Farkas was right in waiting for Aela and Vilkas to return. Originally, I had wanted to invite all members of the Companions to the discussion, but they convinced me to keep it within the Circle for now. Regardless of how much we trust the others, there is just too much damage that could ensue if others knew what we had spoken of.
It was a long day of talking, and we were all exhausted by the end. Unfortunately, there isn’t much the Companions can do to protect against an attack, we’re just too few in number. My suggestion of pledging the Companions to the Stormcloaks was immediately shut down, and for good reason; it would go against the Jarl’s wishes and invite the wrath of the Empire. Worst of all, the damned Battle-Borns would definitely spy for the Empire and cause Whiterun to fall from within. I should have realized that before I even offered the idea…
Farkas suggested we run a recruitment campaign, which would be a good plan if the war hadn’t already taken nearly all the able-bodied warriors.
Vilkas added that there are plenty of mercenaries we could hire, although we have no idea how long we would have to have them on standby. Like I had said, Ulfric seems reluctant to attack Whiterun, so we could easily run out of funds well before any attack took place.
Aela suggested converting all the Companions to werewolves, but that was quickly voted down.
In the end, we agreed that Vilkas’s plan was likely our best option. However, we can’t afford to keep the mercenaries on standby, so we’re going to press everyone to take as many contracts as they can to build our coffers. Hopefully we’ll have enough warning of an incoming attack that we could use those funds to quickly hire a small army of our own.
Once that long and exhausting conversation had finished, we came back to my idea of pledging myself to Ulfric. Now that was an even more heated debate. Aela definitely supported my plan to seek out the Greybeards and learn more on how to use these shouts, but she agreed with the others that if the Harbinger of the Companions openly allied with Ulfric, it could lead to the Empire believing Whiterun itself has allied with him.
Ultimately, we’ve decided I’ll help with some of the current contracts, and then afterward I’ll seek out the Greybeards. Once I understand more about my role as Dragonborn, we can make a decision on what I should do.
I just feel so defeated right now. There doesn’t seem to be anything we can do to protect Whiterun, our home. In the end, we’ll simply be doing what we had already been doing. Lucia woke when I had returned home tonight. I hadn’t eaten much all day and had just sat by the fire with a thick soup. She didn’t say a word, just kneeled down beside me and rested her head against my leg. I choked on my tears as I looked down on her. I had promised to find her a home, somewhere safe, somewhere she would be happy.