. You’re sentence has been served." 

The man looked up in disbelief. He was young. Too young to have been here fifty years.

"You’re letting me go?"

Atren smiled. “I never said that.” The man looked at her in terror. Atren drew out a potion and slammed the bottle into his mouth forcing him to swallow. He screamed, but nothing seemed to be happening. Then he started aging.  He had been 40 when he came, 70 years had passed and he remained young. And suddenly, he was 110. 

Atren had given him a longevity potion, for each 50 years, ….he aged one. And she had just stuffed the antidote down his throat. 

His skin shriveled and sagged from his body, his eyes grew cataracts, and his limbs became stiff. Atren stared expressionless as his heart gave out. She threw the bottle on the floor and left the room. She’d pick up dinner later. 

This wasn’t what she was here for though. She passed once again down the row of cells and too the door. She opened it and on the other side was an ornate room, comfortable and furnished in every way, if made of stone, pitch black, and cold. 

Just the way Samuel liked it. He sat in his char reading in the dark and waved at her uncaringly as she passed by. Atren rolled her eyes as she passed his coffin. It was near smothered in gold. She opened another door in the room and once again headed down. Everything was black. There was no light. There didn’t need to be. She could see fine…and so could her target.  

Her once friend sat in a chair  chained down with silver. His skin smoked. 

"Little hunter. How are you today?" Atren went to a table and picked up a knife and looked at it.

"C-could be betah."

"Of course you could, you haven’t eaten in days." The king blanched and tried to scoot farther back in his seat. 

"It’th ok. Really. I’m not- not hungry." 

Atren picked up the table and brought it over to him. It was laid out with fine silver wear and eating apparatus. The once jolly little king tried to back away but the chair was bolted to the ground.  ”You’re being rude.”

"…THCREW YOU."

"I’m married." Atren’s face was expressionless as she polished the silver, she wore gloves of course, never too careful. She touched the fork to her friend’s hand, he screamed as his flesh burned. 

The chains were only 10% silver, and 90% iron, the silver wear was just that, silver. Pure silver. The smoke rising from his skin continuously was nothing compared to that. She put the fork down in it’s allotted spot and walked away.

"Pl..pleathe. No." She ignore him and opened another door and closed it behind her.

"Sorry dear, it’s that time again."

A young voice cried out.

"No! Please! It’s….Ok." 

"Good girl, it’ll be over soon and then you can go back to your video game." 

A sobbing sound came from the other room, followed by a large crack and silence. Atren came out holding a covered tray and closed the door behind her. Still silence. She put the tray down in front of her victim, expressionless still and went to raise the lid. 

"N-no! No! PLEATHE!" The once king strained his neck away with all his might, a crack was heard. He had broken his neck. Atren tutted and put it back into place, he didn’t move…She lifted the lid to the plate.

The king blinked as his neck healed and the first thing he saw, was his own daughter’s heart and head, on a plate. 

"Noooooo! No! Pleathe! No!" Atren ignored him and sat down in a chair, head in her hand, and looked at him.

"Eat."

The sobbing started in the room again.  The potion had helped regenerated her missing parts quickly. 

The king screamed and screamed, tugging at his bonds. Suddenly he went still, completely unmoving. 

Atren stood and unlocked his chains before sitting down again. She repeated the command.

"Eat."

The king shuddered back to life and sobbed as he grabbed the fork and knife.

"No. Pleathe." Atren ignored him, eyes flashing red as she told him what to do. 

After all, he had drunk her blood. Well, she’d forced her leaking jugular down his throat as she turned him. A fledgling has to do what their parent tell  them after all. She sat motionless and watched him eat. His tears fell to the floor and in the near silence they sounded like drums. 

She still didn’t move. 

The clinked of silver wear and the smell of shared flesh as his hand burned joined the quiet sobs in the other room. 

She didn’t move. 

The king choked on his meal, trying to throw it up, and failed. He stopped for a second, fork in mouth, and looked at his captor.

"Why?"

For the first time since entering that room she showed emotion. Her face contorted and bones moved as teeth and jaw rearranged themselves. Her face was a monstrous epitome of anger.

