The past six weeks or so, you may (or may not) have noticed I’ve been largely absent from social media.
Since the first day of Spring, which was the closing ceremony of the first cohort for my women’s immersion, Polish Your Shine, I have been in a very deep inward period, processing & healing new layers of some of my own trauma that came up during the process of guiding others, and I’ll elaborate on that more in another post.
But there’s another reason I’ve been quiet. This country just breaks my fucking heart in certain ways, it always has, and sometimes, it’s just too much. Retreat is all I can do. I’ve realized I have been going through these phases throughout my life, when the weight of the world is just too much, and I have to retreat into relative stillness and quiet for a period, to transmute, to process, to send healing to the collective, to mourn, to grieve, to pray, and to restore balance to my being so that I can go on and be of service in the best way I know.
In March we hit the one-year mark of this pandemic shutdown here in the U.S., and still, despite having this ‘common enemy’ which I hoped might in some strange way unite us, (and I think it did, some of us,) racism, homophobia, and hatred are alive in America, and of course have been encouraged and emboldened in some ways by the previous Head Cheeto Drumpf. If you know, you know, it’s nothing new. Indigenous, black, & brown people, Asian people, LGBTQ+ people, and immigrants know. You live with the dangers & prejudices of being non-white hetero male everyday. It’s a situation that bothers me very deeply, and on a larger/national scale, one that I feel totally powerless to change, and sometimes it paralyzes me for a bit. As Free as I am, I will never feel totally free until ALL my brothers, sisters, and children, regardless of what they look like, where they are from, who they love, are free as well.
Get it together, U.S. I’ve been finding myself largely speechless, angry, not feeling like I have anything worthwhile to contribute to the dialogue that’s not already being said. With my audience, I’d be speaking to the choir with a lot of what I have to say.
I’m back. Love you all.
