Prompt: Part 2 of the story based on the song Straight Through My Heart for @thefanficfaerie‘s Backstreet Boys Challenge. You can find Part One here
Author’s Note: Shout-out to @madpanda75 who listened to me moan about my writer’s block and then somehow resisted the urge to smack me when I started complaining about the stuff I did write. You’re the best
Since leaving Rafael on the courthouse steps, your conversation with him played in your mind on an endless loop. It consumed your thoughts, worming its way into the places normally reserved for 90s boy band lyrics. The night passed frustratingly slow with sleep eluding you, leaving your mind free to ruminate over what had been said and, perhaps more importantly, not said. The various tricks you tried to fall asleep were useless -no amount of imaginary sheep, warm milk, or calming whale sounds could quiet your mind. You eventually resigned yourself to your fate, letting your thoughts wander down a rabbit hole until the first light of dawn shone through your curtains. Instead of insight, the only thing you managed to gain were dark circles under your eyes.
As you made your way to One Hogan Place, you were surprised no one mistook you for a member of the walking dead. Yawning, you unlocked your office door and stared longingly at your couch. With back-to-back court sessions today, you would barely have enough time to eat, let alone take a nap. The silver lining, at least, was that being in court all day provided the perfect excuse to avoid Rafael. The last thing you wanted was to run into him and be forced to awkwardly tiptoe around last night’s conversation.
But if there was one thing you should have known by now it’s that you don’t always get what you want.
Reluctantly detaching your gaze from your couch, you found Rafael in your doorway. Standing there, in a freshly pressed suit with bright eyes and perfectly styled hair, he smiled at you. The small part of you that wondered whether Rafael’s thoughts had also been consumed by yesterday now had an answer: he didn’t look like he had lost any sleep. In fact, you were almost annoyed at how well-rested he looked. Before you could tell him that this wasn’t a good time, you noticed the extra cup of coffee in his hands.
“Good morning,” he greeted cheerfully, stepping into your office and offering you one of the mugs.
You eyed him suspiciously. Rafael was not a morning person and definitely not someone who shared coffee. However, your desperate need for caffeine outweighed any reservations you had about his cheerful demeanour.
“Morning,” you replied warily, accepting the mug.
Just as you were about to take a large swig of coffee, the faint smell of cinnamon wafted up from your cup, momentarily stunning you. You always put a dash of cinnamon in your coffee, but never thought Rafael would have noticed your little habit.
“I didn’t poison it,” Rafael remarked, mistaking your surprise for hesitation.
“It would be too easy to trace back to you if you did and, frankly, I expect a more elaborate plan from you,” you retorted.
“Unless I used a poison the ME wouldn’t think to look for. Nightshade, for instance,” Rafael casually said before taking a drink from his mug.
“I hope you know that because of a seminar and not because you moonlight as an assassin to fund your expensive taste in suits.”
Rafael shrugged, a small smile forming on his lips. “I guess you’ll soon find out.”
You stared at him for a beat longer before taking a sip of coffee. A happy sigh escaped your lips as the hot liquid hit your tongue. Whatever your feelings about Rafael Barba that man knew good coffee.
Rafael’s heart fluttered when he heard your contented sigh. He experienced a similar feeling last night when you admitted you didn’t hate him. Rafael suspected you weren’t telling him the whole truth, but the only thing he could focus on was that you didn’t despise him. Your admission ignited a spark of hope in him. Standing on the steps, long after your retreating figure had disappeared, Rafael began to fan that spark. Accidentally stealing your coffee was fixable. In fact, it had a very simple solution. And so, alone on the steps, Rafael made a silent promise to whatever deity was listening that he would bring you coffee every day if it could fix the damage he had inadvertently caused.
And if this plan gave him an excuse to see you every morning, well, then all the better.
“I feel fine…for now. Thanks for the coffee,” you told him while attempting to stifle a yawn.
“Seems like you needed the extra hit of caffeine today,” Rafael commented as he made himself comfortable on your couch.
“Just stayed up late working,” you replied vaguely, tracing the rim of your mug with your index finger.
You narrowed your eyes at Rafael as he rested his feet on your coffee table.
Rafael’s brow furrowed as he noticed the dark circles under your eyes. “Did you sleep at all?”
“Unlike you, Barba, some people don’t need beauty sleep because they’re already beautiful,” you responded, leaning against the front of your desk.
“Too bad you’re not one of those people,” he smirked. “I thought Manhattan was in the middle of a zombie outbreak.”
“Well, the joke’s on you because if we were in the midst of a zombie epidemic, I’d successfully blend in with the zombies and survive. You, on the other hand, with your colourful tie and socks,” you paused, gesturing to the turquoise tie and matching socks he was wearing. “Would be one of the first to get eaten.”
Rafael tilted his head in mock thoughtfulness. “Hm, well, I am a snack.”
“Ah, that must be why you’re so salty.”
“But you admit that I’m a snack?” Rafael raised an eyebrow.
You rolled your eyes. “You’re an acquired taste, that’s for sure,” you muttered.
It didn’t escape Rafael’s notice that you didn’t deny it, and he felt the spark of hope grow a little stronger.
“Anyway,” you continued, moving behind your desk. “Some of us actually have work to do.”
“You’re right. I do have work to do,” Rafael grinned, getting up from your couch.
You frowned in annoyance, amazed that someone could get under your skin as much as Rafael Barba.
He was almost out the door when you called to him.
“Oh, and Barba? I may be sleep-deprived, but I still noticed the mug you gave me.” You met his eyes for a brief second, gracing him with a small smile, before turning your attention back to a file. The mug in question, Rafael’s old Harvard mug, was already half empty and sitting atop one of the giant stacks of paperwork covering your desk.
Rafael laughed, confirming your suspicion that it wasn’t a coincidence. What you didn’t know, however, was that he had brought the mug from home especially for you in the hope that it would make you smile.
With your attention focused back on witness testimonies and police reports, Rafael took the opportunity to steal one last glance at you before he left.
The rest of Rafael’s day passed uneventfully; his hours were spent in a monotonous blur of drafting motions, reading testimonies, and dull meetings. Despite the minor frustrations he encountered throughout the day, a smile lingered on his lips.
Arriving back at One Hogan Place after a late meeting with the squad, Rafael was disappointed to discover that your office was dark. No doubt you were at home catching up on some much-needed sleep. As he walked to his office, his thoughts wandered to you in bed and what it would be like to be there with you. He could picture you wrapped in his arms and wearing one of his shirts. Outside the door to his office, Rafael shook his head to cast off the fantasy.
However, his thoughts quickly made their way back to you when he saw his Harvard mug sitting in the middle of his desk. You had washed the mug and placed a bright blue sticky note on it.
Thanks for not poisoning me
Rafael noticed a second note peeking out from underneath the first.
This time at least
He laughed quietly to himself, slipping the two notes into his briefcase, before heading back to his empty apartment.
Summary- Tony Stark’s annual masquerade ball is the biggest party of the year, getting an invitation to the ball is harder than getting into the MET gala. So how did you get your hands on one? Well it helps to have a meddling best friend.
Message- This is for @thefanficfaerie‘s backstreetsbackchallenge!! Want a part 2? Here’s information about Ko-fi bribes!
Word Count- 1547
“I’m not going.” You say, tossing the invitation back at Nat.
“Yes you are.” Natasha says as she grabs it out of the air.
“You can’t make me go!” You sneer, glaring at your best friend.
“You’re coming. You were invited, it would be rude not to go.” Natasha says, folding her arms over her chest.
“No.” You say, shaking your head. “You were invited, my names just written in on your plus one line.”
“Same thing.” Natasha says, shrugging.
“That’s your world, Nat. Not mine.” You sigh. “I’m not like you, I’m just a scientist that works for SHIELD.”
“That’s dumb, you’re dumb.” Natasha says, rolling her eyes.
“I’m a genius.” You say.
“You’re my best friend Y/N.” Natasha murmurs, putting her hand on your shoulder. “That makes it your world too.”
“I don’t have anything fancy enough to-.”
“I’ll take care of all of that.” Natasha says, smiling. “All you have to do is agree to go.”
“Fine.” You groan. “I’ll go to the rich people party.”
“You’ll have fun, I promise.” Nat says.
“Why are you really pushing this?” You ask, eyes narrowing. “You’ve never pushed me to meet your Avenger friends before!”
“So there’s this guy…” Natasha starts.
“No!” You yell. “You promised, no more set ups!”
“But-.”
“Do you remember Budapest?” You ask.
“That wasn’t my fault-.”
“It took 3 months for Clint’s eyebrows to grow back.” You say.
“Fine, I won’t set you up.” Natasha sighs. “But you’re still coming!”
“Fine.” You sigh.
“Stop acting like you’re not excited!” Natasha says. “You used to love dancing and parties.”
“I hate that you know me so well.” You grumble as you walk away from Natasha.
“That’s what best friends are for!” Natasha calls and you flip her off over your shoulder. “Love you too!”
**2 months later**
“I look ridiculous.” You sigh, fiddling with the large white sleeves of the ball gown that Nat had put you in.
“You look hot as fuck.” Nat says.
“I look like a cloud.”
“A hot cloud.” Clint mumbles.
“Shut up!” You laugh.
“Here’s your mask.” Natasha says.
“It’s very sparkly.” You murmur, running your fingers over the small crystals that make up your mask.
“Let me help.” Natasha fusses as you move to put the mask on. “There now you’re perfect!”
“Where are your masks?” You ask.
“Right here.” Clint says, opening the box that was next to him on the couch. When the lid comes of you see two golden masks.
“They’re beautiful.” You murmur, watching as Natasha takes her mask out of the box.
“Help me?” Natasha asks, holding out her mask.
“Sure.” You mumble, taking the mask. After helping Nat with her mask, she helps Clint with his.
“Ready?” Natasha asks, looking at you.
“As ready as I’ll ever be.” You say, grinning a bit.
“Relax, Y/N, You’ll have loads of fun!” Clint says, throwing his arm over your shoulder. “Maybe we can convince Thor to give you some of his special mead.”
“You’re the one who insisted on getting ready at my place.” You say, rolling your eyes.
“That’s because she wants to make a dramatic entrance.” Clint says, as he saunters out the door.
“Liar!” Natasha yells, but she’s blushing slightly, so you know Clint’s telling the truth.
