#badclients

[saracausey1]

What to do with a Backstabby Client - The Causey Consulting Podcast

There are plenty of articles about backstabbing coworkers, office gossips, and nightmare bosses. But what happens if we as business owners o

There are plenty of articles about backstabbing coworkers, office gossips, and nightmare bosses. But what happens if we as business owners or professional freelancers onboard a client who turns out to be a backstabber or a giant gossip? What then?

My experience with "Billy" the Backstabber taught me some important lessons.

[lectrichead]

Nothing like that feeling of relief after finishing and being done with a job for an annoying entitled ignorant client, so taking an afternoon for a 50 mile celebration ride! #badclients #jeffcobiking #Cervelo #CerveloCaledonia #Cervélo #Cervelobikes #bike #bikes #bicycle #bicycles #biking #cycling #roadbikes #roadbiking #garminedge520plus #strava #cyclist #garmin #roadcycling#Cycliq #cycliqfly6 #cycliqfly #fly6 #50mile https://www.instagram.com/p/ChGKputszRJ/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=

[escapefromadreamingplanet]

Currently ignoring design clients; if you get back to them too soon they just make more changes (for the sake of making changes). #neveranswerthephone #graphicdesign #baddesign #badtaste #badclients #nothere

[embodyblog]

P.S.

Yep, she no-showed. :P

[mrjdwyer]

On Graphic Design

Never work for a "Committee." It is always an effort in futility. Design by committee surely means you've just compromised your soul with some devil and you'll almost certainly feel like you've been baptized in a cesspool of really bad ideas of design mediocrity.

If you ever feel that the work you're doing is in a different league (and by different, I mean better) from what was previously done (even when you have the complete backing of one of the committee members), you're wrong. You'll always be wrong. Someone on said committee will always think they know more than you do and therefore want their awesome design fulfilled. Or they will know a "designer" who knows what they're doing and understand this kind of thing better than you do. And that design will almost always look something like this:

or this:

or this:

or this:

or this:

When working for a Caribbean clientele, the mindset is almost always: make it tacky, tacky and even tackier. It needs to have purple or green or gold. Or all of them at once. And sparkles. A lot of sparkles and lens flare. Lots of bad grammar. Bad photography. Gaudy backgrounds. And there must be women in there. And the women must be scantily clad or overly endowed. Preferably both. There should be overt sexuality. Nothing remotely homophobic though. Straight hedonism is the norm. Because that kind of behavior is as close to divinity as it gets, apparently.

Unless of course you're doing a Beauty Pageant where it's not supposed to look like the above examples, right? Wrong! This is the Carnival Queen Pagent! Why keep it classy? Why try and emphasize that naturally beautiful and smart young women can be in the program and groomed to be these women who will represent the Caribbean and strong women everywhere? No! They don't care about ANY of that!

Class? What the hell is that?!?!? Certainly not anything like this:

They want a ton of really low-rent typefaces with a horizontal scale on it. They want bevelled edges! Lens flares galore! Lots and lots or Purple and gold! Strip-Club-esque backgrounds! In short, they want a combination of the above examples, but make it classy. Not your classy. Our classy. Oh and yes, there is no budget. So let's see if we can steal these images off the web somewhere. No? You won't do that? Copyright images? What's that? I've never heard of that. All the people that I've worked with never mentioned that to us? Pay for photography? Uh-uh. That's cool, we have some great photography you can use. Professional Photographer? No way! I take great photos! Here, let me email them to you."

The photography will always consist of unremarkable, spectacularly poorly cropped amateur snapshots that show "models" revealing true aesthetic wonders like really partially hirsute puffy armpits with lots of of talcum powder and deodorant showing. Hair  chopped off. I could continue, but why bother. Just look at this:

This for a Caribbean Carnival Pageant, mind you. And they want lots of gradients, stars, and more sparkles.

When faced with these examples, what would any designer who has any semblance of self-worth do? 1. Stab yourself repeatedly in the eyes with a rusty ice pick.

2. Cut yourself open with a dull butter knife and hand the client your still-beating heart to squish like Play-Do.

3. Go totally postal on the clients at the meeting, ridding the world of tacky, classless non-thinkers.

4. Say: "I have a better solution" (even though it doesn't involve big boobs and tacky dancehall backgrounds). Here, let me show you," and then proceed to sell your design that has a snowball's chance in hell of being accepted.

5. Tell the Committee (not your friend on the Committee, she's cool) "I'm really sorry, but I cannot and will not dumb down the design any further to appease your mediocre sense of style and class. If you have an alternate designer who can fulfill your "design" needs, then by all means, please use them. I need to remove myself from this abomination at this point. No, no, no. It's ok. It's not me. It's YOU." 

6. Do what they want.

I opted for #5 because I am too old for any of that other shit.

[lawgradlife-blog]

working hours going through clients emails to each other hoping for something to help the case and....

[designerif]

Can you add pictures and colors to the wireframe? = I'm a terrible human being.