#automysophobia

[one-time-i-dreamt]

I was walking through an abandoned town and found a dumpster full of limited edition Nintendo DS products, and a Hot Topic that was still in business somehow.

[medicaletymologies]

From Ancient Greek αὐτός (self, he, she, it, they, same), μύσος (dirt, uncleanliness, contamination) and φοβέω (to fear)  

[maxwellvex]

Automysophobia (fear of being dirty).

By, and featuring, Deanna.

[spooky-redwing]

For those who actually read my text posts, you can probably gather that I'm stressed. The main causes of my stress aree money (to top it all off, some stole 20 dollars out of the jar that has my tuition money in it. 20 dollars doesn't sound like a lot but it is when your last paycheck was 33 damn dollars & no one is helping you pay these bills) & the fact that I'm moving in 2 months.

I have automysophobia & OCD. I had it horribly in high school after traumatizing events but I've since been treated & while it's not 100% gone, it's way more manageable than it was years ago. While I usually don't have an obsessive compulsion to wash my hands over & over or carry around 10 bottles of hand sanitizer (I only have 3 now, woo! I had 4 but it ran out), when I get stressed, the symptoms return.

I didn't even notice it honestly. I was going to go bed when I looked at hands & saw that they were red, peeling, chapped & just...icky. Then I realized I've been washing my hands a lot more frequently, under the guise of being awed by the new soap my mom bought for the bathroom. 

This is not ok. This is literally the worst time in the world to have a relapse of sorts. 

I just hope things settle down so I won't be triggered anymore & I can begin on recovering again. I hope to be ok again before Disney.

[breathenostalgia]

CUTIE :') today was so fun

[breathenostalgia]

automysophobia replied to your post: i gotta go to therapy and i’m really not feeling...

you’ll be fine sweety <3

sigh thank you beautiful

[phobiafiles-blog-blog]