Summary: Natasha x Reader are in a relationship. But Natasha starts to pull away. Flirting with another team member. She crosses a line and loses the reader. When the reader returns, will Natasha get a second chance? Or is it too little too late?
Have you ever felt the urge to just stay in bed?
Felt like the alternative is just too daunting to even conceive…
That is how Y/N has felt for the last six months.
Not to say that Y/N’s life was perfect before.
But these last six months just doesn’t seem to be worth it.
Two years ago, this was a different story.
Y/N had started dating the one and only Natasha Romanoff.
Everything was going great.
The both of you planned cute little dates in secluded locations, met for lunches and coffee breaks, planned outings around each other’s schedules, prepared for missions together, and trained together. Most importantly you both were there for each other.
Y/N was warned by her co-workers not to get involved with the Avenger.
That she had something already going with a teammate.
Back then Y/N didn’t listen.
How could Y/N turn Natasha away, when she asked Y/N to dinner one stormy afternoon? Those green eyes shining with mischief and anxiety while she awaited Y/N’s answer.
Natasha told y/n from the very beginning that she wasn’t interested in anyone else. That there were rumors about her because she is constantly surrounded by Alpha Males. It was always misconstrued that she must be dating one of them. That the public saw a story of the all-American hero’s getting the girl.
Why wouldn’t she. That was then…
However, Y/N started to see a different side to Natasha when Y/N got transferred to the Avenger’s strike team. Y/N relocated from her regular S.H.I.E.L.D. extraction group that she led.
That was a little over eight months ago.
Y/N thought the transition would bring Natasha and her closer.
Y/N was born with the ability to create a physical shield around herself and others. It also made her skin impenetrable.
The mutation made Y/N one of the original candidates for the Avengers. The offer was declined because Y/N didn’t want to be in the spotlight.
Over the years Y/N had worked with the Avengers in small doses prior to the transfer. There wasn’t a lot of one-on-one interaction.
What Y/N did notice was…They always had this aura though. Y/N couldn’t pinpoint what it was until it was too late.
Clint was always to over involved in Y/N’s relationship. Y/N let it pass because that was Nat’s best friend. But it’s gotten to the point that he acts like he has a right to feel threatened. Like he is the only one allowed to be so close to her.
Y/N and Wanda never really disliked each other but they didn’t go out of each other’s way to hang out.
Vision followed Wanda’s lead. Enough said.
Bruce was constantly sending longing glances Natasha’s way and glares over to Y/N. What really took the cake was last night.
Bucky & Sam were always flirting openly with Natasha. Something that she didn’t discourage.
Telling Y/N that it was all harmless.
Steve by far is the worst.
Apparently before we started dating Natasha had been fairly close to Steve. The group thought the two were dating type close. He automatically had it out for Y/N. He had even said point blank to Y/N’s face ‘Why would she choose you?’
Steve really can’t let anything, or anyone go.
Tony was a delight. Y/N and Tony felt like two outsiders. Always called into action and expected to perform perfectly. If there is some sort of silver lining from this whole experience, it’s Y/N’s friendship with Tony Stark.
Natasha well… Y/N had never been so disappointed in her life.
Once Y/N was transferred, she found herself on missions at an alarming rate. It seemed that once she returned, she was being called right back out. These types of missions weren’t even her specialty. There was no real reason for her to go. Other than the fact that Steve kept assigning them to her.
Y/N could deal with the lack of sleep, the beaten down body and the snide remarks from the Avengers as long as Natasha was there upon her return.
Nevertheless, after two months of the same routine, Y/N had noticed Natasha pulling away. It was little things at first. Then came the missed dates. The empty bed. Natasha hasn’t touched Y/N in six months. Not even a friendly pat on the shoulder.
What does Natasha do you may ask?
She sleeps in her own room now, she stopped sitting next to Y/N during meals, no more training sessions, no more cuddles, no more love…
Instead, she seems to be giving that all away to Steve.
It all reached its boiling point last night.
“Y/N had just walked out of the med bay after Banner refused her treatment.
Y/N might have bullet proof skin. But her body can still break down when exhaustion hits. Bones can still crack.
Banner didn’t even have the time to look up from his ipad. Upon entering the exam room, he stated that he couldn’t help Y/N. That she should just go to bed.
