(c!technoblade x fem!reader) (?who knows at this point..)
(*SCREAMING UNTIL MY VOICE IS GONE* hahahaha i'm finally done with this devil forsaken chapter! I literally cannot articulate HOW hard this chapter was, for who knows what reason! I don't know why but this chapter was a struggle. like some trial a fucking greek god would give me to make me stronger or whatever. but.. I did it finally. PLEASE reblog and comment so I can feel like the pain I went through was worth it y'all šš„ŗšš)
āāāāā
Bored.
Thatās been his general state of things for about.. I donāt know, maybe 5 months? At least since heād finished taking part in that last pvp tournament on the championship battle server. But the battle season has finished and heās not found anything new to hold his attention.Ā
And Phil was busy working on a new build that's taken up his attention. And Techno would help but he knows Phil wants to do it himself, the man is so picky about his builds so Techno just leaves him be. Usually by now someone would have got in contact to hire him for his war faring services. Some kingdom or warring faction, looking for someone well versed in battle and strategy to help them turn the tides. But-
A yellow feather fluttering into his field of vision followed by the sound of flapping wings made the red eyed hybrid look up to see an incoming parrot holding a rolled up letter tied to its leg.
āWell, speak of the devil or whatever,ā Techno said in his usual monotone drawl as the parrot landed on his shoulder.
It held its leg out and he took the offered scroll before reaching into his inventory to grab some seeds to feed it. Then once it was happily munching away he unrolled the letter, wondering which server it could be from. Probably some new upstart one inhabited by a bunch of idiots with conflicting opinions who donāt realize they can just go separate directions and end it. That was usually how it went. People were all the same. They find out their opinions donāt match up, they bicker over it, they fight, someone invariably gets killed, they wage war, and then rinse and repeat.Ā
But as he read the letter he realized it wasnāt from just anybody. It was from Wilbur, Philzaās kid. Jeez, he hasnāt seen him in what feels like one hundred years.Ā
Huh, when was the last time heād seen the bespectacled boy? He actually canāt recall. He thinks back, far back, scouring his memory for instances with Wilbur. He remembers his round glasses, his warm yellow sweater, and his love for anything music. Techno recalls how Wilbur had always detested battle, fighting, anything like that. Hell, he hadnāt even liked wearing armor, even when it was for his own good. Which Techno thought was both foolish and endearing. He himself was always suited to battle, falling into it like how a bird takes to the skies. But heād always seen Wilbur as so far removed from being suitable for violence.Ā
All the younger man had ever said he wanted to do was sing, play music, and write. He truly had the heart of a poet, that was for sure. Getting him to learn some basic defense so he could travel to the nearby villages on his own without being a sitting duck had been similar to pulling teeth for Philza, his son always treating the lessons like a chore. But he and Phil had managed to teach him enough self defense so he could be safe out on his own, at least from the mobs. And once that was handled then Philza didnāt feel so worried leaving his boy home alone, meaning he and Techno could go traveling again.
And Wilbur hadnāt been bothered by this either, seeming to enjoy having some time to himself when his father and Techno were out. They always came home to Wilbur playing his guitar either outside in the yard, enjoying the sun, or inside by the fire to stay cozy. Heād been perfectly content.Ā
And then one day they came home and Wilbur hadnāt been alone like heād always been before. Heād had some kid with him, a little boy who actually bore a strong resemblance to Philza, what with his blond hair and blue eyes. That had been more than a shock, heāll admit. Walking in and seeing Wilbur with some random kid theyād never seen before, just sitting on the floor in front of the couch like it was no big deal.
Yeah, that had been Tommy, and according to Wilbur heād found him eating out of the trash in the village so heād brought him home. Of course. When Philza asked where Tommyās parents were, the kid had wrinkled his nose and said they were probably at home. That had turned into them grilling the kid, trying to figure out where their house was so Wilbur could return him.Ā
But Tommy had kicked up a huge fuss, shouting about how he left on his own and he was never going back. From how heād described it, his parents hadnāt been the best. Not even close actually, theyād sounded like shit to be honest. I mean if your toddler is willing to up and leave with zero intention of going back to you, like 100% willing to eat out of the trash instead of staying with you then yeah youāre probably a shit tier parent.