****
“Holy shit!” You gasp, looking around the large room. It was filled with chandeliers, mirrors and smoke.
“Stark really knows how to set a mood.” Clint says, walking past you. “Hey, why is Steve wearing his old Captain America costume? It looks like the one from back when he was a soldier.”
“No idea.” Natasha says, shrugging. “But if I had to guess, he probably heard the word mask and assumed he was supposed to be in uniform.”
“Sounds about right.” Clint snorts. “Who’s our favorite star spangled man talking to anyway? I don’t recognize her.”
“That’s Miss America.” You say.
“How can you tell?” Clint asks. “You can’t even see her face.”
“She’s wearing the sash, idiot.” You say, rolling your eyes.
“Hey, no need to be mean.” Clint huffs.
“Yeah, that’s my job.” Nat says, bumping her hip with yours. “Clint and I have to make our rounds, will you be okay here by yourself for a bit?”
“Yeah” You say nodding. “Go be important, I’ll be fine on my own for a while.”
“We’ll be back soon.” Clint says, as Natasha drags him off.
****
It only took about ten minutes for you to make your way to the corner of the room. Happily observing people, while you waited for your two best friends.
“You don’t look like you’re having a lot of fun.” A voice to your right says.
“Oh?” You ask, looking at the man who was talking to you. His whole face was covered by a mask.
“I noticed you from across the room. You look lonely.”
“We’ll I’m not lonely anymore.” You murmur. “I have you.”
“Funny.” The man says. “What’s your name? I don’t recognize you.”
“Now where’s the fun in giving you my name?” You ask. “Isn’t that the point of tonight? Everyone gets to be mysterious? We can be whoever we want?”
“I like that.” That man says, you can hear the smile in his voice. “Would you like to dance?”
“Ok.” You say, talking the man’s hand. He leads you out onto the dance floor and puts his hand on your hip, before starting to sway the two of you gently to the beat of the music.
“So you wanna play in a game of disguise?” The man asks.
“Of course I do.” You murmur. “We can be whoever we want, just for tonight.”
“It’s like a perfect dream.” The man murmurs.
“What does that even mean?” You giggle.
“I don’t really know.” The man whispers. “So what should I call you? If I can’t know your name?”
“You can call me yours.” You say and the man starts to laugh.
“Very smooth.” The man says.
“I thought so!” You say, smiling.
“The songs almost over.” The man says.
“So?” You say. “That doesn’t mean we have to stop dancing.”
“So you’ll stay and dance with me?”
“I’ll stay through the night to dance with you.” You murmur.
“So cheesy!” The man laughs. “I love it!”
“Thank you.” You say, grinning up at the man.
****
The two of you dance for a couple hours, talking about anything and everything.
“Come on.” The man says, suddenly.
“Where are we going?” You ask, following quickly behind him.
“To be alone.” He says as he leads you onto the elevator. Then he presses a button and the door’s start to close.
“I don’t think we’re allowed off of that floor.” You say.
“It’s fine.” The man says, giving your hand a comforting squeeze.
“If you say so.” You say as the elevator doors open. “Holy shit, is this Tony Starks lab?”
“Yeah.”
“We really shouldn’t be here.” You murmur.
“I-I know you said that you wanted to pretend and be someone else-but- I-I just know that I would kick myself later if- can we please- I gotta know the woman behind this mask.” He stammers.
“A-Alright.” You murmur, as you move to untie the ribbon holding your mask in place. “I’m Y/N, I came here with my friends Natasha and Clint they’re-.”
“Avengers.” The man interrupts. “I know.”
“So now that you know who I am, are you going to show your face to me?” You ask, after a beat of silence.
“Right-yeah-of course.” The man says, as he stumbles to take his mask off. “Tony Stark, nice to officially meet you.” He adds as he extends his hand out to you.
“Holy shit.” You murmur, putting your hand in his.
“I’d understand- if you wanted to leave.”
“Why would I want to do that?” You ask.
“I’m-well- I’m me.” Tony says.
“And I’m me.” You murmur.
“This feels like the-.” Tony starts.
“Start of something great.” You whisper, finishing Tony’s thought.
“Yeah.” Tony says, leaning down until his lips are inches away from yours. “Will you stay?”
“The night?” You ask.
“For forever?” He asks. Instead of answering you move your head up and kiss him.
“Is that a yes?” Tony asks when the two of you break apart.
“That’s a yes.” You murmur, pulling Tony in for another kiss.
**Nat’s POV**
“I am the best matchmaker.” Natasha says, as she looks down onto you and Tony from her hiding place in the vents.
“Let’s go, this is getting creepy.” Clint whispers, as he starts to crawl back to where the party was being held.
“Come on, just say it.” Natasha says. “I need the validation.”
“Is Tony and Y/N sucking face not all the validation you need?” Clint asks.
“No.” Nat says. “That part was actually a bit gross.”
“Yeah, it was.” Clint says, nodding in agreement.
“Clint.” Natasha says, arching her eyebrow.
“Fine, you are the best matchmaker ever.” Clint says.
“Damn right I am.” Nat murmur, as she jumps out of the vents.
“What are you two doing?” Steve asks.
“You will be my next project.” Natasha says to Steve before walking away.
“Do I even want to know?” Steve asks.
“Honestly, it’s probably better you didn’t.” Clint says.
A/N: This was written for @thefanficfaerie‘s Backstreet’s Back Challenge and had a very hard time going through her list to pick which song I wanted because I love practically everything the Boys have put out but eventually went with this song because I need more happy Tony in my life.
Your smile.
That was all it took for Tony Stark to fall head over heels for you. There was just something about it that made him gravitate towards you and a relationship.
Within several months of coffee shop dates, spending date nights in with takeout and Netflix and sometimes going out to the movies, you and Tony had officially become a couple. And it didn’t take long for you to become part of the team as a new member of the “family”.
It also didn’t take you long to see how dedicated Tony was to his work. Spending most nights in his lab till the early morning hours and coming to finally sleep with you was the highlight of your mornings but you still wished that he would go to bed at a decent hour so the two of you could spend time together.
Still, you knew that he was doing all of this for the team and having any kind of relationship came second and there was nothing you could do to fix that. He was part of the Avengers after all.
The one night you woke up to find his side of the bed empty like usual. Turning over, you tried falling back asleep but had a hard time so you got up and wandered over to Tony’s lab. Seeing him hard at work on another piece of tech for someone, you gently knocked on the door and smiled. Tony turned around and upon seeing your smile, he couldn’t help but smile himself and sweep you up in a big hug making you giggle.
Putting you down, he wrapped his arms around your waist and you wrapped yours around his neck, gently running your fingers through the hair on the nape of his neck. He placed a soft kiss on your lips which made you push harder into it, deepening it. The two of you shared a passionate kiss until you needed to break to breathe.
“What are you doing up?” he asked.
“Shouldn’t it be obvious? I couldn’t sleep because you aren’t there next to me where you should be.”
Tony turned around and focused on the tech. “You know I gotta keep working on this, hun.”
“I know,” you huffed and hugged him from behind, placing your chin on his shoulder then leaned your head on his. “But can’t you just stop for a bit?”
Still focused on his work, he shook his head. You dared to then flash a smile while placing a kiss on Tony’s cheek and that was it. Tony completely fell apart. Putting his tools down, he picked you up and carried you back to the bedroom for some quality alone time that was very much needed.
Yep, there was no fighting or denying it. Tony was completely helpless when you smiled. There was nothing that he wouldn’t do for you as long as that smile appeared and you knew it. But that didn’t mean you would ever take advantage of it because that wasn’t you.
Other times the smile would appear when Tony was having one of those days where nothing was going right at all and all the frustrations and anger would just come out. You’d come when no one else could calm him down and take him by the hands, pulling him close to you and placing a hand on his cheek, having a soft smile appear on your lips. Tony’s walls of frustrations weakened immediately upon seeing your smile which made him call down and wrap you in a tight embrace.
“It’s ok sweetie,” you’d gently say as you slowly ran your fingers through his soft brown hair.
These were the times that he’d also start crying a bit, showing his vulnerable side that he hid so very well from everyone, mostly due to the stress and frustrations that were constantly plaguing his mind.
Everyone knew that you were Tony’s weakness and that he was pretty much yours. There was nothing that the two of you wouldn’t do for each other and it definitely showed. And it showed even more when he finally asked you to marry him.
And when the two of you shared your first dance as a married couple, you had the DJ play the one song that you knew described your relationship perfectly, “Helpless When She Smiles” by the Backstreet Boys.
Fandom: Star Trek
Pairings/characters: Jim Kirk x reader (but not really)
Words: 2351
Warnings: Disapproving parents, mention of bullying
Summary:
Three scenes from Jim and his significant other's lives, showing their progress from friends to marriage.
Note:
For @thefanficfaerie‘s Backstreet's Back challenge. Sorry this is so late! Moving is exhausting... I had the song "What Makes You Different". I wanted to do so much more with this, but lack of time and energy and living in boxes came in the way.
When I look at you, I see something rare
A rose that can grow anywhere
And there's no one I know that can compare
She had been in his Warp Theory, Basic Warp Design and Astrophysics classes at the Academy. Jim hadn't paid much attention to her at first. To him, she was just the same as what the rest of their classmates saw her as, the mining-spawn that didn't belong in Starfleet.
She had come from basically nothing. Her parents were third generation miners on a struggling moon that had been colonized right before the Federation was founded. She had been expected to join her two brothers in the family mining business – brothers who had too big ambitions about how to make the business flourish, but she had always looked to the stars.
Only when they had been paired together for a project in Astrophysics towards the end of the first semester, did Jim's eyes open up to her. Her determination to do well, and how well she actually did. How she was able to turn a deaf ear to their classmates' whispered remarks or a blind eye to the eye-rolling whenever she gave solid answers to their teachers. How effortlessly smart she seemed to be. Something about it felt familiar to Jim and they made fast friends, and towards the end of the first year of the Academy, she was one of his closest friends.
After celebrating yet another aced end-of-year exam, Jim came back from a bar in the city centre, a bit unsteady on his feet from one too many Andorian ales and found her lying across a bench near campus, arms behind her head, staring up at the sky.
"What're you lying here for?" he asked, stumbling over and leaning across the back of the bench.
She hadn't even turned to look at him, but just nodded gently upwards.
