#avoiding conflict

[unwelcome-ozian]

[adhdnap]

I'm in these and I don't like it.

[spicylove4ever]

Why don’t Elsa and Anna argue?

I’ve noticed pretty much a lot of people complain about them not arguing “like sisters do” and I thought that it was in some way a good question, even if it was born by people who just wanted drama (as if it wasn’t already enough in that movie XD). 

But the reason they don’t actually argue, is because THEY AVOID IT. Notice there was a few times when Elsa and Anna were about to argue, like when Elsa confessed Anna she has been hearing voices and she didn’t tell her, or the “Don’t follow/run into fire” time. All of those times, they simply just start softening their tone when it goes too loud. 

Exhibit A:

Elsa: what were you thinking? You could have been killed! You can’t just follow me into fire!

Anna: then don’t run into fire!

Anna: .... (here it is, she stops before letting herself follow the previous kind of line, and then goes with....)

Anna: (softer tone) you’re not being careful, Elsa.

Elsa: ... (might be still thinking about how Anna could have died if she hadn’t spot Anna between the flames, but instead thanks to Anna’s line she ends up with the think of it’s her fault Anna got exposed to that danger because she just wanted to help oh, yeah? how, Anna, HOW?)

Elsa: (sighs) I’m sorry.

Anyway, I believe I know the reason, or to be precise, the reasons why does that happen. 

Elsa and Anna just want to avoid something that could separate them and after all the time separated, that’s just not an option for them.

They are both a bunch of sweet rays of sunshine who don’t want negativity on their lives.

 They have probably talked about this stuff and decided to put away anything that is not a candy-kingdom-like feeling on their relationship. 

Not any of them want to upset the other. Again, for all that happened when they were torn appart as childs.

And the cherry on top of why they don’t argue: Last time things got out of control, this is what happened. 

Clearly Elsa doesn’t want that to happen again. 

If you ask me, I think this wasn’t exactly a healthy solution. After all, to avoid these things, Elsa, who said there wouldn’t be more secrets, kept secrets (”I’m not where I’m meant to be”), which would upset Anna if were told. Counterproductive, to define it. It all looked perfect for Anna, but when the time came, things started to crumble until it all fell down and Anna reached the bottom (Next Right Thing), and had to find a another way out both literal and allegorically. 

Edit: 

Also, this is the exact reason Elsa didn’t barely say anything before pushing Anna and Olaf away! 

Elsa wanted Anna to be safe, and she knew Anna would have died if she had go with Elsa through the Dark Sea, or both would had died. “The Dark Sea is too dangerous for us both” was all her explanation to not allowing Anna to go with her. Elsa didn’t extend her point of view, or else she would have had to say something that would be a polite version of “you would be a drag” or even could have ended pointing out that Anna has been keeping Elsa from doing things out of her worry and that should be over so what was coming next was done. And since Elsa didn’t actually want to say mean things to Anna, and Anna exposed quite clear her point of wanting to keep Elsa away from danger, so it would have been pointless for Elsa to try to convince her, she did what she did.

[izzyanne]

Enneagram Type Nine:The Peacemaker Aesthetic

[unwelcome-ozian]

[unwelcome-ozian]

[izzyanne]

Enneagram Type 9:The Peacemaker Things We Love Aesthetic

[skittycat06]

Being a people pleaser sucks sometimes because when you try to break out if it and are in kind of that "transitional phase" (where you're aware of it and starting to break out of it but still slip back into people pleasing tendancies in certain scenarios) you can be making progress but then something can happen that makes you fall back into old habits 😔

and even when you are making progress of trying to break out of it, your brain is constantly fighting you on it, trying to convince you you're wrong for standing up for yourself, setting boundaries, calling stuff out when you're hurt, ect.