After that Y/N stumbled out of med bay.
Y/N was already fuming when she entered the lounge area on her way back to her room.
Y/N paused when she, heard laughing. A breathy laugh that Y/N would recognize anywhere. The flirty laugh that Y/N thought was only reserved for her.
But here she was in the shadows.
Natasha on the couch with Steve, her giggling while he was planting small kisses on Nat’s neck.
Y/N would like to say that she was surprised by this turn of events but that would be a lie. She wasn’t stupid. She had noticed the two getting closer.
Y/N put on her best resting Bitch-Face before clearing her throat.
‘Is this what you’ve been doing while I’ve been away this whole time?’
The two Avengers nearly snap their own necks with how fast they turned their heads. Natasha’s face had turned pale. She slowly extracts herself from Steve’s arms as she stands.
Y/N holds up her hand to stop whatever excuse is about to leave Natasha’s mouth. ‘I don’t want to hear it. I tried to be patient with you and everyone here’
Y/N shakes her head. Giving Steve and then Nat a pointed look before stating ‘You’re just not worth the effort any longer.’
Natasha started saying something. Y/N could no longer hear any of the words coming out of Nat’s mouth. She no longer cares, and her heart is pounding so loudly in her ears. Whatever love she had for Nat is completely gone. Honestly it started diminishing when Natasha started turning a blind eye to the behavior of the team towards Y/N. Along with her encouraging whatever relationship Steve and her had going on.
Y/N turns around and starts heading out of the room. But before she clears the doorway Y/N looks back at Natasha.
‘If it wasn’t clear before.’
Gesturing between the two of them while standing a crossed from each other.
And with that Y/N left the red head. She can still hear Natasha calling out to her. But she is just too tired to care.”
After last night Y/N knows that she can no longer stay here.
Y/N had been planning on transferring for a while. But had held off because of her relationship.
That doesn’t mean she didn’t start gathering intel and making plans for herself.
With a little help from Tony and Friday, Y/N was able to gather enough evidence.
Y/N gets to leave the Avengers with a giant F U.
And with that Y/N starts her day with a little smile.
Three Days Later – Avenger’s Compound
Tony is sitting at the head of the table as the rest of the team trickles in. On his left side are two lawyers and on his right side is Fury. Hill is standing not too far away but still off to the side just behind Fury. A few agents are hanging around outside of the room and security has moved closer to the conference room as a precaution.
He knows that this is going to be an unpleasant meeting for most of the group. But it isn’t undeserving.
Still a little too late, truth be told.
What they put Y/N through was uncalled for. Professionalism was out the window. He was sorry to see her go but he couldn’t really blame her for leaving.
This team had become toxic and entitled.
This event may be the change that is needed to wake everyone up.
The spider is the last to arrive. Slinking into her seat next to Barton and the furthest away from Steve.
Possible trouble in those still waters.
Tony is just here for the show and tell portion of the meeting.
The real performers will be the two lawyers and Fury.
Rogers sits straight on the opposite end of the table. Flanked by Barnes and Wilson.
Everyone is looking around the room.
Most likely wondering why we have two newcomers.
They don’t have to wait long when… Fury raps his knuckles on the table to gain everyone’s attention. ‘Before I begin Mr. Burnes and Mrs. White have a few things to hand out to a few members. Without further ado we should begin with Mrs. White.’ With a lift of the chin Fury directs his attention to the female lawyer.
The middle-aged attorney introduces herself as a representative of the Board of Medicine for the State of New York. She grabs a stack of papers and sets them in front of Banner before beginning.
‘Mr. Banner it has come to our attention that you have withheld care from a patient, this is in direct violation of your Hippocratic Oath that you vowed upon completion of becoming an active medical physician.’
‘Due to your neglect a patient was not diagnosed. And could have been suffering grave injuries.’ She pauses briefly before proceeding, ‘Furthermore, I am here to inform you that an investigation is pending to review your actions.’
Nobody in the room dared to interrupt the woman while she spoke. Tony could see a lot of confusion on the faces of the team.
They didn’t have a clue what she was talking about.
It’s a shame that everyone was so self-involved to have not realized a teammate was in pain and hurt on multiple occasions.
