manicured fingers stopped over the vials he had been pushing around the table, trying to busy his mind with constant thoughts that wanted to keep plaguing him. it was alec’s voice that pulled him back down to earth, that voice that could be so calming && remind him that he wasn’t alone. for too long before the nephilim he distanced himself && had someone told him years or decades ago that he would be with a shadowhunter, he would’ve laughed, called them crazy. how far he had come, despising them && now he found himself with the most perfect being that could live. HIS ALEXANDER. a soft intake of breath, despite his raven haired lover’s words, opening up wasn’t entirely easy && the last thing he wanted was to worry him when there were more pressing issues in their world.
“ --------------------------- I KNOW. I KNOW. “ bare feet padded against wood flooring over to his love, jeweled fingers reaching up to just ghost along alec’s cheek. how could he be so self-loathing right now ? the man in front of him cared for him, loved him. why did he feel so empty, though ? he had everything a mundane would ever want, a love, a home, food ---- but no magic. magic that he once felt vibrating through his veins && now, nothing. he just wanted to relish in the happiness of a lifetime together. “ there’s no pretending, though. everything is fine, perfect even. how couldn’t it be ? i have you, “ a smile making home on his lips, fingers lingering on the soft paleness of his love’s cheek. just be happy. be happy.