He looked up at the dark sky, littered with stars and the occasional blinking light from a shuttlecraft on the way to one of the many space docks up there.
"Beautiful, isn't it?" she asked, a small smile on her lips.
Finding it hard to stand there and look up in his state, Jim sauntered around and unceremoniously lifted her legs and plopped down on the bench, letting her rest her legs in his lap.
"It is," he replied. "But why're you lying here in the middle of the night staring at it?"
"It's the reason why I'm here," she said simply. "I just got so tired of studying for the exams and feeling like I'm constantly walking uphill, I needed to get out here and be reminded of why I'm here. I used to spend countless nights sneaking up to our roof at home and just stare at the stars. Have I ever told you about that?"
"Don't think you have..."
She went quiet for a bit, still gazing upwards. "My parents always said I was a dreamer who had her head stuck in the clouds," she said finally, quietly. Jim looked away from the diamond studded black canvas and down to her face, barely lit by a nearby streetlamp. "That's why I started sneaking up on the roof at night. Didn't want to sit on the porch or in the garden anymore. They said I had to keep my feet on the ground. Stop wasting my time in the clouds and join my brothers with the mining. But I never wanted to be stuck underground, in the dark. I wanted to go up, into the light."
"Space is dark," Jim then said, humour in his voice. "There's no light up there."
"It's light to me. Stars, suns, planets, all emitting light." She got quiet again.
Jim rested his hands on her legs. His thumbs moved absentmindedly over her smooth skin until she spoke again.
"I studied on my own. And then I ran away and took the entrance exam. My parents were not happy, to put it mildly. But I longed for the stars. I can't remember a time when I didn't long for them."
Jim hummed. "I think I've longed for them too."
She looked at him. "But it still took being beaten senseless and a dare from a Starfleet Captain to make you sign up."
"Gotta play hard to get." He flicked the skin on her ankle, right above her well-worn flats.
"Hard to get aren't exactly words I would use to describe you, Jim Kirk." She lifted a leg as if she was about to kick his face.
Jim chuckled, but then they fell silent again, looking back up at the night sky. Jim felt like he sobered up as his admiration for her grew.
And when they graduated a few years later, after the destruction of Vulcan, when he watched her from the crowd as she gave her speech as the top of her Engineering class, he felt so proud. Knowing where she came from, knowing how most of their classmates had ridiculed her and talked behind her back and said that "mining-spawn had nothing to do in Starfleet", and yet she had surpassed them in almost every class and had earned the right to speak for her division at the graduation.
He never told her though, how proud he was. Not until many years later.
You don't know how you touched my life
Oh in so many ways I just can't describe
You taught me what love is supposed to be
From the second Jim landed on Altamid in his escape pod, he worried for his crew. He was thankful Chekov was with him, that was one crew member accounted for. But the rest... He had seen so many pods being captured by swarm ships as he fell towards the atmosphere and it had given him a sick feeling in his gut.
How many were dead? How many had made it to the surface? What had they met there? More danger?
He tried not to let his worry cloud his judgement as he, Chekov and Kalara made their way back to Enterprise's saucer section. As he exposed Kalara's true intentions. As he and Chekov blew up the saucer to save themselves. As they found Scotty and Jaylah and made plans to rescue the others.
Thinking back on it all, it was all a blur to Jim. Finding out about the Franklin and Edison and what he had planned. The whole rescue operation was just blank, with the occasional flash of memory here and there. Grabbing Jaylah's hand in the air and being beamed back, the moment when the first swarm ships exploded, and Edison being ejected into space. Those three memories stood clear in his mind. Not even the aftermath – the medical check-up and the reports and the counsellor session he was required to have, all of it seems like a blur when he thinks back years later.
But like a bad classical movie, the blurry out of control world seemed to clear up and right itself the moment he laid his eyes on her at the birthday party Bones had arranged for him. He hadn't seen her during the rescue mission but trusted that she had been beamed onto the Franklin if she was alive. He had enquired about her after everything was said and done, but there hadn't been time to find her. It was a relief though, to see her safe and sound, albeit a bit tired and with a small bruise on her jaw. They had just started exploring the possibilities of a romantic relationship, and he was glad he still had the chance to pursue it.
She met his eyes and the classical movie-clichés continued, as his heart skipped several beats and he felt his face flush. He only hoped Bones didn't notice because the good doctor would think he was getting sick and would start pressing that wretched tricorder to his face again.
Jim flashed her a quick smile, regretting that he was stuck in a conversation with Spock and not able to go talk to her. But when she smiled back and raised her glass in a greeting, he turned to Spock.
"I'm sorry, Spock. But we have to continue this conversation later, there's someone I have to see." And without even waiting for an answer, Jim rushed through the crowd to where she leant on a table near the windows at the back of the room.
"Hi," she said. "Glad to see you're okay."
"You too," Jim said, feeling a bit breathless. The relief of seeing her alive and well was greater than he realised. "I've heard great things about how you held your own against Krall's men."
She flushed in embarrassment. "I'm sure it's all lies."
"I doubt it. And Scotty says that you averted a crisis on the Franklin, while we were falling to the ground."
"Oh, it was nothing. He could have handled it."
"No, he said he wouldn't have seen it. And if you hadn't redirected the power, Sulu would have never been able to take off."
Silence fell between them. Then she raised her glass to her lips, a playful expression crossed her face. "You come here just to embarrass me with praise?"
"No. I'm just proud of you. But... Can we talk later?" Jim asked quietly, staring into her eyes, watching them go from crinkly and smiley to worried at his question. "It's nothing to worry about," he hurried to add. "Nothing bad, I hope. I just... need to talk. About us."
"Okay, yes, we can talk." Her smile came back. "By the fountain out in the centre square? Or somewhere more private?"
"The fountain is okay. And then we'll see how it goes." Jim winked and was pleased to see her face flush again and her eyes blink rapidly for a moment.
Then she nodded with a small smile, recovering quickly. "Happy birthday, Jim," she said, laid her hand on his arm and leaned in to kiss him quickly on the cheek. And before he knew it, she was gone.
Love you give shines right through me
Everything you do is beautiful
Oh, you're beautiful to me
The room was packed with colourful and exotic costumes and dresses. Tables along walls with bright and flavourful food from most of the different members of the Federation. Flowers one could never find on Earth were set up in tasteful centrepieces on all the round tables, each one high and grand enough to strike awe, but each one restrained so as to not block the view of the other guests around the table. It all brightened up an otherwise bland ballroom on New Vulcan.
Jim had to admit it was strange seeing all this materialistic beauty, and frankly, a little bit of gluttony, on New Vulcan. But the Federation felt it was politically necessary to have this banquet there to show off how far the Vulcans had come in the years since Nero destroyed their planet. And it showed how adaptable they were, without losing themselves.
Movement at the table Jim had just left in order to get a plate of fruit caught his eye. In a dress in a shimmering colour that reminded him of the oceans on Risa at night, his wife grabbed Uhura's hand and pulled the communications officer up and to the dance floor.
Wow, wife. It felt too strange. They'd only been married for a month, and Jim was still getting used to the thought of being a husband, being tied down to one person for the rest of his life. He had never thought he'd get to that point, but he was happy he had. And thinking back, he should have known it would happen since the day he was paired with her for that project in Astrophysics at the Academy.
Jim watched his wife dance with Uhura, hypnotized by the way she moved. And he realised he hadn't yet danced with her that evening. So, he set the plate of fruit down and navigated between the other dancers and tapped Uhura on the shoulder, his eyes on his wife.
"May I cut in?"
Uhura glanced between the two, a small smile on her lips. "She's all yours, Captain. It's about time I get Spock onto the dancefloor anyway."
"Hello, husband," she greeted as he took her hand in one of his and laid the other low on her back. "I never get tired of saying that."
"And I never get tired of hearing you say that, wife." He dived quickly in for a quick kiss. "Enjoying yourself?"
"Meh, these events are so dull. It's much better now though." She winked.
They danced in silence, eyes only on eachother. As far as they were concerned, there was no one else there.
How far they'd come, Jim thought. She, from a cadet from a mining-colony to Commander-rank and Scotty's Assistant Chief Engineer. Assistant, because becoming just Chief meant being transferred to another ship. Jim, from a hot-headed too young captain who could never settle, to a diplomatic explorer with a crew he would die for and would die for him.
And the two of them, from good friends to her running scared when he flirted with her for the first time, to best friends years later and then husband and wife. Jim knew without a doubt that he wouldn't be the man he was without her. He had been ready to give up the life of captain, he had lost his way and his purpose. That talk by the fountain on his birthday on Yorktown all those years ago... He told her how he felt about her, and how he felt so lost in his life. She had taken his hand, and kissed him for the first time. And it fell into place for him. She tasted like space, she belonged in space. And so, did he. In space and with her.
Jim halted their dance.
"What?" she asked, looking concerned.
"I just... love you," he said, the hand on her back pulling her closer and his lips meeting hers.
A song fic hosted by @thefanficfaerie for her Backstreets Back Challenge. I chose “As Long As You Love Me” and now that song is forever in my head. Two will be posted tomorrow. A HUGE shoutout to @sass-and-suspenders for being my support while I wrote this angsty novella and for giving me the brilliant idea in the first place! 😘
Warning: Long fic (4000ish words)
Story takes place during “Undiscovered Country.” Yes, THAT episode...you know the one
Rafael sat in the back of the classroom, biting back a smirk as he watched you deliver your closing argument for a mock trial, wiping the floor with the prosecution team. As a favor to a friend, he was guest lecturing for a semester at Columbia University.
“Mr. Barba, the evidence presented by the prosecution is weak and circumstantial at best. Mr. Haines had done odd jobs and worked as a gardener for Mrs. Ellis which explains why his muddy footprints, and his blood from an injury sustained on the job were found at the crime scene. Furthermore, the coroner’s report stated that time of death was between 5pm and 7pm on the evening of May 20th. My client was four hours away at a family reunion in Boston and it was confirmed by multiple people that he was present the entire time. Does the prosecution really expect us to believe that Mr. Haines drove four hours back to Mrs. Ellis’ home, in rush hour traffic no less, murdered her in cold blood, buried her body, hid the weapon, cleaned himself up, then drove four hours back to Boston in time for s’mores around the campfire with his cousins?”