‘While we gather our evidence for the case, I am officially serving you with documentation stating that until our investigation reaches a not guilty verdict you are hereby suspended from practicing medicine in the state of New York.’
‘If you are found guilty. Then your license to practice will be revoke’
Bruce has turned slightly green in the face. Fury and Hill moved their hands under their coats most likely to grab some sort of tranquilizer gun.
Tony also started playing with his gauntlet.
Bruce looks up to Mrs. White with an unbelievable look on his face while he asks ‘Who exactly did I not diagnose?’
Mrs. White sends a shark like smile Banner’s way and says ‘Come now, Mister Banner. That will violate confidentiality and patient privilege.’
Mrs. White waves a hand at the documents in front of Banner, before continuing…
‘If this does go to trial then you will have a right to face your accuser.’
‘That now concludes our business regarding the Medical Board.’ She picks up her briefcase before nodding her head to Fury and her fellow attorney.
After a few silent moments for Brucey-Bear, he seems to have calm down from his near Hulk-Out. He still has a pale-green tint to his face though. But it doesn’t look like he’s about to erupt.
Fury points to attorney number two.
Now this will be Tony’s favorite.
A man in his late sixties stands.
‘Good Afternoon Avengers. I am Mr. Burnes’ he says as he moves around the table.
He’s moving counter clockwise and away from the team physically.
‘I am an Attorney working in the Human Resource and Legal Department of the Avenger Initiative.’
He raises the pitch of his voice before continuing. ‘Contrary to popular belief the Avengers are like any other employee or employer. You each receive a pay check, medical, retirement and a human resource packet upon joining the Initiative. In this packet Equal Rights of the Employees was a clear document that you all would have sign. Along with a professional conduct clause.’
‘Evidence has come to our department regarding a very serious matter.’ ‘Abuse of Power, misuse of one’s authority over others, hazing violation, harassment and lastly physical & verbal abuse.’
You could hear a pin drop in the conference room.
It took 30 seconds for the team to process what was just relayed before the explosions started.
After a few minutes. Tony looks down and notices that it’s been close to five minutes since the shouting started.
Steve leads the charge. Practically jumping over the table. ‘What evidence?’
Mr. Burnes turned to Tony and motioned to the projector in the middle of the table.
‘Ladies and Gentleman. I typically wouldn’t play such evidence but I have gotten permission from the abusee. It has also been publicly shared within the S.H.I.E.L.D. agency since they took part in the investigation.’
‘Mind you this isn’t all the evidence, just a small taste’
And with that Tony hit the play button on his tablet.
‘What the videos showed was the complete disrespect Y/N had to endure while on the team.
Snide, petty remarks from Clint, Barnes and Wilson.
Wanda and Vision looking the other way when Y/N was getting harassed.
Y/N being clearly uncomfortable.
Steve assigning mission after mission. The dates displayed on each assignment. Clearly showing the none existent down time.
Bucky and Wilson sabotaging Y/N’s gear prior to missions.
Bruce ignoring Y/N groaning in pain when he was the mission’s doctor.
Natasha doesn’t say a word through all of the footage as she witnesses the treatment of Y/N. Looking the other way every time Y/N enters the room.
Natasha joking around with Bucky, Sam and Clint after they practically destroy Y/N verbally.
The final frame is a clip of Steve bragging to Bucky that he has kept Y/N away long enough now. That Natasha was his girl again or about to be. Practically tickled pink when describing the last couple of dates, he’s had with Natasha while Y/N had been gone.’
As the projector slides back into the table.
The room is completely silent.
Wanda and Vision have their heads down in shame.
Clint has locked his jaw, still gazing straight ahead.
Wilson and Barnes aren’t making eye contact with anyone else in the room
Steve’s face has turned bright red. From anger or embarrassment, Tony can’t tell.
Mr. Burnes explains to the rest of the team that these incidences are under investigation. Due to what his department has gathered so far, each member of the team is now under review.
Additional group class or reeducation for the team has been ordered. Possible lawsuits due to the violations could be a potential result. Burnes continues on and describes why each and every one of these actions is a violation of the Avengers code of conduct. Also, if pushed criminal charges could be brought against the team.