Wilbur had begged Philza to let Tommy stay with them. He had nowhere else to go and leaving him out on the street seemed messed up and he was so little, itās not like heād take up much space anyways. Yeah, Wilbur admitted the kid kinda ate a lot but no more than he guessed all kids ate⦠But they had a huge garden and some cows so it wasnāt a huge deal, right?Ā
Techno had been against it, theyād JUST started getting back to traveling again since Wilbur was old enough and capable enough to look after himself now. Heād argued that they didnāt need another little gremlin running around touching their stuff. Heād been eyeing the little blond boy as he stared openly at Technoās own enchanted sword that was strapped to his belt. Heād tucked it into his inventory to keep it away from the kid and his no doubt grimy little fingers.Ā
But Philza had always been such a sap when it came to Wilbur and his āsad boy eyesā. So heād ended up folding like a house of cards pretty quick, though heād warned Wilbur that the kid, Tommy, was his responsibility. Philza wasnāt going to start looking after him when heād not had any hand in taking him in. So Tommyās well being was now solely in Wilburās hands.Ā
Phil had actually been really serious at that part, asking Wilbur if he knew what he was getting into? Because Phil knew how hard it was to care for a child, it was exhausting and sometimes thankless, and you canāt just stop whenever you want because someone defenseless now relies on you.
Wilbur hadnāt been dissuaded though, and pulled the shorter boy close in a half hug, saying heād be the best big brother ever! Nevermind the child had started gnawing on the arm Wilbur had around him.. Techno couldnāt help but roll his eyes back then and even now as he remembered that promise. But Wilbur seemed happy at least, and neither Phil nor Techno would have to take care of the kid so it hadnāt been so bad. And later when they were alone Phil shared that he was actually glad that Wilbur wouldnāt be alone at home anymore. Heād felt bad leaving his boy all alone, even though he could defend himself.Ā
Techno assured him that Wilbur was a big boy now, practically an adult himself. So he didnāt need Phil worrying about him so much. Phil had laughed and said that was true but he couldnāt stop worrying, it was a parent thing. You never truly stop worrying about your kid. Techno figured that made sense but still told Phil that that was one of the reasons why he wasnāt having kids, too much stress. Technoās a busy guy, he canāt be losing sleep over some helpless nerds. That had gotten Phil to laugh, which had been Technoās goal. So, goal accomplished.Ā
Things had been good after that. At least thatās how Techno remembered them to be. Him and Phil would travel and explore to their heartās content, coming back to the house every now and again to take a break and check up on the brunet and blond. The kid grew like a weed, looking taller and taller with each visit. Him and Wilbur growing closer in height as well as their bond, soon acting like true brothers.Ā
Wilbur had been so happy, and Techno remembers the last time heād seen him. Him and Phil returned home for another short time between tournaments. Theyād walked up to the forest surrounded property theyād called home to see Wil lounging against the porch, guitar in hand with Tommy chasing around a bee, trying to catch it.
They looked so peaceful. And Techno thought thatād never change.
..But reading his letter now made Technoās stomach sink a bit.Ā
Wilbur was asking for his help. His professional help.. Looks like heād joined a server not too long ago and started his own nation; Lāmanberg. Technoblade couldnāt help but close his eyes in annoyance while pinching the bridge of his nose at hearing that. Nothing good ever came from governments, if heād said that once heās said it a million times. To the point where if he were a cartoon character from the 80ās then itād be his damn catchphrase. But people just keep making and joining governments, even Wilbur it seemed..Ā
And from the tone of the letter it looked like Wilbur was in big trouble.Ā
Techno scrubbed his hand down his face, his snout scrunching as he turned the letter over in his mind a few times before sighing and taking out his ender chest. With some mild annoyance he decided to help Wilbur out with his war. Better than sitting around being bored out of his mind at any rate. So he composed a letter back to the brunet, letting him know his services wouldnāt be cheap just because they knew each other, but heād gladly help him turn the tides. Once that letter was done he handed it over to the parrot, watching it fly off back to Wilbur.
Then on a whim he decided to compose another letter, this time to Phil, letting him know what his son was up to. But knowing the winged man, heād probably just find the whole thing amusing.Ā
āWell.. I better get packed while I wait for Wilburās reply,ā Techno said before heading back to his house.
-0-
You carried Azo in your arms as the four of you walked back to Lāmanburg from the nether portal. Internally you were still seething at Wilbur, you knew what heād done, to a child of all people. You knew Wilbur, deeper and more intimately than he would ever be comfortable with. But youād held out hope heād never sink so low as to harm a child.. Youād really clung to the sliver of hope, despite everything youād seen him do in the lore streams..
