in asheville, havent had wifi or power or running water since friday and hoping this posts. i know theres already so many posts out there like this and i know of all the google docs and stuff, but i have basically no cash to work with at the moment or use when i evacuate. if you can spare a couple bucks, please send it my way, i have a c&sh&pp card coming in the mail soon.
OLD POST (INFO WILL BE UPDATED AND CHANGED, EVENTUALLY):
Despicable Minions (DM AU): Gru and Lucy (headcanons)
Yeah, yeah, I know I said I'll be uploading some pokemon posts, however, as I have nothing prepared from this topic, how about we switch back to Despicable Me/Minions this time?
I actually had this planned for a while now, just didn't send it here.
Also you can be prepared I'll eventually do something similar for the girls, Dru and Gru Jr. Can't tell you when exactly, but it will come, for sure.
But before you continue, let me just say: I made adjustments in terms of timeline because of how inconsistent it gets in canon films.
Alright, no more yapping, let's get to Gru and Lucy.
Grucian “Gru” Felonius Gru-Wilde (nee Gru) ♂️
Born on 28th September 1964 (Libra = the Scales).
Cis man (he/him), most likely heteroromantic gray-asexual (has never thought about his orientation in the first place).
Age:
Minions (1970): 5 - 6 years old
Rise of Gru (1976): 11 - 12 years old
DM1 (2012): 47 - 48 years old
DM2 & DM3 (2013): 48 - 49 years old
DM4 (2014): 49 - 50 years old
Despicable Minions (2025): 60 - 61 years old
Facts:
Gru is ambidextrous but found out after he started attending Lycée Pas Bon - until then, he had no idea and thought he’s right-handed.
Gru is able to fluently speak English and German plus he can speak French and Spanish a little. He also tried to learn Minionese but failed…
Gru has an undiagnosed ASD (specifically Asperger syndrome) and was dealing with PTSD for a long time (Minions partially helped him get better, athough it were the girls who had the greatest positive impact on his mental health). He might also have developed some kind of social anxiety (thankfully it got away over time).
When being named, his parents weren’t very creative, to be honest…
Gru’s two years older than Maxime and Valentina because: 1) he’s born in September and 2) he had to repeat one year because he refused to attend it due to constant bullying (and because of how Marlena was treating him)... Kevin, Knuckles and Nefario had a really hard time convincing him to continue the needed education.
Out of the whole tribe, Kevin, Stuart, Bob and Mel are the minions Gru trusts the most. Dave is also on the list, right after them (he's not higher, mainly because of his occasional clumsiness).
Gru is very aware of the minions being able to speak normally, as well as of the fact most of them are actually smarter than they appear, but keeps it to himself - the only minion who knows that Gru knows is Mel (and the he actually talk to his boss in humans’ language when nobody is looking/listening). Gru also actually enjoys watching minions’ silly behavior, even though he’d never admitted it publically.
Gru personally took care of Mel when he was recovering from “the incident”: he helped him to get back on his feet, taking him to his office, giving the injured minion small tasks to do, so he could feel important from having something to do yet didn’t overwork himself. Gru also gave Mel the iconic teal cap (although it was Mel himself who sewed that iconic “I ♥️ GRU” on it).
Gru’s body started struggling with processing milk when he reached the age of 40, so nowadays, he tries to avoid drinking this liquid - I noticed that the Wiki says he should be lactose-intolerant (https://despicableme.fandom.com/wiki/Felonius_Gru/Trivia), yet in “Rise of Gru”, he ate ice cream and it wasn’t a sorbet. I know Wiki truly isn’t a reliable source, but… what an interesting “error”.
Gru has never done anything to his neighbor's dog, despite his words implying otherwise: Gru simply caught the dog and gave it to Dave. The dog was returned to Fred after the events of DM1, off-screen.
Gru isn’t much of a picky eater.
Gru is very ticklish but hates being reminded of it - he’s a strong and powerful hero, after all.
Gru’s current house is actually a Wild Knuckles’ one: Knuckles bequeathed this building to him (before leaving our world forever in 1999). By the way, during Gru’s years at Lycée Pas Bon, the minions were the ones who fixed and even rebuilt the whole house (Gru couldn’t take all of them with him, so Knuckles took care of them).
Gru is the older twin, being born some minutes before Dru.
Lucy’s dad was a New Zealander who lived in Australia for some time, so this is why she can mimic an Australian or a New Zealander accent so well.
Speaking of her dad, Lucy has always been his little girl: the two of them were very close, spending most of their free time together. But Elliot (Lucy’s dad) was also spoiling her, unable to say “no” whenever she made puppy eyes at him. This is why Lucy struggles so much with parenting in DM3, as she's never understood the healthy middle-ground between being “too strict” and “too soft”.
Lucy’s tendency to avoid facing consequences is something she's been doing for a long time (long before she has ever met Gru) - after the marriage, she gradually stopped doing this but it took a while. Btw, this “bad habit” of hers is actually one of the reasons she hasn't reunited with her brother yet.
Lucy has ADHD and when she was younger, a lot of people found it difficult to understand what she's saying due to cluttering in speech.
Lucy is a morning person, often waking up around 6 am without needing an alarm clock.
Lucy first didn’t understand the minions and didn’t view them as equals, but rather as some “silly servants” (as we can see in the deleted scene on this website: https://www.nolwennroberts.com/work/people-9nanm). She changed her mind about a year after DM4.
Mel used to be distant and cold to Lucy. He warmed up to her just recently but even now, he's still not trusting her fully… I mean, she’s one of two people he doesn’t allow to touch him (the other being Marlena, of course).
Silas is one of few people knowing her family is related to Scarlet & Herb Overkill and to Wild Knuckles and he kept it to himself, so the other AVL agents wouldn't expel her from the group. Even Gru isn’t aware of this…
One of those unsuccessful dates Lucy mentioned in DM2 was actually pretty dangerous, as she was in a relationship with a supervillain and he found out she's with AVL (despite she having no idea about his, ahem, “business”).
Lucy went outside with her friends shopping, while her brother’s way home was delayed because he got into a discussion with a professor in the university’s library. These events were what saved both of them from the same fate their parents had to face… At that time, Lucy was around 26 years old.
Lucy has a sweet tooth, even though it’s not visible on her body (I envy her metabolism’s speed, not gonna lie) - what a nice coincidence Gru makes one of the best pancakes.
Lucy is a little taller than Gru, even without wearing heels. With them, it’s just more obvious.
Similar to her husband, Lucy is also an older sibling but while Gru is an older twin, Lucy and her own brother have a two-year gap between them.