Even though he knew you already won, Rafael sat quietly, pursing his lips as he pretended to deliberate over your argument. After a moment he walked to the front of the class, a smile slowly spread across his face, “Congratulations, Ms. Y/L/N. I believe you just won your case.”
You beamed, bouncing up and down on the balls of your feet before looking over at the prosecution team, who were less than enthused. “Sorry,” you mumbled. “It was a good try.”
After your victory, Rafael dismissed everyone. It was the last day of class and students couldn’t get out fast enough, excited to celebrate after a long hard semester. You took your time, packing up your things, hoping to get a chance to speak with your guest professor.
Rafael was confident and sexy. You had never known anyone to discuss torts and mens rea with as much passion and fire as he did. He was mesmerizing, drawing you in like a moth to a flame.
Once the classroom was empty, you walked up to him, unable to conceal the blush forming on your cheeks. “Thanks for a great class, Mr. Barba. I really learned a lot under you.” You closed your eyes, shaking your head upon realizing your innuendo. “I mean not under you...but…ummm you were hard and I liked that. Well...not hard that way...not in the sense that I thought you had an erection...but..ummm..” You rambled on, digging yourself into a bigger hole, your pink tinged cheeks turning beet red. “And you want to be a lawyer? You can barely form a sentence,” you thought to yourself.
Rafael laughed, you had caught his eye since the first day of class. You were brilliant with razor sharp focus and not to mention beautiful. No other woman had ever made his heart skip a beat the way you did, not even Yelina. “I know what you meant, Ms. Y/L/N. Congratulations on winning your case today. Ever think about becoming a prosecutor?”
“I thought about it, but I really want to pursue human rights. Working with NGOs or non-profits.”
“An admirable career,” he smiled at you, clenching his fist to keep from tucking a strand of hair behind your ear. “Whatever you pursue, I know you’ll be an amazing lawyer.”
“Thanks,” you softly said. Letting out a deep breath, you decided to be bold. “So even though I’m going into an entirely different field of the law. I’d love to know what the day to day life of being a lawyer is really like. Maybe if you’re free we could grab coffee or something and I can pick your brain.”
He quirked an eyebrow at you, a smirk firmly planted on his face, “Are you asking me out, Ms. Y/L/N?”
You bit your lip, your heart pounding in your chest, “Can I plead the fifth?”
He subtly looked you over before glancing down at his watch, “As of 5 minutes ago, I’m no longer your teacher so how about instead of coffee, we grab dinner?”
You shyly smiled, looking up at him from beneath your lashes, “I’m free now, if you are?”
“Well then let’s go,” he said, grabbing his briefcase and jacket, leading you out of the classroom.
***
You paced the living room floor, worrying your bottom lip as you dialed Rafael’s number. The sounds of the city that never sleeps could be heard from outside your apartment, but all you wanted to hear in that moment was your boyfriend’s voice on the other line. Instead you got his voicemail. You sighed in frustration, waiting for the obligatory beep to leave a message.
“Hey, mi amor, can you call me back when you get this. You were supposed to be home from the hospital 2 hours ago. I’m not trying to be a nag, I’m just worried about you.”
Hanging up the phone, you plopped down on the couch. Something was wrong. You could feel it deep in the pit of your stomach. Over the past few months, Rafael had been struggling with his cases, often coming home late at night with the weight of the world bearing down on his shoulders.
This recent case in particular hit the ADA hard. You remember him reluctantly telling you about the mother and father standing on opposite sides of the fence, each believing they knew the right choice to make for their dying child.
You knew Rafael was torn over prosecuting the case. It brought back memories of when he was in a similar situation, ultimately deciding not to end his own father’s suffering when he was put on life support. You felt helpless, watching the man you love being eaten away at by his job, tormented by the decisions he had to make. If he even could make those decisions sans bias sans judgement.
Lady Justice may be blind, but looking at that dying beautiful baby boy and his heartbroken parents, Rafael wanted nothing more than to rip the blindfold off. But as Jack McCoy said, they were not in the compassion business.
You were about to call him again when the sound of the apartment door opening stole your attention away from the phone. “Raf? Is that you?” You leapt off the couch and ran to the foyer. “Are you ok? I’ve been calling non-stop. Why didn’t you pick up your--”
You stopped dead in your tracks when you saw your boyfriend. His appearance shook you to the core. A mixture of sadness and fear etched in his face. His eyes slightly wild and glossy with tears. A shroud of darkness looming over him.
“Raf, what’s wrong?” You softly asked.
Rafael stared at the ground, studying the hardwood floor, shaking his head. “I did it,” he whispered.
“Did what?” Your mouth went dry as you took a cautious step towards him, like you would approach a wounded frightened animal. “Mi amor, what did you do?”
“I turned off the machine. I...ended his…suffering. I had to do it. I had --” he looked up at you, his eyes vacant for a second before a look of shock slowly spread across his face. “Dear God, what have I done? What have I done? What have I done?” In an instant, Rafael collapsed to his knees, his body wracked by sobs.
You ran to him, holding him close as he cried, clutching fistfuls of your shirt in his hands. Rafael, the man who was a lion in the courtroom, fierce and commanding, was falling apart in your arms. You rocked him back and forth like a child, running your hand through his hair, trying to soothe him as best you could.
Eventually, you both made it to the bedroom. Rafael laid his head on your chest, telling you everything that had happened. About how the judge needed to appoint a guardian ad litem, the prolonged pain Drew experienced every day of his life, the agony his mother felt, how he told her to leave the room, Bach’s cantatas, the orange roses, the peace after so much suffering, the silence afterwards.
Rafael was sensible, pragmatic, he knew what the law and the potential repercussions of his actions. You didn’t necessarily agree with what he did, but you understood why he did it. Tears ran down your cheeks as you listened, holding him even tighter, whispering that everything was going to be ok over and over again. It was the only thing you could do as the two of you cried together in the dark.
***
The next morning you slipped out of bed, not wanting to disturb Rafael. After a long and restless night, he had finally managed to fall asleep. Sipping on your coffee, you sat at the breakfast bar while typing an email when he came into the kitchen.
“Hi,” you softly smiled at him. “How are you feeling?”
He didn’t respond, choosing instead to pour himself a cup of coffee. You watched as he sipped from his Harvard Law mug while flipping through the New York Times. It was unsettling, the way he was acting as if nothing happened the night before.
“I told my boss I would be out today,” you said. “I thought we could talk, spend the day together. Maybe figure out what the next steps are.”
Rafael set the paper down, moving to rinse out his mug in the sink. “I can’t. I have a meeting at the D.A.’s office and then I’m going to meet that lawyer, Dworkin. He defended Byron Marks, the rapist Fin tracked down in Cuba. He’s repugnant, but I think he’ll be a good lawyer to represent me if they plan to indict.”
You stared at him, your mouth agape, hearing him talk about picking a defense attorney to represent him as casually as if he were debating whether to wear his polka dotted suspenders or striped ones. “Can I at least come with you? We can talk to Dworkin together.”
He shook his head, giving you a chaste peck on the cheek. “Thanks for the offer, but I should go on my own.” He walked down the hallway, calling over his shoulder, “I won’t be late.”
You sat there for a minute before walking into the bedroom, Rafael was already in the shower. You bit your lip, your hand hovering over the doorknob to the bathroom, wanting nothing more than to burst right in and demand he talk to you. With a sigh, you dropped your hand and walked to the closet to get dressed, unable to muster the courage. “Maybe he needs some time to process everything?” You thought as you picked out an outfit. “He’ll be fine. We’ll get through this together.”
***
It had been a rough month. Rafael had been placed on administrative leave by the D.A.’s office until the trial. If he wasn’t wandering around the apartment aimlessly, he would be out working with Dworkin on his case or meeting with Olivia, always keeping you at arm’s length. He had completely shut you out. Apart from the polite exchange of pleasantries and small talk, he would say nothing more to you about how he was feeling. Now with the trial only a week away, the tension was palpable, hanging heavy in the air.
Hoping to relieve some of that tension, you thought a night out would help your boyfriend let loose and forget about his troubles. Tonight the law firm you worked at was hosting its annual charity dinner. You and Rafael always attended, drinking and socializing. You were considered the “It” couple, the sharp tongued, handsome ADA and the gorgeous human rights lawyer.
Rafael aimlessly flipped through channels, waiting for you to get dressed. “Y/N, are you almost ready? We’re going to be late.”
“I’ll be right there,” you shouted from the bedroom.
He sighed and turned off the TV, hearing a rustling of paper beside him. Looking down, he spied a newspaper stuck between two couch cushions. He grabbed the paper only to see a picture of him standing on the courthouse steps surrounded by reporters, his face grim and solemn. Above the picture was a title that read, “ADA Murder Trial in One Week.” Rafael audibly swallowed as he skimmed the article. He took a deep breath, trying to calm his nerves and keep his hands from shaking even more than they already were.
You came upon the scene and froze, silently cursing yourself for not throwing away that damn newspaper. Nervously shifting from foot to foot, you cleared your throat to get his attention, “I’m ready.”
He looked back and gave you a tight smile, getting up to grab his coat. You gripped his arm, pulling him back to you. “Ya know, we don’t have to go tonight,” you said, adjusting his bow tie. “We could just cancel. Stay in, relax, get naked,” you purred, kissing his jaw. Although sex was the furthest thing from your mind, at least it would be some sort of connection with Rafael.
“No, it’s ok. We should go,” he turned towards the door, leaving you no choice but to follow him.
***
You sipped on your wine, making small talk with Gary, your paralegal, catching Rafael’s eye from across the room as he sat at your table, drinking his scotch. Throughout the evening, he tried to avoid talking or being around as many people as possible, afraid that someone would bring up the trial.
As the band began to play soft music, you were finally able to tear yourself away from Gary and make your way back to your boyfriend. “So tell me, what’s a girl gotta do to steal a dance with the sexiest man in the room?”
Rafael chuckled, tipping his glass, watching the amber liquid tilt and catch the light of the candles on the table. “Not sure. Why don’t you ask him?”
“Please, baby. Dance with me,” you pouted your lips, looking at him with big doe eyes as you batted your lashes.
For the first time in weeks, he smiled a real smile at you, his eyes happy and light. A warmth spread through your body when he smiled at you like that, shooting straight through your heart. “Sure,” he offered his hand to you. He couldn’t say no to you if he tried. Once on the dance floor, he gripped your waist, holding you close, your bodies swaying to the music.