"WHY? YOU KNOW WHY! YOU ATE MY DAUGHTER LITTLE HUNTER! SHE WAS MORTAL! SHE CAN’T COME BACK! There is no blood ritual or spell that can help her now that you’ve completely rid the world of her! SHE IS GONE." She took a breathe and sat down. "Keep eating."

The fork finished its journey to his mouth and started it’s trip again. Minutes passed as he slowly, agonizingly slowly, ate his meal.

"You know…Sara was supposed to be the first person I turned. And now you’re sitting here, immortal, powerful, undying. Ironic isn’t it?"

The king just sobbed.

Finally there was no more flesh on the plate, just blood.

"Lick it."

"Wh- what?" This was new. 

"Lick your plate clean." The plate shuddered as it was lifted to his face, so did the king. His fangs came out as he licked up the meal and his own tears.

While he was doing that Atren came and locked him back up. Taking the plate when he was done and tying the chains around his arms. 

She was expressionless again.

She was expressionless as she cleaned up. And expressionless as she check on Vanellope in the next room. 

She was expressionless as she opened the door to leave.

"How long?"

She stopped.

"What?"

"How long now until your satithfied?" 

She turned and looked at her once friend. 

"Maybe 100 or so years."

The king brightened up, that was short to an immortal.

"Most likely never." Atren slammed the door as the king cried out in pain and sorrow.

She walked up the stairs.

Through her friend’s room.

Up more stairs.

And back to the cell where her dinner lay. She picked up the man and slung him over her shoulder before opening the door next to his.

"Alright Elsa. Let’s get you out there."

She opened the cage and then went to the heavy silver and iron plated wall.

She sighed. And shook her head. Expression was back on her face. She smiled.

"Why-why are you smiling?" Elsa whispered and shivered. She knew by now it wasn’t good when Atren smiled.

"Oh, just heard a sound that I am fond of."

She slammed her foot down on the hidden button in the ground, cracking the stone in the process. She’d fix it later. She pushed the wall open and as soon as there was enough space Elsa ran past her and out of the basement. 

She wouldn’t tell anyone. She couldn’t. All her victims had been drunk from, and a simple command like that…could last a lifetime. Atren closed the wall and shifted the meat sack on her shoulder. The screaming stone silent she stopped and listened to the silent room, and smiled.

Deep in the basement, the king cried.

[insidesanity]

Just checked my friends on my 3ds. Lurku. Responded to my friend code. Best. Day. Ever. Commence pkmn trading. ....Is it bad I can see atren and lurker trying to play pkmn and yelling an eggin their pkmn on. And getting attached and getting very angry at anything that hurts them. And confused at the weird pkmn. And they bother keep needing new ds's because they keep breaking them I can also see Real fights breaking out if they battled. "You hurt my umbreon!!" "Well my mr peppermint didnt like what you did to my charmander." "You won't like what I'll do to your face!" "Raaah!" Throat blades start turning. "Raaaaaaa!" Claws grow. Crack! Crack! "Fuck." "We both broke our systems again didnt we?" "Sigh. Yes."

[insidesanity]

Found two songs that remind me of Lurker, and one for Atren. They both fit their personalities rather well.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4PjIhs72l0A

This one is definitely for Lurker. I can see him in the branches of a tree just playing the violin parts and laughing as he eats people and uses their remains to make rainbows.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N3gcCAXm-ek

This one works for Atren because it describes her hunting style, sly and subtle, yet very teasing and slightly seductive.

Lurker however would be playing this to lure victims into the forest and entrance them, and of course as soon as he stopped playing scaring the shit out of them before devouring them whole.

I can also see Flip Frost dancing in a fairy circle to this.

[insidesanity]

Chapter 2 part one Rough Draft

The night air was cold on my skin, but not as cold as the turned up earth of the nearby grave where my father lay. Despite this cold that I felt would never end the fire raged nearby, its heat unfelt as it devoured my past but not my memories. Stars over head move in their endless circular route as the night passes and my body grows numb from lack of movement. The wind moves my hair and tickles my face waking me up from my trance. I must move on, find shelter at least. I take one last look at what used to be my home, unable to salvage anything as a keepsake I move towards the woods. I need to find shelter and the trees are my most likely bet. I head off to the right and move quickly through the trees putting as much distance between me and the burning memory as possible. Hours later the leaves of familiar trees have disappeared, and the forest I knew well is miles away. I haven never traveled this far before, content with my own forest and being back in time for dinner.

