the first sign that something was wrong should have been how clingy you had been that morning.
and maybe leah would have picked up on it straight away however, today she was running on little sleep after three days of solo-parenting while alessia was away on ella's hen do.
not unusual clingy. not the kind where you needed help finding your shoes or wanted leah to fix your wonky ponytail. this was different.
every time leah moved, you seemed to appear beside her. when leah wandered into the kitchen to make breakfast, you climbed onto a stool at the island and watched her crack eggs into a bowl.
when leah crossed the room to grab something from the fridge, you hopped down and followed. by the time breakfast was ready, you were practically leaning against leah's leg.
leah glanced down as she stirred the eggs. "morning, shadow."
you wrapped both arms around her knee without hesitation. "mornin'."
"what're you doing down there?" leah asked with a small laugh.
"huggin'."
"clearly."
"'cause i wanted to." you said quietly, the answer was simple enough, but it made leah smile.
normally you would have been chatting non-stop by now, telling your mama about a dream you'd had or asking a hundred random questions before nine in the morning.
instead you seemed perfectly content just being close.
the pattern continued throughout the morning. leah disappeared upstairs to get dressed and heard little footsteps following her a few seconds later.
by the time she'd reached her bedroom, you were standing in the doorway watching her pull clothes from her wardrobe.
"you okay, angel?" leah asked, tugging a jumper over her head.
"yep." you answered in the same quiet tone as you leant against the doorway.
"you're staring at me."
"no i'm not."
"you definitely are."
a tiny smile tugged at your lips before disappearing almost as quickly as it arrived. leah noticed it. she also noticed how quickly the smile faded.
usually once you started giggling it snowballed into full-blown chaos. today, though, you simply stayed where you were, lingering quietly in the doorway.
even when leah brushed her teeth, she caught sight of your little blonde head in the mirror. you sat cross-legged on the bathroom floor, chin resting on her knees as you swung esme the elephant around in circles.
leah pulled the toothbrush from her mouth. "you know this is weird, right?"
"a little bit." you said quietly, continuing throwing your esme the elephant in the air.
"a little bit?" leah echoed as you hummed.
"maybe a lot." that earned a proper laugh from both of you, but once again the moment passed quickly. the giggle faded and you settled back into silence, still hovering nearby as though you couldn't quite bear being in another room.
the thing was, you had seemed absolutely fine all weekend. alessia had left on friday morning just before you were going to school, for ella's hen.
after many hugs, kisses, many promises to facetime, one dramatic declaration from you that's you'd miss your mummy forever and not to forgot alessia's ramble of do's and don'ts for the weekend - alessia finally made it on her way for her weekend away.
since then there had been movie nights, pancakes, facetime's before bed and enough sweets to make alessia question leah's parenting choices when she got home.
but despite all of that, something felt different today.
but by the time they were getting ready to leave for sunday dinner at leah's parents' house, you had managed to remain within arm's reach for almost the entire morning.
leah was sitting on the sofa pulling on her trainers when she felt a familiar weight press against her side. looking down, she found you once again attached to her arm.
"what am i going to do with you?" leah asked fondly, pressing a kiss to your hair which had spent her too long doing
you just shrugged. "keep me."
"oh, is that the plan?" leah laughed lightly at your innocent response.
"yep."
"just keep you?"
"yep, forever."
leah laughed and crouched down in front of her, brushing a stray loose strand of blonde hair back into place. "sounds expensive."
that finally earned a proper grin.
"you excited for your sunday dinner?" leah asked, knowing you quite like the odd sunday when football games didn't fall on those days where you'd just be surrounded by family, a trait which you definitely got from your mummy.
you nodded immediately. "yeah!"
"see grandma and grandad?"
another nod.
"the cousins?"
"yep."
leah smiled. "going to see henry."
the reaction was tiny. so small most people would have missed it entirely. the smile faltered for a split second, you shoulders drooping before you quickly straightened again. "yeah."
leah frowned slightly. "everything okay, angel?"
you nodded so quickly it was almost suspicious. "yep."
"you sure? you can tell mama if somethings wrong"
"i sure."
this time you wouldn't meet leah's eyes, focusing instead on the zip of your jacket. leah had the distinct feeling she was missing something important, but before she could ask again, you reached out and grabbed her hand.
"we go now?"
leah looked down at the little fingers wrapped tightly around hers and squeezed gently.
"come on then angel"
you immediately brightened and followed her out to the car, still holding onto leah's hand. neither of you realised that by the end of the day, leah would finally understand why her little shadow hadn't wanted to let her out of sight all morning.
—
sunday dinners with the williamson's were rarely quiet.
the house was already buzzing by the time leah pulled onto the driveway. even from outside she could see movement through the windows and hear the faint sound of voices carrying out every time the front door opened.
it was the same every sunday; loud, chaotic and completely impossible to escape a conversation for more than five minutes.
the moment leah opened the front door, the familiar warmth hit her. the smell of roast potatoes, gravy and freshly baked yorkshire puddings drifted from the kitchen, mixing with the sounds of laughter coming from what seemed like every room in the house.
her dad was carrying a stack of plates towards the dining room while attempting to have a conversation over his shoulder. amanda was standing in the kitchen doorway directing people around despite nobody actually listening to her instructions.
leah's grandmother was settled comfortably in her favourite armchair, issuing orders from afar with the confidence of somebody who knew everyone would eventually do what she wanted anyway.
you stepped inside beside leah, your hand still tucked securely in leah's. usually you'd already be halfway through the house by now with alessia calling ahead for you to slow down as you would race off to find someone to play with or investigating whatever snacks were sitting unattended on the kitchen counter.
today you lingered close, letting leah hang her coat up before slowly following her further inside.
"there's my girls!" amanda appeared almost instantly, pulling leah into a quick hug before crouching down to greet you properly.
"hello, sweetheart."
"hi, nana." you said quietly as you hugged her, the smell of home cooking surrounding you.
amanda smiled immediately but even she seemed to notice the quieter-than-usual greeting, but before she could comment, a familiar voice echoed from somewhere deeper in the house.
"leah!"
the next thing leah knew, her five-year-old cousin henry came hurtling around the corner at alarming speed.
"woah buddy!" leah barely had time to brace herself before he crashed into her legs. she laughed, steadying him with both hands before he sent himself sprawling onto the floor. "there he is."
henry grinned up at her proudly. "guess what le!"
"should i be worried?" leah asked as you sat quietly on the floor taking your shoes off, pulling lightly at the laces.
"no!" the answer came far too quickly.
leah narrowed her eyes suspiciously. "that wasn't convincing." as an excited giggle came from henry.
but then, finally, he spotted you sat not far from leah. his face lit up immediately. "y/n!"
usually that was all it took. usually the two children would disappear before any adult could stop the two of you. you'd both spend the afternoon building dens, making up games or getting yourselves into enough mischief that somebody inevitably ended up apologising for the two of you later.
today, though, you didn't run forward. didn't throw your arms around him. didn't immediately start asking questions.
instead you offered a small smile. "hi, henry" henry just blinked. the greeting wasn't rude. just... quiet. different an even leah noticed it.
for a second henry seemed unsure what to do with that response then his excitement took over again. "come see my lego!"
before leah could answer, henry had already grabbed her hand. "made loads of new stuff."
"oh yeah?" leah laughed lightly as henry rambled on about his lego creations, you hanging by leah quietly.
henry simply laughed and started tugging her towards the living room. "come on!"
and because leah hadn't seen him properly in weeks, leah allowed herself to be dragged along. family gatherings were one of the few places she got to see some of her younger cousins and extended family regularly, and henry had always had a habit of making sure she saw every single one of his latest creations.
"alright, alright," leah laughed. "show me then." henry took off immediately and leah followed behind him and a few steps behind leah came you, quiet. silent almost as if you wouldn't know you were there unless you seen her.
your small trainers padded softly against the floorboards as you trailed after them while henry excitedly chattered away about dinosaurs and spaceships you simple listened.
watching henry cling to leah's arm. watching leah laugh at whatever story he was telling. watching him pull her attention away over and over again.
at first nobody noticed: not henry, not leah, not any of the adults who were busy preparing dinner.
but you noticed and you followed them into the living room, something uncomfortable settled quietly in her chest. a feeling you didn't quite understand yet.
only that every time henry made leah smile, you seemed to feel it a little bit more. at first nobody noticed, not really.
there were too many people in the house and too much noise for anyone to pay attention to the fact that one little girl wasn't quite herself.
the living room was full of overlapping conversations, the kitchen even louder as people drifted in and out stealing roast potatoes before dinner was ready.
every surface seemed occupied by a family member, and somewhere in the middle of it all henry was enthusiastically showing leah every single lego creation he'd built since she'd last visited.
to everyone else, it probably looked completely normal. henry was excited, leah was catching up with family.
the house was loud, busy and full of people who all wanted a piece of her attention. so nobody thought twice about it. you tried not to either.
you followed them into the living room and sat quietly while henry launched into an explanation about a complicated lego spaceship. leah listened with a smile, asking questions and making the appropriate impressed noises whenever he pointed out a feature he was particularly proud of.
you sat nearby on the sofa, eyes drifting between leah and henry and the programme on the tv which you couldn't really understand as it wasn't your usual cartoon watch.
every now and then you'd think about joining the conversation, opening you mouth only to close it again when henry immediately started talking over the top of whatever leah had been about to say.
it happened once, then twice and then again. eventually you stopped trying.
when henry proudly placed the spaceship in leah's hands, leah gasped dramatically. "that's actually brilliant."
"i know." he smiled proudly as leah inspected the small lego creation.
"you built all this yourself?" henry nodded so enthusiastically leah thought his head might fall off. you watched the exchange from your seat on the sofa.
normally you'd be climbing all over leah by now. normally you'd be sitting pressed against her side, helping examine the lego or proudly showing off whatever you’d built too.
instead you remained where you were. quiet and almost invisible as you held your esme the elephant just that little bit tighter.
as the afternoon continued, the feeling sitting inside your chest started growing. not enough to make you cry. not enough to make a fuss.
just enough to make everything feel a little bit wrong.
when henry climbed onto the sofa beside leah, you settled herself on the other side of the sofa, still close enough to be near her. not close enough to compete
you pulled at the sleeve of your jumper while listening to henry chatter away beside you. every few minutes he'd grab leah's arm to show her something else, and every single time leah's attention immediately shifted back to him.
not because she was doing anything wrong. not because she was ignoring you.
but because henry was four years old and excited and desperate to show somebody all the things he'd been waiting weeks to share.
still, you noticed. you noticed every time.
when henry made leah laugh, you found yourself staring at the carpet. when henry leaned against her shoulder, you shuffled slightly further away. when henry demanded her attention again, you looked down at her hands.
nobody noticed; not henry, not leah. not even you fully understood why you felt the way you did. you just knew there was a strange ache sitting beneath her ribs.
but because it wasn't really about henry. not entirely anyways. henry was your friend, your cousin. most days you adored him and most times you saw him the two of you were inseparable.
this ache feeling had started before you left your house with your mama. it had started when you'd woken up that morning and realised your mummy still wasn't home two days ago.
to most people that wasn't very long but to a five year old it was enormous. the house had felt different without alessia there. bedtime was different, breakfast had felt different.
even facetiming your mummy hadn't quite fixed the problem because every call ended the same way, with alessia saying goodbye and promising she'd be home soon as you sat with a pout and sad eyes.
soon felt like forever when you were five. you'd tried to be brave about it, you smiled during the facetime calls. you'd tell mummy about your day, you'd laugh when your mummy showed the ridiculous costumes she'd convinced ella to wear.
but every time the call ended, you felt that little empty space all over again. the place where your mummy should have been. and now, sitting in a crowded living room full of people, that feeling seemed even bigger.
because usually when you missed your mummy, your mama was there. leah would be the person you curled up beside, the person you followed around the house, the person who always seemed to know when something was wrong.
but only leah was busy, not on purpose and definitely not because she didn't care. just because henry wanted her attention too.
and for the first time all weekend, you found yourself wondering whether there was enough of leah to go around and that thought made your stomach twist.
so instead of saying anything, you simply sat quietly now with a colouring book and some pencils glancing over every time henry made leah laugh again. the ache in your chest growing just a little heavier each time.
by lunchtime, leah's mum, amanda had started to notice something was off. not enough to say anything at first. just the little things.
the way you weren't running around causing chaos with henry like you usually would be, the way you sat quietly colouring in longer than you usually would be. the way you seemed to be watching leah more than participating in whatever was going on around her.
amanda had spent enough years raising children to know when one was carrying around feelings they didn't quite know how to explain. still, she kept an eye on things and waited.
by dinner, leah's grandma had noticed too. the entire family was squeezed around the dining table, conversations overlapping from one end to the other.
plates were being passed around, somebody was arguing about football, and amanda was trying unsuccessfully to stop people stealing roast potatoes before everyone had been served.
through all of it, leah's granmda sat quietly observing. she'd always been good at that. while everyone else got caught up in the noise, she noticed the things people missed.
and right now, she was watching two children sitting at opposite ends of the table or more specifically, she was watching one child and one very distracted adult.
henry was halfway through explaining something incredibly important about dinosaurs. at least, incredibly important according to him. "and then the t-rex bites him," he announced dramatically.
leah nodded with complete seriousness. "seems a bit rude."
"it wasn't rude." henry said as he pushed more food onto his fork.
"no?" leah asked as henry shook his head finished what was in his mouth before speaking.
"he was hungry."
"fair enough."
henry grinned triumphantly before immediately launching into another explanation. leah listened patiently, occasionally asking questions or pretending to be shocked by whatever twist the story took next.
the entire exchange was harmless. sweet, even but sitting three seats away was you and leah's grandma could see exactly what nobody else could.
every time henry spoke, you looked towards your mama. every time leah laughed, your eyes followed. every time henry tugged on leah's sleeve to get her attention, you seemed to sink a little further into her chair.
you weren’t throwing a tantrum, wasn't sulking. wasn't demanding attention. that was what made it so obvious. you were trying very hard not to let anyone know you were upset.
leah's grandma's heart immediately softened. she glanced across the table towards amanda. "you seeing what i'm seeing?"
amanda followed her gaze and at first she looked confused. but then her eyes landed on you and suddenly she saw it too. "oh."
"exactly." for a moment neither woman spoke, they simply watched.
watched as you pushed a pea around your plate without eating it. watched you force polite little smiles whenever someone spoke to you. watched you glance towards leah every few seconds without even seeming to realise she was doing it.
most importantly, they watched what happened whenever henry got leah's attention. because every single time, your shoulders seemed to droop, just a little. just enough.
enough for two mothers to spot it immediately. "bless her," amanda murmured quietly as leah's grandma hummed in agreement.
thea older woman took a sip of tea before speaking again. "she's jealous."
amanda considered it for a second and normally she would've laughed at the idea. you adored henry. the two children spent most family gatherings joined at the hip.
but looking at you now...
watching the way you kept staring towards leah...
watching the way you looked so much smaller than usual...
amanda slowly nodded. "yeah maybe." leah's grandma continued watching. "not really of henry"
"no."
"just what he has." amanda's expression softened. because she understood exactly what the other women meant.
henry had leah's attention, not all of it. as leah had continuously tried to involve you but you just seemed so sullen.
but henry had enough of leah's attention and today, that mattered. especially for a little girl who'd spent the entire weekend missing her mummy.
amanda glanced towards the empty chair alessia usually occupied whenever they came for dinner then back towards you. the pieces clicked together almost instantly. "and she's missing her mum."
that made leah's grandma sigh because of course she was.
alessia had only been gone a couple of days, but to a five-year-old those couple of days probably felt enormous. the facetime calls helped, the reassurances helped.
but they weren't the same as having your mum there to cuddle into at bedtime. they weren't the same as hearing her laugh from the next room.
amanda looked back at you again. you were now staring down at her yorkshire pudding, absentmindedly poking at it with your fork. not eating. not joining the conversation. not asking your usual questions. not being herself.
the contrast was impossible to miss once you saw it.
"both," amanda agreed quietly and for a few moments they simply watching you. neither of them liking the sadness they saw there.
because underneath the jealousy and the clinginess and the quietness was something much simpler. you weren't angry. you weren't being difficult. you were just a little girl who missed her mummy.
and who, for the first time all day, was starting to wonder if you might be losing some of leah's attention too.
amanda's gaze shifted towards her daughter. completely oblivious. still listening to henry explain dinosaurs as though it was the most fascinating conversation she'd ever had.
amanda shook her head affectionately. "that girl hasn't got a clue, has she?"
leah's grandma snorted into her tea. "not a single clue."
"think we should mention it?"
leah's grandma looked back towards you. the little girl chose that exact moment to glance towards leah again. a tiny, hopeful look crossing your face before henry immediately demanded her attention once more.the hope disappeared just as quickly.
leah's grandma expression softened. "oh i think we'd better."
—
leah was helping clear plates when amanda finally decided enough was enough.
dinner had mostly finished, people beginning to drift back towards the living room with cups of tea and half-finished conversations. you were back colouring in, concentrating on staying perfectly in the line.
leah was standing at the kitchen counter stacking plates when she felt her mum appear beside her. amanda didn't say anything at first. just nodded towards the doorway. "you need to go talk to tiny."
leah blinked. "what?"
amanda simply gave her a look and tilted her head towards the living room again. leah followed her gaze automatically and immediately her stomach dropped.
you lying by yourself in the far corner, colouring but not talking, not following henry around, not doing much of anything really. instead just a shell of yourself sitting there small and quiet
the sight hit leah harder than she expected. "what's wrong?"
amanda folded her arms. "you tell me."
leah frowned and looked again. really looked this time and suddenly she saw everything she'd somehow managed to miss all day.
the way your shoulders seemed permanently slumped. the way you'd barely spoken throughout dinner. the way your eyes kept drifting towards leah every few minutes before quickly looking away again. the way you'd spent the entire afternoon hovering nearby without ever actually joining in.
waiting and watching.
leah groaned softly and scrubbed a hand across her face. "oh no." amanda just nodded knowingly.
"i've been an idiot." leah whispered a wave of guilt spreading across her immediately.
amanda's expression softened immediately. "no, you've been distracted."
leah still looked guilty. "same thing."
amanda squeezed her arm. "then fix it." and leah she didn't need telling twice.
she found you exactly where she'd been left. lying in the corner with your colouring but you were colouring slow as if your mind was not really in it.
the television was on in the background, everyone was talking around you moving in and out to go and get dessert but somehow you seemed completely separate from all of it.
lost in your own little world, leah's chest tightened. "hey angel"
you looked up immediately. the sad expression disappeared so quickly leah almost thought she'd imagined it.
"hi." you said quietly dropping the blue pencil that was previously in your hand on the page and sitting up.
leah sat beside you. close enough that her shoulders touched yours. neither of you spoke for a moment. leah simply sat there quietly, letting you settle into her presence.
eventually she nudged you gently with her shoulder. "you alright?" you just shrugged, the kind of shrug that wasn't actually an answer.
leah smiled softly. "wanna tell me what's going on?"
for a few moments you simply stared at the carpet and leah waited patiently. she'd learned a long time ago that rushing children rarely got you anywhere.
eventually, in a voice so quiet leah almost missed it;
"when's mummy coming home?"
the question caught her completely off guard but for a second all the pieces clicked together. the clinginess that morning. the quietness all afternoon. the sadness. the jealousy.
it wasn't just henry. it had never just been henry.
leah's expression immediately softened. "oh, angel." you kept your eyes fixed firmly on the floor as though you were embarrassed you'd even asked.
"tonight."
the reaction was instant, your head snapped up. "as in tonight, tonight?"
leah couldn't help smiling. "yeah."
"what time?"
"i'm not actually sure."
you frowned immediately. "that's not a time."
leah laughed, as she held you just that little bit tighter, "no, i suppose it isn't."
you considered leah's answer carefully, "will it be dark?"
"probably."
"really dark?"
"probably really dark."
you let out the most dramatic sigh leah had ever heard. the kind of sigh only a five-year-old could manage. leah reached over and smoothed a hand through your blonde hair. "you miss her?"
a tiny nod.
"i just wanted mummy."
the words shattered leah's heart. not because they were dramatic. not because you were crying but because of how simple they were. honest and raw. the kind of truth children delivered without even trying.
leah immediately opened her arms. "c'mere angel." you practically climbed into her lap as though you'd been waiting for permission all day.
leah wrapped both arms around you and immediately felt the little girl melt against her chest. there it was. the thing you'd been looking for all afternoon.
comfort and safety.
the place you always ended up whenever something felt too big. leah rested her cheek against soft blonde hair. "you know she misses you too, right?"
"yeah."
"she probably talked about you every five minutes." leah said as she rubbed a hand against your back a tiny smile appeared on your face, "really?"
"oh definitely."
"even with auntie ella?"
leah laughed quietly. "especially with auntie ella."
that finally earned a proper giggle. small but real. the first one leah heard in hours. for a moment she thought that might be the end of it.
then she looked down and noticed something still lingering behind your eyes. a hesitation, a worry. something you hadn't quite said out loud yet and suddenly leah understood.
