Promises Made
Wincest Writing Challenge: October | @sweet-sammy-kisses vs. @ @audaciousdean Pairing (s): Dean/Sam Word Count: 2,388 Rating: Teen Summary: Back at the bunker promises are made and truths are said and Dean proves he will do anything to keep Sam safe and happy even giving the devil's son a chance. Tags/Triggers: Season 13 spoilers AO3
After seeing how having to kill Madison tore Sam apart Dean vowed then and there that would be the last time Sam would ever have to kill someone he cared about from then on it would fall to him. He would rather have Sam hate him than himself.
He saw it; he saw the way Sam was with Jack. Dean wasn't a fool and there was no one that he knew more than Sam and Sam wanted Jack to see that he wasn't a monster that he didn't have to be what everything out there wanted him to be because Sam had been there where Jack was.
Sam still saw himself as a monster despite everything he has done. His baby brother had done the impossible he beat back the devil. He was trapped in the cage where he was tortured for over a millennium, he had sacrificed so much for this damn world and yet there were still those who looked past or down on Sam for all he had done and it made him feel like he still had to atone for his role in what had passed.
And as much as Dean loved Charlie he wished he had said something when she had thanked him for saving the world but completely skipped over Sam's role in it as well and it wasn't the first time that had happened. It tore into Dean every time Sam's heroics were overlooked it seemed like everyone could forget those but not the mistakes he had made.
After telling Jack that he would be the one to kill him if he went evil Dean ordered the kid to stay put as he went to grab him a new shirt the last thing Dean wanted was for Sam to see what Jack had tried to do. While Sam had never come right out and said it Dean could read Sam like a book and he was pretty sure that when Sam learned that he was the vessel of Lucifer he might have tried to kill himself.
"It won't matter what I do, he'll just bring me back."
Those words tore at Dean and the haunted and broken look in Sam's eyes had scared him he hadn't and still didn't want to think what Sam had done during their time apart. The guilt had and still ate at him at how he allowed himself to be used by heaven, to do the one thing he swore he never do and turn his back on his brother.
"Do I want to know why you are raiding our closet for a new shirt?"
It was pure instinct that Dean automatically reached for the weapon when he heard the voice from behind him; he had been so lost in thought and his regrets that he hadn't even heard Sam approaching.
"Damn it, Sammy!" Whirling around Dean pointed his finger at Sam, "What have I told you about creeping up on me? If I had been armed I could have seriously hurt you!" And that was the last thing Dean wanted to do was hurt Sam. 'A little too late for that.' The traitorous voice whispered.
Brows furrowed together Sam studied his brother, it wasn't like him to catch Dean off guard. "Dean, are you alright?"
'No Sam I'm not alright. I haven't been alright since those damn angels came into our lives and did their best to turn me against you. I haven't been alright since my trip to hell and try as I might I can still remember what I did in hell as Alistair's star pupil.'
Sam's eyes what wide with horror as he took a step towards his brother his hands halting in mid-air as he wanted nothing more than to comfort Dean but he wasn't sure if it would be welcomed at this moment."Dean?"
It took Dean a second to realize that he had said that all out loud. "Just forget I said anything."
"No. Dean, how can I forget what you have been carrying around all this time? This is has been clearly weighing on you for some time. Dean, we need to talk to each other if we don't well we have seen what happens." It cut Sam deeply to know that the person he loved above everything and everyone else felt he couldn't open up to him. He wanted to be there for Dean like Dean had been there for him.
The moment he saw Dean's jaw clench and his eyes harden Sam felt his hopes sink there was one undeniable truth that the Winchester were not good with sharing or talking about their feelings.
"I figured Jack could use a few things to sleep in, someone will have to take him shopping tomorrow." Gathering up the clothes he had found for Jack Dean did his best to ignore the hurt look Sam was sending his way.
"I can take those to Jack." Sam offered he knew that Dean wasn't comfortable around Jack.
"NO!" That was the very last thing that Dean wanted was Sam to see what Jack had done to himself, he knows his little brother well and Sam would blame himself for what Jack had done.
Startled Sam found himself taking a step back from Dean. "Did something happen to Jack?"
"No! You just don't need to mother him every second. Stopping him from going evil won't change the past!" Dean wanted to slug himself the moment the words left his mouth. The moment the sheer hurt appeared in Sam's eyes tore his heart to shreds. "Sammy... I..." Dean couldn't find the words to apologize to Sam the damage had already been done he could see the walls coming up around Sam and he couldn't blame him for closing off. 'Way to go Winchester. Way to go.' With the clothing firmly in hand, Dean decided that it was best if he left before he could cause any more damage.
Sam said nothing as Dean passed him by it wasn't until the silence of the room began to overwhelm him did Sam collapse onto the bed. "All this time I thought you had forgiven me, Dean." He whispered into the empty room, his voice trembling from holding back the tears that wanted to fall.
Leaning against the wall Dean cursed himself as he heard Sam breakdown. "I did baby boy, it's me I haven't forgiven for the pain I caused you and I don't deserve to be."
+*****+
Dean was pleased to see that Jack had stayed put. "Here, put this one." He ordered as he tossed the shirt at the kid and as soon as the kid was changed he would burn that shirt the last thing he wanted was for Sam to find it.
