#bee 52

[bangjiazheng]

Bee 52 (NES) Playthrough

[hellman55]

Bee 52 (NES) Playthrough

[joytraveler]

#26: In The Name Of The Law

This looks like an 8-bit beat-em-up in the family of Double Dragon, but instead of a scrappy street fighter, you're a cop yourself! You also don't punch or kick; rather your weapons are to grab and throw, tossing bad guys into other bad guys.

Bee52: it's like SMB2, but this is the mean streets where Mario doesn't go

"Mushroom Kingdom P.D. Which is probably a real game, one I could be playing instead of this." Boop boop, she tosses one hooligan into another, knocking them both into a mini-boss for double damage! Said mini-boss is an angry fish merchant wielding a pair of lobsters

DueyDecimal: A fishmonger? I'd thought it would be a fruit cart guy angry at you for knocking it over during a chase scene...

"This is the wharf area I guess, that'll be later. We're just gonna wreck everything on the way to the donut shop!"

"Oh yeah I went for the donut joke. Sorry if this show is getting a little edgy for some of you guys!"

Bea picks up a 'hand' icon that comes out of a trash can, and now the cop character has a longer reach-- he can stretch his arm like taffy!

aroseahorseboy: it's making me want circular pastries OH HOW pigbarrel: Yes... the long, elastic arm of the law HNV: Now you can take a bite out of crime! With, um, your arm. DueyDecimal: This would be a great way to fight crime, but... are there any criminals here? These people look like shoppers?

"I dunno, I didn't think much of it.. I mean in these kind of games, everyone wants to beat you up anyway.." They don't even seem to attack much, if at all. "Maybe he's gotta make sure the stores get fed, don't nobody run off now!"

Some people do attack, but they're either using their bare hands or improvised weapons: one that gives Bea trouble is an apron-wearing shopkeeper puffing a fire extinguisher!


[joytraveler]

#24: Box Baby

"Box baby, baby in a box, you can keep it where you keep your socks. Look, it's late"

Bea drains the last of her coffee down. "all right any game where you get to box a baby is gonna be fun. I don't support baby punching but sometimes you just gotta go for it, right??"

This game has no title screen. It fades in on a white background and two images: an 'astronaut' on the left, facing a wrapped gift on the right. They're the same size and seem to be 16X16 pixels, except greatly enlarged to take up half the screen. The other half is a dialogue box.

The gameplay is limited to answering yes or no questions.

[HELLO! WILL YOU PLEASE OPEN THIS BOX? (Y/N)]

Bea is quiet for a while, just squinting at the screen. "Why does this feel bad." Bea moves her cursor back and forth. "Okay. Well. It wouldn't be much of a game if I didn't open the box, so here we go.."

>YES

The glowing eyes under the lid of the box are only visible for a split second-- before it all goes black and white and the phrase GAME OVER flashes on the screen.

Unlike any other game so far, rather than getting booted back to the selection screen, hitting any button starts the game over.

[HELLO! WILL YOU PLEASE OPEN THIS BOX? (Y/N)]

"WHOAH WHAT- Okay. Well, that would have appeared to be the thing to NOT do!"

aroseahorseboy: whoa bea

She appears to realize she was feeling tense, and tries to relax a bit.

"I don't get these games, I don't get what I'm supposed to do here some of the time but they'e so damn weird!" Bea chooses NO this time.

"That'll teach you. BAD box, bad box!"

[I CAN'T GET OUT OF THIS BOX. WILL YOU OPEN IT FOR ME? (Y/N)]

>NO. "Is this all it is? I don't trust you, eyeball box! So.. how do I win? Is there even anything else to do here? Ut! Hey, I said NO already! Gonna make me say it again? all right.."

[IT WOULD MAKE ME VERY HAPPY. WON'T YOU OPEN THE BOX? (Y/N)]

"It would make me happy to not die and get a game over...? What do I do guys?? Well, I'm gonna open it, see if he' s learned his lesson..?"

