Hello! I was just curious as to why most prefer autistic person over person with autism? I was always taught the pronoun first thing (boy with depression over depressed boy sorta thing) but I don’t want to continue to use it if it isn’t right. Thank you so much!
Hey, thanks for being a good ally and asking! :-)
For one thing, it makes autism sound like some horrible defect, when it’s just a neurological difference, and an important part of our identity for many of us, just as being LGBTQA+, or Jewish, or Black, is an important part of many people’s identities.
(I’m not trying to compare being autistic with being part of the LGBTQA+ community, or Jewish, or Black–they’re definitely not the same thing, and each targeted group faces different kinds of challenges–but these things are often, as I said, an integral part of people’s identity. And you can see how having someone treat an integral part of one’s identity as a defect that needs to be de-emphasized before one can be seen as a person is insulting, right?)
Example: Imagine you’re a proud gay man (and you may be; I don’t know), and you call yourself a gay man in conversation with someone, and they pat you on the hand and get that special pitying look on their face and say, “Oh, you poor thing, you’re not a gay man; you’re a man WITH gayness! There’s MORE to you than being gay. Don’t let your gayness define you!”
With the obvious subtext of, “Aren’t I enlightened and special for explaining how you’re using the wrong terms for yourself? Because I obviously see this important part of your identity as a defect that must be de-emphasized whether you think so or not.”
That’d be fucked up, huh?
(And I am aware that LGBTQA+ people DO face this kind of thing in the form of that “we love the sinner but hate the sin” bullshit, too–this was just the first example I could think of in my sleep-deprived state. If it was a fucked up example to use, I apologize, and someone please correct me. I was just looking for something that is a positive and wholesome part of many people’s identity, but that which many still seem to look down on and treat as “abnormal.”)
Now, all of that said, there are a FEW autistics who prefer person-first, or who don’t care either way. We’re not a monolithic group. But the VAST MAJORITY of us, prefer identity-first language.
If any of my Fellow Autisms™ wanna chime in with their own two cents, feel free! Just remember that this person ASKED A QUESTION in order to be a better ally, so be nice.
Allistics (aka non-autistic people) feel free to reblog