But now you knew with a sad certainty how low he was willing to go for what he wanted. And you wanted nothing more than to sink your teeth into his throat and rend his esophagus from its place in his neck before crushing his skull between your palms. Your jaws ached with the fervent desire to cause the vile bastard as much pain physically as heād caused you and your children mentally and emotionally.Ā
Though instead of succumbing to those feral desires you instead took a long measured breath in through your nose before letting it out through your mouth, just trying to calm your white hot rage since you needed to focus on the three kids you had with you and not the dead man walking over in fuckin Pogtopia~
You all got to your house and you mentally focused on how too small it was for your family now. Tommy and Tubbo already had their own rooms at your place despite each having their own homes elsewhere. You noticed they usually stayed here at night to sleep, which you were fine with. You preferred it actually, knowing they were safe in bed at night under your roof. But with Azo staying here full time youād need to make her her own bedroom.Ā
Planning that out calmed your rage thankfully. Turned the magma level heat into a soft manageable simmer. Looking down at the little piglin in your arms made you feel so much better. Things werenāt perfect, no, but youāre just so glad sheās okay. You almost lost her and the thought makes your heart feel like it was being tugged out of your chest. But sheās okay. Things are okay.Ā
You remind yourself of this as you carry your baby through the threshold of your, and now her, home. You breathe and stop at the kitchen, telling the three itās around lunch time and youād make them some food. Both boys cheered and sat at the table, while you sat Azo on your hip with one arm while using the other to grab some stuff out of the ice box you kept around to hold food for the two teens.Ā
Azo watched you pull things out with curiosity, not sure what any of them were. Which sent a pang of sadness through you because you know youāve let her try most of these before but she clearly didnāt remember it. Though you cheered yourself up with the knowledge that she could just try them all over again, rediscover her favorites and least favorites. You still remember the way her little snout had wrinkled up in distaste when sheād first tried a slice of lemon. That had been hilarious and youād wished you had some way to record it to keep the memory forever, but oh well.Ā
āMum, can you make us some of that fruit flower tea?ā Tubbo asked from his spot at the table.
You smiled and said sure, and reached into the cabinet for the jar of tea youād made for them not too long ago. You figured a warm meal and warm tea would be better for Azo right now since introducing her to cold stuff in the Overworld, which was already colder than the Nether, would be too much too soon. You noticed with a frown that she already seemed to be chilly. So while the tea was steeping you went over to the couch and grabbed the wool throw off the back and wrapped it snugly around her shoulders. She snorted happily at the sudden barrier from the chill this new world seemed to have.
āWeāre gonna have to get you some new clothes, kiddo. Some that keep you warmer than your current ones do,ā You said as you went to put some meat skewers onto the smoker and some potatoes in the furnace to bake.
You hummed and swayed your hips back and forth slowly as you watched the food cook. Then the tea was ready and you took Azo to the table and pulled a couple books from your inventory before sitting them on the chair, then you set her on top of them so she could reach the tabletop. She snuggled into the blanket around her while you went to fix the tea.
After giving each kid a cup you finished up the food and sat with them so they could eat. You idly listened as Tubbo and Tommy both talked to Azo, telling her all about Lāmanberg and their friends, and how they were going to show her around soon maybe.
You just let yourself zone out, taking comfort in your kids all being safe in one place right now.
-0-
Quackity had thought over what he and Reader had discussed the day they started rebuilding the White House. She said he had to make a decision since Schlatt had basically bailed on Lāmanberg. And sheād also said heād deserved better than how Schlatt treated him. Heād honestly not wanted to think about that. Because thinking about her words made him throw his entire relationship into question. Did he deserve better than Schlatt? He wasnāt sure how to answer that. If he did then why did he deserve better?Ā
He didnāt want to start dumping on Schlatt, because theyād honestly had so many good times together. Great ones. Theyād vibed so well while dating, Quackity canāt count how many times the ram had made him laugh his ass off. Just them two hanging out, sharing some drinks, spending nights out on the town in other SMPs, it was some of the best times of Quackityās life. Even now, thinking about those times brought a smile (and soft flush) to the duck hybrids face. I mean Schlatt was charismatic, funny, and knew how to make his knees feel like jelly. Plus he had a few other good qualities he didnāt want to focus on too much in public..
