“I told Jim last week if he brought anybody home for dinner without warning me again he would be sorry, Margaret. I tried to warn him.
And he did it, Tuesday night, no less. Yes, after I had to spend all day with Betty working on the inventory for the church tagsale and then meet with Mark’s homeroom teacher. You know he’s been caught with the other boys smoking behind the backstop again. When he should be in class. I have had it up to here with his nonsense!
Anyway, so there I am with a sulky 15 year old, walking through the back door and I hear Jim in the front room laughing! Him and all the boys from the office! And he calls out, ‘Is that you, honey? When is dinner?’
Oh Margaret, I about had a fit. But I said to myself, ‘Francine, get ahold of yourself, don’t pop off. Teach him a lesson.’
And his lesson was a dozen hot dogs, stuffed with sliced pickles, bathing in a whole jar of BBQ sauce. With a side of old rice I had laying in the fridge from the other night.
I glided into the dining room, dropped it on the table in front of them, then marched over to the wetbar, poured myself a great big, gorgeous Scotch, and said, ‘Bon Apetit, Gentlemen’ and then went upstairs to take a hot bath.
... and the best part is I never even heated it up.”
Please. Spill how you helped ignite the absolutely fabulous Rebecca fic Olivie posted!
Hi there Anon,
@olivieblake and I share a love of Daphne du Maurier’s Rebecca, but more specifically, a fascination with her titular character. I had the idea to write a nonfiction piece about it, and very much like she does in the book, Rebecca took control of my essay. The essay centers on the many different versions of Rebecca we see through the lens of other characters, her relationship with Manderley itself, and the details of her death. I sent the working draft to Olivie, and she honed in on the section about Max and his marriage to Rebecca. Thus, the spark for “Your Love (Déjà Vu).” The essay isn’t posted/published anywhere yet, but when it is, I will link it here and on my bookstagram.
I am officially trash posting as a reminder to myself of why I need to stick to my guts and do the right thing for me…not let myself fall prey to his charm again and find myself in the exact same situation a year from now, when I could have been doing something different that actually makes me happy. You have to remind yourself of the toxic things and toxic people whom you must free yourself from, in order to actually free yourself. Toxic is contagious.
If you allow the toxic situation to persist, it takes over your entire life…everything becomes toxic, even you. It becomes an addiction, the toxic behavior. A bad behavior becomes an addiction. The longer you partake, the more difficult it is to break.
I am addicted to the relationship I have with my husband, but the relationship I have with my husband is no longer beneficial to my wellbeing. It’s like being addicted to cigarettes, when I know good and well that cigarettes are not beneficial to my wellbeing and could eventually kill me. Same with a toxic relationship.
Anything toxic in high quantities for extended periods of time will kill you. We wouldn’t breathe carbon monoxide, so why do we stay in bad marriages?
June 24, 2019 - Once again, leave this gaslighting asshole.
Q. My husband’s ex won’t leave: When I met my husband 10 years ago, he had been divorced for two years. “Lindy” turned into a party girl after their divorce. Never around for the kids and very flaky. We have custody of their two children. Lindy was out of the picture for years, but she reemerged and texted my husband. She says she’s changed her focus in life and is getting herself together. She told my husband that she’s moving to Australia to start a new job and new healthy life. A few weeks later, I come home from work and find Lindy in my house having a glass of wine. My husband took me aside and told me that Lindy will be staying in our guest room for three weeks. He said her lease was up and this arrangement is temporary, and it will help her to save money until she leaves for Australia. I was upset that he didn’t consult me on it, but I let it go.
It’s now three months later and Lindy’s “job” keeps getting pushed back. I don’t think it ever existed. The worst part is I feel totally pushed out of my own family. My husband works from home so he is hanging around all day with his ex. I come home from work to find my husband sitting down with Lindy (and sometimes the kids), having dinner that she made, laughing at their old jokes, and having a wonderful time. Lindy also does my husband’s laundry, then says, “You are so busy. I don’t mind.” But I do! My stepdaughter has always had a picture of her mom in her bedroom, which is fine with me, but now it’s in our living room! And the last straw—I came home and found my husband in bed reading, as Lindy was organizing our closet! “It’s such a mess. Let me help.” My skin crawls at the thought of her looking through all my things.
