I got like five new followers, and I was supper excited because new friends! Then I saw the post about the bots, and I went back to double check and I can confirm, I was indeed bean boozled.
Jokes on them though, I don’t even like nipples! Who’s been bean boozled now?!
in which most of our heroes are in hell and Ladybug is laughing her ass off
beta read by @coffee-bean-boi
Back when group patrols first started, a rule was instated that snacks absolutely must be brought every patrol. A rotating schedule was put in place, with one team member assigned to bring snacks on a predictable schedule. If the team member in question showed up on their turn with no snacks, then they were Exiled.
Exile is the single worst punishment that can possibly be brought upon a miraculous holder. Exile means taking over all graveyard shift solo patrols for an indeterminate amount of time. The only way that one can get out of Exile is if somebody else becomes Exiled.
On a chilly evening in late December, it was Ladybug’s turn to bring snacks. Queen Bee was currently in Exile, and had almost attempted to sabotage Ladybug for some sleep; in hindsight she should have, for Christmas had come and gone, and it had brought some...opportunity.
“I brought Bean Boozled!” An excited superheroine was grinning widely, jelly beans in hand.
There was a collective flinch from the gathered heroes, except for Chat Noir, who had not experienced the horror that Ladybug had just unleashed upon them.
“You brought what now.” (Queen Bee)
“That’s really uncool, dude.” (Carapace)
“No offense, Ladybug, but that’s not very merry of you.” (Rena Rouge)
Chat Noir was attempting to draw his own conclusions. He did not draw very many, because the reactions of his teammates did not mesh with the fact that these were jelly beans and thus were automatically wonderful.
"It seems that one of us is oddly silent. What say you, Chaton?” Ladybug asked with a smirk.
“I’m just not exactly sure on what Bean Boozled is, Bugaboo.”
Ladybug grinned, if possible, even more widely. The other heroes heaved a collective sigh.
“It was nice knowing you, bro.” Carapace solemnly spoke to Chat, putting his hand on the increasingly worried feline hero.
Needless to say, Ladybug immediately peer pressured Chat Noir into going first. He caved. The rules were explained (spin the spinner, eat the bean it lands on, it could be good or bad). Finally, the fated flick of the claw sent the spinner spinning.
The moment was tense as everyone waited for the spinner to slow. It seemed like hours later that the arrow landed on a bean.
“Oh god.”
It was the first spin, and he’d already gotten the dreaded Peach/Barf. Slowly, he sifted through the selection of beans to find one of the necessary color.
The bean was somewhat translucent in the low light of the evening. It looked so innocent, and yet it inspired such dread.
He took a breath and popped it into his mouth. He bit down.
He sagged in relief. He began to smile, because it really was a pretty good jelly bean.
“Peach!”
Everybody else high-fived him, with the exception of Ladybug, who looked a bit put out.
“Beginner’s luck. Who’s next?”
A quick 4-way game of rock-paper-scissors later (everybody peer pressured Ladybug into it. she caved), and Rena Rouge was apprehensively looking at the spinner. A quick flick of her finger, and it was sending her to her (probable) doom.
“Not bad.”
Stinky Socks or Tutti-Frutti. She dove for the colorful bean, and shoved it into her mouth, just to get it over with.
Immediately, she started to gag. Her face screwed up in distaste, and Ladybug burst into laughter.
“Spit it out, babe!”
“No! She has to eat it!”
These came from Carapace and Ladybug, respectively. Eventually, Rena forced herself to swallow.
“Ugh. Need I even say?”
Everyone gave her looks of pity, except for Ladybug, who simply laughed harder.
“Who’s ne-ext?” Ladybug asked with a singsong voice.
Peer pressure struck again, and a 3-way game of rock-paper-scissors later, Carapace was about to spin.
He gently pushed the spinner, and it went slowly, stopping relatively quickly.
“Thank you, spinner of glory! Spinner of happiness! I praise thee, holy being, for allowing me mercy!”
Carapace happily plucked a lucky blue bean from the package. He popped it into his mouth, and shouted, “Berry Blue!”
And then there were two.
A very tense game of rock-paper-scissors commenced. It was best 2 out of 3.
The first game, Ladybug won.
The next, Queen Bee got her revenge.
It was down to this final game.
“Rock, Paper, Scissors, Shoot!”
Ladybug put her fists up triumphantly. Queen Bee sighed with defeat.
She spun the spinner.
“Oooh, that’s a new one!”
Birthday Cake or Dirty Dishwater.
Queenie picked through the beans to find whatever curse she had to eat, with a look of distaste upon her face. She found the thing, and held it between her fingers.
She squeezed her eyes shut, and bit down on the spotted piece of trash.
“Ugh!”
Ladybug began to laugh again, while everyone else patted Queenie sympathetically. She was attempting to keep some semblance of composure, but that ended when the gag reflex kicked in.
After an eternity, Queen Bee choked down that god-forsaken jelly bean.
And then there was one.
Confidently, Ladybug spun the accursed spinner. It landed on a bean.
“Ha! You’d better get dog food!” Queen Bee shouted.
Ladybug had turned pale. Her bean was Chocolate Pudding or Canned Dog Food.
She plucked out a brown bean from the container. She pinched her nose and popped it into her mouth.
She bit down.
“I am so sorry for laughing.”
Her face was contorted in disgust, while a chorus of laughter had broken out among the other heroes.
“Revenge is a dish best served in the form of a jelly bean.” Rena Rouge stated smugly.
After the container had been emptied (they hadn’t eaten all of them. Chat had accidentally knocked it over while reacting to a Dead Fish bean), an amendment was made to the snack/Exile rule: The next person to bring Bean Boozled or any snack of that type is immediately put into Exile.
btw i would just like to mention that all of the following were chosen randomly with dice as i was writing:
1) Which beans everyone got
2) Whether the beans were good or bad
3) Who went in what order
I promise that 3, especially, is random. Thank the D20 of Good Plot. It knows all.