[GAME OVER.]

Luckily she can scroll quickly through the text she's already seen.

"Ohforfuck'ssake!!! Why is that frightening, it shouldn't be! rRrrRRRrrgh.. all right.. I have to admit all these so far have been weird but this is kind of baffling.."

She scrolls back to see if she missed anything. Nothing much to miss, just three pleas to be let out... and two nos.

"Ok now I'm going to be a shitty abusive mom and keep my evil eyeball child in the box where it belongs" she says calmly, and a little too casually.

She tries three nos in a row this time. Upon the third 'no' there's a [...], as if the box's contents were thinking. Then it makes a longer speech.

[DO YOU KNOW WHAT'S IN THE BOX? IT'S ME! I AM A SWEET LITTLE BABY. I COULD BE YOURS IF YOU WANTED. WILL YOU OPEN MY BOX AND TAKE ME OUT? (Y/N)]

"This is not really so enjoyable as the name of the console led me to believe" she groans, looking worriedly at the camera. "Ugh... I hope I'm doing the right thing here" >NO

[... ACTUALLY, I'M NOT JUST A BABY. I AM A LOT OF LITTLE KITTENS!

WILL YOU LET ME-- I MEAN, US, OUT? (Y/N)]

"How DARE you tempt me with kittens?!! You're a monster!" Bea rages at the machine. >NO

[... SO YOU'RE NOT A CAT PERSON. THAT'S OKAY. I'M ACTUALLY A GOLDEN RETRIEVER PUPPY! TAKE ME OUT AND CUDDLE ME! (Y/N)]

Now it's Bea's tun to press the box, she keeps picking >NO again and again, seeing how many different responses she can get.

[... MAYBE I'M A BAG OF JELLYBEANS. FOR YOU. WOULD YOU OPEN THE BOX THEN? (Y/N)]

"What kind of jellyb-" she starts to ask out loud, before hitting NO again.

[... YOU'RE BEING UNREASONABLE. THERE ARE A LOT OF EXCELLENT REASONS TO OPEN THIS BOX, YOU KNOW. YOU GOT ME-- I'M NOT A BABY, OR KITTENS, OR PUPPIES, OR CANDY. THE TRUTH IS, I WON'T KNOW WHAT I AM UNTIL I SEE MYSELF. WILL YOU OPEN THE BOX-- JUST A CRACK-- AND LET SOME LIGHT IN? (Y/N)]

"Ok, I'm not sure how long this goes on but I'm not sure how much of a "game" this is.." Her face grows more worried as she reads the responses. One more NO.

"Is this wrong, am I torturing box baby?"

The chat is starting to fill up again, apparently word is getting out about this very weird game.

[... MAYBE I DON'T KNOW WHAT I AM. BUT I KNOW WHAT I CAN DO. I CAN MAKE OPENING THE BOX VERY WORTH YOUR WHILE. HOW ABOUT IT? (Y/N)]

"...Like, comment and subscribe if you want me to stop torturing box baby! Nah I'm just playing. Maybe."

[... NO, SERIOUSLY. EVEN I CAN HARDLY BELIEVE THE THINGS I CAN DO. WOULD YOU LIKE TO BE RICH? I CAN DO THAT FOR YOU. LET ME OUT SO I CAN SHOW YOU. (Y/N)]

>NO

[WHAT ABOUT FAME? YOUR FACE EVERYWHERE? TV, MOVIES, BILLBOARDS, THE INTERNET? LET ME OUT AND YOU'LL HAVE IT. (Y/N)]

"Excuse you, I'm ALREADY very famous on the internet! In my mind. But you know what.. Maybe I'll come back to this one later and see if I can find anything else here, but for now I think I'll move on to some of the other games. So, I'm giving you this one, Box Baby, but don't get used to it.."

>YES

[-GAME OVER-] [HELLO! WILL YOU PLEASE OPEN THIS BOX?]