I’ve spoken to my husband and he says it’s cute that I’m being jealous. He also said that he’s not going to put the mother of his children out on the street, nor pay for a motel. I want her out of my life and my husband and stepkids back, and my husband is doing nothing about it. I don’t know how much longer I can hang on, and I’m thinking that’s what she wants—to slip into my life as I slam the door behind me. Help, please.
Dear Wife,
Leave!
First of all, I can guarantee Lindy doesn’t have an offer in Australia, it doesn’t work that way when it comes to work and visas, one visit to their immigration website will tell you that. Lindy is a fucking liar who is looking to hook back up with her ex because she needs him and he’s a fucking idiot.
Oh, his little, “It’s cute” comment? I would have smacked the taste out of his mouth for that gaslighting bullshit.
You two have him in the catbird seat. All the chores are getting done as the two women compete to do everything to please him and he just has to put his feet up and read.
If he wants her back so badly, he can have her. Don’t be stupid, he doesn’t show any real sign of loving you here. You were the mother to his kids he needed at the time, but he doesn’t seem to give a shit about your feelings at all.
You know what happened when one of Mr. Bitch’s friends went after me? Mr. Bitch shut him down, shut him up, and cut all contact. Because you don’t let people abuse the person you love. He’s letting her abuse you and in your own home? Fuck no.
Start documenting things about when she moved in, etc. Wait until times when you can get stuff out of the house to a storage unit or to your parents, whatever. If you have private accounts, move money into them. Get a private account if you can. Don’t take more than half, that looks bad in court.
Start seeing a lawyer about alienation of affection, that sort of thing and make a plan for the best way to leave him.
Look, you may not want to have to start over, but look at this. This supposedly healthy reformed woman and mother of his kids, who is still drinking btw, has moved into your house. She’s still lying and cheating, and being a fool. If he wants her so badly, let her have him and she’ll ruin his life again. Why work to defend a relationship that he won’t work to defend? C’mon, get a sense of self respect! You’re better off alone than uncomfortable and picked on in your own space. I mean, would you rather come home and find them fucking and have him be like “Oh honey, it’s cute that you’re jealous - she’s just taking on some wifely duties since you’re working so much!”
Get your affairs in order and get out. If he wants to be a dumbass, let him be a dumbass - with half his stuff.
Of this era which thou hast given, I much prefer 10 Things I Hate about You or She's the Man. As Shakespeare's tales find themselves preserved, though need'st not, but films work for thy modern time, though weaker and never stand again'st the original.
As a whole it is a genre I much prefer as against loneliness and unhappiness a great remedy these films provide. A True preference for companionship and good company need in a marriage which sates the burning desires the film'd leads do find. And In pints of ice cream too I enjoy while watching if my wife hast fled to family.
Yet another poem dedicated to my ex-wife, who was truly a nasty piece of work. Here is the content:
You did your best to wreck my life
So happy was I, when you became my wife
However, you betrayed me in a manner
Which left deep scars
After our separation
I almost went into a state of depression
For a fucking two months
You were really a monster!
You did your best to wreck my life
By…
A good friend of mine has been married 15 years to a guy that has developed a gambling and drinking problem. He blames her, makes her feel miserable, and even missed her mother's funeral. He took money from their children's saving accounts and opened a credit card in her name. Over the last year he has drained their account randomly for approximately $15,000.
Why doesn't she leave him? Why doesn't she kick him out? She says that she is worried he will have nowhere to go, her kids need their father, that she will lose her kids and he'll get them somehow. I understand a little bit, but she is letting her daughter think it is ok to have her husband treat her that way. Her son thinks this is how a man can treat his wife. They are not learning boundaries, her husband has zero consequences other than no more sex. And she is abjectly miserable.
Why doesn't she kick him out? She can provide for the kids, she wouldn't lose the house, and she would stop having this *stress* !