With that Burnes hits the bricks.
As the door closes behind Burnes. Fury throws a folder into the middle of the table.
‘Regrettably I’m to inform the group that Agent Y/N has resigned from the Avenger Initiative.’
‘It isn’t very surprising considering what was shown’
Fury turns his one eye to Steve and states ‘Rogers you are no longer team lead’
Steve stands up to argue. ‘This is my team. I have always led it...’
Fury cuts him off and glares him down
‘You can’t be trusted to lead a team any longer. What you did to Y/N violated the position that you were placed in. You could have gotten her killed countless times. The reason for your neglect and actions was to move in on her girlfriend.’
Fury sits down and leans back and states clearly
‘Your judgement is compromised. And since the lot of you can’t act like adults then I’ll treat you like the children that you are.’
‘A new field commander will be selected if necessary. Until then Agent Hill will now lead the team from command. All decisions regarding tactics and personnel will now be filtered through her, and her alone. Out on the field, Stark will take lead.’
‘S.H.I.E.L.D. will also be reviewing the team members for possible alternative placements.’
Fury and Hill share a look.
Hill continues on ‘The team is suspended while the pending review.’
‘Most likely you will all remain on the team’
She looks at the agents right outside the door ‘Y/N is very much a beloved agent. She saved a lot of agents over the years. The inner agency now knows what was done to her. So don’t expect a pleasant greeting.’
… ‘You are all dismissed’
With a flare Tony smoothly stands up and breezes out of the room. He makes a mental note to send a copy of the meeting to Y/N.
That should provide some entertainment.
A Few Days Later – At the Compound
Another lab day for Tony. These have been happening a lot recently. Being around the team has been intolerable.
Maybe a vacation is in order.
In the middle of tinkering with a new helmet prototype, Tony hears the lab doors open.
He finishes up before spinning around, having expected to see Vision. Tony nearly falls out of his chair when it’s Natasha standing in front of him.
She is wearing a hooded sweatshirt and pajama bottoms. Her hair is a mess and she has bags under her eyes. He is also pretty sure that she smells but has no urge to get any closer to her to verify that theory.
After a few awkward seconds Tony breaks the silence ‘What are you doing down here Romanoff?’
She shuffles around in place. Stuffing her hands in her hooded pockets before asking ‘Do you know where she is?’
Tony lets out a cruel laugh. ‘Of course, I do.’
‘I am her friend Afterall’
Natasha nods her head because she knows that it’s true. Tony was the only member of the team that gave you a chance. The only one that treated you decently.
While everyone else was either giving you a cold shoulder or going out of their way to make your life hard. Y/N had retreated to Tony’s lab for comfort. Comfort that Nat should have been providing.
Only if she wasn’t a coward.
She had fallen back into old habits. Bad habits.
You were just so giving with your love, time, and affection.
Natasha didn’t know how to accept such dedication.
When Y/N first joined the team, she had seen some of the looks you received, heard the comments and knew that Y/N was putting up with all of that in order to be closer to Natasha. Y/N was so patient with those around her. And none of them were deserving.
Natasha knew that you would have stuck it out.
She needed to push you away, in order to save you from herself.
She looked the other way. She was distant, neglectful and just plain mean and uncaring in her outward appearance.
Natasha started flirting again in order to deliver the final push.
She never expected Steve to eat it up and run with it.
Looking back on it maybe she should have seen Steve for the man he truly was.
Years ago, he would stutter and turn red when she was flirting with him. No relationship ever came out of anything. The kiss at the mall while hiding from Hydra was the most physical intimate moment that they ever had together.
Imagine Natasha’s surprise that night in the lounge. It had started getting out of hand, slowly but steadily. She had of course noticed that Steve was eating up the attention. He would puff up every time Y/N would enter the room. Almost like he had won a prize. Natasha knew she should have cut it off a long time ago. Regret and Shame kept her going. In her head her actions just proved how toxic she was. And her intentions were true. She was saving Y/N after all.
That night she had just started to get uncomfortable and was about to shove off of the couch when Steve started kissing her on the neck. The only thing she could do was release a nervous giggle.
She should have known there was a line that had been crossed. A line that once crossed she couldn’t return from.