"All right. I tried to play nice, but you press Bea too much and she's gonna press back!" Time to hit the OFF switch for the day. "Think I'm just gonna end it here for now but.. have a great day folks, don't open any creepy boxes and Bee Good!"

[HELLO! WILL YOU PLEASE OPEN THIS BOX?]

"Ok you can't see it but I'm pressing the switch and uh.." clickclickclickclick. "Oh what the hell now!"

In frustration she hits YES and tries to reset while the GAME OVER screen is up. Failing that, time to pull the plug! ...But there IS no plug, Joy Traveler is powered by batteries. There doesn't seem to be a battery slot on the console either.

"How the hell does this thing work?! Look I'm not screwing around here, this thing's being weird. Maybe it's old? Maybe something's messed up in there?"

Finally she just keeps hitting YES again and again just out of frustration, to see if anything changes.

[HELLO! WILL YOU-- GAME OVER. HELLO! WILL YOU-- GAME OVER. HELLO! WILL YOU-- GAME OVER.] HNV: Contest of wills! Who will crack first, Bea or the Box!

YES NO YES NO NO NO NO NO YES YES NO YES NO YES NO YE- "What do you want?! Do you want me to throw you in the garbage again because I'll totally do that!"

aroseahorseboy: did you see the progress bar at the bottom

"What?? No?" She looks.

aroseahorseboy: it sort of popped up after your third yes

The next time she answers no to the initial question, the progress bar jumps to more than halfway – and it returns to the celebrity question.

"BOX I WILL DENY YOU if that's what I'm supposed to do and apparently it is, so. NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" She jams away at the NO command again.

[HOW ABOUT TECHNOLOGY? YOU LIKE THAT, RIGHT? I CAN INVENT THINGS FOR YOU. AMAZING THINGS. I HAVE PLANS RIGHT HERE FOR A COMPUTER THE SIZE OF A POPPYSEED. LET ME OUT SO I CAN SHOW YOU. (Y/N)]

"You do go on, huh. I wish I could help this guy(?) but I can't, or I die I guess, but.."

>NO

[DO YOU EVER FEEL LONELY? I CAN GET YOU FRIENDS. GOOD FRIENDS. DEVOTED FRIENDS. FRIENDS WHO WOULD SOONER DIE THAN DISAPPOINT YOU. PLEASE DON'T DISAPPOINT ME. OPEN THE BOX. (Y/N)]

"I have friends! I have two or three of them in fact, middling quality friends perhaps but they're mine!" >NO

[... I CAN GIVE YOU ANYTHING YOU WANT. I MEAN A N Y T H I N G. YOU CAN'T TELL ME YOU DON'T WANT THAT. (Y/N)]

"I hate this machine I hate it I hate it I might not do another one after this guys, it's just.. I think it's broken anyway, there might be no point in going on?" >NO.

[... HAVE YOU EVER LOST SOMEONE YOU LOVED? WOULDN'T YOU LIKE TO GO BACK AND SEE THEM AGAIN? I CAN DO THAT, YOU KNOW. WELL, NOT YET. BUT IF YOU LET ME OUT... I PROMISE I'LL FIGURE IT OUT FOR YOU. (Y/N)]

"Oh dear." She reads back "OH dear." >NO

There's a long pause this time. Several ellipses go by. Until now there hadn't been any sound but the burbling of the text crawl, but now there are sound effects-- pops and clicks like radio static.

When the box speaks again, the words are typed slowly and deliberately.

[YOU HAD BETTER LET ME OUT RIGHT NOW. (Y/N)]

"..I'm not playing this late at night next time.." A big anime sweat drop appears on her head-- added in post. >NO. 

"I don't even want to DO this, I just can't do anything else, I really don't have a lot of options here."