"angel." you looked up. "did you think i was spending more time with henry than you today?"
the silence answered before you did. you immediately looked away chewing slightly on your bottom lip.
"oh angel." leah cooed, she felt awful, absolutely awful. because now she could see it from your perspective.
missing your mum all weekend. coming somewhere familiar looking for comfort then watching henry monopolise leah's attention for most of the day. of course you'd felt pushed aside.
"you know i love henry, don't you?" leah spoke quietly but with a sense of rawness. you gave a small nod. "he's family."
you nodded again and leah gently lifted your chin until those familiar blue eyes met hers. "but so are you."
you blinked and leah smiled softly. "actually." she brushed a piece of blonde hair behind your ear. "you're my girl, my angel."
instantly your lip wobbled and leah felt her own chest ache because somehow those five words always seemed to mean everything.
a tear threatened to spill from the corner of your eye. leah your her forehead immediately. "you don't have to compete with henry." another kiss. "you don't have to compete with anybody."
and another. "i've got enough love for all of you."
that was all it took. you buried your face in leah's shoulder and wrapped both arms tightly around her waist. leah held you just as tightly back.
holding you close. holding you safely. holding you exactly where you should have been all day.
—
the difference afterwards was immediate. the heaviness seemed to disappear from you almost entirely.
you smiled more. talked more.even joined in when henry came over to show everyone another dinosaur fact he'd apparently learned.
most importantly, you stopped watching leah from across the room because now she was right beside you. where she wanted to be.
when the family migrated back into the living room, you followed. when leah sat down, you immediately tucked herself against her side.
when henry wandered over carrying another toy dinosaur, you simply leaned into leah's shoulder and listened rather than retreating into yourself.
much happier, much lighter.
to his credit, even henry eventually noticed. "tiny tired."
leah looked down at the young practically draped across her side. "aren't we all buddy?"
by eight o'clock, you were barely functioning. your eyes kept drifting shut mid-conversation. every few minutes your head would slowly droop onto leah's shoulder before jerking awake again.
the entire family found it endlessly entertaining. "she's fighting for her life over there," holly, leah's cousin whispered.
leah laughed quietly, you glared at them all then yawned so hard your eyes watered but five minutes later you'd lost the battle completely.
curled underneath a blanket against leah's side. one tiny hand wrapped firmly around the sleeve of leah's jumper as though you needed physical proof that leah wasn't going anywhere.
leah glanced down, you were already asleep. long eyelashes resting against flushed cheeks. mouth slightly open, breathing slow and steady. completely out cold.
across the room amanda smiled knowingly. "there she is."
leah looked up. "what?" amanda nodded towards the sleeping child. "our tiny."
leah followed her gaze back down. at you who trusted her enough to fall asleep wrapped around her side. you who had spent the entire weekend missing your mum. you who had worried there wasn't enough room for you in leah’s heart.
and you who had finally fallen asleep feeling safe again. something warm settled in leah's chest.
leah leaned down and pressed a gentle kiss to the top of your head. "always has been."
almost as if you'd heard her, you made a sleepy little noise and immediately snuggled even closer. the entire room laughed softly, leah just smiled then settled deeper into the sofa.
because there was absolutely no chance she was moving now, she'd think about how to get you in the car later on. but she wasn't moving, not right now. not when a sleepy little girl had chosen her as the safest place in the room.
and not when, in a few hours, alessia would finally walk through the front door and find both of her favourite people exactly where she'd expect them to be curled up together on a sofa, waiting for her to come home.
What begins as a heavy prank devised by Beth Mead ends up bordering on disaster in the Arsenal locker room. After using professional makeup to fake a black eye on Y/N, Leah Williamson's reaction exceeds all expectations: the captain enters a state of protective fury that puts the entire team on alert.
Based on this request-> here, I hope you like it!!
---
The idea was Beth Mead's. That should have been your first, second, and third red flag. When Beth has free time, a twisted sense of humor, and a professional makeup kit, the result is never world peace.
“You don’t dare, Y/N. You’re too afraid of the Cap,” Beth said, sitting on a gym stool, twirling a blending brush between her fingers with the smile of an absolute villain.
“It’s not fear, Beth. It’s respect for my physical integrity,” you replied, though you were already letting yourself be convinced. “Leah has that protective instinct that is scary sometimes. If she thinks someone has touched me, she won’t ask for a name; she’ll ask for the nearest hospital.”
“Exactly! That’s the best part,” Beth insisted, leaning toward your face with an eyeshadow palette. “Besides, I want to see if this concealer is as good as they say. Stay still.”
For twenty minutes, Beth worked with the concentration of a surgeon. She mixed deep purples, greenish-yellows for a "healing" effect, and a touch of clear gloss to simulate recent swelling. The result was terrifying. When you looked in the mirror, you let out a gasp.
It looked real.
Too real.
“Does it hurt?” Beth asked dramatically.
“It’s going to hurt when Leah sees this.”
“It’s perfect. Now, get in there, look like the world is ending, and don’t say a word.”
The Arsenal locker room was a chaos of laughter, background music, and the sound of boots hitting the floor. Leah was in the center, one leg resting on the bench, reviewing tactical notes with Kim Little and Katie McCabe.
She was the picture of calm and leadership. You walked in with your shoulders slumped. You didn't look at anyone. You went straight to your locker, which happened to be two meters away from Leah, and began rummaging through your backpack with slow, clumsy movements.
The silence wasn't immediate, but it spread like a virus. First Katie went quiet. Then Kim. And finally, Leah looked up.
“Y/N? We’ve been waiting for you to...”
The sentence froze in mid-air. You saw the color drain from Leah’s face in a second, replaced by a deathly paleness. She dropped the papers on the floor without even noticing.
“Look at me,” Leah said, approaching where you were.
You turned slowly, letting the overhead light highlight the reddish glow and deep purple of your eye. She took a step toward you, her breathing becoming heavy. Her hands trembled slightly as she tried to reach for your face, but she stopped before touching you, as if she were afraid to break you.
“Who was it?” Her voice was low, a husky whisper that carried more danger than a scream.
“Leah, really, I’m fine, it was just an incident in the...”
“I said: who... was it?” This time the locker room trembled. Leah turned toward the rest of the players, who were watching the scene with wide eyes.
Beth, who at first was in the back holding back a laugh, stopped smiling when she saw that Leah’s jaw was so tight it looked like it was going to shatter.
“Does anyone want to explain to me why my girlfriend walks into the locker room like this?”
There was absolute silence.
A bottle fell to the floor somewhere.
Leah took another step toward the center of the locker room. “If someone touched her, we’re settling this right now.”
You started to enter real panic. Not because of the makeup. Because of the look in Leah’s eyes. It wasn't theatrical. It wasn't exaggerated. She was ready to fight.
Kim, with the calm of someone who has seen a thousand battles, approached you. She took you by the chin firmly and forced you to look toward the light. She frowned. She dampened her thumb with her water bottle and, before you could react, rubbed it hard against your cheekbone.
“Kim, what are you doing? It hurts her!” Leah shouted, ready to pounce.
Kim held up her thumb. It was stained with a bright purple color that didn't look like blood, but cosmetic.
“Leah,” Kim said, throwing a tired look at Beth, who was now trying to make herself small behind a pile of towels. “Unless Y/N bleeds glitter, I think you should review your combat priorities.”
The silence returned, but this time it was interrupted by a nervous, explosive laugh from Beth. “It’s long-lasting! The manufacturer wasn't lying!” Beth shouted from her hiding place.
Leah stood frozen. She looked at Kim’s finger, then looked at your face where there was now a blurry smudge revealing your intact skin. The air seemed to leave her lungs all at once. She covered her face with her hands and leaned against the locker, letting out a groan of frustration and relief.
“I’m going to kill you,” Leah muttered under her breath. “Both of you. I swear I’m going to kill you.”
Ten minutes later, the locker room was still a hotbed of teasing. “Watch out, here comes Mike Tyson,” Katie told Leah, while the others reenacted the scene of her breakdown.
When the locker room finally began to empty, Leah approached you with a wet wipe and began to clean off the rest of the makeup with extreme gentleness, even though she was still pretending to be angry.
“That wasn't funny, Y/N,” she whispered, avoiding your gaze. “For a moment... I felt like my heart stopped. I thought someone had actually hurt you and you couldn't defend yourself.”
“I’m sorry, really,” you said, taking her hand. “Beth started with the dares and... well, you know how she is.”
“I know. She’s walking chaos. But you should have more common sense.” Leah finally looked you in the eye, and the fury had dissipated, leaving only an immense tenderness. “I almost committed a crime for you today.”
“That’s a bit romantic, don’t you think?” You gave her a quick kiss on the nose. “My knight in shining armor... or Arsenal tracksuit.”
Leah let out a short laugh and wrapped her arms around your waist, pulling you close. “Don't get used to it. The next time Beth offers you a makeover, tell her you'd rather keep your girlfriend out of jail.”
“I promise,” you laughed, relaxing against her chest. “No more war paint for a while.”
Leah leaned in to give you a soft kiss on your forehead, sealing the peace.
Summary: After years of only your families knowing about your relationship, Steph forgets to take her ring off at camp, leading to the secret being out to the whole team. This is based on this request
Word count: 1.2k (sorry it's a bit of a shorter one)
Warnings: none
You and Steph have been together for years, but no one ever really knew, only your families. And after being together for four years, you decided to propose to her, which you still believe that to this day was the best decision that you had ever made. Neither of you really meant to hide it, you just never knew how to tell any team mates and so it just kind of turned into your little secret, and five years later and still no one knows. You have both got into a habit of when you're at training or just with any of your team mates in general that you both put your wedding rings onto matching necklaces, so that you both still have them always with you.
It helped that all of your team mates and friends knew that you and Steph have always been best friends and so no one questioned the fact that the pair of you turn up to and leave training together or that you live together. You and Steph also always shared a room on camp, like now, giving you some alone time amongst the mental schedule that national camp demands of them, which is how you got to where you both are now.
"Babe we need to go down, Sam will kill us if we're late for breakfast again," you shout through the bathroom door, where Steph was still getting ready.
"I'm coming, calm down." Steph replies, finally opening the door and moving past you to slip her sliders on. "Come on then, let's go down"
In the haste to get downstairs, neither of you notice that Steph still has her ring very much on her finger. When you get downstairs you both go and get some breakfast before sitting down on a table with Caitlin, Kyra and Sam, which looking back was probably the next mistake you both made. They don't notice the ring straight away, well if any of them do then they don't say anything to begin with, it's after you've all finished eating and are just finishing coffee's when they notice, Caitlin reaches to grab her cup at the same time Steph is, causing them to look in the same direction and Caitlin just gasps.
"Oh my God, Steph!" Caitlin practically shouts. "Is that what I think it is on your finger?"
"Uh well, uhm" Steph fumbles, looking right to you for help.
"Steph you're married? Who to? Why have you never told us? Actually more importantly why were none of us invited?" Caitlin asks frantically before Steph can even try and get a response out. "Y/n did you know?" She continues, turning the full attention towards you.
"You could say that, I suppose I knew," you replied, subtly placing your arm around the back of Steph's chair, sensing your wife's discomfort.
"Woah Steph, I'm a bit offended, I know you and Y/n/n are best friends but how could you not tell any of us?"
At that comment, Steph winces slightly again, clearly feeling bad that this is how the secret is going to come out, seeing this, Y/n reaches up to the back of her neck to unclasp the necklace which now felt so heavy beneath her shirt, once she has, she slips the ring off and puts it back on her finger, not trying to draw too much attention to it until you have got it onto your finger and you take your wife's hand in your own, making sure your ring is obvious to your friends.
"Caitlin, calm down, I think we know why only Y/n/n knew," Sam joins in, gesturing towards your hand.
"Wait oh my god guys really? How long have you been hiding this from us?" Caitlin asks, lowering her voice a tiny bit from the shout it was at before.
"Well we have been married for nearly seven years now, and before that we were together for four years I think, so about eleven years if I've got my times right." You reply, not letting go of Steph's hand, who was definitely still panicking about this whole situation. "You alright babe?" you ask, turning your attention to Steph.
"Yeah, I'm sorry because we woke up late I was in such a rush that I completely forgot to take my ring off," Steph says, her voice dropping slightly, making this part of the conversation just for the pair of you.
"It's okay, don't apologise, personally I think it was the best way to find out, low-key, very us."
"Wow, why have you kept it a secret this long?" Sam asks, not in an intrusive way, instead just being insanely curious.
"I mean when we first got together we were both young and just starting our proper careers, I guess we wanted it to be something we had for ourselves, and then I guess we just never found a good way to say it and so we kept it to ourselves and our families." Steph answers this time.
"Kyra? You okay? I think this is the longest I have ever heard you be quiet for," You joke, laughing playfully.
Kyra just looks between you and Steph silently for about another minute before a few tears come to her eyes. Since she joined Arsenal and when she first came up to the senior team for the national team, Kyra had kind of in a way been adopted by you and Steph, the pair of you both being very protective over the younger athlete. So when you see her crying, your instincts kick in and you stand up, rounding the table to bring Kyra in for a hug, making sure she is okay.
"Hey, what's up?" You ask her, concern lacing your voice.
"I can't believe it, you two are like my older sisters, especially in London, and you're married, I'm so happy for you." Kyra replies, trying not to let any other tears escape her eyes.
"Oh Kyra, you big softie, you had me worried there I thought you were upset." Steph comments.
"Right as cute as this whole thing is, we need to start making our way down to the bus so we can get to training," Sam says, getting up and clearly going back into captain mode.
"You heard captain Sammy, come on let's go," you reply, standing too.
After the team has all got on the bus, you and Steph finally get a bit of time almost alone together, you turn to your wife, smiling.
"Well our secret is out, are you alright? You got a bit flustered back there,"
"Yeah, I just didn't really know how to react when they found out, I mean I think we always knew that they would eventually but that was not how I thought it would happen, I guess it was just a bit of a shock," Steph replies.
"Yeah that's understandable, but at least it's out now, now we don't have to hide away in our room when one of us wants a hug"
Steph just laughs at that and then rests her head onto your shoulder, the two of you taking a moment to relax after what turned out to be a very chaotic breakfast.
Little things | Leah Williamson x Single mom!Reader
Where Leah notices that you are struggling and helps out
Woso masterlist | Words: 1.6k
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The elevator doors close, and you press the button to go to the bottom level of your apartment building. It was time for your son to go to sleep, but he wasn’t having it, so you thought maybe a walk around the neighbourhood would help. When you get downstairs the elevator dings to let you know it arrived before the door opens.
The doors open and you’re about to push the stroller out when you notice that your neighbour Leah is waiting to go up with her suitcase. “Hi!” She says with a bright smile, you return a tired one that doesn’t go unnoticed by her. “Hey, how was your holiday?”
“Very nice, and much needed. I don’t want to hold you and little Leo up.” She says looking at the cooing baby in the stroller. “Oh this little guy, I’m just going on a walk to hopefully get him to take his afternoon nap.”
“Alright, you go do that, the little one needs his sleep. Do you want to come over for a tea later? A little way to thank you for taking care of my apartment while I was gone.” You try to tell her that’s not necessary, but she insists. “And bring the rest of your family too!” She calls after you as the elevator doors are about to close.
Later that afternoon Leah hears a knock on the door while she is on the phone. She quickly makes her way over to the door while keeping her phone conversation going. Her smile grows when she sees you standing on the other side of the door with Leo in your arms. She opens the door wider to invite you in and mouths a quick ‘sorry’ as she steps aside.
You take a seat on the couch while Leah walks to the kitchen with her phone still at her ear. Taking a moment to set up the baby blanket for Leo, so he lay down and wiggle around.
“Hey, sorry for that, work.” She said motioning to her phone before she pockets the device. “Oh you're fine.” You're quick to reassure her.
“Should I wait for Jess to make some tea?” Leah instantly clocks the change in your expression and posture. How you immediately tensed up, and a sad look took over your features. “Oh no, what happened?” She takes a seat next to you right away.
“She left.” A tear escapes, and you quickly wipe it away. “Two weeks ago, she announced that she didn’t want a kid after all and left us.”
Leah stares at you in disbelief, “That's horrible, I'm so sorry she did that, and I'm sorry for bringing it up.” You shake your head and wipe away the next tear. “You're fine.” She puts her hand on your shoulder and gives it a light squeeze, “Alright, tea for two coming up.”
She walks back in with two cups of tea, and sits down next to you again. “Are you alright?” Leah asks when she sees the look on your face. “Yeah, just thinking of how I’m going to be able to do this all on my own when I have to go back to work in two weeks.”
“I know it’s not the same, but you’re not alone. My offer to watch him on my days off still stands. I’m always just a call away, and often even next door if you need anything.” Her expression was serious, wanting to make sure that you knew she really meant what she said.
Leah stayed true to her word. The first time you asked her to watch Leo was when you had an appointment at your job, just an hour and a half trip to pick up the stuff that you would need for your first day back, and to catch up with some of your coworkers. When you came back to your place, you found Leo sound asleep on Leah’s chest. The sight warmed your heart, he seemingly enjoyed her company, and you started to think that maybe everything would turn out alright with a little help.
Raising a baby as a single parent was way more expensive than you had anticipated, but Leo deserves the best, so you keep spending most of your income on him and rent, leaving very little for yourself. You keep telling yourself it’s fine though, he needed it to grow. However, your energy levels were getting lower and lower. Maybe that is why you hadn’t noticed that every time Leah had watched Leo, his diapers were restocked, a new baby formula pot would be behind the open one, or the pile of baby clothes in your living room was neatly folded while you thought you still needed to do that.
Leah had left for England camp this morning, so she wouldn’t be able to help you out for the next couple of weeks. She had given you the phone numbers of her mum and some of her closest friends that would be able to help you if anything would come up, which you were really grateful for. She even came by to say bye to Leo and you before she left.
Maybe an hour or so after she left, she called you. “Hey, so I just got a notification that my groceries are going to be delivered in twenty minutes, I completely forgot to cancel the order. Would you maybe be able to receive the order at my place?” You were still home, so you said that wouldn’t be a problem. “That’s great, thank you so much. Oh, and you can also take the groceries to your place, since they would just go bad at mine. No reason to let perfectly good food go to waste.” You were tearing up at the thought of having a fully stocked fridge, and before you could thank her, you heard huffled voices on the other side of the line before Leah told you she had to go.
When the groceries arrived, all you had to do was sign for them. You took them back to your place to sort out, anything that wouldn’t go bad, you would bring back to Leah’s place later. Just the things that wouldn’t be good by the time she got back you would take.
As you started to unpack, you realised that she had ordered a bunch of things you enjoyed to eat. Not just dinner, but also snacks you loved but had convinced yourself you couldn’t splurge on anymore now that you had to take care of Leo. You thought it was just a coincidence though, Leah probably liked them herself too.
But then you saw it, she had ordered formula, diapers, wipes, baby food, and even some rash creams. That’s when it all started to click. Those random extra packs of wipes that would randomly appear in your diaper bag, or the formula being full when you thought it was almost empty. Leah had been helping you without your knowledge for months.
The day Leah would get back, you went to the grocery store with the money you had been able to save thanks to her generosity with getting you groceries for the time she was away. It wasn’t a lot, but you wanted to make something to thank her for what she had done for your family.
So, that evening you set up Leo’s high chair in Leah’s apartment and started cooking in her kitchen after you had watered her plants one last time. You knew Leah would come back any moment now, as she had texted to ask if she could come by once she was settled to say hi to Leo, that thought alone warmed your heart. Over these past few months Leah hadn’t just helped the two of you, she genuinely cared for Leo.
The smell of cooking instantly reached Leah as she rolled her suitcase into her apartment. She heads straight to the kitchen, “What’s all this?” She is still surprised to find you cooking in her kitchen. You turn around and smile, “It’s not much, but I wanted to do something to show you how grateful I am for everything you’ve done to help us.”
You turn the heat down and walk her way to give her a hug, “Thank you.” She tightly hugs you back while making silly faces at Leo, which makes him giggle. You step away and wipe a fallen tear of your cheek. “It smells amazing. Thank you for doing this, I’m starving.”
After sharing a delicious meal, and feeding Leo, you clean up the kitchen together with some Baby Shark playing in the background put on as entertainment for Leo, but the two of you were clearly enjoying it as well.
“Want to stay and watch a movie?” Leah asks when the kitchen is all cleaned up again. “Yeah, I’d love to. Might have to put Leo to bed mid-movie though.” She smiles, “Sounds good, we can adapt along the way.”
Leo reaches out for Leah as soon as you sit down on the couch, and she gladly takes him from you. He settles against her chest instantly, his bright blue eyes staring up at her, as you’re setting up the movie on the TV.
It doesn’t take long before Leo falls asleep in Leah’s arms. You offer to take him from her and bring him to his crib, but Leah says he’s fine to sleep in her arms for however long needed, if that was okay with you too. You couldn’t say no to that offer after seeing the content look on your son’s face.