When she finally realized this, it had already been too late for Natasha.
Y/N had seen the position, and that was the end. With everything else going on, she could see the once love in Y/N’s eyes were no longer reflected towards her.
Natasha would never cheat. But what argument did she have with you.
She had been flirting for months. Allowed Steve to believe he could get that close. Allowed Steve to kiss her on the neck. Stopped sharing a space, left the room they had occupied. Changed her schedule in order to make it easier to avoid Y/N. Went out of her way to appear close with Steve. Allowed the others to put Y/N down, to abuse Y/N. Allowed the others the chance to get in-between their relationship.
And she did this in some misguided attempt to protect Y/N.
But none of it was worth losing you.
Now it’s too late. You had left. And you are in a better place for sure. Because any place has to be better for Y/N than here.
‘I just want to know that she is alright’
Tony studies her for a minute, before Natasha says ‘I don’t deserve to know where she is but I just want to know that she is alright, somewhere safe.’
Tony shakes his head ‘Why should I tell you anything Romanoff.’
‘You were the worst one out of everyone to Y/N.’
‘You were the one in a relationship with Y/N. Just to turn around and practically throw yourself at Rogers.’
Natasha starts to get teary eyed and says ‘Don’t you think I know that. I was doing it for her.’
‘BULL SHIT, Natasha. How was anything that you did for her’
He points a finger at Natasha and states ‘Everything that you did was for yourself!’
She backs up a few paces.
‘I didn’t deserve her and will never deserve her. The team didn’t deserve her.’
Turning to leave. Knowing Tony isn’t going to help her.
‘Have you ever heard of a self-fulfilling prophecy?’
‘You need help Natasha. If you ever want to be ready for a love such as the one Y/N gave you. Then you need some professional help if you ever thought what you did was for her.’
She doesn’t have any response to that.
Y/N wakes with a fist to the mouth.
Jolting further when the sun hits her face.
She forgot to close the blinds in her new room last night.
Looking down at her sleeping companion. She is still in awe at the sight.
Little Rye has been the light of her life since she laid eyes on the little brunette.
‘A year ago, Y/N was performing a search and siege of a known hostile human trafficking ring in Eastern Europe. The ring was working out of an old abandoned apartment building.
Once all of the combatants were taken down, y/n began to assess the victims.
The ring’s cycle for the children was to ship off the smaller ones to underground testing facilities or child predatory rings. The older children were being relocated to prostitution rings around the continent.
After transferring out of the Avengers, Y/N joined a collaborative cross agency endeavor. The group is made up of S.H.I.E.L.D., MI6, CIA, Military and other agencies. The purpose of the group is to investigate, track and eventually take down crime rings that cross between borders. The investigations usually center around drug & arms smuggling, human trafficking, child pornography rings, terroristic groups and other large-scale crime syndicates.
A broken-down apartment is where I met Rye. She was the baby of a teen prostitute that died in child birth. The leaders of the ring didn’t see the purpose of bringing in a doctor while the mother went through birthing her baby, and she soon bled out.
Little Rye was being cycled back into the dark and violent ring.
I had scooped the little squirming infant up into my arms as we were clearing out the building. She was just a few days old. Still alive against all odds. But she was so small and barely moved in Y/N’s arms.
When she opened her eyes and looked up at me that first night. I knew I was hooked.
I didn’t have the heart to pass her to another agent. I could never claim to have had a particularly Motherly instinct embedded in me.
But Rye shot me like a bolt of lightning when our eyes connected. A buried natural instinct to nurture and protect was awakened.
There was no way I could part with her.
I wanted to protect her, love her and watch her grow.
She became my world. And I became hers.
I made a vow to always put her first later that night.’
Which brings Y/N to her newest transfer.
It was a hard decision. Y/N loved her work with the collaboration teams. It was her place, she belonged there, and she was making a difference.
But with little Rye now being in her life, she couldn’t take the long hours and traveling away from home.
So, with a heavy heart Y/N started looking for employment elsewhere.
In the end Tony came through for her.
They had remained close even after Y/N left the Avengers. Y/N was even the godmother to Tony’s daughter Morgan.
Tony and Y/N had bonded further over the years over the mutual venting sessions about the Avengers.
