#bariatric babe

[poppeeta]

Second birthday, here we go

[run-kellyy-run]

Time to open up a little. After many failed attempts of losing and gaining weight, hitting the gym 99% of the time, basically starving myself to be in a calorie deficit and it all failing, I decided to undergo VSG surgery. I did all I could before making my decision final. What was going to be a 6 month process I prolonged to 3 years so I could know I was making the right decision. Since surgery I have lost 47 lbs. Weightloss surgery is NOT easy. It has been a tool I have used to help me change myself. I can still gain back all of my weight, I can still over eat, and I can still be lazy and not lose any weight at all. But if done right, you can use WLS as a tool to change your life.

[vividlysecretly-blog]

HEY EVERYBODY

I guess in case anybody comes looking, I should have some kind of post like this I guess! Though I am an enthusiastic and energetic person this is currently forced enthusiasm, because I’m a bit stressed which isn’t very common for me and I don’t really know what to do with it. [why can’t i hold all these limes etc]

Hi, I’m new. I’ve lurked awhile, but I’ve decided to create this tumblr and get more active with the community to keep myself on target with my new lifestyle. Being surrounded by the vibe here helped me get through my pre surgery diets so I know it has power hah. I’m also someone who will pretend something isn’t happening so keeping myself engaged will be better for my everyday, I think? I hope.

I got my sleeve on Dec 12th, 2016 at a start weight of 359 lbs. (It’s surprisingly hard to find other people with start weights that high?) It’s been extremely pleasant this far, no dumping, no sickness, though admittedly I keep to the rules pretty well. When I had my 3 month, I was down to 288, which is niiiiiice and my surgeon is thrilled. I’m about to have my 6 month check up (a month late for scheduling problems aaah) and I’m honestly feeling worried that I’m going to be very disappointed in myself. That’s a dangerous place for me to be. Sometimes I can see so much progress on me, I mean I’m totally different and it’s lovely. Just the same, I hit a bad depression this month and have been less than perfect on my portion sizes. Not terrible, but not good either. (I mean, I’m proud of myself for not just falling back into old habits for the most part!) For example, I can eat my entire Oikos yogurt and a string cheese sometimes, and that’s not terrible but it’s bigger than I should be having. Right? I am pretty sure. ...Right? (btw if I try to measure something I will fall off the fucking wagon so let’s just make that clear. the more automated and natural the better. going slow has been the key to keeping a lifestyle instead of a health kick, and I don’t want to disrupt that balance because I’ve tried and it is not good news for me. why is my brain such an asshole?)

On top of that, I never exercise. Well I mean I do sometimes but for real. I certainly am up and around a thousand times more than I used to be, but other than a solid work out every few weeks, exercise is still very elusive for me mentally. (How do I fix this? I truly want to be better but it feels impossible! I know the key is to do something you like so that you stick with it, and I love riding a bike but I don’t own one and I live in hilly terrain- it’s hard to exercise here in PA, I’m used to SoCal... I’m also dirt poor so I can’t go to the gym or some kind of game court for badminton which I also love...) I don’t own a scale (and I like it that way!) so I don’t know what to expect at my appointment. Part of me feels I’d be thrilled with 250 or around there, but with the small amount of exercise in my life I’d be kinda sure some of it was my lanky muscle mass I’d lost. I used to be quite beefy but wow I’ve lost almost all of it. It’s just a head battle- I know it’s basically impossible that I’ve lost muscle mass when I’ve been so much more active than I was before, but my guilt over no consistent exercise is skewing my ability to see clearly.

I also used to read people’s posts before my surgery, and a lot of them were warning about how sometimes your brain can’t keep up with your changes and you feel exactly the same as before, even when presented with evidence. I have a lot of confidence in my mental clarity so I was like, “pff whatever I can stay objective” but nooooooo hahahah no no no. It’s true, your brain really can’t keep up sometimes. Right now all my clothes barely stay on me (can’t afford new ones lol just gotta rough it) but even then I feel like “well they were big to begin with.” Even though I distinctly remember the 3x pants being tight on me, even though it’s just about falling off me and only my man-killer hips are keeping them up I still can’t stop thinking, “Well I look the same and this 3x still fits me so I can’t be that different.” Even though I know that’s wrong and my brain is fucking with me, I can’t get it to reset and agree with the evidence? It’s wild- anybody reading this who is about to get the surgery please heed this warning- you will have a hard time seeing yourself properly no matter how much mental fortitude you have. I don’t make the rules, man. From what I can tell you just have to completely ignore these thoughts, but yeah that’s a struggle right now, adding to the mounting appointment anxiety.

Side note- I have lost hair. I have only two things to say about that. 1.) I lost a ton for a couple months but it’s slowed down a lot already. 2.) Even if it all falls out and I go bald, it’s worth it. Any pre or new surgery babes worried about hair loss reading this- you’ll feel the same way. Don’t worry about it, just make sure you keep up on your vitamins and protein!

Is this post long enough yet? I don’t know man, I just hope this helps. Thanks for reading anyway? :D

[lizzyxyz]

Can we talk about my progress please?

[madiwls]

Really feeling the most confident I have in my entire life. This surgery was the best decision I have ever made💗💗💗

[msatlantathickdream]

Dragged my butt out the bed,almost skipped my fitness to rush to make my coinage..but my future self,took the wheel,so yup..I am here! Gettin it done. ~Dream~

[msatlantathickdream]

Mirror Monday June 26,2017

[madiwls]

I haven't updated you guys in so long!!! I've been busy with school and I've made new friends and it's been a great two months!!! Not to mention I'm under 200 pounds!!!!!! I officially weigh 195!!!!!! I have not seen this number since middle school. I hope everyone is doing well!? Thanks for the continued love and support. Even if I'm not posting I'm still a viewer and I'm rooting for each and everyone of you, we all deserve success and happiness💙💙💙