You looked into his hypnotic green eyes, running your fingers through the hair at the nape of his neck, “Thanks for coming with me tonight. I couldn’t be here without you by my side,”
“Always, cariño,” he softly said. You blushed, the room fading away, leaving only you and him. No trial, no pain, no fear, just two people who loved each other.
“Y/N!” Gary called out to you. You softly groaned, unhappy that your perfect moment was interrupted.
Your paralegal walked over to you and Rafael, “Y/N, they need all the partners for pictures right now.”
“Ok, I’ll be right there,” you replied before looking at Rafael, “I’ll be one minute.”
“Take your time,” he said.
As Gary pulled you off the dance floor, you looked back at your boyfriend playfully rolling your eyes. He smiled and went back to the table, watching as the photographer snapped pictures of you and the older partners along with various members of charity organizations. You were the youngest member of your law firm to be made partner. He was so proud of your accomplishments. From the moment he met you, Rafael knew you were destined for great things.
“Hey! I know you!” said a voice by the bar. Rafael turned his head and saw one of your co-workers drunk, stumbling towards him. “You’re the guy who killed that baby!” The man slapped him on the back, “Damn! Let me get you a drink. Gotta live it up now. You may be put away for murder in a few weeks,” he laughed, finishing the last of his drink.
The ADA stiffened, nervously glancing around to make sure no one else was paying attention. “Excuse me, I have to go,” he abruptly got up from his chair, tugging at his bowtie which seemed to be too tight. He left the room in need of fresh air, looking back at you one last time before leaving.
***
The ride home was silent. After the pictures were taken and you had finally found Rafael, he asked if you could leave, practically pushing you out the door, not answering any of your questions. When you got back, he walked into the apartment, making a beeline for the scotch.
You gritted your teeth. Like pot that had been ignored and bubbled over, you had reached your boiling point. “Alright, enough!” You stomped over to him, snatching the scotch from his hand and downing it in one big swig. Rafael stared at you, completely stunned. You slammed the empty glass down, “I can’t stand this silence anymore, it’s driving me crazy. You’ve been walking around here like a zombie for weeks.” You pinched the bridge of your nose before reaching out and placing his hands in yours, “Rafi, por favor, mi amor. Talk to me, please.”
“Why are you still here?” He mumbled, stepping away from you.
“What?”
“I said, why are you still here,” he repeated a little louder.
“What do you mean, why am I here?! This is my home, Rafael. You are my home,” you placed your hand over his chest where his heart laid, beating against your palm.
He pushed your hand away, “Well I’ve got news for you, your home is broken. I can’t be your home anymore.”
You vehemently shook your head, cupping his face in your hands, “You are not broken. I know you don’t mean that. I love you. We love each other.”
He scoffed, “You love me? Are you going to love me when I go to jail and you have to visit me through 6 inches of plate glass,” he laughed but there was no humor behind it.
His words stung as if he doubted your love for him. As if he thought that you would abandon him during one of the hardest moments of his life. “Rafi...I--”
“Have you seen the papers!?” He interjected. “I’m a murderer, a monster. I know what they think when they see us. Here’s Y/N, youngest partner at her law firm and oh there’s her boyfriend, he went to trial for murdering a baby.”
“Is this about tonight? Did something happen?”
“It’s not just tonight!” He exclaimed causing you to flinch. “It’s every day! This trial, my actions, they will always be over your head. Is that how you want to live your life?”
“I don’t care about that! None of that matters to me! All that matters is you and me. You are NOT the man they say you are!” You shouted before winding your arms around him, although he didn’t hug you back. He stood there like a statue, knowing if he were to return your embrace, he would breakdown in your arms. You inhaled deeply, smelling his cologne mixed that familiar scent that was Rafael, your tears wetting his dress shirt. “I know you, not them and I’m telling you that I don’t care what happens or what you did. I will love you and be there for you no matter what.”
Unwrapping his arms from around you, he grabbed your hand, leading you to the door. “Get out,” he softly said.
You raised your eyebrows in surprise, “Excuse me?”
“You heard me. Get out,” he growled. “I’m not going to stand here and watch you ruin your life.” There was a silent stare down between you both, waiting for the other person to make the next move. “Get out!” He barked.
“No. I’m not going to do that, Rafael,” you whispered. “You need me, we need each other, that’s the only way we will survive this.”
“Get out,” he said in a dangerously low tone. You stood there, rooted to the spot, refusing to leave. “Fine, if you won’t leave, then I will,” he turned and left, slamming the door behind him so hard the walls vibrated.
***
Letting out a shaky breath you didn’t realize you had been holding in, you silently made your way back to the couch. You curled up in a ball and wept, waiting for Rafael to come home, waiting for him to come back to you.
You cried for hours after he left, eventually falling asleep on the couch. Only to be woken up by the loud ADA clumsily stumbling into your home. “Raf,” you croaked out, sitting up to turn on a lamp.
Rafael came into the room, a big cheesy smile planted on his face, his bowtie undone, hair askew. “There she is! The woman that just doesn’t quit. All my other failed relationships, they all left, but not you, because you are stubborn,” he pointed to you and giggled. “Almost as stubborn as me...almost.”
He tripped over his own feet, trying to get closer to you, nearly falling over on the coffee table in the process. “Have you been drinking?” You asked.
“Now I see why they give you the big bucks. You don’t miss a trick,” he said with a wink, his body swaying from side to side, the man was snarky even while intoxicated.
You got up and went over to him, gently trying to lead him to the bedroom. Although herding cats seemed like a much easier mission than putting a drunk Rafael to bed. “Come on, mi amor,” you took his hands and led him down the hall. “Let’s go to bed.”
He leaned over, placing his body weight, on you, pinning you up against the wall as he sloppily kissed down your neck, the sharp ethanol smell of whiskey on his breath stinging your nostrils, “Mmmm if I go to jail, maybe they’ll let us have conjugal visits. What do you think?” He slurred against the hollow of your throat. “Think the boss will let you off work early to fuck me in one of those teeny tiny trailers.”
He pulled back, his eyes going wide, “Ooo will you smuggle contraband in for me like good coffee and a law book that has a toothbrush turned into a shiv hidden in the pages.”
“Shhh, we’ll talk about that later,” you replied. Finally you both made it the bedroom. By the time you had stripped him of his clothes, you felt like you had just run a marathon. “I need to work out more,” you mumbled, wiping the sweat off your brow.
After placing a glass of water and two ibuprofen by his side of the bed, you laid down, Rafael immediately curling up against you.
“Y/N,” he choked out. “I’m scared.”
You rubbed soothing circles into his back. “I know. I’m scared too, but we’ll get through this together,” you whispered. “Just rest, baby.”
The next morning, you reached a hand out, still half asleep, expecting to find the warmth of your boyfriend’s body next to you. Instead you were greeted by cold rumpled sheets.
“Rafael?” You sleepily mumbled, sniffing the air in search of the coffee he usually made, only to find nothing. Getting out of bed, you padded down the hall, the apartment was still dark and eerily calm. Then you saw it, a slip of paper next to a framed picture of you and him smiling and laughing at happier times. As you read the short note, you could feel your heart drop down to your stomach.
I’m so sorry, mi amor. I’m doing this for your own good. You deserve someone better than me. I’ve already destroyed my life, my career. I can’t stand the thought of taking you down with me. I love you.
-Raf
The letter slipped from your fingers, wafting down to land at your feet. You immediately grabbed your phone, calling Rafael’s number only to hear his voicemail on the other line.
A/N: I joined another challenge hosted by @thefanficfaerie to get my creativeness flowing again. This is a song fic and I chose Incomplete by the Backstreet Boys. You’ll find the song in bold and memories in italics. I hope you all like it. Enjoy!
Steve sat on the edge of the bed, looking over the contents of the bedroom. It didn’t matter how many times he did this nothing ever changed, and one thing remained the same...your things were gone and never coming back. All that was left were the empty spaces that once housed your items, and a hole in his once full heart.
“I can’t do this.”
“Can’t do what?” Steve said, confused by the look on your face.
“This…us. It’s not working anymore.” Tears were starting to form in your eyes.
“Baby…I can change…I’ll fix this…”
“You keep saying that and I just…I can’t any more, Steve. I…I’m leaving…”
Steve inhaled a breath and let it out, taking one last look around. His eyes moved to the nightstand and saw the picture frame you had left behind; a memory of a happier time. It was taken last year at Coney Island, both of you with bright smiles on your faces, gazing into each other eyes. There was so much love and adoration in this picture, something so precious. It almost pained him to stare at it knowing he would never be able to look at you like this again, all his hope for a brighter future gone forever.
Empty spaces fill me up with hopes
Distant faces with no place left to go
Without you within me I can’t find no rest
Where I’m going is anybody’s guess
With the picture in hand, he grabbed his bag and keys and headed for the door. Steve wasn’t sure when he’d be back—if he would, but he had to do this. Steve had to get out of the apartment that housed so many memories…memories that were slowly killing him inside.
“Where will you go?” Steve’s face matched yours, tears streaking down his cheeks.
“L.A. I’m heading to Los Angeles.”
“Bucky’s in L.A. You’re going to him?” He swallowed hard and sighed heavily.
You chuckled and shook your head, “Steve…he’s family, of course, I’m going to see him. He said I could stay there for as long as I need.”
“So, he knows?” Steve lowered his head to the ground, not wanting to make eye contact with you.
”He does…and he’s promised not to hold it against you. I told him this was just as much my fault as it is yours. I wouldn’t tell him the real reason. No matter what, I’d never take your best friend away from you.”
Steve left the apartment and shut the door behind him. He headed out of the building and made his way to his car, pulling his phone out and calling the last person on his recent call list.
“Hey, man!” The voice happily says on the other end.
“Morning, Sam. I have a favor to ask you.”
“Ooh, that’s risky,” he teases, “and straight to the point. Alright, Steve…what’s up?”
Steve sighs heavily, “Can you keep an eye on Thor for me…take him to your place for a while?”
“Steven…” Sam reverts to therapist mode.
“Just…please, Sam. I need this.” He gets in his vehicle and starts the car.
“You going somewhere?” His friend asks with a slight level of concern.
“For a drive,” Steve replies without hesitation.
Sam is the one that sighs in response to Steve’s attempt at omission, “When are you going to let this go…this isn’t healthy. Do I need to call Barnes?”