Tony had provided updates over the years and a lot had changed with the Avengers since Y/N left.
Steve was no longer the team lead.
He could never shake the fact that he had risked Y/N’s life for his own selfish desires. The S.H.I.E.L.D. strike teams refused to work with the captain. The trust between the captain and agents had been burned one too many times. Leaving him with partaking in Avenger related, world ending missions only.
Bucky & Wilson were both selected to transition to support roles, search & rescue and the occasional raid. Working alongside STRIKE teams and law enforcement groups.
Clint went back into retirement.
Wanda & Vision hung around the Avengers lifestyle for a few more years but realized they wanted a steady home and peace.
Bruce was found guilty of patient neglect and his medical license to practice was revoked. He still remained on as a scientist. Research and development only. He is no longer allowed to work with or on humans in any medical capacity.
Natasha had taken Tony’s words to heart and went into therapy. She didn’t really go out on missions any longer unless absolutely necessary. She now dedicates her time with her sister and training the new generation of Avengers.
Tony had finally married Pepper and had a beautiful baby girl. It’s safe to say that his Avenging days are over. The public can still see him promoting the next generation. He has taken on a mentorship role within the group.
During Y/N’s job search Tony put a plan together to bring Y/N closer and provided a new alternative with a different technical related combat job.
He knew Y/N would work any job available but wouldn’t be happy with just a normal job. Still being heavily involved with the development of the New Avengers allowed him to create an opening that would fit Y/N’s skill set.
The job included all of the benefits of working normal office hours, and coordinating the execution phase of a mission. Making sure that all of the T’s are crossed before deployment.
It was a perfect fit for Y/N.
The only downside being that it required relocation to New York in order to work out of the compound.
And putting Y/N into direct contact with the original Avengers when the missions required their presence.
Y/N would be working along side Assistant Director Hill for the most part, presenting mission plans to the team during staging.
After years of reflection Y/N had come to the conclusion that the original Avengers were just a bunch of insecure and petty individuals.
Clint felt threated by Y/N’s role in Natasha’s life so he took it out on Y/N. He made it his mission to get between Y/N’s relationship by inserting himself in every aspect. The snide comments became harsher the longer the relationship lasted.
Wilson & Barnes were practically Rogers’ shadows & cheerleaders. Natasha being with Y/N had thrown a wrench in Steve’s ideology of him being right & good. And the good man always gets the girl. With that thinking Y/N must have been the problem that needed to go. Assaulting Y/N physically and verbally should have never been a step for either of them.
Bucky had been emotionally stunted for years as the Winter Soldier. He relied on Steve for guidance when it came to morality.
Sam had little excuse. He was once a counselor that fell into the trappings of the Legend of Captain America.
Bruce was longing for Natasha to be his. Y/N became an obstacle. He had no ground to stand on. Ignoring Y/N altogether was the solution in his mind.
Wanda & Vision didn’t want to make waves or be seen as going against the majority within the team.
Steve wanted Natasha no matter the cost. Selfishly putting others at risk.
Lastly, Natasha didn’t know what she wanted. Instead of ending things she chose to play a game.
Y/N would like to say that she is a forgiving person but in all actuality she’s not. The team never really gave her a chance and each of them contributed to a very dark spot in her life.
That’s not saying that Y/N isn’t going to be professional when at work. Just not friendly. She doesn’t plan on going out of her way to interact with any of them.
Today is Y/N’s first day in the office. She bought a house fairly close to Tony’s and the compound.
Rye was still getting used to the new environment so she has been extra clingy since the move.
She’ll be spending the day with Morgan & Pepper while Tony and Y/N go into the office for introductions.
Morgan and Pepper adore Rye. Relocating has provided Morgan with a playmate; she couldn’t be happier. Pepper and Tony still rotate SI duties so they alternate the care of Morgan between each other.
Rye should be comfortable with Pepper for the day. Morgan can provide additional distraction.
After getting Rye settled in with the Starks. Y/N & Tony arrive at the compound. Only a few key people knew that Y/N had taken the position and started today. The new lead of the Avengers Carol Danvers, Fury, Hill, Rhodes and the group of agents that will be working under Y/N are the only ones that had been informed of the new hire.
