#autisticmasking

[jazthepiratequeen]

hate the feeling when my brain feels full of static because i’m overwhelmed

especially when i have to carry on and act normal

[jazthepiratequeen]

There is one thing I actually love masking for.

I used to have a blank face and sit still on rollercoasters because, well I wasn’t exactly good at facial expression regulation, but it was mostly as I thought people only screamed when they were scared so I was waiting for it to scare me.

My family and friends started to make comments on the fact I looked like I wasn’t having fun or I was being a buzzkill (even though I actually loved them and was having lots of fun) so I started to learn to scream like the others did and put my arms in the air. At first I felt stupid and it was draining, like masking usually is, but now it makes it 100x more fun.

[jazthepiratequeen]

How do you guys fool neurotypicals into thinking you’re giving eyecontact?

I look at the eyebrows 👀

[just-1-voice]

Hear from Maisie Soetantyo, Tifanny Joseph, and Tee Unnmasked in Day One's final session about autistic communication and masking. #RepublishedAutomatically https://just1voice.com/neurodiversity/autistic-communication-and-masking/?utm_source=tumblr&utm_medium=social&utm_campaign=revive

[kitauthor]

Removing This One Thing Can Help You Beat Writer's Block

When authors talk about writer's block they discuss it as a fait accompli...something that they're just destined to experience. It's part of being an author, or is it? While there are many reasons why a story or character may not flow onto the page as easily as we want, what often is attributed to writer's block can be traced to a single thing. The good news is once you learn how to look for signs of this one thing in your writing life, you'll see it in other areas of your life. And as I talk about in an upcoming episode of the Holistic Author Show, removing this one thing can also help ease burnout and stress. What is it? Dissonance. I could parrot the dictionary definition of dissonance. If you're a longtime reader of my blogs, that's actually the place where I like to start. But that also wouldn't be quite explaining how dissonance affects our writing, and our life in general. As neurodivergent authors, we often wear masks when dealing with other individuals, whether virtually or in-person. Putting on those masks takes energy. That energy has to come from somewhere, and in my experience ,it comes from our creativity and our ability to accomplish the tasks we want to do. I feel like the musical definition of dissonance works here too. The clashing of sounds that's unpleasant on our ears also happens in our mind. It's the clashing of tasks, the clashing of our environment, our masks, and our true selves. Like someone standing behind you and banging cymbals in your ear, or the tuneless clang-clang of the monkey toy playing symbols, it keeps you from being able to focus. More importantly for authors dissonance makes it difficult for us to draw on our well of inner creativity and storytelling. It doesn't matter if we're writing nonfiction or fiction. I've sat and stared at a paper I was enthusiastic to write for college and my mind simply turned to static and I've also had the same thing happening when diving into the fictional worlds I've created and love. I'm old enough to envision this as the "snow" on a television set.

Old TV turned on to show static, or "snow". What is this dissonance? It's when we have conflicting needs in our environment and within ourselves. For neurodivergent authors, it can often be the challenge of feeling as if we should mask our true selves, while trying to reveal those same true selves through our writing. It can be sensory needs, or not taking breaks between tasks. Wherever we find our inner and outer needs conflicting, that's dissonance, and where at all possible, removing it from our minds and our lives has beneficial effects all around. Want to talk more about this? Reach out! I'll be opening some spaces for affordable author coaching soon! Read the full article

[owlcatsen]

I’m reading Not Nice by Aziz Gazipura. While I read I keep thinking about how stopping being a people pleaser intersects with autistic unmasking. I’m not that far in, but so far I think some of the ideas are obviously not applicable for autistic people. He says confidence and being more assertive means you make more eye contact. He also talks about the idea that the world is actually friendly and that an empowered person speaks directly and honestly and shakes off what others think about them. I think this reflects a certain amount of privilege and isn’t realistic for me. I’m a traumatized poc transgender chronically ill autistic person suffering from burnout who’s reliant on ableist family members. At the same time I think there’s something to taking up space and being able to express one’s feelings and needs assertively. Often times allistics can just deal with it, be uncomfortable, and have to adapt. I’m thinking of what Devon Price has said, something along the lines of, “not being the best little kid in the world anymore.” I think not all autistic people pleasers and maskers can afford to stop their performance. It’s especially frequently not safe for people who also belong to other marginalized identities. This is a balance I’m still trying to find personally. That balance for me right now involves scripting boundary statements with family members, choosing my battles but also letting myself be blunt with people who are safe enough about things that really are core to my wellbeing when I don’t have the spoons or preparedness to be otherwise. I think there’s something internal too, I think autistic masking and people pleasing is traumatizing partially in that so much of it is fawning. I think a lot of my work may not be able to lead me to be as externally spontaneously vibrantly assertive as Gazipura, but I’d like to carry less of these feelings of shame, guilt, and fear. I’d be really interested in hearing from other autistic or otherwise marginalized people pleasers(or ex people pleasers)  and how you toe this line between safety and the wellbeing that comes from being authentic and direct about one’s needs. I’d be interested in how how other Autistic people practice being assertive when it’s so likely people will misinterpret or may even socially punish you.

[dmnsqrl]

#Repost @girls_autistic_journey_ (@get_repost) ・・・ I made this a little while ago with The Little Black Duck #mentalhealth #masking #autisticmasking #differntthinking #positivevibes #autism https://www.instagram.com/p/Br1TasnDWWcYfdNS8HoMko_GzjtcIRoqk8dLn40/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=ievo62fqgrtt