#bad cooks

[brad-ry]

It flows so well.

[leiaswaglando]

Super sorry for my loyal readers who I haven’t updated in a while!  ｡･ﾟﾟ*(>д<)*ﾟﾟ･｡

I’m actually coming off a huuuuuuuuge food poisoning bug and I was having a hard time thinking of anything that wasn’t, “OWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOOWOWOWOWOWOWOWO” all day  (｡T ω T｡) As for how that happened... I uh... kinda walked right into it. 

My C.A. told me his brother once made his mom super salty pancakes for mothers day when he was a kid and insisted he was a terrible cook. But I thought, “Well this was an old story so he shouldn’t be too bad now, right? Doesn’t the Cooking Bug run in families?” So when my C.A.’s brother offered to make breakfast when my C.A. was sleeping in, I told him I’d do it. 

He made some tomato omelettes and they looked okay, but the moment I took a huge bite? I went from peak ace detective energy to “my stomach feels like I just tried to fight my mom with her staff ready”. Even my C.A.’s housewife (househusband?) remedies were only helping to make the pain stop for a minute before it aaaaaaaaallllll came back.  (ಥ﹏ಥ) 

But hey, we’re finally getting back in-shape and the memes and updates’ll fly like always!  ....φ(︶▽︶)φ.... For my avid readers who’re still following despite the silence, you’re the real ones! Let my Leronde Swagger brighten your days once again!

[lovelyglorioustrash]

egg rant time

Eggs, they alone with nothing on them taste like shit you got to add stuff to make it better, I mean at least throw some salt and pepper on there, but for some reason my friend thinks “oh egg with nothing on it that's what you are supposed to do” and i want to correct him but I don't want to be rude, but he like only makes eggs so I have to eat a hard-boiled egg with nothing on it no salt no pepper nothing, more times than I’d like to. the yolk in liquid form i can enjoy without nothing on cause I usually dip it in toast and I like toast, but the egg whites don't taste that good. now back to my friend he cooks his eggs like if its liquid in any way it will instantly kill him, which for the most part is true but he applies this logic to yolks as well and i like a runny yolk but I can’t cook that for him or get him to cook that for me, cause he got it in his mind that liquid egg = bad. he is a good friend just not a good cook.

[iamvictoriaanne]

Are millennials actually terrible cooks or was a survey they took just bogus?

Reporter Erin McCann (@mccanner) put her research skills to the test when digging into a @NowThis Tweet claiming that 40% of millennials don't know what a butter knife is.

I also want to know whether "incapable of preparing a boxed cake mix" means "can't do it" or "doesn't own a cake pan and/or electric mixer"

[thebeccagramchronicles]

You will absolutely love this blackberry coffee cake!

You will absolutely love this blackberry coffee cake!

I have a friend up north near our cabin who is an amazing cook/baker. I mean, amazing. As in, “You wouldn’t believe it” kind of amazing.

I asked her one day how she got to be such a wonderful cook. She told me her mother worked outside the home and expected her to fix dinner when she got home from school. What started out as probably a chore turned out to be a hobby she dearly loves. And as I…

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[bananasforavocados]

My favorite thing

One of my favorite things is when someone with little to no cooking experiences, someone that feels like they did some serious baking when using a pre-made cookie dough or a boxed cake mix, someone that is impressed that they didn't burn the house down just by stepping foot in a kitchen, I love it when those people take on the challenge of truly making something from scratch, when they follow a recipe that is simple to people who grew up cooking and really impress themselves, when they take the first bite of something they made with their own hands and it doesn't taste terrible. That is the most satisfying, pure thing I wish everyone gets the chance to experience.  

[calico-strawberry]

England in a nutshell

[illcookyouclean]

Fresh pasta will forever remind me of the Summer I spent working at a Bay Street fine-dining Italian restaurant in Toronto. When I got the job I thought I had hit the jackpot.  It was in the corporate sector of the city and it was closed on weekends and holidays and the primary rush was lunch hour. No weekends and no late nights! Jackpot. I thought.  In my first couple weeks I made more money than I ever had. The food was beautiful, simple and conservative, and the pasta was the best in the city. 

Yet like many places, the chef was a monster and ruled the whole restaurant like a tyrant. Hardened and mean at the ripe age of 31. He would belittle and torment his brigade, isolate and bully his stages and treat the front of house with a mix of sexism, misogyny or just plain disrespect. Nobody understood his anger. 

It had been rumoured that he had something to prove because he was the owners cousin fresh out of Italy. Yet his food spoke for itself. It was good. Had he treated the people, with whom he spent 15 hours day with, with respect, he’d probably be a household name.  Instead, he created a work environment where it was common for both men and women to regularly break down into anxiety induced tears. Unfortunately, most employees left forgetting the pasta and remembering a bully. 

In a city saturated in restaurant openings with an “industry” seen as a cool sub-culture, a restaurants staff is it’s most important ambassadors. If they aren’t treated with decency or recognized as so, any chef can forget the celebrity and idolization that so often comes with the job. People will leave and word will always get around. The restaurant may still get patrons. But soon it will fail to attract talent and become another insignificant spot. A talented kitchen will never excel on a chef alone. 

One of the talented staff he ultimately lost was the pasta maker. Every morning I would walk through the kitchen and he would be up to his arms in flour, carefully cutting and rolling pasta for the day. He took pride in his work and it showed every time. He was a father figure to the staff because despite the little napoleon running around screaming, he was always cool and collected. Now as an amateur pasta maker myself, I can understand why. 

Cooking has always been a labour of love for me. When I realized I could make pasta without a machine, no truer have the words ‘labour of love’ been. Yet at least once a month, in the most stressful of weeks I seem to dedicate a whole evening to making a new pasta. Whether it’s the endless kneading or the process as whole, I always finish exhausted and relaxed with a full belly. I now understand why that pasta maker could manage to stay blissful while working under such a tyrant. 

So in light of that slightly tangental piece, make pasta! Make this pasta! Bliss out!