“Sam…I’m going for a drive to try and clear my head. I don’t know when I’ll be back, just please keep an eye on my dog…and for the love of God, please don’t call Bucky…I’m begging you.”
Sam pauses for a moment to think about what he’d been told. “Yeah, man…I’ll do it. Promise me something, okay? Just…try to move on and keep me updated.”
“Thanks, Sam.” Steve ends the call and puts the phone in his seat, making his way out of New York.
I tried to go on like I never knew you
I’m awake but my world is half asleep
I pray for this heart to be unbroken
But without you all I’m going to be is incomplete
“Baby…don’t do this…” Steve pleads through reddened eyes.
You shake your head at him and swallow hard, “You think I want to do this…end what we have? Nothing we do is working anymore, Steve and I can’t live stuck in a holding pattern, it’s not healthy for either of us. It’s time to let go.”
“This is all wrong. I refuse to believe this is the end.” The tears are flowing, like a river running down stream.
You look into his eyes and for a second, you begin to doubt yourself. “It’s for the best…”
Steve drives for days, New York becoming a distant memory. There’s no destination in mind, but the drive is freeing…liberating. This is something he should have done right after you left. Maybe he would have let you go months ago, if he wasn’t so wrapped up in what went wrong, but that’s what this road trip was about. Letting go.
He stops at a diner in Indiana, ready to call it a day. From the looks of things, it’s just a little mom and pop place in the middle of a small town with one four way stop and a blinking yellow light further down into town. It’s a place Steve knows he could get lost in, if he really didn’t want to be found.
The waitress greets him as he enters and shows him to a both in the back. She lays a menu down in front of him and takes his drink order. When she walks away he looks around and takes in the few patrons that are enjoying their meals, no one really paying the tall blond any mind. Steve feels a bit of relief at that moment. No one knows just how empty he really is and the internal struggle going on from within. Right now, he’s the stranger in the black Challenger, stopping for a bite to eat…just passing through.
Voices tell me I should carry on
But I am swimming in an ocean all alone
Baby, my baby, it’s written on your face
You still wonder if we made a big mistake
“Where are we going, silly?” You smile excitedly at your boyfriend.
Steve smiles back, his white teeth shinning in the sun, “It’s a surprise.”
“You know I don’t like surprises, just tell me where we’re going?” You happily poke at his sides, trying to get him to spill the details.
He laughs and tries to move out of your reach, but you pull him back by the arm. Steve concedes and moves in closer, wrapping his arms around you in a tight hug.
“Okay, okay…I’ll spill…we’re going to Coney Island…I got a whole date planned for us…”
Steve smiles at the picture, the memory taking him to a happier place.
“She’s beautiful.” The waitress has brought his food and sees him staring down at it.
He takes the picture and places it in the inside pocket of his coat, “she is.”
“You love her.”
Steve looks up and the woman and lets out a breath, “I do…pretty sure I always will.”
“Then it’s a good thing what you’re doing…getting her back.” She smiles at Steve.
“That’s not-I’m not-it’s not…” He stutters out.
The waitress chuckles at his failing attempt at words, “Honey…you’re in nowhere, Indiana, and I’ve seen this too many times to count. The road you’re traveling on is the one that leads back to her. I promise…you’ll get there.” She places his bill on the table and walked off with a smile.
Steve blinks a few times, absorbing what the woman just said. Is that what he’s doing? Could his subconscious really be taking him to L.A.? And even if it was, could he really show up on her doorstep and beg her to take him back? Too many questions, but one thing was for certain…he’d already driven to Indiana, it wouldn’t hurt to keep going west. He couldn’t give up now, he’d already come too far.
I tried to go on like I never knew you
I’m awake but my world is half asleep
I pray for this heart to be unbroken
But without you all I’m going to be is incomplete
It takes him a few more days to reach L.A., but a few phone calls and lots of groveling later and he knew you were still living in Bucky’s house. Steve was a mere couple hours away from seeing you again, but beyond that…he had no idea what he was going to do past showing up at your door.
“Please…I’m begging you…don’t do this…”
You packed the last of your things in the box, “Steve…we’ve changed, and things are no longer working like they did. I mean, maybe we could work on things if you actually came home and weren’t married to your job!”
Steve shook his head and ran his fingers through his hair in frustration, “I’m not married to my job…I’m planning on marrying you.”
“Yeah, well in order to do that, you have to spend time away from work. I swear you proposed to Tony Stark and not me!”
You take the box and start to walk in the living room, but Steve grabs at your arm, stopping you before you could leave the bedroom.
“What if I promise to cut back…I’ll talk to Tony-“
“Steve…,” a tear starts to run down your face, “you said that before…but we both know there’s always a project or Stark needs you to join him for one more thing. You’ve promised me time and time again things would change, but they never do, and I can’t be the only one trying in our relationship. Not anymore.”
You pull out of Steve’s grasp and finish walking to grab your bag from the living room. You stopped short of your things and put the box on the floor. You hold out your left hand and remove the ring on your finger, placing it on the table near the door.
”Goodbye, Steve…” you picked up your box and bag and made your way out the door of the apartment you had shared with him.
Steve replayed the memory of that day in his mind as he pulled up to the place you had been calling home for the past eight months. It was all his fault. Once he proposed, he should’ve made you a priority and not placed his job above you. If he had done things like you asked, you wouldn’t be here living in L.A. You’d be back in Manhattan with Steve and Thor, possibly married, living your happily ever after.
I don’t mean to drag it on
But I can’t seem to let you go
I don’t want to make you face this world alone
I want to let you go
Steve inhales a deep breath and decides it’s now or never. He’s traveled this far…he has to try to get you back. Steve gets out of the car and walks up to the door, hesitating before knocking.
“For you, my lady…” he hands you the giant-sized bear.
You wrap your arms around it and give it a tight hug, “It’s so fluffly! And to think, it only cost you twenty dollars!”
“Damn carnival games…such a rip off.” Steve laughs lightly.
“I don’t know…you did win. Was it worth it?” You question him with a smile.
Steve grins back at you and gets down on one knee, “It might be…if you say yes to this…”
He stops his thoughts right there. Steve is aware of what comes next, and he can’t bare to think about it anymore. Right now, he has a mission…to knock on the door and get you back into his arms.
I tried to go on like I never knew you
I’m awake but my world is half asleep
I pray for this heart to be unbroken
But without you all I’m going to be is incomplete
You were in the kitchen, doing dishes when you heard the knock. You turn off the water and dry your hands, before making your way into the front door, not even bothering to see who was on the other side. Had you taken a moment to check, you may have been able to prepare yourself to see the person waiting on the other side.
“Steve…” you whispered when you laid eyes on him.
“Baby…”
Tears start to run down your face and all your memories come flooding back full force.
“I…I missed you…”
“Me too, and I’m sorry…please come home…” Steve holds out the engagement ring you left behind, asking to be forgiven.
Two weeks! Two horrible, lonely weeks full of self loathing and sad music. You made a simple mistake, why couldn’t Steve understand?
Yes, Bucky was his best friend. Yes, Steve was an extremely territorial and jealous hunk of a man. But, a simple kiss shouldn’t have set him off like it did. Bucky was your best friend and confidant, just as he was for Steve. And, just like with Steve, you both had history.
Bucky was important to you in many ways, you loved him, just as Steve loved him. You never judged them for their history. Never did you feel jealousy over Steve embracing Bucky when reuniting after a hard mission or seeking his comfort when you were away for weeks on end for work. But, one little kiss and Steve just shuts you out.
Two fucking weeks! You had cried, raged, and cried some more until you felt hollow. Luckily, Bucky would be back tonight and perhaps the two of you could talk some sense into your hardheaded lover.
Pulling on some sweatpants and a comfy black tee, you stalked from your room towards the kitchen, intending to grab a cup of coffee before relaxing for a while. It was your day off and you were not going to let Steve’s petulant attitude ruin it.
Soon, you were sipping a steaming cup of coffee, happily reading your favorite romance novel. Sequestered in your fortress of solitude, aka the library, you heard a ping from your phone. Picking up the phone, you realized it was a group text from Tony that said, Celebration tonight in the common room. Be there with your best singing voices! I just upgraded the karaoke machine and you are all my guinea pigs! Also, there will be ample food and alcohol to celebrate a job well done for those returning from missions today. 7pm sharp, don’t be late!
Feeling both elated and a bit nervous, it never did anyone any good to refuse celebrations that Tony planned, you hopped up from your seat and hustled back to your bedroom to finish what little bit of chores you needed to do before getting ready for tonight. A bit of singing tonight might help loosen Steve up before you and Bucky confronted him. He always said that your voice helped him to relax. With a bit of a giggle, you pushed yourself into a jog. The faster you finished, the quicker you could put your plan into action.
A few hours later, you were dressed to the nines in Steve’s favorite dress. You felt sexy and excited to get to show off for him tonight, but also a bit nervous. Bucky had yet to show up to your room. His plane landed around 3 and you sent him a prompt message asking him to come see you so you could talk. He never replied, which was odd but not an unheard of occurrence. Knowing him, he probably went straight to his room to nap before the party tonight. But, it was approaching the 7pm deadline and if he didn’t show up soon, you would be all on your own to confront Steve.
A few moments later, a soft knock came at your door. On swift feet, you ran to the door, grabbing your shoes on the way. Stopping just shy of the door, you took a deep breath before opening it.
You tried hard not to show your disappointment at finding Sam on the other side. “Hey, Sam, what’s up?”
“Not much, just came to see if you wanted to go on down to the party with me. Everyone else is waiting for their favorite songbird to arrive.” The grin on his face was hard to ignore and set you giggling back at his teasing tone. Lacing your arms together you began walking in the direction of the party.
“Sure. I was kind of waiting for Bucky, but he’s probably still getting ready for the party.” The frown on Sam’s face was quickly hidden, but it still set you on edge. “Ok birdbrain, spill it. What’s got your feathers in a ruffle?”
Sam sighed, rolling his eyes at the nickname and icy tone. He should have known that you would be suspicious. “Y/N, Bucky is already at the party. He and Steve both asked me to get you.”
You froze in place. “Why would they do that?”
Tugging a bit on your arm, Sam set you both walking again. “I have no clue, guess you will find out when we get there.”
Reluctantly, you walked arm in arm with Sam and reached the party just as Tony was taking the stage.