But his smile faded away as those sweet memories made way for the not so sweet ones. Things had been great, yeah, but only when Schlatt wasnāt in a bad mood. Now that Quackity actually thinks about it there was always the worry of Schlattās good mood evaporating looming over their relationship. If he wasnāt happy then his bad mood sucked the good atmosphere right out of the room. It could be suffocating. The first few times it happened heād try to give the ram hybrid some space, figuring heād get over it. But that usually led to arguments, Schlatt asking if Quackity planned to leave any time things werenāt going perfect. Thatād made him feel like shit, so heād started doing all he could to keep the good vibes going.
Quackity isnāt sure when heād gotten used to it but soon things fell into a rhythm of things being super great and awesome followed by something pissing on Schlattās good mood, then him being an asshole, Quackity doing everything he could think of to cheer him up, and then everything repeating in that cycle. It could feel exhausting at times but he just supposed that was just how relationships were supposed to be. But after what Reader said.. he was starting to question if that was right or not. Heād been so conflicted that heād broken down and asked Karl for advice for a āfriend of hisā who was having relationship issues.
Heād lied and said it was for a girl he was friends with on another server who was having issues with her girlfriend. Karl had listened to his edited version of events and told Quackity his friend was in a not very good relationship and she should break up with her girlfriend before things got even worse. That had just made his stomach sink further but he played it cool and thanked Karl for hearing him out, and heād talk to his friend later and tell her what he thought she should do. Karl gave him a sweet smile and wrapped his arm around the dark haired male in a side hug before replying,
āDonāt worry, man. Thatās what friends are for. Tell your friend if she needs any help leaving then she can come to us, weāll help her out of there no problem.ā
Quackity couldnāt help the smile hearing this gave him and said heād let her know.
Thatād been hours before and he knew he needed to message Reader and tell her where he stood. It wasnāt good to leave things ambiguous with her, not regarding his allegiance to Lāmanberg.. Sheād messaged him earlier that morning, asking if he was doing alright. He hadnāt replied, wanting to talk to someone else about what he was thinking first. But he knew he couldnāt leave her on read for much longer.Ā
But just as he was getting ready to open his communicator.. it chimed.
He sighed, thinking it was Reader. But when he checked it his throat closed up.
āSchlatt whispers to you: can we talk?ā
Quackity gulped, trying to dislodge the lump in his throat as he read and reread the message at least 7 times. Curses ran through his head as he sat up on his couch, still staring down at the device on his wrist. He tore his eyes away, harshly scrubbing his hand down his face, just trying to calm his racing heart as he tried to focus on one thought at a time. Okay, okay, okay- he needed to relax, just- He jumped when his communicator chimed again. And when he looked back down at it anxiously he paused..
āSchlatt whispers to you: please babe, come on
āSchlatt whispers to you: i miss you
The duck hybrid stared down at the screen hard, biting his lip enough to draw a drop of blood as he did. Then with shaky hands he started forming a replyā¦
Have you ever read The Azoetia? If so, may I ask what your overall thoughts on it are? Did you find it to be informative and useful? Were the things you think it could've done without? I'm very curious as I'm thinking of reading it myself, so I'd love to hear your opinion. š§”
I've read the Azoetia fully twice, and I am currently leading a private Azoetia book club. My overall thoughts on it are that Chumbley set out on the impossible task of articulating a complete view of magic and the mysteries of intiation, and he got far closer to that goal than I've seen anyone else get.
It's dense, the densest book I might ever read. Last night, my book club spent about an hour and a half discussing the first 3 pages, and we did not finish them. As Chumbley says in the original preface, "This Book is a Grammar of High Sorcerery; it is not to be read or interpreted in any single and straightforward manner, but rather to be contemplated and seen as a many-sided jewel, reflecting and refracting the light of a solitary star."
Despite this, I don't think you need to "understand" the Azoƫtia for it to be useful to you. One of the things I find most inspiring about the text is its call to action. It asks the reader not to be a passive armchair occultist but an active sorceror. It directs you to go and perform he rites as best you are able. To go and discover your own reifications of the Sigil of Magick, to use the structure encoded into this text to realize a magical practice unique to you and your own Crooked Path.
For me, the Azoƫtia is a text I return to cyclically. As my knowledge and experience expand, I unlock new meaning from the grimoire. Each time I return, it offers me many pathways to continue growing down. In the long term, the goal I seek from working with the Azoƫtia is to master the 3 rites(Ingress, Congressus, and Egress) and then to create my own system of sorcery. I have no reason to doubt the grimoire as a faithful companion along that path.