 The leaves betray my movement and something inside me laughs at my pitiful attempts at stealth in this area of the woods that I am unfamiliar with. As I look around the howling of the wind and the tickling of dying ferns absorbs my attention. Everything here is untouched by man. The pine needles, leaves, and pebbles under foot feel comforting somehow. An owl hoots over head and I look up to see it swooping between trees. My foot slips on the bare stones and suddenly there is nothing beneath me as I tumble to the steep hill to the rocky, muddy, crevice of a river below. My arm hurts like fire and as I move my head the mere inches that I can I see a bit of white poking out of my arm before I pass out from the pain.

The sky it hot, and yet rain falls on my face. As I blink at the heavens a cloud passes over the bright disk. I can see. The scattered clouds drop rain onto me, it looks red. All the water looks red. Why is everything red? I push myself up to meet the searing pain in my arm. Right, the bone was poking out. I gag at the memory. What was left of my last meal comes up soon after. I can’t afford that. Not now with a broken arm. I grab at the mess and a piece of meat touches battered hands. I take a look at it before readying myself to pop it into my mouth. It’s a finger. …A whole finger.

“Auaa…. Aaaa. …uhhaauhauhaaaaAAAAAAA!”

The finger flies through the air and lands in the brush opposite from me. Oh god. A finger. I ate… I devoured a man. I ate him so quickly that… that…. More bile comes up and I fall to the side again. I brace for the pain of my broken arm, but none comes.

            “Wha?” As exhaustion takes over and I roll over I see my arm. There’s no bone in sight.

  By the time I awake once again it’s deep night. The air is cool and crisp, but I don’t feel the cold. I finally have enough energy to sit up. As I do a rabbit grazing nearby starts and runs into the underbrush. It makes me realize how hungry I am. The thought of any type of meat after my last meal is….nauseating. I pull myself up right and move toward the bush where the rabbit was and relieve myself.  The rabbit smell is strong, I can smell rabbit… I take a deep breath and smells fill me. Earth and clay, rotting leaves, a doe nearby, even a wolf that passed by…a few weeks ago, the fact that I can smell this, let alone recognize there scents, is terrifying.  I hike up what is left of my dress and begin to make the trek to find something edible.

Nearby the red of a bush springs through the green forest.

“Berries!” I rush toward them and stuff my mouth full. They’re raspberries, their sweetness fills my mouth and washes away the iron of the blood and meat, and the tanginess of my one bile. I stuff myself until my stomach hurts and my hands are stained. They’re red, I begin to shake. It’s too like something else, the something else that was on my hands not long ago. Those men, my father….I dash towards the muddy rivulet and plunge into the shallows not caring that the rocks dig into me, not caring that the slime and mud will take hours to dry, not caring that I could become sick. I only knew I needed to get the blood of my hands. No! It was berry juice! Berry juice. I frantically repeat the words over and over to myself as I scrub my entire body till parts bleed. It only makes it worse. Exhaustion takes over again and the shivering won’t stop. I lay there in the mud for hours, curled in a small ball of fear and hate.

I don’t feel the cold at all.

This time when I awake there is no sun or moon to greet me. Grey skies wash the color from my surroundings as I look at myself. The berry juice is gone, somehow so are the wounds I inflicted upon myself. I quickly get up in an attempt to change thoughts, I do not want to think over much about who, what I am and how, what my body is.

My stomach cramps as I get up and I gasp. I shouldn’t have eaten that many berries. I was overzealous. The pain is annoying, intense even, but no worse than my monthly cycle. I clamber out of the rivulet and up the short bank to drier land. I sit down and look back at the ledge which I fell down. It looked impossible to scale, let alone come down safely. My body was an attest to that, at least it was.