About halfway to the movie, your eyes start to fall shut. Once your eyes fully fall shut, your head lands softly onto Leah’s shoulder. She smiles while looking between you and Leo, in that moment everything felt so right.
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Summary: During a press conference after the semifinal victory against Italy, a journalist keeps pushing the narrative of a supposed rivalry between the Captain and Vice-Captain—who are actually girlfriends.
The night was thick, the sky dark over the arena, illuminated only by the stadium lights and the collective buzz of an England that had fought tooth and nail to secure their spot in the grand final. Leah and you still bore the marks of an intense match against Italy—damp hair, tense muscles, and adrenaline that refused to fade.
Right after the final whistle, both of you were called for the official press conference alongside Sarina. It was standard protocol, but this time, the atmosphere was different. The victory had been hard-fought, snatched in the dying minutes of extra time. The brief but intense celebration between the two of you hadn’t gone unnoticed.
Sitting side by side at the press table, Leah maintained her usual composed demeanor. You, still with damp hair from a rushed shower, rested your forearms on the table, attentive.
Sarina answered a few tactical questions calmly, until a reporter from the middle row raised her hand. She adjusted her glasses and pulled out a clipboard that looked more like a script disguised as an interrogation.
"Congratulations on the win," she began with a rehearsed smile. "But I’d like to address something beyond the pitch. There have been rumors behind the scenes about a possible rivalry between Leah and Y/N. Some even claim there were serious arguments in the locker room during the group stage, which supposedly cast doubt on your on-field relationship. Care to comment?"
A heavy silence fell like thick fog. Leah turned toward the reporter, her expression still calm, but her eyes slightly narrowed, betraying her irritation.
"Then you should check your sources," she replied firmly, her voice calm yet sharp as a blade. "Discussions happen when two invested people want what’s best for the team. But calling it a 'rivalry' is a stretch."
You felt heat crawl up your spine to your cheeks. That question wasn’t just invasive—it was malicious, an invitation for scandal. And no matter how much you and Leah had tried to keep your relationship away from the spotlight, that comment stirred something inside you.
"Actually," you said, straightening in your chair, "it’s not unusual for two people in a relationship to have disagreements. And if there’s any 'tension' between us, it’s because we care too much about this team… and about each other."
A weighted silence settled. Leah turned to look at you, surprised. It wasn’t a secret, but it had never been said out loud. The reporter smiled like she’d just struck gold.
"So, you’re confirming there’s something between you?"
Your breath grew heavier. You hesitated for a moment, but before you could answer, Leah laced her fingers with yours under the table.
"There are many things between us," she stated, locking eyes with the journalist. "Respect, friendship, partnership. And one shared goal: lifting that trophy. It wouldn’t make sense for me to have a conflict with my girlfriend and teammate. Does that answer your question?"
The reporter froze, eyes wide at the unexpected confirmation. Every camera in the room was now fixed on you two. And despite your racing hearts, you felt strangely at peace.
You turned slightly and pressed a quick kiss to Leah’s cheek. The captain smirked, still looking ahead.
"Now, if you have questions about the match, our strategy, or the final, we’re happy to answer. But if it’s about speculation or personal matters, this press conference is over," Leah said firmly.
Sarina suppressed a smile, proud of her players. The following questions returned to football, as they should have from the start. And when the presser ended, Leah and you walked side by side down the concrete hallway, steps steady—as if you’d already won something far greater than a match.
In the locker room, before rejoining the rest of the team, Leah took your hand once more.
"Do you have any idea what we just did?" Leah asked, laughing softly.
You arched a brow, teasing.
"I just gave an interview, love."
Leah chuckled, and before another word could be spoken, she pulled you into a quiet kiss—one that said the hardest part had already been spoken aloud.
Finally posting this bc it’s been sitting in my drafts literally since Arsenal beat Chelsea at Stamford bridge lol
Legacy
Renée Slegers x Reader
Just a little smutty oneshot :)
Warnings: 18+ MINORS DNI oral, fingering, strap. Nothing too wild, but definitely 18+!! Also teeny tiny injury mention if you really really squint.
Two nil at Stamford Bridge.
Eight years of losing, a legacy she’d inherited from not one, but two predecessors.
The weight of rivalry, of expectation, of suffering, easing in a split second.
Katie barrels towards the touchline, hollering as she runs. She throws her arms around Renée’s neck, spinning her round.
“Gaffer! We fucking did it!”
This kind of affection usually makes her clam up, pull back, maintain a professional distance. But today- today is special, and allowances must be made.
“Yeah you did.” She cuffs Katie around the head, turning to Kim who has materialised quietly beside her, grinning.
“How’s that then?”
Renée just laughs.
“Think it’ll do.”
Around them, chaos reigns. Girls are jumping on one another’s shoulders, taking photos, a couple drifting over to the crowd, signing scarves and meeting young fans. It’s loud, joyous, a raucous celebration that some in the crowd are too young to remember the last of.
But you remember. Being in the stands, stamping your feet and cheering. Just a fan, back then, a supporter. And now- now you sit in the front row, just behind the bench, a huge grin plastered on your face. You watch her, congratulating the players, shaking hands and giving hugs. She is glowing, so completely in her element, eyes crinkled in a laugh at something Leah is saying.
And then she turns, her gaze flickering up to the stands, and her eye catches yours. Her smile shifts, lip catching between her teeth. When the crowd lulls a little, she slips away, her steps towards you steady yet purposeful. She reaches the bench, steps up to the seats, and leans over the row to reach you.
You prop your elbows on the seat in front and lean down, pressing a chaste kiss to her lips. But she lingers close, even in front of all those people, and speaks just softly enough that no one can hear.
“You promised me a surprise if we won.”
The husk in her tone sends a shiver down your spine.
“Oh darling,” you reply in kind, mouth close to her ear.
“You’re getting one, don’t you worry. I’ll be waiting.”
As she steps back from the stands and heads towards the tunnel, there’s a look in Renée’s eyes. It’s dark, heavy, the kind of want that only bubbles up when it has been simmering beneath the surface for a long, long time.
She is the very vision of composure as she talks the game through with the girls, bringing the excitement down into a concerted energy. Yes, winning is great. But now they have to keep winning. She says all the words she has rehearsed before the circle breaks and the team gets ready to leave. And the entire time, she ignores the fizzing, rising energy in her stomach, the anticipation of something, although right now she has no idea what. That almost makes it better.
-🧡-
You recline back on the bed and your breath hitches as the door clicks closed downstairs.
“Baby? I’m back!” She calls, and she sounds tired.
“I’m up here!” You return, smirking at how quickly her footsteps move to the stairs. She might be tired, but she hasn’t forgotten.
“Hello beautiful… wait what?” Renée falters in the doorway, her eyes wide.
“But that’s…”
And it is. You’d thought about wearing an Arsenal shirt for this occasion, something to commemorate their victory today. But this felt more impactful- World Cup, 2015. Not easy to get hold of, but infinitely worth it for the look on her face.
“It’s your shirt.” You state simply, sitting up.
“That you never got to wear. But it’s yours. Just like that team was yours. And this team is yours. And I’m yours.”
You sit, and she just watches from the middle of the room, her mouth hanging slightly open. Then you lean forward, hands meeting the mattress, and slide down until your chest meets the quilt and your hips arch up. She can see it clearly now, white letters across your back: Slegers.
It does something to her. It’s sexy, yes, impossibly so- the bare curve of your ass beneath the hem, the tail of your black lace underwear just barely visible. But it’s more than that- it’s thoughtful, it means something, and you’re giving her a power over her narrative that nobody ever has before. This was the year everything went wrong- and now she gets to claim it back.
“Baby, I-“ she hesitates, struggling to find the words. You sit up, at the end of the bed now, and hold out your arms to her. She comes willingly, a wistful smile on her face. Instead of pulling her in, you gently unzip her training jacket, and toss it across the floor.
“I want to feel you.” You breathe, and she stands still and awestruck as you make quick work of her clothes. “Let me show you, please.”
-🧡-
You lay her on her back, amongst the pillows. As badly as you want her, the heat rolling in your stomach, it is worth it to take a moment to look at her like this. The soft curve of her chest, the swell of her hips, the jut of her collarbones as she leans her head back. Her hair is down now, flowing in dark waves over the pillows. She rarely wears it like that, but by god is it beautiful.
“You are everything.” You start, knees resting against the edge of the mattress.
“You have worked so hard. You have achieved so much. And my greatest achievement is getting to love you.”
She smiles, soft and sweet, but it quickly dissolves into a heaving exhale as you duck your head and your lips find the inside of her thigh. Renée props herself up on her elbows, watching the flex of your back with her name stretched across it as your shoulders dip.
You are slow, reverent and gentle, and the effervescent need in her stomach from earlier simmers closer to boiling point. But you pause before getting to where she needs you most, and she whines at the ache that persists. She looks up at your face, chin jutting, as you twist your hair back and tie it loosely.
“Baby.” She’s trying to be firm, but her voice shakes.
“What?” You cock your head to the side, grinning like you haven’t just left her dripping and waiting.
“This is meant to be my prize. I shouldn’t have to beg.” Her voice betrays her again, the need trembling in her tone. You hum, repositioning yourself, hooking an arm around her thigh to open her up wider. You know every inch of her, every crease that hides nerve endings, every fold that collects her wetness so deliciously.
And yet, you will never get tired of this- the scent of her, expensive soap and pure lust, the ragged sound of her breathing as you ghost your mouth closer. Then the taste of her as you drag your tongue lazily up her slit, and the moan that rips unashamedly from her throat at the contact.
The time for niceties is long gone- now her fingers tangle in your hair, and she tilts her head up to watch you as you lick lazily, indulging without agenda. A part of Renée wants to urge you on, to make you go faster, harder. But in truth, she is enjoying this- the talent and certainty of a mouth that knows her, winding her up slowly.
You do take your time; featherlight, tiny circles with the tip of your tongue over her clit, pulling away to dip it inside her whenever her hips start to shift impatiently. Your increase in pressure is controlled and precise- it makes your jaw ache, this level of restraint, but the slow, incremental build is so impossibly worth it. Primarily because it means she, so lost in the feeling of your mouth on her, doesn’t realise how close you’ve drawn her until it’s too late. She comfortably settles into a babbling prayer of expletives in both English and Dutch, words merging together in a way that doesn’t make any sense. But you know exactly what she means when she says
“Oh my god!”
And the appropriate reaction is to push two fingers inside her, curling roughly up as your mouth works. They go easily, she is so close anyway, and the blasphemy on her lips is only a sign that she is already teetering on the edge. You could almost count the number of times you curl your fingers before she locks up, orgasm seizing her in its grasp. You pause, lips resting gently on her and hand still, as she rocks, trembling, under your mouth. The needy groans dissolve into a whine as she rides it out, unabashedly bucking up under you to maintain the friction.
She keeps going longer than you would’ve thought, each aftershock sending a fresh wave of spasms and a whimper through her body. You remain in place, flat on your stomach with her name on your back, as she twitches to an eventual stop.
Her knees go slack, and her breathing starts to even out- this is your cue to sit up, easing out of her gently, eyes on her face for any sign of discomfort. There is none, she is floating- but still manages to whine at the loss.
“You good?” You ask, and Renée just nods and hums softly, eyes still half closed.
Then, without opening them, she says,
“Get the strap.”
Your heart clenches.
“Now?”
When you look back her eyes are open, pupils blown and dark, a smirk on her lips.
“Yes, now.”
When you come back, she sits up and takes it from you without a word, shimmying it into place.
“Need me to warm you up, baby?”
You didn’t really, already trembling with need, but when she offers like that it is impossible to resist. You just nod, suddenly willing to do whatever she asks.
“Hands and knees then. No, other way. That’s it.”
With your head at the foot of the bed, she sits herself behind you. It feels strangely exposing this way, but any nervous anticipation melts away as her mouth drags over you. She spits, spreading the saliva with her tongue, and the sound of it is so filthy you gasp aloud.
She laughs into you, and when she sits back a sticky string clings between your cunt and her mouth. She plucks it with the tips of her fingers, smearing the fluid back over you, the warmth of her touch flaring the need inside you. She knows, of course, she knows you just as well as you know her, if not better. She kneels up, shifting her angle as she presses a finger inside you, slowly at first, peppering gentle kisses over your hips as she works.
“That’s it,” she hums low, adding a second, curling and twisting as your body relaxes. Had she kept going you would come from that alone, the slow, dragging thrusts fuelling the burning at your core. But she pulls them out, almost abruptly, and you are waiting to feel her press against you when she does something else. You hear her shift, and then she nudges your knees apart and threads her legs through yours, hands on your hips, pulling you up and back until you’re resting on your own thighs.
Then, her voice. Soft, so quiet it’s almost a growl.
“You gonna ride me like this? Let me see you come with my name on your back?”
You whine, inching back, allowing her to position your hips until the head of the strap brushes against you. You inhale sharply as she lets go, gravity coaxing the silicone inside you, weight dropping down gradually as your body adjusts.
You sit up, and back, the angle frankly delicious, and the thought of her looking up at you is like gasoline on an open flame. Initially you rock, strap buried to the hilt, grinding against her hard enough that she snarls and smacks your ass.
“Give me more than that.”
So you do. The drag as the strap pulls out of you is unholy, your eyes rolling back and a shudder reverberating through you as you inch up. When you let your weight fall back down, the slap of your ass against her thighs echoes in the room. You start slow, kneeling almost all the way up over and over, savouring the fullness as you sink into her again and again.
The restraint feels good, putting on a show for her- you hear her breath catch as you pull the elastic from your hair again, letting it tumble down your back, and then she mumbles something as you pull it all forward over one shoulder and grind down into her.
“What?” You breathe, pausing for a second to look back at her. She is propped up again, flushed and buzzing with energy. Her eyes are wide, and as you lean back against her, you press the base of the strap firm against her clit and halt the words in her mouth.
“You…” she starts, but the words taper off into a laugh as you roll your hips down. She bucks up beneath you in retaliation and knocks a gasp from your mouth. It feels insane, the force of her against you, and she knows it too- meeting every lift of your hips with her own, barely giving you a second to catch your breath. You are overwhelmed in that moment by everything about her; her skin, sweat slick against you, the pressure of her fingers against your hipbones, the hitch of her breath, the way she fills you so entirely.
She keeps you going as your legs begin to falter, the coil of tension inside your stomach getting hotter and tighter until it is too much to take. As it snaps and releases shuddering waves of ecstasy through you, your head falls back and a cry tears from your chest. She holds you firmly as you chase the shocks radiating through your core, steady and reassuring, hands unfaltering as she guides you.
Eventually you slump forward, forehead pressed to her knee, breathless and exhausted as she wriggles out from underneath you and slips off the bed. When you finally lift your head up she is standing with her back to you, untangling the straps of the harness, slow and methodical.
“You okay?” Renée turns when she hears you move, a gentle smile on her face. You allow your body to drop down onto the bed, resting your head on your arms, and look up at her. She comes to your side without you asking, softly tracing the letters on your back with her fingertip.
“Thank you for this, by the way.” She says, and when you catch her eye there’s a misty, emotional glaze in the way she looks at you.
“It means a lot. Today was huge, but coming home to you…” she tails off.
“Yeah, I know.” You roll onto your side, reaching up to drag her to you, kissing her deep and slow.
tags/contains: wc: 22k words, not proofread, pretend relationship / fake dating, mixed media (social media au + traditional narrative fic), lowkey romcom-inspired, jealousy, enemies-to-lovers if u squint real hard, femme!reader who works in a magazine
reading guide: this is a mixed media fanfic so there will be some "social media screenshots" in between texts. there will be dividers (brown-pink gradient dividers) just to prevent you from skipping parts that are written out in paragraphs. just exit photo viewing mode at that point to continue reading the story!
masterlist | chapter index | part one | please do not repost or plagiarize!
You bit your lip, staring at the notification on the top of your phone, your thumb hovering just over the screen. You didn’t open it right away.
On one hand, you haven’t heard from Cassie in a while. (Though, you had been praying, wishing, and obsessing over hearing from her again.) The last time you two talked was a couple of weeks ago, when you had tried asking her out to lunch, but she had declined, saying she was swamped with work. You figured that maybe this was her trying to make up for it.
But part of you wanted to ignore it, just for another moment, to buy yourself time to sit with the new, confusing thing clawing its way to the surface every time you thought about Leah.
Initially, you’d been so sure what you were feeling was just a natural reaction. Any girl who got flowers, compliments, and the princess treatment from a very attractive pro-footballer would get flustered. It didn’t mean anything. It didn’t mean you actually liked Leah.
…or did it?
Because the flustered blush should’ve faded by now. It should have been a passing thing. But after dinner tonight, Leah hadn’t left your mind once. You could still feel where she kissed your cheek, radiating a weird warm and tingly sensation whenever you replayed that moment. It all felt… different.
You groaned.
Why am I making it so much harder for myself, you scolded yourself. This thing with Leah is just pretend. I cannot be falling for my own trap!
Maybe this was just about Cassie. Maybe you were only feeling this way because you had been so starved for her attention that anything resembling intimacy felt magnified
So, with a sigh, you finally opened Cassie’s message.
Part of you couldn’t help but blush at the messages from Cassie. It felt like for the first time in a long time she was finally making an effort, reaching out to you first, inviting you to go out. Maybe things were changing after all.
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Phoebe glared at you from across the table as she lowered your phone, having read through your messages.
“Girl,” she said flatly. “Are you fucking joking? You woke me up at 8 in the morning on a weekend for this?”
You made a face at her and pushed the coffee cup closer to her side of the table. “I bought you coffee.”
“Coffee barely makes up for it,” she muttered, taking a sip anyway.
“Whyyy? Is it bad?” You groaned. “I swear, I thought you were gonna be happy for me. I mean, Cassie seems to finally want to make an effort. This could be good.”
Phoebe shook her head. “She’s not making an effort or finally trying to switch things up. She clearly is only hitting you up because you know Leah Williamson. She’s just trying to find a way to connect with Leah and right now, it’s through you.”
You furrowed your eyebrows. “Well, yeah, if I found out you were friends with Angelina Jolie, I’d be trying to connect to Angelina too.”
Phoebe groaned, setting her coffee down. “You’re not listening. She’s not just curious, babe. She’s using you. This is just like uni, except this time, she’s not trying to get free drinks or have you do her essay. Now, she’s trying to get a leg up in her football career, if you can even call it that. She just wants to go through you to get to Leah.”
You pouted. “You’re so negative, Phoebe.”
“I’m realistic,” she corrected, reaching for a scone from the box you’d brought. “You’re still soft on her, so you’re not seeing it clearly.”
“Maybe,” you admitted, sighing. “But she said she missed me. And she’s the one asking to see me this time. That has to count for something.”
Phoebe shrugged, munching on her scone. “I mean, fine. Go see her if you want to. Just… don’t let her flip her stupid curls and reel you back in like she always does. Go in there with your brain switched on.”
“So… you think I should go see her.” You asked, smiling a bit.
“I think you should get an answer,” she said, pointing at you with the scone. “If she’s still the same and you decide you’re done with her, then great, you can move on. But if she actually miraculously suddenly realizes she’s been a major dick to you and apologizes and begs for you back, then even better, I guess.”
“Okay, that’s great!” You cheered. “And, please tell me you are coming with me.”
Phoebe frowned. “I am not going to a uni reunion, girl. You can’t make me. I am not in the mood to see anyone I dated from uni.”
“Pleaaase,” you begged, clasping your hands dramatically. “I swear, you can leave at any time. I won’t make you stay longer than thirty minutes.”
She let out a long, dramatic sigh, then nodded. “Fine. But you owe me.”
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You bit down on your lip as you read Leah’s texts, blushing and rolling your eyes a bit at her previous message. Getting compliments like that from the English team captain certainly was a huge ego booster.
Phoebe, who had been scrolling on her phone next to you, glanced up and caught you grinning. She lowered her screen. “What are you smiling about? Texting Cassie?”
You shook your head, cheeks still a little warm. “Uh, no. Just Leah. She wished me luck on impressing Cassie tonight.”
Phoebe raised an eyebrow and smirked knowingly. “Uh-huh. Still shocked you haven’t caught feelings for her. She’s proper fit, and way nicer than Cassie ever was.”
You hummed, trying to play it off. “Yeah, she is cute, but I mean… she’s only nice because I’m fake dating her. It’s not like that.”
Phoebe shot you a skeptical look but let it go with a chuckle. “Right. Forgot how messy that whole situation is.” She tucked her phone into her bag and peered out the Uber window. “Looks like we’re here.”
“This place is impossible to get into on a Saturday,” Phoebe muttered. “How did Cassie even score a table?”
“She does club promotion," you said, trying to sound casual but feeling the corners of your mouth lift. “She said it’s one of the things she does on top of work.”
Phoebe snorted. “Club promotion is such a Cassie thing to do. Perfect excuse to party for a living.” She nudged your arm as the car slowed to the curb. “Come on, let’s go.”
You stepped out of the Uber together, the thumping of the bass already vibrating through the pavement. You adjusted your dress, the sequins catching the glow of the club lights. It was bold, a little flashy but perfect for your purpose: grab Cassie’s attention.