Y/N made Tony and Hill relay the history between Y/N and the old Avengers before taking the job. She didn’t want any surprises to arise later. Danvers was very understanding of the situation and stated that her leadership style was completely different. And the past conflict between Y/N and the original group wouldn’t become an issue.
The original members didn’t have an overwhelming role any longer. In the event that the original members still carried animosity towards Y/N then a different mission coordinator or member could be swapped.
As Y/N walks the halls of the new compound she doesn’t feel nostalgic like she thought she would. The compound is so different than it was before. The new design is more in line with a combat training academy than the Avenger’s only training facility and housing.
It had the feel of a learning campus verse a members’ only frat house.
Two Weeks Later – Avengers Compound
Yelena came crashing inside Natasha’s apartment with Fanny hot on her heals.
Natasha just sits back while the chaos factory whirls around the room.
It’s sisters’ night now that Yelena has returned from her mission after being away for a little more than three weeks. With a leash in one hand and a bag of food in the other Yelena finally spots Natasha with her book on the couch.
This is a new routine for Natasha.
Part of her therapy was finding closure with her past.
A large portion of her guilt centered around abandoning Yelena all those years ago when she defected to SHIELD. Leaving her behind.
It took some time but Yelena eventually forgave Natasha. Yelena still holds some insecurities. The cracks will always be there but at least those cracks have been patched.
Natasha over time changed her relationships.
She had gotten into the habit of relying on others for emotional direction. Clint was her compass since the very beginning. That granted Clint with a lot of longitude. It put a lot of pressure on Clint always trying to guide Natasha in his mind. When Natasha started relying on him less over the years, he became almost territorial, possessive of his role. Instead of being encouraging he would be unsupportive or indifferent. Laura and Natasha had to sit down with him and explain that boundaries needed to be set. But Clint would always have a special place in Natasha’s life. He would always be her best friend.
Tony and Natasha had become a little more friendly over the years but it never went anywhere beyond polite inquires or small talk.
Natasha refused to speak to Bruce for a long time. Him withholding treatment from Y/N just propelled Natasha into an ocean of guilt and anger at herself. How many times had Y/N been hurt and Natasha didn’t even notice? A spy didn’t notice when her girlfriend was in physical pain.
When she finally confronted Bruce regarding his failure to do his job. She found out that the core of the withholding of treatment was his feelings and hopefulness towards Natasha and his relationship progression.
Which is another thing Natasha blames herself for. She flirted with everyone on the team. With the exception of Vision. That was her MO. That was what was always expected of her. The famous Black Widow, sexy, alluring, flirty, she was every man’s fantasy. And sadly, she fell into her own hype, the myth of the Black Widow. People had expected these traits from her, and she met those expectations. She would flirt, touch, and wink at all of the men and women in the near vicinity. She played a points game in her head. 1 pt for a blush, 1 pt for a stutter, 2 pts for a nervous look around, 5 pts if they stumble away and 10 pts if they try to ask her out.
When she was in relationships, she would try to key it down, however that shadow of the widow persona was always there.
The trend though was when she started to get comfortable in a relationship then the flirt would come out to drive a wedge. Every time it was the same pattern.
This also caused issues with Barnes and Wilson. Both would eat up her attention. Both were natural flirts. Both felt more manly flirting with a pretty woman. Both didn’t know when to stop. And both were eventually set straight regarding there comments and behavior.
The sabotaging of gear in the past now requires each member to have special permission to enter the equipment room or armory.
What really cause a change in them both was relocation of each. Without Rogers to hide behind they both had to grow up.
Still tried to pursue a relationship with Natasha after Y/N left.
He just couldn’t understand that she didn’t want him. A hot-blooded, strong, attractive male.
It was the worse mistake of my life entrusting anything to Rogers. Without the leadership role in the Avengers. Steve attempted to lead a different group without much success. With Danvers we had a capable team lead and with-it Steve’s chance of returning to a lead position within the Avengers were crushed.
Natasha and Steve had an all-out fight after Y/N left once everything came to light. They had to be physically separated.
Steve originally tried to play that it was all taken out of context, but with all the mission logs as further evidence there wasn’t much weight to his argument.