“No, don’t think about that.” I thought about anything else, everything else. The sky, the grass, the wetness of my dress, the fact that I was hungry again. It didn’t make sense to me. I was still nauseous from the berries, how could I be hungry? And yet it gnawed at me, like some bug at a piece of wood. I finally got up and went to look at the berries again, I nearly threw up upon seeing then.

“Well if this isn’t what you want what do you want?” My stomach growled again. I sighed and went back to the water and sat down, I don’t know for how long. I felt unmoving and uncaring despite the aching in my gut. The rabbit from before hopped back and started grazing. It’s eyes were wide and fearful, black as the night. It chewed quickly and looked up at me frequently as if I might pounce at it at any moment. I didn’t. I didn’t move for hours. The rabbit came closer and closer to me. I could see it’s coarse fur, it was preparing for winter. It’s ears twitched at the sound of a leaf falling nearby and it rushed by me. Without thinking my hand reached out and grabbed it by the ears. It screeched loudly. I didn’t know rabbits screeched. It struggled and scratched at my arm until I held it close to me so it couldn’t move.

            “What am I going to do with you?” My stomach growled again, I looked at the rabbit, the rabbit looked at me, paralyzed with fear. Was this what I wanted, was my body craving iron, or protein? I looked down at the tiny thing, it’s eyes huge and wavering. I’d had rabbit before, but it was always cooked and on the table. The thing’s nose twitched and that’s when I gave in. I couldn’t do it. I couldn’t hurt this thing that looked as scared as I was to be here in the wild. I dropped the fuzzy creature and it ran off dazedly and frantically back through the underbrush.  Exhausted from the experience I sat down again.  What was I going to do? My stomach growled at me once more.

“Quiet.” I went upstream a bit to where the water was more clear and drank my fill. It gave a feeling of fullness, the nausea went away as well, but that gnawing hunger still ate at the back of my mind and stomach ever so slightly throughout the entire day and night.

  Three days later the berry bush had been completely consumed and I was fairly sure I couldn’t stomach another one anyway. Any type of plant I looked at for food brought up feelings of nausea and disgust. I was starving. Slowly but surely. The water didn’t help anymore and this gnawing feeling was near driving me mad. The rabbit hadn’t returned.  I was starting to wish it had. But wishing wasn’t going to help me. I sat up and went to work.

Half an hour later, one strip of cloth from my dress, and some good sticks and I had a rudimentary snare. Father would be impressed. No, no thinking of father, not after you, his hand… I coughed and moved behind the bushes to wait. My stomach growled.

  I must have fallen asleep because the next thing I knew there was a terrible squealing noise from the trap. I rushed out to see a good sized rabbit in there. I quickly disconnected the strip of cloth and grabbed the rabbit. It screeched louder as I picked it up. Once again I was faced with the dilemma of killing or starving, once again I couldn’t do it. I put the rabbit down and untied the snare.

It didn’t move.

“Go. Shoo.”

It gave a small hop and squealed in pain. Its leg was broken. I had broken its leg. It was as good as dead out here in the wild with a broken limb…

I stared at it. It stared at me. It was in pain. I sighed. Well if anyone was going to benefit from this thing’s inevitable death it might as well be me. I quickly scooped up the rabbit and amidst its protests managed a hurried “I’m sorry” and snapped its neck.

The sound reverberated. Through the trees, through my head, through my heart, through my gut. My stomach growled again, this time it hurt. I needed to eat.

  An hour later I had a good fire thanks to some dry wood and friction.  I also had a badly made spit with pieces of poorly cut and skinned rabbit on it. I had used a sharp rock to skin it and it had not gone too well. I had managed not to cut myself though so that was a plus.  I stared at the fat dripping from the meat and drooled. A fall rabbit, at its fattest from preparing for winter. It looked delicious, I tore a piece from the end of the spit and put it in my mouth. I practically moaned.  I went to quickly grab a another piece from the spit and the fire chose that moment to reach up to the heavens.

