barbellsandsuch reblogged your link and added:
I thought long and hard about how to respond to...
First things first, yes I genuinely misunderstood what you were trying to say, and thank you for giving me the break down. Some things that stick out:
"Even if he doesn’t MEAN to make a comment about my primary worth. He still is. This doesn’t make him a bad person, or even a bad friend. It makes him a person who’s unaware of male/female power structure.This makes him a victim of our male dominated culture."
-- You mentioned this is where it gets complicated, and I would say so indeed. At face value I see this as him giving a compliment to your physical image, he used the word tight (which is obviously sexual) so I'll assume that's the primary focus. So it's unwanted sexual attention, not only that, but he TOLD you that he noticed you in a sexual way, rather than in a generalized "Healthy/Strong" way you would have preferred. I can see the connection you're making. If I'm seeing this correctly, then comments about one's image should stay strictly platonic from both sides? How would you respond to someone who gave you a compliment that had a sexual tone to it in real life instead of through a message? I can't say that the people I know would do anything other than maybe a "Thanks", and chalk it up to feeling wanted. Of course I'm not a woman, so does that "Feeling of being wanted" have a fine line? Like "How does he want me? Does he want me enough to do something about it? He's obviously stronger than me, could he rape me?" Is that the brain train that comes from a sexual compliment or am I going too far with that one?
"And yes, he is objectifying me. While it is nice that he took the time out of his day to reach out to me, it would have been nicer if he at least would have asked how I was doing/what I’ve been up to lately before he launched into a review of my body. The fact that he didn’t is objectifying."
That I can understand, if it's the first thing he notices it's almost like you're a piece of meat, instead of an infinitly complex human being with your own personality, goals, and voice. It's a barbaric "Hey... I r see you, and u is has nice butt", if I'm following you correctly?
Well I have to say I've been informed and have had my view expanded, which is exactly why I post the things I do, I give my opinion to the best of my knowledge with the full expectation that I could be totally backwards on it. It's very nice, VERY nice to be informed and actually have my view changed. Very well done. I actually have a little smile on my face. I've been humbled.