And you were successful.
Cassie was leaning against the booth with a drink in her hand, curls bouncing around her face as she laughed at something one of her friends said. As soon as she saw you, her eyes were practically glued onto you.
Her eyes dragged over you in a slow, deliberate scan. She stood up, already smiling as she walked over.
“You look…” She paused, eyes flicking down your dress and back up. “…amazing.”
You bit your lip, blush forming as Cassie approached you, towering a bit over you. “Thanks.” You smiled.
“Come on, let’s get you a drink.” She placed a hand on your back as she guided you toward the bar, clearly wanting time alone with you.
Cassie leaned over the counter and ordered for you like she’d never stopped knowing what you liked. You watched her profile as she waited, her side-profile, the little bite of her lip as she glanced back at you.
I forgot how fucking hot she is, you gushed internally as you eyed her up-and-down, biting your lip as you eyed her exposed biceps. Fuck, I need to keep it together.
“So,” she said when the drinks were in front of you. “I really regret not catching up with you sooner.”
You blinked, forgetting just what you were telling yourself. “Oh?”
Cassie nodded, swirling her drink before taking a sip. “Yeah. I mean, I know I ended things… badly and that I was a bit of a dick about it, actually. But lately I’ve been thinking about it and…” she shrugged, leaning closer. “I regret it. I regret not trying harder with you. I really, really missed you.”
You stared at her, lips parted, feeling a bit of whiplash from what she just said. For months you’d dreamed of hearing her say those exact words, and now that she had, you didn’t know what to do.
“I missed you too,” you admitted quietly.
Cassie smiled softly, and for a moment it almost felt like the two of you were uni students again, flirting while having a couple drinks. It felt a bit overwhelming, how intense it was suddenly.
The bartender interrupted, sliding your drink over. You blinked, shaking off the tension from your body.
“By the way,” Cassie said casually, “you and Leah…how did that happen?”
You blinked, nearly choking on your drink. “Leah?”
Cassie nodded.
“Oh, um….” you scrambled. “Just like what I told you, I interviewed her for the magazine and we just… got along.”
Cassie tilted her head, her curls brushing her bare shoulder. “What’s she like?”
You hesitated, then chuckled. “Uh… she’s funny. Like, really funny. She could be a bit annoying sometimes too but in a way that’s actually… endearing?” You nodded.
“And she’s just… she’s really thoughtful. And she’s…” you felt a little flush creep up your neck, “she’s really charming. Naturally charming like she can just smile at you and you’d feel a bit flustered by it.”
Cassie’s brows lifted, a faint smirk tugging at her mouth. “Sure you’re not seeing her?”
You laughed nervously, shaking your head, realizing you had gotten carried away. “No, no. No way. She’s just a great friend.” You tried to correct yourself. “And you know, great player. I just admire her a lot.”
“Bet she is.” Cassie hummed into her drink. “She didn’t get that captaincy for nothing. Y’know I play the same position as her?”
“Yeah?”
“Yeah.” She leaned one elbow against the bar, suddenly animated. “But not all the time. I sometimes play midfield too. I feel like I could be a lot more versatile too. Gaffer just does not get it.”
“I haven’t watched you play in so long. Last time I tried to watch one of your games, they didn’t put you in the game.” You said, remembering it.
Cassie looked a bit annoyed that you brought it up. “Uh yeah, I’m telling you they don’t value me enough as a player.” She shrugged exaggeratedly. “You know I scored two goals in one game but they gave the keeper the player of the match. They’re all so biased against me.”
You smiled politely. “Oh….”
“You know, I’ve actually been scouted a couple times,” she went on, furrowed eyebrows. “Just waiting for my shot, y’know? The right team and the right season… then I'm gone and I can finally go pro.”
You nodded, fingers tracing the rim of your glass before taking a long swig out of your drink.
Cassie grinned. “Y’know, actually, Arsenal is my dream club.”
“Yeah?” you managed, forcing a little laugh. “They seem great so I get it. It was fun watching them play and all.”
She chuckled, leaning in closer. “Then maybe it’s fate that you and I are connecting again now.”
You frowned, a bit confused with her statement. “Huh? What do you mean?”
She shook her head. “Nothing, wanna dance?”
You blinked at her, still a little confused by what she meant before, but you found yourself nodding anyway. “Sure,” you said, letting her grab your hand and lead you toward the dance floor.
Cassie tugged you through the crowd of sweaty bodies until you were right in the middle of it all, surrounded by people moving in every direction. She turned to face you, already swaying to the beat, smiling widely at you.
You two began moving to the beat, swaying your hips to the rhythm of the music. She stepped closer until your bodies brushed and said, just loud enough for you to hear over the music, “Hey, I don’t remember you dancing like this before.”
You raised an eyebrow. “Like what?”
Cassie grinned, sliding her hands along your sides and tugging you closer until her chest almost brushed yours. “Like you’re so tense. Like you’re thinking about something else entirely.” She said with a teasing lilt. “Loosen up.”
You bit your lip, a bit guilty since you were still a bit tense, mulling over what she just had said. “I am loose!”
“Not nearly enough.” She grinned, sliding her hands to your waist, guiding you to mimic her motion.
“There,” she said softly, as you began to become more comfortable, “that’s better.”
Your breath caught. It was stupid how quickly your body remembered the way she felt this close – her warmth, the smell of her perfume, her proximity from you, her incredibly hypnotizing smile.
You let yourself enjoy the dance, the feel of her body against yours, her hands steady on your waist. But at the back of your mind, the thought came creeping back: Did she only say that fate thing because of Leah?
The idea twisted in your gut. Was she just trying to win you back because she wanted to get closer to Arsenal?
Before you could spiral too far, a voice cut through the music. “Cassie!”
Both of you turned to see Haley, one of Cassie’s old uni football teammates, waving from the edge of the dance floor. “Hey, the rest of the crew just got here!” she called out to Cassie.
Cassie looked back at you, a little reluctant, but smiled. “Come on, we should say hi. I didn’t realize that I've been keeping you from everyone.”
You nodded, letting her take your hand again as you weaved back toward the reserved table where the rest of the group was gathering.
Cassie immediately fell into conversation with her teammates, hugging them, laughing about something from their last season way back in uni together.
Phoebe spotted you almost instantly. She excused herself from where she was sitting with Liam — one of her old flings, if you remembered correctly — and headed over to you., raising her eyebrows.
“So…” she said, voice low but suggestive. “What happened between you and Cassie?”
You hesitated, glancing toward where Cassie was chatting animatedly with her uni friends. “It’s… going good, I think.” You admitted. “But there’s a part of me that can’t shake the feeling you might be right. Like maybe she’s only saying all the right things because she knows Leah is in my life now, making it easier for her to get access to Arsenal.”
Phoebe frowned, her expression sympathetic. “I would say I told you so, but…” she tilted her head. “I’m actually hoping now that I was wrong.”
You sighed, nodding. You looked over to Cassie’s group of friends where she was the center of attention, laughing loudly, looking as effortlessly stunning as always. You couldn’t help but feel your heart flutter at the sight of her. She was incredibly magnetic; she always had been.
But watching her like this, laughing a little too loud, reaching out to touch someone’s arm just to keep the spotlight anchored to her… you could not help but draw a comparison. You couldn’t help but think about Leah.
Leah had almost the same quality, the same aura and charisma. But there was something so different about the two of them. Leah’s charm felt so natural, unperformed. It didn’t feel like Leah demanded for attention; she just had everyone’s attention naturally. She could walk into a room and everyone’s eyes would be on her.
Your eyes fell to Cassie and you just sighed. She was so different. It felt like she was always demanding attention, wanting to be the center of it all. Even in your past relationship, it felt like that. She was the star of your relationship and you were just there to support her.
Phoebe stared at you, shaking her head, speaking up to break through your thoughts. “Are you sure you wanna stay?”
You turned to her and nodded. “Yeah, yeah, I honestly think I’m just overthinking things.” You said, reasoning with yourself, trying to sound unbothered. “Cassie hasn’t done anything wrong. I’m just… I don’t know, in my head too much.”
Phoebe gave you a look that said she wasn’t entirely convinced, but she let it go.
“Hey gorg,” Cassie said as she walked up to you. “Told my footy friends about you and they all wanna catch up with you too.”
You furrowed your eyebrows. “Me?”
Cassie grinned, taking your hand without hesitation. “Yes, you. Come on.”
You looked over at Phoebe again who just shot you a look but you gave her a subtle nod to tell her you were fine.
Cassie led you toward her friends. “This is Haley, this is Mary,” Cassie said, gesturing casually. “I don’t know if you remember them but they played with me back in uni.”
“Oh yes, of course.” You said. “I watched all your games back then. Of course, I remember them.”
Haley squinted at you, snapping her fingers like she was trying to remember something. “Ohhh, you’re Phoebe, right?” She asked.
You blinked. “Uh… no,” you said awkwardly, shaking your head. “That’s my best friend.”
“Oh, shit sorry.” Haley said, looking over to Cassie who corrected her, reminding her of your name. “Yeah, yeah, I remember you now. Of course, yeah!”
It was clear to you that she didn’t actually remember you but you just forced a polite laugh.
Cassie jumped in before it got too weird. “She was a journalism major back in uni and now, she works for The Edit magazine.”
You glanced at her in surprise, warmth spreading in your chest. She remembered.
Mary raised an eyebrow, mildly impressed. “Oh wow. The Edit is a fashion magazine, right?”
“Yeah,” you said. “We cover trends, fashion, beauty.”
Haley grinned. “That’s cute.” She nodded. “Personally, I could never be that into fashion and makeup and all that..”
You bit your tongue to stop yourself from pointing out the weird tone and the condescending way she said it. You always hated it when people acted that way about your job and interest, as if it was frivolous and petty.
Mary tilted her head. “So what did you write about last?”
Before you could answer, Cassie chimed in. “She actually worked on a piece with Leah Williamson.”
The shift was instantaneous. Suddenly, every pair of eyes was on you, widened and more interested now. You stopped yourself from rolling your eyes at the reaction.
“Wait, the Leah Williamson?” Haley asked.
“Like, Arsenal Leah?” Mary added, eyes wide. “English captain Leah?”
You nodded, smiling a little. “Yeah, we covered her personal style since Leah’s actually someone who is very into fashion. She said it’s one of her personal interests.” You said, holding yourself back from making a more pointed remark. Better player and has better style than the two of you combined, you thought to yourself.
Haley leaned in. “Did you get to hang out with her much?”
“Yeah, we got really close.” You smirked. “She even invited me to a game.”
“God, lucky.” She commented, shaking her head as she took a sip of her drink.
Mary nodded. “Okay, now I’m jealous. Did she give you any, like, insider gossip about the team?”
You laughed. “Not really. She was mostly just talking about the Euros, about Arsenal. She’s very passionate about getting more girls into football.” You responded.
You talked a bit more about what you and Leah talked about during your “interview” and you tried to convincingly make shit up. You felt like it was going relatively… okay. They were kinda assholes but at least, now, they were a bit more impressed by you.
Mary tapped her chin and furrowed her eyebrows, grin turning a bit sly, turning to Cassie. “I just remembered. Cassie, didn’t you also date a sports writer for a bit? What was her name?”
And suddenly, the conversation veered away from you, Cassie’s friends cackling about her past dating history, trading memories of nights out you weren’t part of. You stood there awkwardly, sipping your drink, feeling heat creep up your neck.
Phoebe’s voice cut in behind you. “Hey, babe. Liam and I are heading out.” She said, placing a hand on your back. “You good? I can drop you home before I go if you want.”
Before you could answer, Cassie reached out. “Hey, don’t go yet. We haven’t spent much time together tonight.”
You hesitated, glancing at Phoebe, who arched one brow at you. “I’m good,” you said finally, with a small smile.
Phoebe gave you a long, searching look, then nodded and mouthed, text me.
Once she was gone, Cassie tilted her head, concern flickering across her eyes. “You okay?”
“Yeah,” you said quietly. “I just… felt a little out of place back there.”
Something about saying it aloud made the thought sharper. You’d never felt out of place with Leah. Leah’s friends never made you feel small or ridiculous. They asked questions about your work because they were genuinely interested, not because it was adjacent to someone famous. They also complimented your clothes and did not make you feel stupid for having an interest in fashion. They made space for you, let you feel like you belonged. You didn’t have to prove yourself at all.
Tell me who your friends are and I’ll tell you who you are, the thought flickered across your mind.
Cassie’s expression softened as she saw the doubt in your eyes. “Hey, hey. Sorry. They can be a bit tough on girls I like.”
You froze and just like that, it felt like all thoughts melted into a puddle that was vacuumed out of your brain.
“You… what?” you asked carefully.
Cassie bit her lip as if she realized she’d said too much. “Oops. Guess I slipped.”
Your heart was thudding now, loud in your ears.
She took a step closer, lowering her voice so it was just for you. “Let me make it up to you. Let’s go somewhere quieter, just the two of us. Continue what we were doing a while ago, catching up. Yeah?”
You swallowed, the tension coiling in your stomach finally loosening just enough to let you nod. “Yeah. Okay.”
Cassie grinned, clearly pleased, and took your hand again. “Good. Come on, babe.”
Cassie took you to a more secluded area of the section, flagging a waitress down to bring you two more shots. With more alcohol in your system and without her asshole friends making unnecessary comments, you felt more comfortable, slowly forgetting more and more about all your apprehensions and doubts.
“Yeah, I just feel sick of dating around now, honestly.” Cassie leaned back against the velvet sofa, one arm stretched over the backrest, her glass dangling from her other hand. Her words were slightly slurred. “I just want something more serious, you know. Commitment and stuff.”
Those words rang in your ears.
“Yeah?” You said, giggling a bit as you heard her say it.
“Why are you laughing?” Cassie asked, moving closer to you on the velvet sofa you both were sitting on.
“I mean… it’s why you ended things with me.” You reminded her, watching her pour you another drink from the bottle she had ordered. “Remember? You said you weren’t ready to commit and that you weren’t looking for a girlfriend.”
Cassie laughed, shaking her head. “I made a mistake, clearly. I should have known better and should’ve just… stayed.”
You bit your lip as you watched her lean towards you, eyeing your eyes and lips. “Be honest, Cassie.” You said, pausing to put your glass to your lips, drinking more to put up with how intense it was getting. Cassie was so close you could feel her heat radiate to you and feel her knee press against yours. “Do you still think about me? About us? Because I honestly… haven’t moved on from us.”
If Phoebe could hear you right now, she would have kicked your ass. But you couldn’t really care too much, not with the amount of alcohol in your system. Cassie’s proximity didn’t help with mental clarity either.
“Sure.” Cassie nodded without hesitation, her mouth curving into a smug little smirk. “I think about you and me. How good we looked together.”
You blushed, cheeks warming. “Yeah?”
Cassie leaned closer, tucking a loose strand of hair behind your ear. “Of course, we were the it couple then.” She said, voice low. “I mean, you made me look even better. We just suited each other so much.”
You blinked. “Made you look better?”
Cassie continued, careless with her words, the alcohol loosening her tongue. “Yeah, we were iconic. I was the star football player and you were the pretty girlfriend who worshiped me. We practically invented the art of WAGs. I loved that for us.”
You stared at her, a bit confused about what she was saying, feeling a bit of acid from your stomach rise. “You liked that I worshiped you?”
She nodded. “Yeah, I should’ve been happy and content with that, locked you down and shit.” She said. “I seriously fumbled you. Like, imagine if we were still dating now.”
You hummed inquisitively, pausing and staring at your drink as you tried to process what she was saying.
Cassie’s voice cut through your thoughts. “I was honestly worried when I saw those posts of people thinking you were dating Leah.”
Your head snapped up at the mention of Leah.
Cassie kept going, oblivious to your reaction. “Yeah, I wanted to go online and tell everyone, like, ‘hey, that’s my ex.’”
You nodded. “Did you?”
Cassie furrowed her eyebrows. “I mean, yeah, I told some people.”
You tilted your head. “And what exactly did you tell them?”
Cassie shrugged. “Well, when I first thought you were actually dating Leah, I lowkey bragged that I got Leah’s girl before she did.” She laughed, pouring more alcohol into each of your glasses. “That was before I reached out and found out you two were just buddies.”
“Hmm, and you reached out to me… because of what again?” You asked, trying to piece things together.
“Just to check if my ex is really dating Leah,” she chuckled then paused. “And well, of course, because I regret letting you go. I mean, you’re a great girl. Obviously stunning, of course.”
You chuckled dryly. “And you thought about all of that because of Leah?”
Cassie must not have caught your tone, the shift in your demeanor. “Yeah. I thought, if you were good enough for Leah, you’re obviously good enough for me.” She grinned like she’d said something flattering. “And when I found out you weren’t dating her… honestly, that was great. I had a shot again.”
And just like that, you felt your stomach drop. The air suddenly felt thin and your throat suddenly felt dry. You stared at Cassie and it felt like you were seeing her clearly for the first time, as if a fog had cleared.
Everyone was right – Phoebe, your friends, even the little voices in your head that had been nagging you since earlier that night.
Cassie hadn’t reached out because she missed you. She reached out because she liked the idea of someone else – someone like Leah – having you. She liked who you were associated with and what you could provide her: a better image, connections to actual players, and not you as a person. She didn’t actually like you.
“Uh, where’s the washroom again?” you blurted out, cutting her mid-sentence. Your voice sounded too high, too tight, but you didn’t care.
She blinked and looked a bit annoyed at the interruption. “Uh… it’s by the door.”
You nodded, taking your glass, downing the entire thing and wincing at the sting of the liquor before standing up. As soon as you stood, you felt the alcohol hit, the room spinning a bit. Suddenly, everything felt blurrier.
You felt yourself stumble a bit, steadying yourself by holding onto the backrest of the couch for a moment. Cassie didn’t bother to help. She just sat there, pouring herself another drink. You turned away before she could say anything else.
You didn’t know what you wanted to do at that point. You just knew that you had to get out of there before you got too emotional, already feeling something bubbling up your chest.
You didn’t go to the bathroom. Your legs carried you straight to the door, past the bar, past the bouncer, out into the cold night air. The cold air nipped against your skin.
You opened your bag with clammy and clumsy hands, fishing around for your wallet, just determined to flag a cab and get out of there. But you couldn’t find your wallet. There were receipts, lip gloss, hand sanitizer but no wallet.
“Fuck,” you muttered. You checked again, shoving everything to one side of your bag.
“Fuck, fuck, fuck!” You groaned, remembering that you had left your wallet in your other bag, the one you were initially going to bring but switched to the current one because the shape of this one suited your look more.
You looked back at the club, biting your lip. You could go back in, ask Cassie or Haley or whoever for cab money. But honestly, the last thing you wanted was to see any of them again tonight, not when you were pissfaced drunk and on the verge of a breakdown.
“Phoebe, please answer.” You hissed under your breath.
You pulled out your phone with shaking hands, scrolling for Phoebe’s contact and hitting call.
“Please answer,” you whispered under your breath, your voice shaking. The phone rang and rang, and then went to voicemail.
You stood there for a second, staring at the screen, feeling a bit hopeless. You were cold, alone, absolutely drunk, and had nothing but loose change inside your bag to pay with.
You bit your lip, feeling your heart tighten. You were left with one option.
Leah’s chest was practically jumping out of her chest as she drove. For a moment, she considered that maybe part of her knew this was coming because her body simply refused to sleep that night. She drank nighttime tea, ate a couple melatonin gummies, and even tried listening to calming ASMR but to no avail.
It was pissing her off a while ago but now, she was grateful that she hadn’t fallen asleep or else, she would have missed your text.
“There she is,” she muttered under her breath as she pulled up closer to a club, your shiny black dress catching light from her headlights as she approached.
She quickly pressed on the hazard light button as she parked, swiftly getting out of the car. She walked up to you, immediately seeing from your stance and demeanor alone that you were drunk.
As soon as you saw her, you wrapped your arms around her, feeling the tears roll down your face. The emotions finally burst out at that moment; it felt like your heart was just waiting for Leah to arrive to absolutely explode inside your chest.
“Are you okay? Did anyone hurt you?” Leah said, rubbing circles on your back, eyeing the club entrance where the bouncer was confusedly looking onto the scene.
You shook your head. “No, no, but I just… feel stupid.” You said in between shaky breaths, tears impairing your vision.
Leah sighed, clueless and confused about why you were bursting out crying now when just hours ago, you were excitedly telling her about going out tonight.
“Okay, let’s get you in the car first then we can talk. Is that okay?” She asked, gently guiding you into the passenger seat.
You stumbled into the car, trying to get yourself together but you just couldn’t help but cry out of frustration. You had been yearning and chasing after Cassie for so long despite what Phoebe and your other friends had said to you. You wanted to prove them wrong, show them that they just weren’t seeing what you were, but they all turned out right.
You wanted to be pissed at Cassie for being such a self-centered prick but mostly, you were just pissed at yourself for allowing yourself to act so stupidly.