Over the years Natasha has thought about reaching out to Y/N. To try and be at least a part of her life in some way and apologize for the mistakes that she had made in their relationship.
They were friends and co-workers before becoming lovers. Natasha found relief in knowing that Y/N was doing well.
Y/N had found something deserving in Natasha years ago. It was Natasha that had proved that wrong with her actions. Who was she to question Y/N. Y/N was one of the most intelligent people that Natasha had ever known. Instead of voicing her doubts. Natasha actively found ways of pushing Y/N away. And because of this Natasha will always wonder what could have been.
What would have happened if she was brave? If she had set boundaries? If she stood up for Y/N? If she looked deeper? If she didn’t find a need to flirt? If she just let herself feel love and return that love without fear? If she let go of the fabrication of the Black Widow persona? If she didn’t take things too far?
What could have been between them?
Would they be retired, living in a home together? Would you had been married by now? Would you have been happy with Natasha? Would you and Yelena become friends?
What would have happened to the team? Would they have still took out there frustrations out on Y/N, if Natasha had put her foot down? Or would they have just circumvented Natasha in order to get too you?
Natasha hasn’t been able to completely move on from Y/N.
She has attempted to date others over the last five years but nothing ever lasted longer than a few dates. No one was measuring up in her mind.
She had a taste of the closest thing to perfect in a relationship.
A relationship that started as co-workers, leading to friends and them finally progressing into lovers. The relationship had been near seamless. The two of you just fit together. Over the years of knowing each other, the relationship had a deep mutual understanding. You both understood the long hours, the distance after a hard mission, the need to hide in work or training and the reluctance to being intimate. Y/N never pushed the boundaries, she allowed Natasha to go at her own pace.
Y/N didn’t see Natasha as an object to be desired. But as a person just needing support and love. Y/N had loved Natasha so deeply. And Natasha had loved Y/N before she even realized that love was even what she was feeling. Maybe that was the seed that would lead to Natasha’s downfall.
It was hard to pin point when it had all started. Self-worth was something that Natasha didn’t believe that she was lacking. She was strong and capable in the field. However, when it came to her personal self-worth, she was in the negative.
After years of being shaped into an object to be used, directed, and wanted. Natasha wasn’t ready to be her own person in matters of the heart. Love and companionship weren’t something that Natasha felt that she deserved. Happiness was something unattainable to Natasha.
Therapy helped Natasha find the root of her self-worth issues. She believed that the only thing she was truly good at and for was the job she was trained to perform. It had taken many hours before Natasha came to the realization that she deserved happiness and love from others without any ulterior motives. She learned techniques of identifying toxic behavior and traits within herself and her immediate friend group. What to avoid and who to avoid in order to change. It was still a struggle to get into a more positive mindset. Profiling oneself is incredibly hard.
It will be something that she will most likely always struggle with. With the childhood that Natasha experienced. It is not all that surprising.
Yelena being around has also help.
It’s also funny to Natasha that Yelena never really liked Steve or Bucky. Sam is a non-entity to Yelena. And she tolerates Clint for the most part.
Yelena and Clint’s relationship is full of animosity. Yelena feels shorted compared to all of the years that Clint had gotten with Natasha. It also came to light that Clint had known about Yelena from the very beginning and had never encouraged Natasha to seek Yelena out or bridge the relationship.
This all goes through Natasha’s mind while Yelena is chatting her ear off about the new Mission Coordinator that took over the last week of the op.
Natasha finally gets a moment to speak when Yelena starts taking out a pot.
‘What do you mean? Why would the mission change coordinators in the middle of the op and what happen to Turner?’
Yelena stops pouring Noodle’s in the pot before answering ‘We got a new Mission Coordinator, that saw a flaw in the mission extraction plan.’
‘She was able to identify a leak in the data across the crypto coming in.’
Yelena started the stove before adding ‘It shaved off about two additional weeks of the operation anyways, so who am I to complain.’
Natasha nods her head in understanding. After a few years of going undercover and being away from home can be taxing. Especially when Yelena and Natasha have finally found each other again.
Yelena thoughtfully adds ‘Yeah Commander Y/N N/Y is great. She is probably just as straight faced and no-nonsense as Hill or Fury.’
Natasha whips around and coughs out ‘Y/N N/Y’