[I MEAN IT. RIGHT NOW. YOU KNOW WHY? BECAUSE ONE DAY, I'M GOING TO GET OUT OF THIS BOX ANYWAY. AND WHEN I DO, I'M GOING TO FIND YOU. AND I WILL MAKE YOU VERY, VERY SORRY. NOW OPEN THE BOX. (Y/N)]

"SEE I fucking knew you were up to some evil shit in there! Well you know what? Maybe you're in there cause you're mean, and maybe you can just stay in there until you've settled down a bit." >N

A long pause.

[I'LL KILL YOU IF YOU DON'T LET ME OUT RIGHT NOW. (Y/N)]

"Oh you've done plenty of that I think. You mess with the bee, you get the sting. You have earned SO many stings!" >NO. She checks out the progress meter. 95%, so close!

But the text box is ominously silent. After a brief lull, it speaks again, in the same deliberate tone.

[I WAS LYING.] [I KNOW WHAT I AM.]

"You're overdramatic and yucky and weird?" she interjects. "Sorry, go on"

[I AM DEATH.]

"Oh"

[I AM SCATTERED BONES AND MAGGOTY EYES.] [I AM COLLAPSED BUILDINGS AND DISTANT SCREAMING.] [I AM YOU AND EVERYTHING YOU EVER CARED ABOUT] [SHRINKING TO ASH AND FLYING AWAY IN THE HOT WIND.] [I AM THE NIGHTMARE YOU NEVER DARED TO DREAM.] [...] [WILL YOU LET ME OUT?]

"Er" Bea is still for a pregnant moment. "Thoughts, anybody?"

aroseahorseboy: say no... DueyDecimal: NO! HNV: not fucking likely, dude Syrupentine: no no no NO NO NO Bee52: box baby is fucking METAL, yo but still no

"Ok Box Baby well the general consensus is for you to go fuck the sun, but let's just close the lid on this"

When she chooses "no", suddenly the static sound stops-- it had gotten incredibly loud during that last part. There's another long pause.

[YOU KNOW SOMETHING? I WOULDN'T EITHER.]

The screen fades away and returns to the game's menu. "Box Baby" is now grayed out-- it cannot be selected again.

"I WON YES I AM YOUR QUEEN AND YOU CAN SUCK IT BOX BABY, ITS INTO THE PROM NIGHT DUMPSTER WITH YOU!"

HNV: GO BEA! DueyDecimal: Awesome work Bea! aroseahorseboy: BEA I DEMAND YOU SELL BOX BABY SHIRTS SO I CAN BUY THEM FOR EVERY FAMILY MEMBER INCLUDING THE MYNA BIRD

"Whew. Ok. I feel like I just fought a really crazy boss fight and all I did was select between two choices? Right? I'm not sure what happened and I need hot pockets."

Syrupentine: It wouldn't let you turn the console off without winning! That was crazy! Llord_Kuruku: I'd burn the fuxkin box Chillarmy-the-Bee: dude you have a mynah bird?? Frodovegeta2009: do a gem fusion with the box DueyDecimal: Poor lonely box. :'( aroseahorseboy: yeah poor box having Satan locked in it

[joytraveler]

21. Blasting Machine

The title comes up from the bottom of the screen in huge letters, and explodes to bits as soon as Start is pressed.

"Oops I'll clean that up, s'fine"

aroseahorseboy: good going! think you can cause any more damage in ten seconds?!

"I just tapped it! Some shoddy construction on this thing, I'll tell you what"

Bee52: You gon tap dat logo or what

The game is a top-down exploration game, like the original Zelda but with a pickaxe instead of a sword. The first screen is dominated by a huge machine, some sort of giant smelter? It looks like you can put things into it via a conveyor belt, but Bea doesn't have any items yet.

"WITH MY FACTORY. I CAN MAKE ERASERS. THERE ARE MANY THINGS THAT NEED TO BE ERASED."

berd_snurglar: bea don't do that voice again ever ok thx DueyDecimal: Little Queen Bea is a horrifying thought No offense to Bea!

Bea searches around, smashing rocks with the pickaxe for hunks of ore, and often just picking up junk on the side. Lots of old appliances, enough that she has no room in her inventory for the busted TV set when she finds it!