Leah glanced at you as she started driving back to her place. Her chest loosened a little now that you were beside her, safe in the passenger seat, but worry still weighed heavy. Your makeup was streaked from crying, your shoulders shook every so often like you were trying to stop the sobs before they could rise again. She sighed, feeling her heart hurt a bit just seeing and hearing you all torn up like that.
“I take it that it didn’t go as smoothly as you would have liked,” She started to say carefully.
You nodded, sniffling, lips trembling. You fidgeted with the hem of your dress, pulling it down a bit, feeling a bit insecure since the whole exchange with Cassie.
Leah frowned, glancing at you again when the silence stretched. “Who made you cry like that? What happened?”
You started speaking shakily but you were too incoherent, speech a bit slurred from the alcohol while also being too garbled in between sobs and hiccups. “She… said– I, hic, I don’t–” Your voice broke.
“Hey, okay, just breathe.” Leah instructed in a gentle voice. t the red light she reached over, threading her fingers through yours, squeezing firm and steady. “Just breathe with me, yeah? You’re alright now. You’re with me.”
Her voice, certain but gentle, cut through the incoherence of your inebriated thoughts. You held her hand tightly as if it were a lifeline, forcing yourself to breathe in and out as she did. Slowly, you felt yourself calm down a bit, sobs growing quiet until you could finally string words together.
You listened to her guide you through your breathing, trying to collect yourself. Soon, you were calm enough to continue telling Leah what happened.
You told her about Cassie’s friends judging you, how Cassie was more interested in Leah than you, how she talked about how she missed you worshiping her. Leah’s jaw tightened as her grip on the wheel hardened. Her knuckles stood out pale against the leather, but she kept her eyes on the road. “She actually said that?”
You nodded, wiping your cheeks with shaky hands. “It was like she didn’t even realize what she was saying. Like she thought it was a compliment.”
Leah was shocked at herself and how frustrated she was for you since you had practically just met… and yet, she already cared so much about you and hated how hurt and torn you were over that narcissist.
“I know it sounds petty, Leah.” You said, wiping your face with both hands. “But just… all of it hurts so much. Especially realizing how stupid I’ve been holding on to her. I should’ve known better.”
Leah felt herself frowning even more as she heard you blame yourself for the situation when clearly, it wasn’t your fault that Cassie was a selfish and opportunistic cunt.
Ever since women’s football got a bit of attention, especially after England won the Euros, Leah has gotten used to people wanting to get closer to her for clout or to further their own interests. It didn’t bother her anymore; she figured it was all just part of success.
It was different when she saw you tangled up in it, hurt by someone so transparently opportunistic. Leah could stomach people clawing at her, but watching you get torn down by it made her blood boil.
Fucking clout-chasing social climber, Leah thought, shaking her head.
“Cassie’s a fucking asshole,” Leah practically hissed, unable to keep it in anymore. “I’m really sorry she hurt you but I’m glad you’re distancing yourself away from her now. She’s not worth another second of your time.”
You nodded, wiping your face for the nth time. “I wish I never liked her. I wish I just would have moved on after she dumped me.” You said. “Now, what am I gonna do with that stupid jacket? I nearly dropped 400 quid on that.”
Leah chuckled, finding a bit of amusement from this dreary scene. “We can worry about that later,” she said, as she parked. “My main concern is getting you to sober up just enough so your head doesn’t hurt in the morning.”
“Just wait for me, okay?” Leah said, as she turned the engine off. “I’ll meet you there on the other side. Don’t go out by yourself.”
You nodded, obediently.
Leah jogged around to your side, easing the door open and looping your arm over her shoulder. You wobbled in your stilettos, muttering under your breath about your poor shoe choice, and she steadied you with a hand at your waist. Together you made it to the building, her steps slow to match yours, guiding you gently toward the elevator.
Soon, the two of you stumbled into Leah’s apartment. She turned on the apartment lights, allowing you to look around the place. “Just sit on the couch first and I’ll get you water with some rehydration salts, okay? Just stay put.”
You plopped down on the couch, immediately taking off your heels and kicking them off, before laying down on it. You stared at Leah’s photos on the shelves and on the wall, photos of her family, of her team. Your eyes slowly wandered to the corner of the living room where Leah had a vinyl player and some loose vinyls.
You liked how her place looked lived-in and cozy but also, put together. It was deliberate but not posed or contrived; it suited her a lot.
Leah headed back to you from the kitchen. “Okay, come on, just finish this glass and then I’ll take you to bed.” She said, urging you to sit back up. “Come on, babe. You need to rehydrate or else you’re going to regret it in the morning.”
You groaned but acquiesced, groggily sitting up. Leah held the glass to your face, helping you hold the glass as you drank from it, making sure none of it would spill. You winced at the taste of the water mixed with a sort of lightly salty and bitter taste of the electrolytes mixed in. Still, you drank it until it was all gone.
“Good. That’s good.” She plucked the glass away, setting it on the coffee table. “I’ll grab some wipes for your makeup.”
“Leaaaah, I’m s’upset.” You pouted, words slurring together, as you tugged on her arm to sit with you. “I wish I never liked her.”
She sighed, sitting back down beside you, taking your hand in hers. “I know, I know.” She said nodding. “But at least you figured it out sooner than later, yeah? No more wasting time on her.”
“Sooner should have… been sooner,” you groaned, leaning your forehead against her shoulder. “I wasted… years being hung up on her. I let her breadcrumb me.”
Leah chuckled. “Breadcrumb?” She echoed with furrowed brows.
“Yeah,” you said with drunken sincerity. “When someone gives you just enough attention to keep you hooked. It’s like… breadcrumbing a duck.”
Leah looked at you amused. “A duck?”
You nodded. “And I was a duck.”
Leah laughed at your drunken ramblings. She put a finger under your chin, urging you to look at her. “Hey, you’re not a duck. You’re a beautiful swan, okay?” She comforted you, looking into your eyes, nodding at you. “And swans don’t settle for scraps. They deserve the whole bloody bakery.”
The corners of your mouth curved up, slowly forming a smile, giggling at the silliness of Leah’s statement. You just nodded. “Okay, Leah. I can be a swan.”
“Good girl,” Leah smiled, ruffling your hair lightly before standing “You stay put and I’ll grab some wipes and makeup remover. Okay?”
You nodded, biting down on your lip. It was funny how quickly your drunken mind had shifted from heartbroken to… smitten. Now that your mind was cleared of the Cassie fog, all your drunk mind could zero in on was Leah. Now, all you could think about was her kindness, her humor, the way she was genuinely curious about you.
When she returned, she knelt in front of you, cotton pad in hand. “Hold still.” Her fingers tilted your chin gently, the cool swipe of micellar water gliding across your skin. She was focused, careful, every movement deliberate so she didn’t drag too hard. Your eyes fluttered half shut, lulled by the sensation of her touch.
“You’re cute without makeup,” she said casually, almost like she didn’t realize she’d spoken aloud. When she looked up and saw your startled eyes on her, she smiled. “Actually, you’re more than cute. You’re stunning.”
You touched your face, feeling the skin all clean and tight under your skin. “You sure I look fine without it?”
Leah nodded without hesitation. “Of course, I do. I never lie.” She smiled at you genuinely, tucking a loose hair behind your ear. “How about you change out of that dress and I get you to bed?”
You bit your lip, nodding. Leah helped you to her room, holding out her hand for you to grip onto as you wobbily went to her room. “I’ll leave you to change—“ Leah paused, about to leave the room when she saw you raising your arms up in the air, expecting her to take your dress off for you.
She sighed, biting her lip. “I, uh, I can unzip your dress for you but you gotta change into your own clothes yourself, okay?”
“Leeeah,” you interrupted, raising your arms like a child. “There’s no zipper. You gotta help me out.”
Leah nodded cautiously, approaching you. “Uh, can you turn around?”
You obediently turned, back now faced towards Leah. She pulled the dress up catefully, making sure none of the hanging sequins would scrape against your skin. You shivered a bit once you felt her knuckles graze against your bare back. She tried not to focus on your small, lace underwear and your delicately bare back as she helped you undress. As soon as the dress was off, she turned around and headed to her closet to grab a hanger to hang your dress on.
She could hear you crawl into bed as soon as you put the shirt on, pulling the comforter closer to you, snuggling into it. She cleared her throat as she turned, just making sure you were decent.
When she finally turned back, Leah stilled. You looked impossibly soft, bare-faced, drowning in her shirt, curled into her sheets like you belonged there. Something in her chest tugged hard. She flashed you a meek smile, unsure of what to feel at that moment.
“You good here?” She asked, sitting down on the edge of your bed, reaching out her hand to cup your face, thumb caressing your face.
You nodded. “Yeah, I can stay on this side and you can stay on the other.”
Leah chuckled softly. “I have a guest room. I can stay there.”
You pouted. “You’re leaving me alone?”
“No, I just want you to have more space for yourself, have time alone just in case you need to process tonight.” She said, nodding.
You sighed, disappointed by it. “Can I get a hug first?”
Leah’s face softened. “Yeah, of course,” she said, extending her arms to pull you into a hug.
The hug was warm and firm. You tucked your face into the crook of her neck, breathing her in. You closed your eyes, wishing you could commit someone’s smell to memory: the fresh smell of her shirt’s detergent, her faint perfume, her natural scent. You could feel her hand rub careful circles around your back. You practically meted into her, never wanting to let go.
When you finally pulled back, your eyes found hers. Those eyes… they were just so hypnotizingly beautiful. You couldn’t look away even if you tried. For a moment, neither of you moved. You watched her eyes flicker between your lips and your eyes. Her hand was still warm, resting on the space between your waist and hip.
Before you ever even permitted a thought to cross your mind, you leaned forward, capturing her lips with yours. You felt Leah’s hesitation initially, how her body was stiff before she loosened up, hand making its way up to your face, cupping you gently as her other hand wrapped around your waist. You kept your arms around her, almost as if you wanted her impossibly close, not wanting to let go.
Leah shifted, moving you back against the mattress, hovering above you without breaking the kiss. She deepened the kiss, licking your lips with her tongue before slowly making its way into your mouth. The intensity of it overwhelmed you, causing your back to arch and a small moan to escape your mouth.
And when Leah heard it, it was like she was taken back into reality.
She stiffened, pulling back abruptly, breaking the kiss with a sharp inhale. She blinked rapidly, dragging the back of her hand across her mouth, trying to process what just happened.
“Fuck,” she muttered, standing so quickly the mattress practically sprung up without her weight. She raked a hand through her hair, eyes darting anywhere but you. “I’m sorry… I shouldn’t have…I’ve got to go.”
You stayed where you were, lips tingling, body warm, your mind hazy from alcohol and the sudden withdrawal of her touch. You blinked at the ceiling, confused and hollow all at once, wondering if it had been real or just a cruel trick of your insobriety.
By the time your eyes drifted shut, Leah’s scent still clung to you, threaded through her shirt, heavy in your hair. You fell asleep before you could decide whether or not you regretted kissing her.
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You woke up to the sound of the doorbell, followed quickly by Leah’s voice carrying through the flat. You rubbed your eyes, immediately regretting waking up as soon as you felt the headache kick in. It had been years since you last got a hangover and you had forgotten just how fucking shitty it felt.
You sat up carefully, groaning as you rubbed your temples.
Leah must have heard your groan because she peeked through the bedroom door that was left open. “Good morning,” she exclaimed. “Breakfast just arrived. Let me just set up the plates and I’ll tell you once it’s ready.”
You nodded, still feeling groggy. You managed to swing your legs onto the side of the bed, wincing as you stood up, feeling your archs a bit tight from your tall heels from the night before. You stumbled out of the room, dragging your feet to the kitchen for water.
Leah cautiously looked at you as she set up the plates, trying to see if you had remembered last night. “Good sleep?” Leah asked carefully. “Do you remember much from last night?”
You set the glass down and grimaced. “I feel like shit. All I remember is calling you after Cassie made me cry and my feet killing me.”
Leah hummed, staring at you as you plopped down on the kitchen chair. You noticed Leah staring so you looked up. And as soon as you locked eyes, all the events of last night came pouring in. It was as if the hangover was vacuumed from your brain and replaced with a shit ton of shame.
“What?” It was all you could muster.
Leah shook her head, looking away, figuring that she’d rather not bring it up to not make things awkward. “Uh nothing,” she said, proceeding to take the food out of brown paper bags. “Wasn’t sure what you’d like so I ordered a yogurt parfait and a full English breakfast. Just take your pick.”
You bit your lip, suddenly feeling a bit awkward now that the memory of last night was starting to come back to you, still unsure whether or not you had dreamed that up. “Uh, I’ll take the yogurt.”
“Good choice,” Leah responded, placing the bowl in front of you. “I have some blueberries too, just in case you want them. Let me get it.”
Leah walked to the kitchen, leaving you momentarily alone at the table with just your thoughts. You looked over at Leah, trying to find a single indication that last night happened. But nothing about her body language seemed to attest to the fact that that had actually happened.
Fuck. Was it real? Or just some drunken hallucination you’d convinced yourself of actually happening?
You sighed. Real or not real, there was only one thing you were sure of: that your feelings for Leah were definitely changing. If you had kissed her, then clearly that had to mean something. And if you hadn’t and yet had a vivid dream about kissing her, then that just confirmed what you had been worrying about.
Leah returned with the berries, setting them down in front of you before settling into her chair with her own plate. “So,” she said as she poured herself a glass of water, “how are you feeling? Aside from the obvious hangover, of course.”
You paused. “I don’t know. Confused?”
Leah nodded. “You think you’re ready to move on from Cassie?”
You sighed before reaching to grab some berries, sprinkling some onto your yogurt. “I’d be a fool if I said no.” You responded, mixing your yogurt with a spoon. “I guess, it’s time to move on to sexier pastures.”
Leah chuckled at the recall back to her joke, shaking her head. “So, you’re good?”
You nodded, though the word caught in your throat. Am I?
Cassie was out of the picture, and that should have been a relief. Because that meant that you no longer had to chase after her, to yearn for her, and to convince your friends that she wasn’t the massive asshole she actually was. But then again, if the kiss was real, Leah’s silence meant she didn’t want it or she thought it was a mistake. Neither seemed good.
And if it wasn’t real and if it was just a dream. then what did it say about you that your subconscious had gone there at all?
“Yeah,” you said finally, forcing the lie. “All good.”
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“So you two haven’t talked the past few days?” Phoebe asked, looking at you over the rim of her mug with that knowing expression. Phoebe saved you from an awkward conversation with Leah the other day. While you were grateful that she picked you up from Leah’s house, she did talk your ear out about how you were being stupid for being so avoidant.
You sighed, setting your cup of tea down on the office kitchen counter. “I mean… technically, we’ve talked. Like, she sends me something random and I react with an emoji, or she asks me like, logistics about the wedding and stuffi. But we haven’t really talked-talked.”
“Talk-talk,” she repeated, raising an eyebrow. “You mean you haven’t talked about the kiss.”
You winced. “Yes. About that.”
“Uh-huh,” Phoebe said, sipping her coffee. “And remind me…when’s the wedding again?”
You let out a breath. “Two days from now.”
“Two days.” She paused for a moment, as if she was holding back from scolding you again. “And how are you feeling about it?”
“I don’t know. I haven’t stopped thinking about it, that’s for sure.” You sighed. “But the more I think about it, the more I start to convince myself that maybe I just… imagined the whole thing.”
Phoebe raised an eyebrow. “Imagined it. You’re seriously going on with that narrative? You were drunk, not high on shrooms or ketamine. I’m pretty sure she kissed you.”
You groaned. “It’s not like that. It’s just… Leah’s Leah. I might have initiated the kiss and she just didn’t push me or pull away because she’s nice and doesn’t wanna embarrass me. Like, she’s just a decent person like that.”
“Or maybe,” Phoebe said. “She kissed you because she wanted to.”
You made a face, pushing your cup away. “I just don’t know how to act around her now. I’ve been… avoiding her. Making excuses not to hang out again like I told her I’ve been swamped with work, which, technically, isn’t even a lie… but that never stopped me from hanging out with her before.”
Phoebe tilted her head. “And how’s she taking that?”
You shrugged. “She’s…fine? I think? She still texts and stuff. She doesn’t seem so bothered by it so that just adds on to my theory that the kiss didn’t happen or that she doesn’t wanna embarrass me by bringing it up.”
Phoebe gave a low hum. “You do realize that aduls communicate and talk to clarify things instead of acting like high schoolers who just mope around and assume.”
Before you could reply, the sharp sound of heels echoed down the hallway. Monica appeared in the doorway, the click of her Louboutins cutting through the quiet. Her hair was perfectly blown out, bouncing behind her.
“Good morning, ladies,” Your boss greeted.
“Morning, Monica,” you chorused.
Monica turned toward you, lowering her designer glasses just slightly. “Don’t forget about that article you’re submitting this week. I haven’t gotten a first draft from you which I find irregular.”
You blinked. “Article?”
“The one I told you about… how I’m finally willing to publish something under your byline now that you’ve been with the magazine for a year?” She chocked an eyebrow up.
“Oh! Right. Yes. Of course. Already working on it,” you lied smoothly, nodding too many times.
Monica gave you a look that said she didn’t believe you for a second but after she filed up her Stanley cup with water, she strutted out without another word.
The moment she was gone, you exhaled, slumping back against the counter.
“At least now,” Phoebe said with a small smirk, “you’ve got an excuse to actually be busy and ignore your emotional disaster for another 48 hours.”
You groaned. “I really, really don’t know what to do.”
Phoebe sighed, her voice softening just slightly. “Then maybe don’t do anything now, not yet. The wedding’s in two days. Just… take a breath, figure out what you actually want before you make things messier than they already are.” She paused. “Or, just completely ignore it and do that article for Monica. Maybe it’s just better to not think about it at all.”
You sighed.
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“So, she’s ghosting you?” Lucy asked, reaching for another fry from the bowl on the coffee table. She was sprawled out on Leah’s couch, one leg over the armrest.
Leah sighed, running a hand through her hair. “Not really ghosting. She’s just… not warm. At least noot since the kiss.”
Keira hummed as she grabbed a handful of fries herself. “Didn’t you say she didn’t even remember it?”
“That’s what she said,” Leah muttered. “But she also called her friend to pick her up right after. She didn’t even finish the breakfast I got her.”
Keira shrugged. “Maybe she just wants to keep it professional, you know? Like, sticking to the script as her fake date for a wedding, not her girlfriend.”
Leah stopped pacing and finally sat on the couch across from them. She leaned forward, resting her elbows on her knees. “Yeah. Maybe.” Her tone was flat.
Lucy exchanged a look with Keira and shook her head. “You’re missing the point, Keira.”
Keira blinked, confused. “What point?”
“Leah wouldn’t exactly like it if it was that because…” Lucy smirked. “Leah’s caught feelings.”
Leah’s head shot up, eyebrows furrowed together, giving Lucy a look.
“Oh, come on,” Lucy teased. “Why else would you call us over on a random weekday? Just admit that you really like her.”
“Yeah, okay, maybe I do like her.” Leah sighed. “I just… don’t know how to go about it now.”
Keira widened her eyes. “Ohhh… fuck, okay. I thought you just missed us. So you didn’t actually want to hang out, you wanted a free, emergency therapy session.”
Leah sighed. “I feel like I was too fixated on wanting to convince Elle that we looked like a real couple and how to look the part that it took me forever to realize that maybe I was starting to like her.” Leah voiced out her thoughts. “Initially, really, I just thought we were getting on well as friends but then, I started to miss her and started wanting to hang out with her every chance I get.”
Keira scoffed. “I mean, I feel like you should have lowkey expected this to happen. She’s exactly your type and you two act like a couple. There was always a huge chance that you’d at least develop a small crush.”
“But the thing is, I thought I couldn’t possible have.” Leah retorted quickly. “Because I wasn’t really exactly over Elle yet.”
Lucy frowned. “Honestly, I don’t see a big dilemma here, Leah.” She said. “I’m sure she just found it awkward that you two kissed and she just wanted to respect your boundaries since she probably also knew that you weren’t over your ex. That doesn’t mean that she doesn’t like you.”
“I guess…” Leah paused, thinking it over. “But I still can’t be so sure that she does because that girl Cassie might still be in the picture.”
Lucy frowned. “Wait, hold on. Wasn’t Cassie the one who made her drink herself half to death? The one she was crying about when you picked her up?”
“Yeah, but their dynamic is kinda that toxic cycle where she just ends up always going back to Cassie.” Leah countered. “I don’t know if she’s completely broken out of that cycle yet.”
“Personally, I think getting piss-faced drunk and sobbing is a great indication that she’s over that girl, but that’s just me.” Keira said, patting the salt off of her hands.
Leah seriously considered it, rubbing her temples as she thought it through. “But what if…” She started, garnering a groan from the two. “What if I freaked her out when I kissed her? Like what if she thought I was trying to take advantage of her because she was drunk and I wasn’t.”
“If she thought that, she would have blocked you by now, Leah.” Lucy said, groaning in frustration. “Why can’t you just be a bit positive and think of the most likely scenario which is she also likes you but she just doesn’t know how to say it yet.”