“There’s our sweet girl. About time you showed up!” Rolling your eyes as everyone chuckled, you followed Sam to a seat towards the front.
“Now that the Queen of Song has graced us with her presence, we can finally get this party started.” Tony winked at you, a teasing and mischievous light in his eyes, that set you blushing. “Y/N, this first one is for you dear.”
A small frown knit itself in your brow when the lights shut off. Then the sound of a piano began to flow from your right and you realized that this wasn’t music from the machine but someone playing live.
A spotlight hit the piano and illuminated Bucky, leaning slightly over the keys and playing a familiar tune. But, it was the sound of a second light coming on, pointed at the stage that had you slowly turning.
A small gasp brought tears to your eyes as Steve began to sing along to the piano.
Empty spaces fill me up with holes
Distant faces with no place left to go
Without you within me I can't find no rest
Where I'm going is anybody's guess
The tears cascaded like rivers down your cheeks as Steve sang your most favorite song. One that had graced your ears multiple times over the past two weeks. You thought it couldn’t get much better than this until you heard Bucky lift his voice with Steve for the chorus.
I tried to go on like I never knew you
I'm awake but my world is half asleep
I pray for this heart to be unbroken
But without you all I'm going to be is incomplete
Their singing became thoroughly distracting, so much that you didn’t notice Clint take over the piano from Bucky. With a nod of thanks, he walked onto the stage, catching your full attention with the next verse, as Steve snuck offstage.
Voices tell me I should carry on
But I am swimming in an ocean all alone
Baby, my baby, it's written on your face
You still wonder if we made a big mistake
Steve slowly approached your chair from the side as Bucky descended the stairs directly in front of you. His eyes kept you enthralled until a soft touch to your left hand caught your attention. Steve smiled with all the love in his heart and turned to look at Bucky as he gently wiped a tear from your cheek.
I tried to go on like I never knew you
I'm awake but my world is half asleep
I pray for this heart to be unbroken
But without you all I'm going to be is incomplete
Alternating lines of the song had another round of tears falling from your eyes as the men you loved held tightly to your hands.
I don't mean to drag it on
But I can't seem to let you go
I don't want to make you face this world alone
I wanna let you go (alone)
With tear filled eyes, they sang their hearts out to you and smiled as the final chorus approached. Their eyes seemed to yearn for you to join them. With a small nod, they helped you stand pulling you between them. You placed the hands that they still held to each of their hearts and joined their voices with yours for the final chorus.
I tried to go on like I never knew you
I'm awake but my world is half asleep
I pray for this heart to be unbroken
But without you all I'm going to be is incomplete
Incomplete
As the sound of the piano died, you smiled up at Steve and instantly knew you were forgiven. Looking to Bucky, he smiled down at you and pulled the both of you into a tight hug.
Applause from around you soon degraded into raucous cheering when Steve pulled you into a heated kiss that made your toes tingle. Just as your feet touched the floor, your body was forcefully spun around and lifted where Bucky kissed you with reckless abandon.
Soon your head was spinning again as Steve threw you over his shoulder and stalked from the room with Bucky following close behind, grinning like a hungry wolf.
Without so much as a word from either of them, you knew that, not only were you forgiven, you were about to be rewarded. Life would never be the same after this, and you were perfectly okay with that. As long as you had both of these men in your life, you knew you would never have to face the world alone. Life without both of them would have been incomplete, anyway.
·Pairing: Chris Evans x Reader, Sebastian Stan x Reader.
·Word count: 3769.
·Warnings: Angst, cheating...
· Song: I want it that way.
“It's the best for us,” he said.
“The best for us?! Or the best for you?!” you spat with anger in your voice.
“We need a break. We can't be doing this to ourselves,” he tried to calm you.
“Fine, don't you ever call me again,” you spat, leaving your heart behind.
You walked angrily out of his place not wanting to be anywhere near that man. The past two years you had a “thing”. You two had met walking your pets and became friends easily. Three years being friends and two being friends with benefits. Usually, when you both were out clubbing, you rang the other one's phone to not go home alone. You spent long nights loving each other. At the beginning it was cool, you wanted sex, you had it and still remained friends. It became more than that before you could even stop it. You started staying over at his house or he stayed at yours. He prepared breakfast for you and you did the same. He had to go out of town and he would leave you taking care of his best friend and his house. You would travel to his work. He would attend your expositions. You were trying to become someone inside the art world all by yourself so he went undercover to see your work. He would buy you flowers, he would hold your hand. He would kiss you goodnight. He would watch you work and smile at you. You would prepare his luggage. You would cook dinner for him. You would paint him while he rested next to you. You both would sing out loud to your favourites songs. You both would get jealous when someone looked at you inappropriately. You would argue over some stupid shit and make up later. You both would wanted it in another way but you wouldn't say a word to change it. You drove the other one crazy and wouldn't move a finger to change it.
The last five months you had been arguing non stop. He had been seeing someone but got jealous when you did the same. His family never understood what was going on between you two. He had taken you to his home with his family and introduced you. You had been treated like another member of the family and you would spend long days in their home when you had holidays. He met your family. He would even go on holidays with you and your family. So, seeing the both of you argue over the phone drove them nuts. You knew his mom wasn't happy to see what was happening but you couldn't seem to find the right answers to stop the fights. You had been out of town the last week due to some exposition in London and he was supposed to meet with you up in Amsterdam for the weekend and then fly back home for Christmas. He never showed up.
That's why you went to his house after work and found the reason he didn't get to you. The woman smiled smugly at you and whispered something on his ear before leaving with a “goodbye”.
He greeted you inside his house and you were in denial about what just happened, about what you just saw. You argued and then put an end to your relationship.
You loved the man with your whole heart and couldn't take it anymore. He left you in another country all by yourself for another woman. You used to think he loved you. He told you once in his sleep.
Tears streamed down your face when you arrived to your new empty flat. A flat you both were supposed to decorate. He had promised to help you out when you arrived from Amsterdam and now you were about to spend Christmas alone. You took a shower trying to calm yourself. How could he? After all you had been through he left you for someone else. Of course you did not blame him, you couldn't. You never arrived to terms of a real relationship but you thought he wanted it when he proposed to go to Amsterdam. You were sure he wanted to ask you officially to be his girlfriend. You were clearly wrong. Your phone rang in your purse. You checked it and turned it off. You didn't want to talk to anyone. After drinking some water you went straight to bed. You needed to sleep. To forget what happened. Maybe tomorrow would be a better day.
Wrong. You were wrong once again. You had a meeting with an important business man to decorate his new house with your art. You showed up on time but not his new girlfriend. You choked on your drink when she appeared. She seemed shocked too. She treated you badly and he would try to stop her and she ended up yelling at him for wanting someone else's art on his house instead of the decorations she wanted. He excused himself and the woman and told you he would call back. The rain poured down at the same time you walked out the building.
“Brilliant,” You whispered harshly. You walked all the way back to your little office, picked up your car keys and went to your old flat.
Two weeks later, your new apartment looked incredibly amazing you thought. You had been decorating the last weeks to keep your mind busy. You had been working around the town. You didn't even notice it was Christmas until you had to go for food supplies and found every shop closed. Lucky for you, you had food supplies for your dog. The New Year's morning Scott Chris’s little brother, called you to see how were you doing. He ended up having lunch with you and comforting you.
He had to leave close to evening and you wished him and his family a great night.
“So, it's over?” your best friend asked.
“It was never a thing,” you added.
“Yeah but you could see from miles away you loved each other.” Your friend shrugged over the video call.
“That was long ago. Believe me when I say I want it that way,” you whispered.
“I know you don't want to hear this but I told you so,” she declared.
“New Year, new chances,” you said.
“Why don't you come over before going back to work?” She smiled at you.
“Then help me find a flight,” you told her.
You booked a flight to your friends current living place, London. You would be travelling on the 3rd of January and coming back on the 12th of January.
You cooked dinner for you and your furry best friend. You sat on your couch and ate the traditional grapes your family did though your childhood and teenage years. Even though you left home five years ago, you still followed their Christmas and New Year's traditions. The last two years you Christmas spent it at the Evans's house and he would spend the New Year's With you and your family. Both years he kissed you just after midnight trying to not be caught by your parents. You both knew your family wouldn't take it right so, you keep it low key in your house.
Your best buddy jumped over you when he noticed the tears on your face licking every part he could. You hugged him and kissed his head. He was a good boy. Your best boy. The next morning you woke up and prepared yours and your dog's luggage. You took him for a walk and arrived home after your morning run. He went straight to his bowl of water and you poured some snack in his food bowl. You went for a shower putting some music in the background. Your music was interrupted by Scott's call.
“Hey babe, just calling to wish you a happy New Year. I know things seem difficult now but I promise everything's gonna be alright. Please, text me back when you can, love you.”
You exited the bathroom and texted him back.
“Happy New Year Scottie, I'm fine. Love you back.”
You spend the afternoon sketching your dog and playing with him. You texted your best friend and scheduled things for the next day.
Early morning you walked around the airport waiting to board. Few hours later, you spot your best friend in the crowd.
“I'm glad to see again, darling,” your best friend greeted you.
“I'm glad to be here.”
The same night your friend took you clubbing. The next day you both went around the city like the good old days. Two days later, you did a quick travel to Spain and before you knew it you were patting your dog calm on your flight seats.
After your long flight you had a rest day at home with your little furry boy. You would need to start working soon. You had been waiting for a call all your way back on the flight after you received an email asking for personal details to get in touch with you.
“That's okay. Thank you for the opportunity. See you on Monday.” You spoke over the phone and smiled proudly. An art gallery in New York just called you to arrange a exposition in their facilities and you couldn't be happier. You called Chris to tell him. Scott picked up the phone.
“Hey, honey, how you doing?” Scott saluted.
“Scott! I did it! The gallery just booked me!” you shouted happily jumping in your seat.
“You did what?” he asked confused.
“I've been trying to get to expose my art in this Art gallery in New York but I'd never could until today!!! THEY'RE GOING TO EXPOSE MY ART IN THEIR FACILITIES! THEY'RE HOSTING AN EVENT JUST FOR MY ART!!” you explained doing a cheeky dance in your little office. You heard Scott laugh at the other side.
