BATMAN (1989) dir. Tim Burton

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BATMAN (1989) dir. Tim Burton
this comic was brought to you by (1) my mom insisting we need to watch the 1989 tim burton batman and (2) me wondering why on god's green earth they got prince to do the music. and for the record i fucking love prince (and grew up listening to him), i just would not in a million years think to make that connection on my own. anyway please listen to Erotic City it's a good tune
When you hurt your neck in your sleep so you turn into Batman:
<!-- BEGIN TRANSMISSION --> <div style="white-space:pre-wrap"> <meta bat-file="89_rewatch_glitch"> <script>ARCHIVE_TAG="BLACKSITE_VHS_CORRUPTION_001:BATMAN_SAID_MF" EFFECT: Mandela Effect escalation, memory bleedthrough, cinematic delirium </script>
🦇 THAT TIME BATMAN CALLED THE JOKER A MOTHERF*CKER
---
Let me take you back.
It’s 1989. You’ve just popped that Blockbuster rental copy of Batman into the VCR. Tim Burton. Michael Keaton. Jack F*cking Nicholson. You’re 7 years old, wide-eyed, unsupervised, and this isn’t just a movie — it’s a holy document. A rite of passage. A VHS scroll of Gotham scripture.
You’re deep into it. The museum scene just passed — Joker’s dancing to Prince, defacing priceless art, and trying to woo Vicki Vale with homicidal paint fumes.
Batman busts through the skylight, grabs the girl, batarangs a couple of goons into trauma therapy, and disappears into the night like a cryptid with a grappling hook addiction.
You’re hooked.
But nothing -- nothing -- prepares you for what happens next.
Bruce is in the Batcave.
He’s running files. Pulling receipts. Zoom-enhancing like a 1989 hacker-savant on high-octane vengeance. And then -- he remembers it.
Remembers something Joker said as a homicidal bar off the dome.
> “You ever dance with the devil in the pale moonlight?”
That line. That cursed little nursery rhyme Joker drops before he shoots people in the face with Looney Tunes handguns.
And Bruce pauses.
The air gets thick. He flashes back to that alley. The pearls. The scream. The muzzle flash that turned him from boy to bat.
That line -- it’s not just villain shtick. It’s the password to his origin trauma.
Fast forward.
Final act. Cathedral. Joker’s dragging Vicki Vale up what feels like 7,000 haunted stairs. Batman’s in pursuit, pissed, bleeding, emotionally cooked.
The belfry showdown begins.
And here it is.
The moment.
You swear it happened.
Batman grabs Joker by the collar, throws him into a pile of gothic architecture, and rasps out in his Michael Keaton bat-growl:
> “I’m gonna kill you, motherfucker.”
Not “scum.” Not “joker.” Not “you killed my parents.”
Motherfucker.
You paused the tape.
You rewound it.
You called your cousin in from the hallway.
> “Did you hear that? He said motherfucker.”
Your cousin shrugs. Your mom yells at you for rewinding too much. Your sibling’s trying to fix the tracking on the VCR.
But deep in your soul?
You know what you heard.
Except…
That line?
Doesn’t exist.
Nowhere in the actual script. Not in deleted scenes. Not in director’s commentary. Not even in the weird foreign dub where Joker laughs in French.
But you remember it.
You remember it.
Clear as day.
That’s how powerful Batman (1989) was.
It didn’t just tell you a story. It installed a glitch in your cortex. A false memory so emotionally potent that it warped VHS playback and left you with cinematic PTSD.
And don’t even get me started on the Joker’s line about rhubarb.
> “Never rub another man’s rhubarb.”
What?
Why?
What does that mean?
We don’t know. We didn’t know then. We still don’t.
But it was iconic. It felt important. It felt like… prophecy.
Let’s be real.
Michael Keaton was unhinged Batman before Bale made it method. Before Pattinson made it depressive. Before Clooney added nipples.
This Batman said “You wanna get nuts? Let’s get nuts,” like a man who eats drywall and challenges demons to bare-knuckle therapy.
So yes.
You remember him saying “motherfucker.” Because it felt earned.
Batman had been holding it in for 90 minutes. For 30 years. For his entire goddamn inner child.
And when he said it? You felt seen.
Mandela Effect?
Maybe.
Or maybe you just had the unrated cut that played only in your head.
And maybe that’s the only cut that matters.
Sleep well.
And if you ever catch a rerun of Batman (1989), turn the volume up. Right at the belfry fight.
And listen closely.
> If you hear it… > If you hear that raspy growl say > “I’m gonna kill you, motherfucker…”
You’re not crazy.
You’re just remembering the Bat-F-bomb Timeline that VHS tried to erase.
---
🦇 Reblog if you swear you heard Batman say “motherf*cker.”
Reblog if your childhood memories came with static lines and tracking issues.
Reblog if Joker’s rhubarb line lives rent-free in your frontal lobe.
Reblog if you’re 91% sure this happened… and 9% willing to fistfight over it.
</div> <!-- END TRANSMISSION [AUTO-GLITCH IN: 91% CERTAINTY] -->
I'm HERE. I'm right here, you assholes.
And I won't stop posting about my disgust with the American government and its people.
Let me make it plain: Fuck ICE. Fuck the United States.
This country can kiss my ass. You don't scare me. I will speak my mind on social media.
I always knew Trump and his cronies were bad people. It didn't take the release of the Epstein files to know this. It was always apparent. I don't peddle the "both sides are the same" bullshit because I'm not susceptible to being gaslit, like so many other Americans have proven themselves to be. I have no delusions about who is good and who is evil. I was never confused. My eyes have been and always will be wide open. I read actual, peer-reviewed, researched news, and don't allow myself to be manipulated by the likes of Fox News, Joe Rogan, Elon Musk and other propaganda-pushers on TikTok and other social media.
I did not forget what this country was founded upon: Life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
I did not forget Lazarus's words on the Statue of Liberty: "Give me your tired, your poor, Your huddled masses yearning to breathe free..."
I'm not the one that betrayed this country. I'm not the one breaking any laws. I'm not the one that sexually assaulted girls
If DHS wants to collect names, there are plenty of real criminals to go around. Put yourselves in jail, you cowards.
To the United States government - hear me: You can fuck right off.
The Batmobile
My new illustration for John Jackson Miller's upcoming novel, Batman: Revolution! The book is a follow up to John's previous novel Batman: Resurrection, both of which serve as sequels to Tim Burton's 1989 film (and prequels to Batman Returns). Featured here is a new, separate vision of The Riddler of the '89 universe!
Batman (1989) Deadpool 2 (2018)