Keira nodded in agreement. “Yeah, you can’t assume that she hates you and shit Maybe she’s just overwhelmed.” She added. “You said she’s got that wedding in two days, right? You’re still going with her, yeah?”
Leah nodded slowly. “Yeah.”
“Then I say, use that opportunity.” Keira said simply. “Use it as a way to gauge your feelings and her feelings.”
Leah nodded, urging Keira to continue. “I mean, treat it like a real date and ctually show her what it could be like to be with you in a real way, not just in a pretend way.” Keira said. “You can even ask her to be more natural, just so you can see for yourself if you do see yourself with her in that way.”
Lucy chimed in, pointing at Leah with a fry like a therapist with a pen. “Exactly but like show her your best side: make her laugh, make her feel comfortable again, treat her like a princess.” Lucy nodded. “But don’t force anything, but, like, genuinely just show her a good time. Then, at the end of the night, tell her the truth. Tell her you’d like to give it a real shot. Worst case scenario: she says no. Best case…”
“She feels the same way.” Keira finished, grinning.
Leah groaned, leaning back into the couch. “Isn’t that too soon? Or too late? Fuck, I don’t even know anymore.”
“Relax,” Lucy said, chuckling. “Just be honest. Manage your expectations, but don’t hold back either. If she doesn’t feel the same, at least you’ll walk away knowing you tried. You’ll still have a good memory out of it.”
Leah stayed quiet for a while, staring at the coffee table like it might have answers. The idea scared her. The thought of laying everything bare, of being rejected… it certainly was easier said than done.
But maybe that was precisely what she needed to do. Maybe it was not about putting on a show for everyone else, maybe not even putting on a show to get you to like her back, not chase some fantasy, but just… show you what kind of girlfriend she could be.
And also show her the kind of love and relationship you deserved.
Because if there was one thing Leah had learned from watching you fall apart over Cassie, it was that you had been with people who only ever took. Now, maybe it was time to be withsomeone who gave.
Lucy stretched her arms over her head and broke the silence. “Well, seems like Leah’s had her big epiphany.” She grinned. “Now, where the hell is our pizza delivery? I’m starving.”
──────────────────────────────
Leah could feel her hands grow clammy and her stomach turn a bit as she waited in the hotel lobby. She fiddled with the button of her pinstripe blazer.
She bought this suit primarily for three reasons: (1) she looked fine as hell in it; (2) she knew Elle would clench her jaw a bit at the fact that Leah wasn’t following the dress code; and (3) even if it would piss her off, Elle would fucking love just how fine Leah looked in that suit.
But now, standing there in the middle of the lobby, nervously waiting for you… all of that didn’t matter anymore. Now, all she could think about was you. Not Elle, not the “fake girlfriend” thing, not even the wedding. Just you.
She exhaled deeply, muttering self-assuring phrases under her breath. She fidgeted with the hem of her blazer. Though, it felt like none of her self-soothing was working. Her palms were still sweaty and her collar felt tight. Every time she tried to steady herself, her heartbeat only grew louder. She was incredibly tense and on edge.
Then she saw you.
You walked through the lobby doors, the sound of your heels sharp against the marble floor. She’d already seen you in this dress when you first bought it but…it felt different now.
The blue dress you wore moved like it was made to cling onto your body perfectly, and the frills on the slit of the dress was flowing with your every step. You looked around the room, clearly looking for her. For a moment, she didn’t want to call your attention; Leah wanted to experience the feeling of being a mere observant, someone randomly just blessed with your presence. It was totally different watching you without you being aware of her presence, just seeing you in your natural state. She was utterly captivated by you.
“That her?” Phoebe pointed out to you, finger directed to Leah who was standing by the gigantic, floral centerpiece in the middle of the hotel lobby.
You looked up and froze.
Leah was already staring at you. Her makeup was soft and simple except for the faint shimmer on her eyelids and the warm tint of her lips. Her effortless kind of beautiful made your chest feel tight. You swallowed hard, trying to convince yourself to breathe normally as you walked towards her.
You stopped just in front of her, smiling nervously. “Hey.”
Leah’s lip curled into a crooked smile as she eyed you up and down. “Wow, I’m lucky to have such a beautiful girlfriend.” Leah said before she could stop herself. Her voice came out a little too casual, like she was trying to cover up the fact that she meant every word.
It took a while before Leah even noticed Phoebe, a bit too captivated by you. When she turned to Phoebe, her eyes widened a bit, offering her hand. “You must be Phoebe?” Leah asked, remembering the stories you used to tell her over your late-night text sessions.
Phoebe chuckled, shaking Leah’s hand firmly. She smirked, thinking that Leah must’ve been so hypnotized by you if she took that long to notice that she was there too. “Yeah. Nice to meet my best friend’s fake girlfriend.”
You shot Phoebe a look, but she only raised her brows in amusement. The two engaged in small talk and you barely even caught onto what they were saying. All you could focus on at the moment was how unfairly good Leah looked standing there in that suit, her tie slightly loosened, her hand brushing through her blonde hair as she laughed softly at something Phoebe said.
“Anyway!” Phoebe clapped her hands, jolting you back to reality. “I assume I don’t need to pick you up later? You two staying here for the night?”
Leah turned to you, her gaze locking onto yours like she was asking permission with her eyes. “Yeah,” she said quietly. “If that’s okay with you.”
Your throat went dry. You never planned to stay with Leah considering that you were still struggling with your feelings and the complicated situation you were in but you couldn’t help it. You really wanted to be with her. Especially since this might be the last day you two were “together.”
“Yes. Yeah, that’s perfectly fine.” You smiled.
Phoebe’s eyes flicked between the two of you. The tension was so intense. “Alright, well, text me later, okay?” she said, leaning in to hug you. “Try not to implode.”
You muttered an “okay” as Phoebe walked away, throwing you one last knowing smile before disappearing through the doors.
When you turned back to Leah, she was still watching you, eyes soft and unreadable.
“By the way,” she said after a beat, “wow.”
You felt your cheeks heat instantly. “You do know we don’t have to pretend right now, right? It’s just us.”
Leah’s lips curved into a small smile, though her voice stayed steady. “I’m not pretending,” she said simply. “You look… absolutely stunning. I can’t take my eyes off you. I was just trying not to seem rude to your friend but really all I wanted was to keep looking at you.”
Your stomach flipped. You tried to play it off, to anchor yourself before you drowned in whatever this was. “You don’t look so bad yourself,” you said, voice a little unsteady.
“Thanks, I really tried today.” She chuckled. “I wanted to impress you, of course.”
You laughed lightly, partly to cover the flutter in your chest. “Mission accomplished, then.”
“Well,” she said, straightening her jacket, “I got us a car. I’m ready to go if you are.”
Your brows lifted. “You got us a car? Leah, the wedding venue’s literally around the corner.”
“Hello,” she said, as if it were obvious. “Do you think I’d make you walk? You’re getting the full princess treatment today.”
You tried to roll your eyes, but your smile and the blush on your cheeks gave you away. “You’re ridiculous.”
“Maybe,” she said, holding out her hand. “But I’m ridiculous and chivalrous.”
You took her hand, trying not to think too hard about how natural it felt. She led you out to the waiting car, opening the door for you with a small bow that made you laugh. Once inside, you clasped your hands in your lap, too aware of the quiet. The city sounds faded behind the windows.
Leah slid in beside you, stealing small glances your way.
“So,” you said finally. “Ready to put on a show?”
Leah looked at you for a long moment, then smiled. It wasn’t her usual charming grin, but something gentler. “I want to try something,” she said.
Your heart skipped. “What?”
“What if,” she started carefully, “we don’t put on too much of a show? What if we just… treat this like an actual date?”
You blinked at her. “Not pretend?”
She chuckled softly. “Of course we’ll still pretend, tell people we’ve been together longer than a few weeks, all that. But I mean…” Her gaze dropped to your hands, then back to your face. “What if we just treat this like a date? Just two people going to a wedding, enjoying it. You know… to make it feel more natural. Just have good, authentic fun together.”
Her voice was low, sincere.
You thought about the kiss… that confusing, breath-stealing, world-tilting moment you’d been replaying in your mind since it happened. You thought about how dangerous this was, how you might fall harder if you weren’t careful. And this proposal of hers – to treat today like a real date – certainly was risky. It practically increased the chances of you completely falling heels over head in love with her.
But when you looked at her, saw the genuine warmth in her eyes, the nervous smile, the hopeful look in her face… something in you softened. Something overwhelming all logic.
You smiled faintly. “Okay. Let’s be girlfriends today.”
Leah’s eyes brightened, a small laugh escaping her as she leaned back. “Great.”
Fuck, I’m doomed.
──────────────────────────────
Leah held your hand as you two walked inside the large gazebo-like structure where the wedding was being conducted. The reception looked like something out of a dream. Rows of blooms in soft pink, cream, orange, and peach framed the aisle, and overhead, a canopy of flowers hung like chandeliers. Gold Chiavari chairs stood neatly in rows, each one topped with a small canvas drawstring bag for the guests. There was also a string quarter at the back of the gazebo, playing classic love songs. It was the kind of wedding you’d see in magazines.
You hadn’t even taken in half of it when a girl in a long yellow dress appeared, her face lighting up as soon as she spotted Leah. “Leah! I missed you!” she said, weaving through the crowd until she reached her, wrapping Leah in an enthusiastic hug.
“Yeah, been a while.” Leah responded then she glanced at you, slowly snaking her arm around your waist and pulling you close, making you blush. “This is my girlfriend.”
Your breath hitched as she said it. Girlfriend. It rolled off her tongue so easily, so naturally, that for a second you forgot this wasn’t real. You’d studied her face trying to catch any hint of hesitation… but there wasn’t any.
The girl looked at you both with mild surprise. “Woah, Leah. So the rumors are true.”
Leah laughed. “Well, yeah.” She shrugged, smiling proudly.
The girl turned her attention back to you. “I’m Annie, Elle’s cousin.”
You introduced yourself, your voice coming out quieter than you intended. Annie’s gaze lingered a second too long, the polite kind of scrutiny that still managed to make you feel exposed. You tried to smile back, shifting your weight slightly as Leah and Annie caught up, their small talk fading into the background. You could feel Annie’s eyes flicker to you now and then, and you had to look down at your heels just to keep from fidgeting.
Eventually, someone called Annie over, and she excused herself with a quick wave, leaving you and Leah alone.
“Fuck, I don’t know if I can do this.” You mumbled under your breath.
Leah pulled you closer by the waist. “You’re doing great, babe,” she said with a low and reassuring tone.
“I feel like I’m being judged.” You admitted quietly to Leah.
She shrugged. “Everyone’s just admiring my beautiful girlfriend.”
Suddenly, you were feeling a bit grounded. It was ridiculous how easily she could steady you with a single line.
After a few more people stopping Leah, you two finally found your seats, heart still fluttering.
You sat down, smoothing your dress and picking up the small canvas bag left on your chair. You peeked inside. “Rose petals,” you murmured, holding one up between your fingers. “And instructions to throw them toward the end of the ceremony. Elle and her partner must be very detail-oriented, huh?”
Leah chuckled, leaning closer to you. “Nah, that’s probably the wedding planner’s doing.” She said with a nod.
You followed her gaze toward the entrance, where a woman stood with a clipboard in one hand and a walky-talky in the other, her expression focused and efficient.
“Nina,” Leah said with a small grin. “She’s a good friend. We knew each other from uni, back when I was still studying accounting. She tried this whole wedding planning thing on a whim and look at her now – most popular wedding planner in London.”
You hummed. “Let me guess, you introduced Elle to her.”
Leah laughed. Just a few weeks ago, someone pointing that out would’ve hurt but now… it just didn’t matter at all. “Yeah, we talked about weddings and I told her a friend of mine planned weddings and well –” She gestured her hand to Nina.
You sighed. “Must be tough. Being here and all.”
Leah hummed, taking your hand and holding it, placing your intertwined hands on top of her lap. “I thought it would be.” She said. “But… now, I’m just enjoying being here with you.”
You stiffened a bit, feeling tense at the sincerity of her words. “Leah…” you started nervously, second-guessing yourself with the plan of treating this like a real date. It felt so dangerous, especially for you.
She shushed you. “Come on, let’s just… revel in this.”
Your eyes met and as her blue eyes melted into yours, you gulped. Before you could even say anything, she moved your hands closer to her lips, pressing a gentle kiss on it. When you didn’t say anything, Leah just smiled.
“The wedding’s gonna start soon.” She said. “Is it weird that I’m excited?”
You giggled. “Kinda, I don’t think normal people would say the same about their ex.”
“Well… normal people don’t have a stunning girlfriend as a wedding date.” She smirked at you, wigglinh your eyebrows. You rolled your eyes and averted your gaze just so you could hide the fact that you were once again incredibly flustered.
Soon, the music changed, a lilting swell that made everyone turn toward the archway. In a few beats, the entourage began to walk in: bridesmaids in muted, pastel dresses followed by groomsmen in linen suits. The dresses were in varying colors but there was still something cohesive about it. There was no doubt that the couple had great taste.
And then Elle walked in and she looked... impossibly radiant.
Her gown was made of soft ivory and tulle, the bodice delicately embroidered with floral appliqués that climbed like vines up to her slender straps. The skirt flowed effortlessly around her, airy and ethereal. A thin, sheer veil trailed behind her with small crystals embellished on it, catching the light as she walked. She held a small bouquet of pale pink and cream roses, tied with a white ribbon. Her hair was swept up into bun with a few stands framing her face.
And her face… there was just something about her that was breathtaking. She looked gorgeous, almost ethereal. Her makeup was light and natural but it still looked like she was luminous. She was the perfect woman.
You felt it then, the familiar twist in your stomach. Behind the admiration, there was something more pointed. Standing there, watching her, you couldn’t help but think how effortlessly beautiful and unreal Elle was. It was the kind of beauty that made you feel like the world had tilted slightly in her favor, like anyone else would pale in comparison beside her.
Then the nagging thought finally surfaced in your mind: How could you ever amount to that?
Leah had already learned how to love such a perfect woman. How could you ever measure up to someone like her? You might have been pretty and well-dressed but she was different, enchanting. You felt your chest pang a bit. It might’ve been jealous but it might have also been awareness that no matter what you did, you would always look smaller and less significant beside her.
You forced your eyes away and tried to breathe, grounding yourself, trying not to let it show. You felt ridiculous at that moment: jealous of a woman who was going to get married. Yet, you couldn’t help it.
And suddenly, you felt Leah’s hand find yours again, firmly holding onto you.
You turned to look at her, expecting her to be watching Elle too, but she wasn’t. While everyone else (including you) was captivated by the bride, Leah’s eyes were only on you. Only you.
She didn’t say anything. She didn’t have to.
The way her eyes gazed into yours, the way her hand held yours, the fact that you were suddenly caught up in each other’s presence as the world around you turned into a blur… something about it felt like everything was real now.
And as Leah’s lips curved into a small smile, that’s when you knew.
You have completely fallen.
──────────────────────────────
“I can’t believe you just posted that, Leah,” you said, half laughing, half horrified, staring at your phone screen. “You’re taking it too far. I swear to God.”
Leah grinned, unbothered, her arm draped casually over the back of your chair. “Is being proud of my gorgeous girlfriend taking it too far?” she asked, lifting her champagne flute to her lips. “Besides, I didn’t take a thousand photos of you at the entrance just to not post any.”
You rolled your eyes, trying not to seem too flustered as you straightened your dress, shifting in your seat. You got back to the hotel before everyone else, practically the first few people that made it to the ballroom where the reception was being held.
You looked around the place once again, still not over how gorgeous the set-up was. The canopies of soft, flowing silk floated from the ceiling. Every table was dressed in pale linen with centerpieces overflowing with cream roses and soft pink peonies. It looked like a Pinterest board come to life.
“God, this wedding is so gorgeous.” You gushed, admiring again for another time. “And they invited like a billion people. This shit must’ve cost a lot.”
Leah followed your gaze, smiling. “Yeah, it’s stunning. Nina really outdid herself. Remind me to compliment her later.”
You nodded absently, still in awe. “You should ask if I can book her in advance for my wedding too.”
“You mean our wedding,” The blonde teased, wiggling her eyebrows as she leaned closer to you.
You turned to her, eyebrows raised. “Shut up.” You swatted her arm, trying not to laugh.
She laughed quietly, then tilted her head, her voice dropping into something more curious than playful. “But seriously… have you ever thought about marriage?”
You blinked. “That’s a loaded question.”
She shrugged, a lazy, amused tilt to her mouth. “I mean… we’re at a wedding. It’s practically a crime not to ask.”
You tilted your head, trying to hide a grin. “Are you asking because you’re about to propose?” You teased back, trying to match her tone.
Her eyes sparkled, lips curving wider. “What if I am?”
“Hmm.” You pretended to think, swirling the champagne in your glass. “I might just say yes.”
Leah leaned forward, voice dropping playfully. “Yeah? Alright then, let me just get on one knee.” She said before attempting to get off her chair.
“Leah!” You nearly spilled your drink, clutching her arm before she could actually move. “Don’t you dare.”
She laughed hard, tilting her head back. “You should’ve seen your face. I’d say that’s a yes.”
You were still laughing when a group of people joined your table: two of Leah’s friends, judging by the easy way they hugged her.
“Leah!” one of them said, hugging her tight. “I thought that was you.”
“God, it’s been ages,” Leah replied warmly.
They exchanged a few quick pleasantries before the two girls settled into their seats and their gaze fell upon you, eyes curious. “So this is the girlfriend we’ve been hearing about.”
You blinked, unsure if she was joking, but Leah beat you to it. “Yeah,” she said easily, resting her hand over yours on the table. “Didn’t I tell you she was gorgeous?”
The woman’s smile widened. “You didn’t say she was this gorgeous. You’re a lucky woman, Williamson.”
Leah laughed, squeezing your hand. “I know.”
Your face grew hot, but you played along. “Leah, you’re always embarrassing me.”
“She’s not wrong though,” her friend teased. “You two look disgustingly good together. Like one of those couples from perfume ads.”
You laughed, feeling a bit more at ease.
Soon, more guests arrived and your table was filled up with people who all seemed to know Leah. The remaining stiffness and awkwardness drifted easily as the night went on. The chatter went on easily and you were able to get to know Leah’s friends more. You grew comfortable enough to even crack a couple jokes which landed, thankfully. The servers also brought plates of food and refilled your glasses more often than you realized. By the time dessert was served, the warmth of the different alcohols had settled pleasantly in your stomach, loosening every edge that had felt tense earlier.
After the dinner and the formal progrm of the reception was done, the DJ called for couples to make their way to the dance floor, playing a romantic song for couples to slow dance to. Leah stood and held out her hand.
“Come on,” she said, her grin softening the invitation. “Let’s dance.”
“I don’t know how to slow dance,” you said automatically, holding her arm tightly to prevent her from taking you to the dance floor.
“Lucky for you, I do.” She smirked, seemingly not taking no for an answer.
She pulled you gently to your feet, practically dragging you to the dancefloor. For a moment you just stood there, looking at her. Leah snaked an arm around your waist, pulling you closer to her.
“Come on, relax.” She whispered into your ear. “I got you.”
Her voice sent a shiver through your body. You took a deep inhale, trying to calm yourself down but that didn’t seem to help when all you got was a whiff of her perfume. Your heart was practically jumping out of your chest at this point.
You hesitated, unsure what to do with your hands. They hovered awkwardly between you before she carefully placed both of your hands on her shoulders. “There,” she murmured, her voice low. “See? Not that scary.”
You smiled, exhaling nervously. “I’ve never really danced like this before.”
Her brows lifted slightly, amusement glinting in her eyes. “I find that hard to believe.”
“Well, I never really been to an event that allowed me to do this with anyone or… had anyone to dance with, for that matter. As you know, I dated useless jerks.” You joked, getting a chuckle from Leah. “Which is why I don’t know exactly what to do except step side-to-side.”
Leah chuckled. “We’ll have to fix that then.”
You frowned in mock suspicion. “Fix it how?”
“By teaching you, obviously.”
Before you could protest, she adjusted your hands again, gently pressing her palm against the small of your back. “Just follow me,” she said softly. “You don’t have to think. That’s my job.”
You wanted to tell her that was impossible but then she took a slow step, and instinct kicked in. You followed. Then another step. Then another. Her movements were smooth, confident, like she was carrying the rhythm in her bones. You were acutely aware of the way her hand guided you, the light pressure at your back that told you when to move and when to pause.
The crowd faded. The song filled the space between you like something fragile, something that might shatter if you breathed too loud. You realized you were smiling.
“Hey,” she whispered, grinning down at you. “You’re not terrible.”
You rolled your eyes. “I doubt it.”
“No, really. Look at you. You’re a natural.” She complimented.
“Please, I’m counting in my head.” You shyly responded, looking down at your feet.
“Hey, don’t look at your feet,” she teased. “Keep your eyes on me.”