It burned, oh god it burned. My hand was red, not badly but it hurt so much. Such a different sharp pain from the one my stomach had been giving me. It was startling. I looked at the red area and sighed, this would take weeks to heal. As I contemplated it my hand started to itch, badly. Suddenly the red skin disappeared and was replaced by bright new healthy flesh. I stared.

“What am I?” I tentatively stuck my hand back in the fire. It burned no less than before, but soon after I took it out my hand healed again.

“What…what am I?” I felt sick, but I couldn’t afford to be. I needed to eat or I would be really ill soon. I took the rest of the meat off the spit and stuffed it in my mouth, swallowing it greedily. My appetite had returned as soon as I had tasted the first piece. Too soon the rabbit was gone. I dug a small trench around the fire and curled beside it.

 It was nice for once, I was full and warm. Soon I started to drift asleep.

            That’s when it hit me again. That gnawing hunger.  I doubled over in pain. Why?! Why was this here?!  I fell asleep amidst a whirl of aching and voices in my head.

  The next morning was no better. I was still hungry. The rabbit wasn’t enough. I needed something more. Perhaps a deer? But how was I supposed to kill a deer without… That horrid night came back to me in a flash. The dirt, the fur, the grave, the claws, the blood, the ashes, … the hand. My hands. I looked at them. I had claws that night…how? I shivered. I didn’t want to know. I looked around what had been my home for the past few days. I wasn’t living here, I was just existing… I needed to move on, find shelter.

  I followed the rivulet down to the east, picking berries and mushrooms as I went. They did nothing for my hunger. They gave me some energy, but I still felt myself becoming weaker with each passing day.  I was five days into my trek down the river when I crossed paths with a deer. A doe. It was beautiful and proud, its fur shiny and its eyes wise.  All I could think of was deer meat. It apparently sensed my thoughts because it jumped up and ran further down stream.

“Wait!” I rushed after it ignoring stinging nettles and painful riverside rocks. I kept it in sight, somehow. It wasn’t getting any further away, but I couldn’t be getting any closer. It was impossible… Unless the deer was already injured. I picked up my pace and widened my stride, and felt a blazing pain in my shoulder. A loud sound stung my ears as I fell to the ground. I lay there in pain as I watched my quarry bound away.

“No…” I tried to crawl after it. I was so consumed by my hunger that I didn’t hear the sounds behind me. I was suddenly hauled up by the back of my dress and nearly dangled in the air.

“Wha? You ain’t no deer.”  My fear got the better of me and I flailed around scratching and clawing. “EH! EY! OW! Stop that! I said stop that!” The man turned me around so I could see his face. “What the ell are you doin out ere?” The man was scruffy, very tall, and slightly fat, a poorly kept gun was in his right hand and his trousers sagged at the waist. But that wasn’t what caught my attention. No, it was the small stream of blood that trickled from a cut on his face that entranced me. It was so red. I didn’t register what the man was saying as I slowly reached for it. I couldn’t stop myself. I was just about to touch it when the man slapped me.

“Little miss what Are you doin out here?” The jolt knocked my hand into his face and then away, but it brought me back to my senses, for a time.

“I-I.” I couldn’t concentrate so I just looked at my hands. One was red. It was the blood. It dripped down one of my fingers, slowly, temptingly. Almost of its own accord my hand went to my mouth and the finger with the blood stuck in.

It was delicious. My stomach immediately cried out for more and my pain reached an all time high.

“Missy pay attention!” the man hit my face again, and I snapped out of it. My fingers were in my mouth, they were covered in blood. I was drinking it.

“No….no! Nononononono!” I thrashed around as the realization of what I was hit me.  The man was surprised and dropped me, I ran.

“Eh, come back! Miss! You’re in no condition to be out ‘ere!”

  I suppose he tried to follow me, I don’t really know. I ran for as long as my feet could handle, as long as I could handle the gut wrenching hunger that terrified me. I knew what it was now. What I was, at least in some part. 

  And I ran from it, I ran as fast as I could from it.

  And it followed me.

[ask-his-puffiness-king-candy]

AAAAAATREN!

"If you would be tho kind... we've had a bit of a Peeping Tom that tried to force histh way into a shower with my daughter, Ren. Are you hungry~?"