“I'm so happy for you, sweet. I told you good things were coming.” Scott laughed
“I know! And I can't believe! My art!” You denied smiling and then realization hit you. You just called Chris to tell him and his brother picked the phone up. Chris didn't want to talk to you. And the truth was you didn't want either but you couldn't stop yourself from calling him and tell him. He had been the first one to know anything you had to say always and right now it hadn't change. You excused yourself and asked Scott to not tell Chris about it. You knew it was childish but he didn't deserve to know.
“I hope this one isn't sold. I would hate to not have it on my room.” A voice whispered behind you. You turned around and found Sebastian smiling at you.
“Seb! You're here! You came!” You hugged him tightly and he laughed.
“Of course I am.” Sebastian kissed your forehead. “I wouldn't miss your day.”
“You're the best!” You laughed.
“So, how it's going?” he asked sipping his wine.
You sipped on yours. “The owner said I've already sold five paintings,” you explained, excited.
“Now, this one makes six.” He smirked at you.
You both laughed and looked to the painting before you. It was a portrait of yourself half naked playing piano. Chris had taken you a picture playing his piano half naked after a long night making love. You ran around his house trying to take it away from him and would laugh at you for being small next to him. You demanded the picture for a whole month and he would say no. On your birthday he gave it to you on a pillow and you laughed and kissed him. The next morning you had painted him half naked while he slept. The following week, he had a pillow of you half naked printed in his bed and you had one of him printed back at your place. You really liked the picture and never told him you were playing your heart out to him by a song. Frank Sinatra's strangers in the night sounded on the background and you smiled at the memory.
“If you hang this one up by your bed, I'm kicking your ass,” you warned him. Sebastian laughed out loud and squeezed you by his side.
Chris introduced you while back and you became friends ever since. Sebastian was a good man and always tried to help you in anything you needed. A few months after you met, you had a crush on him but you wouldn't say a thing since it was Chris friend and you knew you were wrong. Sebastian deserved someone who loved him forever and not someone who's sleeping with his friend and trying to forget and hide her feelings for him. Scott noticed these feelings you developed for Sebastian and told you to face it. Sebastian seemed interested in you too. He told you to embrace it and try to know Sebastian and see what the future had for you both. And you were about to do it, but then Sebastian left to Ireland and Chris invited you over to watch movies at his place. That night Chris told you he loved you in his sleep and you couldn't forget or take those words out of your head. When Sebastian came back you had a date and you felt relief when both of you agreed you saw each other as a friend. Ever since Sebastian and you shared a nice friendship and he would flirt with you just to annoy Chris any time. Anthony Mackie would join too.
“I'm glad things working for you, beauty.” Sebastian kissed your head.
“Thank you Seb.” You kissed his beard. “Really, thank you.”
April's fools day arrived and you had been working since early morning. Scott had called you two days ago to invite you to a April's fools party at his place and you said yes. You arrived and went straight to the bathroom. You had a nice warm bath and got ready just on time Sebastian rang your doorbell.
“Damn,” Sebastian whispered looking at your body in a beautiful little red dress.
“See anything you like?” you asked cocking a brow. Sebastian licked his lips and then kissed your forehead.
“I'm glad this is our first date.” Sebastian smiled.
You laughed and kissed his cheek. “I'll be ready in a minute.”
“In that dress I'll wait a thousand years.”
You laughed and walked to put some food on your dog's bowl. Sebastian played with him while you finished.
“Okay buddy, Sebastian and I have to go.” You patted your dog. “You take care of the house and behave, okay?”
Your dog barked in agreement and licked your face. Sebastian patted his head and you left.
“You're my fire,” Sebastian sang.
“The one desire,” you followed.
“Believe when I say,” Sebastian kept singing.
“I want it that way…” You both sang out loud on your way to Scott's house.
Sebastian opened your door just when don't want you back by the Backstreet boys sounded through the speakers.
“Don't tell me you have the whole discography on your phone,” you asked Sebastian, amused.
“My future girl loves them.” He winked at you.
You giggled in response and kissed his cheek. You walked to the door and knocked.
“Helloooooo!!!!!!” Shana welcomed you.
“Hey, sweet!” You hugged her tightly.
“I'm so glad you came!!!” Shana hugged Sebastian and guided you inside. The place was full of people, music, food, drinks, balloons everywhere.
“There's my tequila partner!!!” Scott's high pitched voice made you turn around. He hugged you tightly and you laughed. He kissed your cheek and then hugged Sebastian. Scott looked at you and winked. You both denied.
“For the record, I don't like tequila,” Sebastian added. Shana, Scott, and you laughed. Scott showed you around and dragged you away from Sebastian. Sebastian smiled at you while you followed Scott.
“So, Sebastian and you?” Scott asked pouring a drink for you.
“Mmm we're trying to see how it goes,” you added helping him clean up.
“Do you love him?” Scott looked deeply at you.
You tried to avoid his eyes and focused somewhere else.
“No, I don't,” you assured.
“Then look at me and say you don't.” Scott held your chin to face you. You gulped and denied moving his hand away.
“I can't forget him so easily,” you explained.
“Does Sebastian know?” Scott offered your drink.
“Yes. Sebastian told me he won't force me into anything. He understands I like your brother and he wants to win my heart,” you whispered. “I don't want to hurt him,” you said sadly. Scott squeezed you on his arms and kissed your hair.
“If Sebastian really wants to be with you, he will wait for you.”
“But what if I can't never stop loving your brother?” Your concerned voice sent chills over his spine.
“I know you love him but you can't keep holding yourself back for him,” Scott tried to explain you. “He's my brother and I love him but I don't want you waiting and suffering for him.”
You nodded. “I know,” you said.
“You're like my sister, honey. And I don't want a cad next to her,” Scott spat. You laughed and Scott hugged you.
“You two make a great couple.”
“I hope so.” You smiled back.
You walked back to the party and looked for Sebastian and Shana. You found them talking with Anthony and a few friends. You looked around the room trying to find him but not a single sight of him. You sipped your drink and walked to Sebastian.
Sebastian spun you around for the last time before kissing your cheek and you laughed.
You had been dancing for over an hour. The music was really good and you were enjoying yourself.
“I need to use the restroom,” Sebastian whispered in your ear. You nodded and he kissed your hair leaving your side. You stood there laughing and dancing with your friends. Shana offered you a shot and you drank it easily. You were dancing to “I want it that way” when you spun around and spotted him. He was coming back from the kitchen. Your smiled fell and his face switched to a surprised look and then a guilty one. He watched you across the room as you walked toward Scott. Scott saw him and then turned on his side to face you. Chris whispered something and Scott held his arm whispering something. Shana interrupted.
“Okay everyone, it's time!!!”
Scott joined her dragging Chris with him. As you know we're here to celebrate,” ke explained. “So, we have a few games and the first one is Karaoke!” Scott and Shana cheered. The crowd erupted in cheers. Scott explained the rules of the game and the victory trophy to the best singer. Soon enough, Shana and Mackie stood in front of the crowd of people singing to “Baby one more time” by Britney Spears. The crowd went wild and you laughed at the two of them.
After Mackie's and Shana's performance, the blonde next to Chris joined the little scenario with her friend and sang to I really really like you by Carly Rae Jepsen.
Sebastian arrived by your side and you gave him his drink. He smiled at you and asked what was happening. You explained him and suddenly the melody to I want it that way by the Backstreet boys filled the room. You both looked to the scenario and Chris stood there with Scott by his side. They sang their hearts out. People sang with them. By the time the last chorus arrived Chris walked straight to you and sang the last bit…
“Am I your fire? Your one desire, yeah I know it's too late but I want it that way. Tell me why ain't nothin’ but a heartache, tell me why ain't nothin’ but a mistake, tell me why I never want to hear you say I want it that way…”
The crowd erupted in cheers and Scott dragged Chris through the crowd. Everyone cheered in laughter. Sebastian looked at you while you kept your eyes on Chris. You both looked at each other like you had never been apart. Your heart racing on your chest. Your pulse going crazy. Your whole body trembling. You noticed Sebastian gulping and turned to face him. He smiled at you sadly and your sight flew back to Chris.
Soon enough you went to the restroom. You needed a break. You put some water over your neck and looked at yourself in the mirror. A knock on the other distracted you. You found Chris on the other side. He smiled at you and you smiled back. Before you could even notice he pushed you inside the restroom and locked the door behind. You pushed him back and looked him deeply in the eyes and he whispered the words “I love you.”.
You walked back to the crowded room and stood next to Shana. You tried to find Sebastian but it was too crowded to We will rock you by Queen and Scott's boyfriend performance. Soon Chris joined both of you and your back arched to his proximity. Sebastian appeared on the other side of the room and you smiled at him. When Scott's boyfriend finished his song, you walked quickly to grab the mic.
“Okay, okay, I don't think anyone can beat Queen,” the crowd cheered, “But trust me when I say me and my boy going to rock your body.” You smirked at the crowd and walked next to Sebastian. He grabbed the mic you offered and positioned himself next to you. You told the DJ the song and winked at him.
I don't want you back by the Backstreet boys filled the room and you smiled at Sebastian. Sebastian looked at you and a smile filled his face before starting to sing. The crowd cheered and clapped to your performance.
“Just to let you know, I do want you in that way.” You smiled at him. Sebastian's face lighted up like a Christmas tree and hugged you tightly.
“Then I'm glad I downloaded the discography for my girl.” He kissed your forehead. You laughed and squeezed him. You both saw Chris watching you and Scott and Shana smiled nodding at you. You faced Sebastian and he was still looking at Chris. You saw his features and you knew you really did want it that way. Sebastian turned to face you and you held his face slowly putting your lips on his. Sebastian smiled before hugging you into a loving kiss.
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Hello everybody, I’m back.
This fic it’s coming to be part of @thefanficfaerie #BackstreetBoysChallenge. Thank you so much darling for allowing me to be part of this amazing challenge celebrating the Backstreet Boys 25 years making music. I remember growing up listening them (thank you mum) and, of course, I love them. Also, HAPPY BIRTHDAY SWEETIE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I HOPE YOU HAVE A GOOD ONE. SOME CAKE, SOME WINE AND LOTS AND LOTS AND LOTS OF LOVE.
I really hope you like it and enjoy it as much as I did writing it. Special thanks to my dear @thorne93 for beta’d me. You’re incredible. Love you tons.
And remember to enjoy the Backstreet Boys music. Much love x