You looked up, meeting those eyes once again, feeling incredibly aware of how close she was to you. You bit your lip, averting your gaze again. “You’re enjoying this way too much.”
“Can’t help it,” she said. “You look so conscious, like you’re trying to solve a math problem.”
“I am,” you murmured, half under your breath. “I just… can’t help but feel conscious, all these people around.”
Something flickered in her eyes. “Pretend they’re not real then,” she whispered in your ear. “Pretend it’s just you and me.”
Her tone was light, teasing, but there was something beneath it. The reminder of what this was landed softer than it should have. You looked up at her, at the faint gold glow touching the edges of her hair, and your chest tightened unexpectedly.
“I actually forgot we were pretending for a moment,” you said before you could stop yourself. “Is that bad?”
Leah’s hand stilled for just a second on your back. Then her smile returned, smaller, softer. “No, it’s not bad. It’s… good,” she said quietly. “That’s great. It’s exactly what I wanted to happen.”
You felt the heat rise in your cheeks and tried to look anywhere but at her. The rhythm of the song slowed, pulling you closer almost naturally. You could feel the faint beat of her pulse where your fingers touched, and for a dizzying moment, you wondered if she could feel yours too.
“Y’know,” she spoke up again, tilting her head slightly. “I think I’ve finally moved on.”
You blinked, taken aback. “Oh?”
She nodded. “Yeah. I think I’m ready for sexier pastures now.”
You laughed, shaking your head at the callback to her old joke. “You’re so ridiculous.”
“Maybe,” she said, her grin widening. “But you’re still dancing with me.”
Soon, the song shifted to a more upbeat song. The air around you seemed to buzz with energy as more guests spilled onto the dance floor. Leah tried to rope you into staying and dancing, urging you to move to the beat.
“Come on,” she said, her voice raised above the beat. “Don’t quit now. You’re finally getting the hang of it.”
You laughed breathlessly, trying to keep up with the rhythm. “I’m getting tired,” you said, shaking your head. “I think I’ll seriously hurl if I move any more. I feel like I drank too much champagne.”
“Alright, alright,” she said, brushing a strand of hair from her face. “Drink break. You earned it.”
She guided you off the floor, her hand resting at the small of your back. You two settled at the bartender at the corner of the room.
Leah gestured to the bartender. “Two glasses of water, please.”
“When you said drink break, I thought you meant we were getting shots or whatever.” You muttered playfully, earning a grin from her.
“Someone’s gotta keep you alive through this night,” Leah teased. “Come on, drink up before I have to carry you out of here.”
You smiled at her, taking a sip of the cold water. Leah smiled as she watched you, taking a sip from her own glass, moving closer to you as she leaned on the bar. Her shoulder brushed against yours. The warmth of her body, the faint smell of her perfume made it hard to focus on anything else. You wanted to say something, maybe thank her for making everything tonight feel easier than it should have been, or maybe even bring up how you actually feel, but the words got caught somewhere between your heart and throat.
How many more shots of alcohol do I need to get the confidence to say something, you thought to yourself as you traced random shapes on the condensation on the glass.
And then, a voice called out.
“Leah!”
You both turned.
Elle waved at the two of you, arm waving enthusiastically. Her wife stood proudly beside her, blazer off, draped on her arm. Both of them looked so beautiful: Elle with her model build and her effortless charm, and her wife Naomi Brookes with her athletic build and her angular features. They looked like the type of couple that would go on the cover of Sports Illustrated.
“Elle,” Leah greeted, her smile softening as she pulled her into a quick hug. “Naomi, hey.”
Naomi grinned. “You two enjoying yourselves?”
Leah nodded, gesturing toward you. “Yeah. Have you met my—”
Elle interrupted, her tone bright and warm, obviously a bit inebriated. “Not yet but wow!” She turned to you, her eyes genuinely kind. “You two look stunning.”
There was no trace of envy, no edge to her voice. Just admiration, sincere and steady. You smiled back, unsure what to say, and settled on a simple, “Thank you. Congratulations to both of you. The wedding was stunning.”
Naomi beamed. “Appreciate that. Elle practically lived on Pinterest for months. I thought she was gonna start building floral arches in our living room.”
“Yeah, my wedding planner Nina was getting like multiple Pinterest links from me in a day.” Elle laughed, bumping her shoulder. “But seeing everything come together… it paid off, didn’t it?”
Leah raised her glass. “Definitely did. You both look amazing.”
Before Elle could respond, someone from the event staff called from across the room. “Can we have all the athletes gather by the backdrop for photos, please?”
Naomi grinned at Elle. “You good here?”
Elle gave her a nod. “Go, superstar. I’ll be fine.”
Leah hesitated for a second, her hand grazing the small of your back before she stepped away. “I’ll be right back, yeah?”
You nodded, and she disappeared into the group gathering near the floral arch.
Elle turned back to you with an amused smile. “Never thought I’d end up surrounded by athletes and Olympians at my own wedding.” She said, signalling the bartender to serve her a drink. “I was just trying to get married, not host a sports summit.”
You chuckled. “I guess you had a thing for athletes, huh?” You joked, referring to the fact that she dated Leah and was now married to another athlete.
Elle laughed. “Oh, you know it.” She smiled at the sight of the group gathered by the photo backdrop. “But had I just known that it was going to be Naomi in the end, I would’ve gotten into tennis sooner.”
You chuckled, nodding.
The two of you fell quiet after that. You sipped your water, watching Leah from across the room. She was laughing at something Naomi said, her hand running through her hair, that easy smile lighting her whole face. Something in your chest tightened again.
Elle noticed. Her gaze followed yours, her expression softening into something almost wistful. “You two make a really cute couple,” she said.
You blinked, caught off guard. “Thanks.”
Elle swirled the alcohol in her glass, taking a sip and pausing before speaking again. “You know,” she started. “I worried for a long time after Leah and I broke up… that maybe I was making a mistake.”
Your fingers tightened slightly around your own glass. “Yeah?”
“Yeah,” she said, exhaling. “She’s… well, you know what she’s like: gorgeous, thoughtful, always the first to make sure everyone else is okay.”
She hummed, pausing to take a sip of her drink. “Does she still insist on paying for every date?”
You chuckled, nodding.
“And does she still buy you the most beautiful flowers ever?” She asked again.
You nodded, eyes widening. “Yes, my god. Just beautiful.”
“I still don’t know who her bouquet supplier is,” Elle joked, shaking her head. “But yeah, I really was worried that I was never gonna find anyone like her.”
You both fell into quiet laughter again. “After a moment, you asked softly, “So… why’d you break up?”
Elle’s eyes lingered on Leah, her expression soft. Elle’s smile faded. Her eyes lingered on Leah, still across the room, still radiant. “Because it wasn’t fair,” she said after a pause.
“To who?” you asked.
“To Leah,” Elle responded. “I liked her. God, I really did. I loved being around her. She made everything feel easy. But something was missing, and I couldn’t pretend that there wasn’t.”
She paused, taking a deep breath, looking over to you. “I think that she just deserves someone who saw her and who appreciated her for who she was.” She nodded. “Just like how you looked at her the way you just did out there on the dance floor.”
Your breath caught, feeling a bit taken aback by the fact that she was able to observe you and Leah. You rubbed your arm self-consciously. “We haven’t even been together that long.” You said, looking down, unsure of what to say or even feel.
Elle smiled faintly. “It really doesn’t matter.” She said, shrugging. “When you know, you know. And…I knew my wife was the one after one week.”
You looked up at her then, meeting her gaze. “Knew what?”
She gave a small, almost bittersweet smile. “I knew with my wife what I never knew with Leah,” she said softly. “And I hated myself for that for a long time. But seeing her with you tonight…” She trailed off, eyes flicking toward Leah again before turning back to you. “It makes me happy. Makes me feel less guilty for breaking her heart.”
Her voice carried no bitterness, only a quiet peace that came from having found her own happiness. You didn’t know what to say to that. You looked down, tracing the rim of your glass with your thumb, before glancing back at Leah.
Across the room, she caught your eye. Her smile came easily, like she’d been looking for you first. She waved, the soft gesture grounding you in an instant.
Your throat felt tight. You raised your hand, giving her a small smile and a wave in return.
Elle’s voice came, softer now. “I don’t think she ever looked at me like that anyway.”
She turned to smile at you. “You’re a lucky girl.”
And for a second, you forgot to breathe.
After your conversation with Elle, your head was spinning – partly because of the alcohol but mostly about what Elle had said.
You were reeling, caught between disbelief and something dangerously close to hope. Part of you was stunned to finally admit it: you were falling for Leah Williamson, completely and undeniably. Another part of you was somewhat excited, clinging to what Elle had said, that Leah looked at you differently, that maybe you weren’t imagining it. But there was still that stubborn, cautious voice in your head warning you not to read too much into it, not to let yourself fall for something that might not be real. Basically, your mind was a mess.
You slipped out of the ballroom and into the lobby which was quiet save for the soft hum of the hotel air conditioning and the slow piano music. The click of your heels echoed faintly as you walked towards one of the many empty lounge chairs tucked away in the corner of the lobby. You sank into it with a sigh, resting your elbows on your knees, phone in your hands.
You sighed, looking around the vast lobby which was now mostly empty considering it was past eleven. There were a few people from the wedding, heading out of the lobby, seemingly calling it a night. But mostly, it was just a few staff members at the reception desk and the entrance. You stared at the your phone again for a moment before you hit call.
After a couple of rings, Phoebe picked up. “Hello?”
“Phoebe, hey.” Your voice came out small, tired. “I think I’m fucking doomed.”
Phoebe groaned. “Oh my God. What did you do? Did you embarrass yourself? Please tell me you didn’t cry in front of her.”
You groaned softly. “No. I didn’t embarrass myself. I just… I feel like things are getting serious. Like, real-serious.”
There was a pause. “Was it not serious when you two kissed?”
“I mean yes but…” You ran a hand over your face, groaning. “It just feels different.”
“How?”
“It’s just everything.” You muttered before going into detail about how Leah practically hard-launched you on Instagram, the way she was so attentive of your needs the entire day, the way she introduced you to several of her friends as your girlfriend, the dance, the way she said she had moved on from Elle, and what Elle said about how Leah looked at you.
“Holy shit.” Phoebe said with an intrigued tone.
“Yeah.” It was all you could say.
“This is a good thing, babes. It just means she’s into you.” Phoebe said. You could almost hear her grin through the phone. “I mean, I’ve known that since a while ago when I practically saw you two oogle at each other but this is just solid, rock-hard proof.”
You groaned again. “So you think I should bring it up? Like… actually talk about it?”
“Uh, yeah?” Phoebe said. “You look like a princess, you’re in a fancy-ass wedding, and you clearly got a night going. It’s the best scene for a confession. What’s the worst that could happen?”
“Ew, okay, bye. Love you.” You chuckled, ending the call, then let your phone rest in your lap. You stared at your reflection in the polished floor tiles, psyching yourself up to maybe, finally, say something.
That’s when a small group of people entered the lobby from the ballroom: women in headsets and matching formal wear, their posture tired. Those were the wedding coordinators. You recognized one of them from earlier, the red-haired woman who had been barking orders when you and Leah arrived in the ballroom. They flopped down on the couch just behind yours, laughing softly as one of them kicked off her heels, clearly not noticing you.
You stayed quiet, wanting to just mull over your own thoughts. Normally, if you weren’t crashing out, you would have chatted them up, asked for their number for a potential feature article. Your boss Monica was just engaged so you were sure that woman would love an exclusive from London’s top wedding coordinating team. But you were too busy right now with your own problems to think about work.
“Yeah, Leah isn’t the type to move on that quick.”
You froze the moment you heard Leah’s name. The voice came from behind you. You straightened slightly, still slouched enough to keep your face hidden behind the tall back of the couch. You turned to confirm that the statement had come from them.
“But the girl she’s with? I overheard them say something about how they’ve been dating for a while.” The other responded, tone a bit curious.
“Well catch this… Nina said that the girlfriend she’s with right now isn’t actually her girlfriend,” said the red-haired woman. You didn’t even have to see her face to imagine her smirk. “Apparently, she heard people say that it’s just for PR or something.”
You froze as you heard it come from these strangers. You felt that Leah and you had been mostly careful dealing with your situation. You tried to be convincing today. You didn't tell anyone except for Phoebe and you were sure that Leah didn't tell much friends either. And you doubt that Leah would randomly blab to some wedding coordinator about your relationship just being pretend; it wasn't like her.
So how could they have known?
“What, seriously?” The brunette asked with a soft laugh. “Is the girl even famous? Seems like a downgrade from Elle.”
Ouch, you frowned to yourself.
“Nah, influencer, I think.” The redhead responded. “I looked up her Instagram. She just seems like your average IG girl.”
There was a pause which you presumed was them looking at your Instagram.
“She’s pretty though,” the brunette added after a pause. “Gotta give her that. But she seems… vapid, I don’t know. Every photo’s just, like, facetuned selfies and trendy Shein outfits. It’s all so curated it almost feels fake.”
I do not use Facetune, you thought to yourself. And I absolutely do not buy my outfits from Shein.
“No, cause even Leah’s friends at her table seriously looked annoyed with her.” One of them added. “You could feel the awkward tension at their table.”
You frowned. People made comments about your looks, your style, what they perceived your personality to be, even your job. You were mostly used to it but what they had said about Leah’s friends not liking you stung a bit. It was something you’ve been self-conscious of the entire day and something you tried really hard not to fixate on. So that comment just hurt. Especially since from your perspective, it seemed like Leah’s friends were very receptive of you.
The redhead hummed thoughtfully. “Honestly, Leah and Nina just make more sense. You can tell they’ve got history.”
Your eyebrow raised at the statement, unsure if you heard it right. Leah wouldn't tell just any person so if she told Nina then Nina must be... You shook away your own thoughts, not wanting to distract yourself from eavesdropping.
“History?” The other repeated.
“Oh, totally,” the redhead said, her tone picking up with interest. “We all went to uni together, right? Basically, from what I know, they didn’t date then because Nina was with that guy, Charles, but everyone knew Leah had a thing for her. And I swear, Nina even said something about Leah even trying to ask her to be her date to this wedding before finding out she was organizing the whole thing.”
You bit your lip, slightly wincing at the confirmation to your own thoughts that maybe Leah and Nina had a closer relationship than she initially told you.
“Not kidding. Nina told me herself,” the other girl replied, lowering her voice a bit. “She said Leah kind of ghosted her after that… like she didn’t want to make things awkward. But honestly? I feel like it was already awkward. Imagine your uni crush organizing your longterm ex’s wedding. It’s like something out of The L Word.”
They both cracked up laughing, their voices bouncing off the marble floors.
You bit your lip, heart hammering. Leah had mentioned Nina earlier today and you hadn’t thought much about it then. Well, there was nothing to think about since Leah hadn’t really said much of anything. But you couldn’t help but wonder that maybe there was something you missed?
You stared at the reflection of the chandelier lights on the floor, trying to steady your breathing. You wanted to be rational. You wanted to not care. But all you could think about was Leah’s easy laugh, the way she’d praise Nina earlier for her work on the wedding. Sure, it could have been nothing but then again… who were you to say for sure?
And then, one of the women spoke again.
“Nina just texted,” The ginger said, her tone perking up. “You’ll never guess what she said.”
The brunette gasped. “Tell me right now.”
“She said she came up to Leah and that they’re really hitting it off.” She shared, seemingly reading off a text. “Like Leah’s being extra flirty with her.”
The brunette snorted. “Christ. So it really is fake. Damn.”
You felt your chest tighten, the words landing like a punch.
“I wonder why Leah would need a PR relationship when she could just get any woman she wants.” One of them said.
“Probably something professional — Leah’s whole image and all that.” The other snorted. “Don’t understand how dating a D-tier influencer would help her image though.”
The two laughed, their voices echoing throughout the empty lobby. You winced, feeling a bit pained by what they were saying. It was certainly the last thing you needed at this moment.
A crackle came from one of their earpieces. “Oh, shit,” the brunette said suddenly, standing up. “We’ve got an issue with the bartenders. Let’s go.”
Their heels clicked away, chatter fading into the distance. Now, you were left again with the silence of the lobby, the hum of the air conditioning and the soft piano. You shook your head, not wanting to let a couple stranger’s perception of you change your mind.
What they said is all just… speculation. Sure, they might have hit the nail with the fact that you and Leah weren’t actually together but everything else just seemed something too hard to believe. For one, you were sure that Leah was not the type of person to carelessly flirt with some other girl when she came with you. It just wasn’t like her at all.
You stood up, straightened your dress, and decided to head to the washroom. You told yourself you just needed a minute — to fix your hair, to collect your thoughts, to remind yourself that you were fine. That you could still face Leah without falling apart, without letting those mean girls’ words get to your head.
But as soon as you pushed through the heavy door of the washroom, it felt like you were stuck in some weird nightmare scenario because inside was none other than Nina herself.
She turned, mid-lipstick application, and her eyes widened. “Oh,” she said with a small smile, pausing to turn to face you. “Hi. You’re Leah’s date, right?”
You froze, caught between politeness and wanting to vanish entirely. “Yeah,” you managed, voice steady enough. “And you’re Nina… the head wedding planner?”
She nodded, turning back to the mirror as she carefully blotted her lipstick with a tissue. “That’s me,” she said lightly. “God, I’ve been on my feet since six in the morning. You’d think after organizing a hundred of these things, I’d get used to it but it’s still a pain.”
You gave a polite laugh, moving toward the sink to wash your hands, hoping that would be the end of it. The water was cool against your skin, grounding you for all of five seconds.
Then her voice came again, conversational but calculated. “So… how’s dating Leah been?”
You looked at her through the mirror, meeting her eyes briefly, before continuing to wash your hands in the sink. “It’s good. We’re having lots of fun.”
“Mmhmm.” She capped her lipstick, smacking her lips together. Her tone was light but edged with something you couldn’t quite name. “Really?”
You turned off the faucet, forcing a small smile. “Yeah. Why?”
Nina shrugged one shoulder, the gesture almost lazy. “No reason. I just… wasn’t sure if I should say anything. Leah’s a friend, and she kind of trusted me with this conversation, so I don’t want to overstep.” Her voice sounded concerned but something about it just seemed off to you.
You furrowed your brows. “What conversation?
Nina hesitated, like she was debating whether to continue. Though the glint in her eyes said she fully intended to. “It’s just that… she mentioned something earlier…” she said softly. “About how you two aren’t really together.”
You reached for a paper towel, trying to look composed, trying not to give any emotion away but your pulse jumped. “What are you going on about?”
She turned to face you properly now, leaning casually against the counter. Her posture was relaxed, almost sympathetic. “Look, I know how rumors spread about such baseless things… and I really didn’t want to believe what I heard about Leah not actually having a real girlfriend even if I had doubts when I first heard from friends that Leah was still asking around for a date to Elle’s wedding weeks after she had RSVP’d a plus-one.” She paused. “But when I talked to Leah just now, it seemed like the gossip was true. That this was just an arrangement.”
You stared at her, your fingers gripping the edge of the sink. “And what exactly did she say?”
Nina exhaled like she hated being the messenger. “She just confirmed what I knew.” She responded, barely giving anything away.
You stayed quiet and stared at her trying to read her expression if she was actually concerned and telling the truth or saying shit to fuck with you but your mind was too clouded to make sense of anything.
“I know, it’s confusing,” Nina continued, her voice maddeningly calm. “I guess I just wanted to check with you. To make sure I wasn’t misunderstanding.”
You were just coming to terms with your feelings and the fact that maybe Leah liked you back but now there was new shit you had to deal with.
It seemed like the issues were just never ending even after you’ve already gotten past them. You had finally gotten over Cassie so she was out of the picture. Leah had finally gotten over Elle, who just got married, and so she’s also out of the picture. And, you were finally gaining confidence to say something… but now there was a Nina. It felt like you were cursed to be dealing with endless third parties.
“What do you want, Nina?” You said, tone more tired than sharp.
Nina tilted her head, unbothered. “I just want to make sure no one’s getting hurt,” she said. “Because Leah and I… we’ve known each other for a long time. We met in uni, studied together, actually. And I don’t know, maybe it’s the nostalgia talking, but when I saw her again tonight, it felt like old times. We just… clicked.”
You said nothing, just watching her reflection.
“I’ll admit,” Nina went on, a small smile tugging at her lips, “I really used to have a bit of a crush on her back then. But I was with someone else. Then she met Elle, and, well… timing, right?” She gave a small shrug. “Now we’re both single again. And I don’t know… maybe the universe is giving us another chance.”
You looked at her, your chest tightening. “Even if Leah and I weren’t actually dating, what makes you so sure she’d want to get with you? What did she even say to make you think that?”
Nina didn’t flinch. “It’s just that when we talked earler, she asked if we could catch up and go on a date. I teased her, said, ‘Are you sure you want to ask me that when you're with your date?’ And she laughed and said you wouldn't mind because you were just a friend.”
Your heart dropped, staring at her to continue.
“And… now, I just want to make sure that you really have no feelings for her too.” She continued. “Because if you did, I don’t want to get in the way and hurt you indirectly. I just wanna make sure of that.”