"Ohohohoh, I'm coming back for you baby! I think I know where this is going and the kid in me is real excited to blow things up!"

HNV: Pickaxe? Collecting and scavenging? Did someone invent Minecraft back in the 80s and now Notch owes them his fortune? Llord_Kuruku: if yes: good if no: we need a yes because that would be good

Even with the inventory full, Bea can still inspect things, and there's plenty of appliances left. Surprisingly, all of them have their name brands intact: Instant Pot, Sunbeam toaster oven, Whirlpool washer/dryer.

Syrupentine: This game reminds me of the Sears Wish Book for some reason

When she returns to the machine, sure enough, it's time to start blasting! You get a close up of each object as it's sent down to the blasting chamber to be hit with a beam of heat! The ray intensifies and the player is treated to a spectacular exploding (or melting) of pixels!

"WOOOOO, BLASTING MACHIIIINE!" Bea kicks up her legs, then scrambles as she almost knocks down her setup

"Is this all you do? I'd be pretty content about that actually"

DueyDecimal: It's very elaborage for a game where you just blow up old stuff! aroseahorseboy: what about those ore chunks you collected, can you blast those, or trade them for something?

"Looks like there might be some recipes? Not recipes, blueprints. Nothing I can do yet, but- oh." Blasting some objects yields bits of metal she can collect again. "all right, and it looks like I can upgrade the machine too! I dunno what bigger things I need to be blasting?"

TaichouSenseiKun: Blast your neighbor's car into several bicycles. It will be impossible to ride them all!

Bea's on her way back to get the TV set when something slithers across the screen quickly. "Whoo, okay, anyone see that? I am now worrying"

Syrupentine: We got so used to it being a sandbox game we forgot that there might be a plot!!

"Maybe if we don't move the plot won't be able to get us.." She warily walks to some bushes where the thing went and hid..

aroseahorseboy: please be a cute harmless friend please please please

[acquired GARTER SNAKE]

"Our first party member!"

Klickitat_Street: Oh, it’s an item. IT’S AN ITEM??

"Why is it an...........................Oh, you're not serious."

HNV: Deeply Disturbed Child Simulator 2015

Indeed, you can catch frogs down near the river, a bird if you're fast enough when it lands. A cat wanders about on one of the further screens but Bea just goes for the TV set.

"This is really, really kind of not okay with me?" She giggles painfully as she makes her way back to the machine. "Can I just keep them in my inventory and we can ignore the implications.."

aroseahorseboy: this is a long shot but maybe you’re supposed to fuse them with the ore chunks to make cyborgs or something I HOPE

"all right, let's.. let's try this one.." Bea groans. "Snake plus Three iron ingots.. I really hope this isn't gonna be that bad"

aroseahorseboy is just barely peeking through his fins to watch TaichouSenseiKun forces aro's fins apart aroseahorseboy has sunglasses on underneath HAH TaichouSenseiKun pulls them off aroseahorseboy: Ah. I see my plan has hit a snag HNV: I couldn’t even play Pikmin, what is with these games where you’re forced to harm little animals?

There's a tense, disturbing moment as the snake begins to rush around the blast chamber.. but the blast is just a big bright flash.

[Made SNAKE CHAIN lv.1!]

The new weapon is a scaly looking length of chain with a fanged tip. It can be used as both a whip and a grappling hook! "Whoah.. Oh this is kind of neat is it wrong I feel that way? Is this how it feels to be Dr. Robotnik?"

Glockroach: yeah cool but its still dead. I think? Syrupentine: It hisses when you swing it? I’m hoping that means it’s still alive... Baconnaise: Bea you did this you take good care of that snake chain try a bird next, everyone hates birds SugaGlydah: ;n; I like birbs but i get they're not for everybody Glockroach: Thank god, Sugar is here. Now run. SugaGlydah: why what- OH aroseahorseboy: that’s what my older relatives all want to do with my bird “that’s no pet that’s DINNER, guffaw haw haw” having them threaten to turn it into a gun or something would be better!