"You are worried about Sam," Jack spoke after several moments of silence as he studied Dean to the point where the other man was feeling a little uncomfortable.
"I usually am, that is what it means to be a big brother." Dean didn't want to tell Jack that their relationship went beyond being brothers.
Tilting his head Jack studied Dean for a second, "It's more than that. I can see it."
"See what?" Dean was not in the mood for his. He needed to figure out a way to make things right with Sam or if they should just pretend that it never happened like they usually did.
"Yours and Sam's souls, they are entwined and connected. They move together as one linking you to one another, bonding you to each other. You are not whole without the other one around. I believe that is what they mean when talking about soulmates." Jack didn't understand everything but he could see that Dean and Sam were more than they pretended to be.
"I understand that you don't trust me and Sam does. You are worried that Sam could get hurt. That I could hurt Sam. But I wouldn't he has been nice to me; he cares about me like a son. I believe he is what you call mothering me." Jack's heart skipped a little beat he thought of Sam as his mother. "Does that mean that he and Castiel will get together if Castiel comes back?"
"No! Sam is mine!" Dean couldn't keep the possessiveness out of his voice he wasn't a fool he had seen Castiel interest in Sam and he never forgot the way Cas would linger when he hugged Sam as if he didn't want to let him go.
"You are jealous of the idea of Castiel and Sam because you and Sam are involved." Jack still didn't understand everything.
"Yeah and we you are in a committed relationship like Sammy and me you don't cheat on your partner." Dean didn't know why he was talking about this with Jack it was none of the kid's business to know what went on between him and Sam. And he didn't trust the kid he was the son of Lucifer and he had seen firsthand that bastards obsession with making Sam his.
"I understand why you do not trust me but shouldn't you at least trust Sam and talk to him, isn't that what couples do?" Jack was still trying to grasp everything but from what he had seen on TV and observed it was normal for couples to talk to one another.
"Yeah well, Sammy and I aren't normal." But as much as Dean hated it he had to admit that the kid had a point, he needed to talk to Sam the problem was he was just so angry and tired of losing people he loved. He had already lost his dad, Bobby the man who was a second father, Ellen, Ash, Jo, Rufus and so many others hell he had lost Sam too many times but unlike the others, he couldn't let Sam go and he sold his soul to bring him back. There were days when he wanted to leave this all behind and pack Sam into the Impala and head out to a cabin in the woods where they could live out the rest of their lives there free from hunting where he knows that Sam would be safe and he knows that Sam would do it if that was what he thought Dean really wanted.
"I will be happy anywhere as long as you are with me." Sam looked so beautifully laid out in their bed and it took all Dean not to kiss him. "You are all I need Dean, you are what makes me happy."
Dean needed to see Sam, he needed to feel Sam beneath him to know that he was still here with him, that he hadn't lost him, the one thing that keeps him anchored. "Get changed kid and then watch some more Scooby-Doo." Dean wasn't at all surprised when Jack's eyes lit up at the mention of the cartoon, in the short time he has been alive he has fallen in love with the talking dog.
+*****+
Dean was not surprised to find Sam curled up on their bed reading one of his favorite books Gods of Dusk and the only sign that he had a broken down earlier was the sight of his red eyes and the sight of them made Dean feel like an even bigger jackass. Sam put up a shield acting like the words didn't hurt him but Dean knew different.
Unable to stand the distance between them Dean climbed up into bed next to Sam and he wasn't surprised when Sam stiffen as he wrapped his arms around him resting his head on Sam's shoulder it took a moment or two before Sam relaxed and for him to rest one hand on the arm Dean had placed on his hip.
"I will never see you as a monster. The ones who did this to you? Now they are and will always be the monsters and yeah that includes mom." Dean loves his mom, oh he does but he had never forgiven her for what she had done to Sam.
Shifting till he could look Dean in the eyes Sam's face softened as he saw the regret in them. "I know and I am thankful for that. I was saved because of you, of your love and belief in me. I overcame my destiny and if I could then I think Jack can too. I need to believe in that Jack can change because there are times when I can feel it waking up inside of me.” Sam whispered as he lowered his eyes unable to see the disgust and fear in Dean's eyes.
A callus rough hand cupped Sam's chin forcing him to look him in the eyes. Dean could see the fear in Sam's eyes and while he had his own fear he would do his best to reassure Sam. "If and that is a very big if your powers reawaken we will work together. This time we will not let those sons of bitches in heaven or hell drive us apart. We have proven time and time again when we work together we are stronger than them." Dean promised. 'And I will rip apart anyone who dares to try and take you away from me.'
The way Sam's eyes lit up filled Dean's heart with joy and when Sam pressed his lips against his Dean cupped Sam's cheek and deepened the kiss. The kiss ended far too soon than Dean would have liked as Sam pulled away from him.
"Then can you understand why I want to give Jack a chance? I'm not asking you to like him or trust him but please give me a chance to show him that he chose his own fate." Sam pleaded with Dean.
"For you and only for you baby boy will I try and that is all I can promise." That was all he could promise. 'And I hope that he can be saved Sammy because if he can't then I will be the one to put him down to keep you safe even if that means you hate me.'
All they could do now was to wait and see what the future had in store for them and as long as they had each other they could survive whatever came their way.

