You swallowed hard, staring down at the marble countertop. The room suddenly felt too bright, too still. After all this time that you worked so hard to finally acknowledge the chance that Leah might actually like you back, that the kiss actually happened and that it meant something, that she wouldn't just spend all that time with you if she didn't like you...
Hearing from Nina that Leah just saw you as a friend and that Leah was interested in dating other girls... It was a shot to the chest. It was the confirmation of your worst doubts that you never wanted.
“Right,” you said quietly, shaking your head. “No, yeah, it’s fine.”
Nina gave a small, almost pitying smile. “Good. I just wanted to clear the air before I did something stupid. I mean, since it’s not real between you two, I’d like to maybe… see where things go with her again.”
You could feel your throat tighten and your eyes get hazy but you just looked away from her, not wanting her to see you hurt. You nodded. “Yeah, good luck then.”
Nina’s expression softened like she was relieved. “Thank you,” she said, touching your arm lightly before proceeding to the door. “You’re very sweet, you know. I’m glad it’s all cleared up since I didn’t want to step on any toes.”
You gave a tight smile that didn’t reach your eyes, still avoiding direct eye contact with her. “You’re not,” you said simply. “She’s all yours.”
Nina smiled one more time before leaving you alone in the bathroom.
──────────────────────────────
Leah laughed at something one of the girls said, the sound bright but barely reaching her eyes. She’d been standing near the bar for the past twenty minutes, surrounded by a handful of friends and colleagues. They were talking about the Euros, about the other’s personal athletic achievements, drinking endless shots as if to celebrate each win belatedly.
She smiled, played along, nodded in all the right places, raising and downing a shot whenever everyone else did but her gaze kept drifting toward the doors that led outside the ballroom. She noticed you stepped out around twenty minutes ago. When she asked around, Elle said you mentioned something about having to call a friend so she didn’t think much of it. But as the minutes passed, her laughter began to sound a little too forced, her drink too warm in her hand, and all she could focus on was the door, waiting for you to come back.
Where were you?
Leah excused herself, growing concerned, setting her glass down on a nearby table. Just as she was about to head toward the door, Nina walked in, a bit shocked coming face-to-face with Leah.
“Hey, Nins,” Leah called, relief flickering in her chest. “Did you see my date outside?”
Nina turned, brightening. “Leah, hey, I thought I wasn’t gonna have another chance to chat with you when your friends dragged you to talk about sports.” She smiled, rolling her eyes a bit flirtatiously.
Leah smiled, but it didn’t quite reach her eyes. “Yeah, well, you know them. They wanted to talk about the Euros for the nth time.”
Nina nodded, smiling. “So…I don’t think we were able to continue our conversation from a while ago.”
Leah furrowed her eyebrows. “Yeah, sorry. What were you saying again?”
Nina continued to talk but Leah kept getting distracted, checking the time on her phone, trying to see if there was a text from you.
Nina noticed and sighed. “You’re still always so easily distracted, huh?”
Leah chuckled, feeling guilty about zoning out again, rubbing the back of her neck. “Yeah, sorry, I might have drank a bit too much and now my attention span is all fucked.”
“Still a light weight. You really haven’t changed much, huh?” Nina tilted her head, studying her. “Still got that same charm, too.”
Leah cleared her throat, polite but distant. “Right. Hey, uh… so, did you see my date? Pretty girl, blue dress? She went out for a call or something.”
Nina’s smile lingered. “Oh, yeah. We actually talked for a bit.”
That made Leah pause. “You did?”
“Mm-hmm.” Nina’s tone was casual, almost playful. “She’s funny, actually. Said something that made me laugh.”
Leah smiled slightly, nodding to agree. Leah loved your sense of humor, how you made her laugh without trying. “Oh really? What did she say?
Nina leaned in just a little, voice dropping. “That you two were just on a pretend date.”
Leah’s stomach dropped, not expecting what Nina had just said. “What?”
Nina shrugged, as if it wasn’t a big deal. “Yeah. I mean, I’d heard that rumor floating around… you know, from a couple of your old mates… but hearing it from her? That was a surprise.”
Leah blinked, a quiet tension creeping into her chest. “Why would she say that?”
“I don’t know,” Nina said, watching her reaction, a bit taken aback by the fact that Leah seemed distraught. “Maybe she didn’t want me to get the wrong idea. I mentioned I used to have a crush on you in uni and that I was trying to ask you out just a while ago.”
“Wait, why would you tell her that?” Leah frowned, tone a bit more hostile than she intended.
Nina tilted her head. “Because that was what we were talking about a while ago?”
Leah furrowed her eyebrows, trying to remember the conversation she had with Nina after she got her photos taken but nothing seemed to come to surface. “What?”
Nina laughed but it sounded more frustrated than amused. “You said that I did a good job planning the wedding and that we should catch up.”
Leah grimaced. “Yeah, I tell everyone we should catch up. I don't mean it literally. It's just a turn of phrase." Leah groaned, rolling her eyes.
The wedding planner’s mouth dropped a bit, looking taken aback, blinking. “Well so you aren’t –”
Leah shook her head. “Never mind that, so what did my date say when you told her that?” She asked, tone sharp.
She just couldn’t help but feel annoyed that Nina would say something like that to you. Leah had been working so hard on making you comfortable, leading herself up to the later tonight when she’d finally ask you to be her girlfriend and Nina might have just ruined it.
Nina frowned. “She said that I should just go ahead and take my chances.”
Leah pressed her tongue against her cheek, shaking her head, refusing to believe Nina. “No, be serious.”
Nina nodded. “I am serious.” She responded annoyed. “She told me you didn’t like her that way. Sounded pretty confident about it too.”
For a second, Leah didn’t say anything. Just stood there, staring past Nina’s shoulder toward the door, trying to make sense of it. This entire night, Leah was fully convinced that you really did feel the same way and that if she asked you to actually date, that you would have said yes.
But now, she was wondering if she really had just imagined it. That maybe… you really were just good at pretending.
“Leah, are you okay?” Nina asked after she noticed Leah had not been paying attention to what she was saying for the past minute, seemingly zoned out. “Do you need a water or something?”
“Yeah, no, I’m good.” Leah responded, clearing her throat.
Nina’s smile faltered a little. “Hey, don’t take it the wrong way. I was just checking with your date if it really was all good. I didn’t want to make a move on you—”
“Yeah, whatever.” Leah interrupted, already moving past her, pushing against Nina’s shoulder before the other girl could even say anything. She could feel her pulse hammer in her ear as she pushed through the heavy door of the ballroom, slipping out and walking to the lobby.
She looked around the lobby, frowning at the thought that maybe you had just fully ditched her. Her feet dragged her to the outside, pushing through the glass doors, immediately feeling the nip of the cool wind hit her face. She looked around the empty entrance, past the fountain and the valet, seeing nothing until she tilted her head down to catch a glimpse of the steps.
And there you were.
Sitting on the marble steps, phone in hand, head bent down, the skirt of your dress pooling around you, your face glowing in the light of the screen. You looked too calm, practically unbothered.
“Can’t wait to get out of here, huh?” she said, her tone sharper than she intended.
You looked up, startled. “Leah?” You stood, frowning. “What are you doing here? Aren’t you supposed to be talking to Nina?”
That hit Leah harder than you realized.
The name Nina rolling off your tongue so casually. Leah blinked, something hot and sharp flickering behind her ribs, taking what you said as confirmation of everything Nina had said to her.
“Yeah I talked to her and she said that you told her we weren’t actually dating.” She said with a dry chuckle. “Did you?”
“I didn’t tell her. She asked me.” You looked at her, brows furrowed. “And so what if I did, Leah? She already knew this was all for pretend anyway. I couldn’t fool her if I tried.”
Leah gave a short, disbelieving laugh. “Right. Of course.” Her voice dropped, rough. “Wouldn’t want to confuse anyone by pretending too well, yeah?”
Her tone made your jaw tighten. “What’s that supposed to mean?”
“It means,” Leah said, voice rising, “that I’ve been standing in there treating you well all night. Introducing you as my girlfriend, making sure you’re comfortable, trying to give you the time of your life — and now you’ve gone and told random people it was nothing?”
“I didn’t tell anyone anything!” you snapped. “She brought it up! What was I supposed to do, Leah?”
“At least tell her that it isn’t nothing.” Leah’s voice cracked. “Because now, I feel like a fucking fool trying to make this feel real, make you feel like this was an actual date. It’s like you don’t even see how much effort I’ve put into making you feel like what we have is real.”
You shook your head, heart pounding. “But it isn’t real, Leah!” The words came out louder than you intended, sharp and trembling. “That’s the whole point! You made that clear when you started this whole deal!”
Leah flinched, her mouth opening then closing again, like she wasn’t sure of what to say. The silence that followed was heavy, thick with everything neither of you wanted to admit.
You exhaled shakily, breaking the stillness. “And I did my part,” you said quietly. “I showed up. I smiled. I convinced everyone, including your fucking impossibly gorgeous ex, that you’re fine. That you’ve moved on. I did what you asked me to do.” You looked away, voice softening, edged with hurt. “What more do you want from me?”
Leah’s chest rose and fell, her expression tight and unreadable. Her jaw flexed once, twice. She looked betrayed but she didn’t say anything.
You looked down, arms crossing, your throat tight. “I don’t know why you even asked me to be your wedding date in the first place,” you muttered. “Would have been easier had you just asked Nina.”
Leah groaned. “I didn’t want to ask fucking Nina, okay? Why are you even bringing her up right now?” Leah practically shouted, catching the attention of the valet staff by the doors.
You blinked, taken aback by her tone. “I’m not—”
“I’m talking about us.” Leah interrupted, voice raw and desperate, almost pained. “I’m talking about how we had a great fucking night! How I tried to make everything perfect for you, how I actually thought maybe you were having fun… and now you’re just… leaving?” Her voice cracked again, anger folding into something softer. “You were just gonna walk out without even saying goodbye?”
You stared at her, confused. She seemed awfully bothered for someone who apparently was flirting with someone else just moments ago.
“Why does it matter, Leah?” your voice trembled despite your effort to keep it steady. “We aren’t actually dating. I’m not actually your girlfriend."
Leah winced at your words, feeling her heart panged. “I know we aren’t actually dating.” Her voice cracked a bit. “I know that.” She swallowed hard. “But I thought at least maybe…”
“Maybe what?”
Leah’s lips pressed into a thin line. “Nothing.” She gave a bitter laugh that didn’t reach her eyes. “I just thought you’d at least treat me with the decency of a friend.”
The silenced that followed was unbearable. Part of you knew you should have gone more rational about the situation. Leah didn’t owe you anything. She didn’t have to reciprocate your feelings or like you back. For what the deal was, she actually gave you a lot more than what she promised. You were just… selfish, wanting more from her, wanting her affection… that when you realized you never had it, you felt betrayed and hurt and misguided when really... Leah never actually misguided you. You just convinced yourself that maybe she felt the same way.
You swallowed the lump in your throat, feeling the guilt way you down heavily, because Leah was right. She had treated you kindly and you just left her after you practically confirmed to someone that you were just pretending. For certain, that kind of news in the wrong hands was going to spread like wildfire and soon perhaps everyone in the wedding would learn the truth about Leah.
It was as if you didn’t actually hold your part of the deal… all because your ego got hurt.
You shook your head, looked away, feeling your vision blur from the sting in your eyes.
“Yeah, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said anything to Nina.” You said finally, owning up to your mistake. “I just… I made a mistake. I got ahead of myself and when things didn’t go as planned. I blew up.”
You looked up to meet Leah’s gaze. “But you say you wish I treated you as a friend.” You said, voice soft. “But really, I wish you just treated this like what it was – a deal. I wish you never gave me flowers, introduced me to your friends as your girlfriend, taken me out on dates, show what kind of girlfriend I deserved… only to break my heart in the end and go flirt with some other girl while I'm still in the vicinity. You ended up just like Cassie."
Leah frowned, ready to say something but as she did, a car quickly pulled up to the front of the entrance, honking loud enough to startle even the staff inside the hotel lobby.
You sighed as you looked through the door, reminding yourself to thank Phoebe for pulling through one more time.
Phoebe opened her window and stuck her head out. “C’mon, babe. Get in.”
You nodded, sllipping your phone into your bag, avoiding Leah’s eyes. “It’s getting late. I can just go home from here.”
Leah’s jaw tightened. “Yeah, okay.” She gave a dry laugh, shaking her head. “So, you’re really just leaving me? You’re not even going to hear my side? Hear me explain myself? You’re just gonna take some stranger’s word over mine. Just like that.”
You ignored Leah, opening the passenger seat of Phoebe’s car. You turned at “I’m sorry I couldn’t pretend for longer than I should have.”
Leah froze at what you said, looking defeated. “That’s it?”
You turned to Leah one last time. Her face was unreadable… but her eyes, God, her eyes looked shattered.
You looked away saying one last thing before closing the door. “Goodbye, Leah.”
Phoebe proceeded to drive away, asking relentlessly about what had just happened, why you were begging her to pick you up and why you were suddenly cutting Leah off but all you could do at that moment was stay silent and stare at Leah through the sideview mirror.
Leah didn’t move. She just stood there, arms limp at her sides, watching you drive away. You could see the look in her eyes that just held so many things left unsaid, the pained expression in her face. You sighed, trying to look away but you couldn’t. You kept looking at her, watching as she slowly disappeared into the night, her reflection growing faint.
And when she finally disappeared from view, you exhaled the breath you had been holding and finally let yourself fall apart.
next part ⤷ | chapter index .☘︎ ݁˖ | masterlist ౨ৎ
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a/n: longer than i expected so a part 3 is necessary. sorry i wasnt able to proofread this at all! i just wanted to post it asap since i dont think i have time to actually proofread lol.
comments appreciated but i swear, i wont tolerate anymore rude comments bahahaha i am petty enough to withhold pt 3 if i get just ONE rude anon... just kidding... kinda. anyway, i hope this was at least worth the wait! i'll try to get part 3 up as soon as i can but again... i'm human, please don't send mean comments just because i cannot post pt 3 immediately. tag list will be in the comments because i hit the text-per-block limit! sorry if i forgot anyone! comment if u wanna be tagged for pt3
୨ৎ Summary: Steph and some friends come to support you on international duty, but jealousy gets the best of her watching the other team get handsy with you
୨ৎ WC: 1.4K
୨ৎ AN 1: this was requested without smut, but I may be inclined to write a part 2 with some smut… hence the cliffhanger 👀
୨ৎ AN 2: hands off… gabriella! katseye mentioned!
The stadium was bustling with fans when Steph and a few of her Aussie teammates found their seats. Australia had finished their national team duties against Wales a few days ago. With England playing in London, a few of the Aussies came to support their friends and teammates. Or, in Steph’s case, partners. You and Steph have been together for the past two years, and since you play for different national teams, you hardly get the chance to watch the other play in person.
The Lionesses were warming up when The Matildas sat down, and Steph’s eyes were immediately locked on you. A small smile made its way onto her lips as you joked around with Leah and Alessia. Feeling a familiar gaze, you looked up and found Steph along with a few of your other Arsenal teammates sitting near the England bench. You grinned when you met her eyes, waving slightly before turning back to the trainer.
A few minutes later, the teams made their way back to the locker rooms with kickoff coming up soon. After everyone was ready and Leah gave a short pre-game speech, you were lining up outside the locker rooms. England and Germany made their way onto the pitch with loud cheers echoing from all around the stadium.
You did your best to tune everything out, your focus solely on the next ninety minutes. From the stands, Steph wore a proud smile as she watched you huddle up with your teammates before taking the field.
“Steph and Y/N, sitting in a tree...,” Kyra mumbled next to hear, a teasing grin on her face.
Steph rolled her eyes, but a light blush lit up her cheeks. “Shut up,” she groaned as she sat back down.
When the referee blew her whistle, you were off. England quickly set the tempo for the game, easily winning the ball in the final third, but couldn’t quite get the shot off. Playing up front meant you had to deal with the defenders most of the game, and one of them in particular was already getting on Steph’s nerves.
Each time you had the ball, the same player was on you, pulling your shirt and bumping into you. Steph knew that was something defenders did, but this defender seemed to be doing it too much, in her opinion.
“What the hell was that?” Steph huffed when you were tackled right in front of where they were sitting
Next to her, Caitlin and Kyra laughed at her remark. “Something you’ve done before,” Caitlin teased.
Steph shot her a look before turning her attention to where you were lying on the ground. Steph’s annoyance quickly turned sour when the German defender offered you a hand to help you up, along with a wink once you were upright.
“Uh oh,” Kyra giggled. “Someone’s got competition,” she grinned.
Steph’s jaw was locked as she watched you laugh with the defender. ‘This was going to be a long game,’ she thought to herself when the game was underway. The rest of the half was more of the same; each time you had the ball, the same defender had her hands on you. There were plenty of moments where it was not necessary, and yet, it kept happening.
The Aussie was grateful when the ref blew her whistle for halftime. Part of her wanted to pull her phone out to text you, but she wasn’t sure what she would say, besides the fact that she knew you wouldn’t see it until after the game anyway. Instead, Steph spent the fifteen-minute break letting her jealousy and annoyance grow. Something Caitlin and Kyra didn’t leave unnoticed.
“Do you think that one player has a crush on Y/N?” Kyra asked, her ‘question’ directed toward Caitlin but loud enough for Steph to hear.
“It seems like it,” Caitlin joked, eyeing the defender beside Kyra.
Steph tried to keep her reaction neutral, but her jaw tensed at the thought. Before she could tell them to knock it off, both teams made their way back onto the field for the second half. The Aussie could only hope that a substitution was made, but her hopes were met unanswered when she eyed the German defender on the pitch.
The rest of the game was similar to the start, though with Steph’s present jealousy, it was even worse for her. There was a brief moment when it was gone after you scored the first goal of the game, but it came back just as quickly as it left. By the time the final whistle sounded, Steph was all but clenching her fists.
The cheers were loud as the Lionesses celebrated their win, but Steph drowned everything out as she watched you shake hands with the other team. It wasn’t until a familiar voice pulled her out of her head that she pulled her eyes away from you.
“Do you guys wanna come down here?” Leah shouted slightly from the pitch in front of them.
Steph hadn’t noticed when she walked over or that she had been talking to Caitlin and Kyra. The youngest of the trio answered for all of them as she nodded ‘yes’ and pushed both of them toward the gate that would let them onto the pitch. After a quick round of hugs, Steph’s eyes were still locked on you.
“What’s up with her?” Leah laughed as she followed Steph’s line of sight.
“Someone’s got a crush on Y/N,” Kyra hummed with a bright smile.
Leah laughed as she turned back around to face the group. Steph’s eyes were sharp and her jaw tight as she watched you pull your jersey over your head. She was practically glaring as she realized who you were swapping shirts with. A chorus of laughs echoed around her, but she paid them no mind.
You finally walked away from the German defender and quickly found your girlfriend and teammates near the sideline. You quickly made your way over to them, a bright grin on your face. “Hi, guys!” you beamed once you were closer. “Hi, baby,” you mumbled to Steph once you were by her side.
Your arms wrapped around her waist as you pulled her into a tight hug. Steph tried to let her feelings slip away now that she was in your arms, but the fact that you were wearing a Germany jersey instead of your England one made it hard. The trio of Arsenal players around you hid their snickers as you pulled away from your girlfriend.
“Good goal, Y/N/N,” Kyra grinned as she hugged you and shot Steph a teasing look.
“Thank you, thank you,” you faked a bow before quickly hugging Caitlin.
“Surprised you could get a shot off with how that defender wouldn’t let you go,” Caitlin joked.
“Eh,” you shrugged. “We’re friends, no harm. Besides, Steph does that all the time,” you grin as you wink at the defender next to you.
That earned you a few laughs from your teammates but not from Steph. Your brows furrowed as you finally realized the tense look she was wearing. “Are you okay, baby?” you ask, stepping closer to her.
“Mhmm,” she hummed witha forced smile.
Kyra giggled once more, but before anyone could say anything else, you and Leah were ushered back to the locker room. “I’ll see you later? Come by the hotel?” you shouted at Steph.
The defender gave you a nod before you disappeared down the tunnel. “Jealousy is a fun look on you, Steffy,” Kyra joked as they made their way back to their seats and then out of the stadium.
Your words kept playing in her head. The two of you were friends? You’ve never mentioned her. And the fact that you mentioned Steph doing the same, but when Steph does it, she’s flirting with you at training. The Aussie was spiraling the whole Uber to the hotel, her jealousy somehow still growing strong.
You had texted your hotel details the night before, when you talked about her coming to stay the night. Even though you were both heading home after this game, Steph still said yes, and right now, she’s glad that she did. She was thankful she was the only one in the elevator; it gave her the silence she needed before she made it to your room.
She knocked on your door after finding your room number. A moment later, you pulled the door open with a bright smile.
“Hi, bab-,” you started to say before you cut off. Steph’s lips met yours in a heated kiss as she backed you into your room and kicked the door closed with her foot.