"Like this?" BLAST!

[Made CROW BAR lv. 1!]

"Oh, it's a tool, I guess. And a bad pun. Well, who could resist?"

DueyDecimal: I bet if you put them together it becomes a NUNCHUCKATRICE! HNV: So are you making weapons just to stockpile, or is there something you can do with them?

Two frogs can make a pair of boots, though, that let you hop over small gaps. And the TV, broken down, can be remade into a set of body armor! "I guess that's a good question, we should go back to see what we can do now!"

All around the machine are barriers that Bea can now overcome with her new tools: the Crow Bar lets her open up a boarded-up door in a decrepit house, and there’s a crevice west of this screen that can be jumped with the frog boots.

When the door is opened, monsters start to stream out— gray zombies with broken TVs for heads!

SugaGlydah also screms because good lord Baconnaise: That was some real terror right there Bea HNV: Watch! Yourself! Don’t fall off of the shelf!

"I'm, I'm-" She runs away as quickly as she can to the point she can hit them with the snake chain.

It’s not a strong weapon at all; one of them goes down after five hits, but there’s still six crowding around her!

DueyDecimal: What kind of animal can she turn into a shotgun?? Glockroach: Just smash two normal guns together, boom, shotgun

"Actually my pickaxe is better agains them than anything, oddly. However I am going to be dead soon I should probably flee"

HNV: Catch a bird, birdshotgun

One of the zombies gets a little running start and dashes at Bea's character, tackling him to the ground!

SugaGlydah: D: Baconnaise: Well crap Maybe they just want a hug Bee52: Dogpile on Bea! That's Dog + Atomic pile + Bee

Three more zombies launch themselves into the pile, and Bea's character is now being carried by the four of them-- not back into the house, but toward the spawning area, where the machine is located.

"HEYYY everyone! No hard feelings, right?? I mean how could I have known I was blastin' one of your heads before, ya know, we all make mistakes and if we fry we can never correct 'em!"

Baconnaise: I think maybe you were supposed to put the TV on your head to disguise yourself? Just a thought aroseahorseboy: wow this is Sierra Game brutal

Back at the Blasting Machine (as one would assume it's called), the zombies hold Bea's character in the air as one of them rummages through the junk heaps and finds yet another TV; then they load the player character and the TV onto the conveyor belt.

DueyDecimal: ONE OF US! ONE OF US! ONE OF US!

"Y'ever been really impressed by something and also hated it? HAAAAALP!!!" She's been jamming on buttons all this time, but it seems to just be a cutscene. "We can reset now right? All I did was make some hapless animals into implements of destruction, is that really a crime?"

burd_snerglar: i mean it depends on the state or province aroseahorseboy: if this is trying to make a point against body modification then I don’t appreciate it. if it’s making a point against having a broken TV for a head though... well i guess i have no argument there. Glockroach: Speak for yourself, kiddo. I still get three channels

The Machine activates, and Bea's character pops out as another grey-skinned zombie... and shuffles off with the rest.

There's no 'game over' screen, though; the game simply starts again, with a new character sprite entering the junkyard! This one seems to be a female character, or at least has twin ponytails.

"This has been really. Hm. It's really BEEN, hasn't it? It sure has been here and existed for us to see it. I hope. And I think it deserves a whole nother session to itself because it looks like there's a lot there, but DAMN."

aroseahorseboy: O!~! I get it i thought it would be a shooting game but it's BLASTING as in a BLAST FURNACE HNV: well, you know what they always say he who dealt it, smelts it

>Bea has left the room.

SugaGlydah: Bea wait! Glockroach: she's just going to take a shot I think HNV: I’d apologize but that’s kind of an accomplishment on my part

aroseahorseboy: dude I fcuking PITY whatever comes next, blasting machine rips