Мои современные лапоньки)

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Мои современные лапоньки)
(Black Water Arc vaguespoilers? Discussing an au)
Imagine the Big Dick Energy of an AU He Xuan who, during a night of drinking together, confronts a Shi Qingxuan who's still at full power. He tells them everything about what happened to him, only instead of seeking revenge, is just like "But I fucking clawed my way into heaven anyway, DESPITE your brother's bullshit! So what now? You gonna rat me out and lose your right hand man, or--"
And Shi Qingxuan just grabs his lapels and kisses him with all their might XD
Shi Qingxuan and the Quest to Win the Heart of the Hot Ghost
A beefleaf au to soothe my soul since i’ve reached “that” arc in the series
It all begins when He Xuan makes a mistake. A mistake that almost cost him centuries worth of work
He accidentally saves Shi Qingxuan in the wrong form!
He meant to save him as Ming-xiong, the trusted best friend, but due to an unexpected flux from Taicang mountain, he couldn’t control his form, and slipped into his true form.
Fortunately shi Qingxuan did not see him transform, and he was able to quickly get out of sight to change back
Unfortunately, Shi Qingxuan interpreted He Xuan suddenly appearing, saving his life and then leaving as a sign that He Xuan a hero!
His hero!
His Ghost king who wants to be friends just like Hua Cheng and Xie Lian!
But he’s shy! That’s why he ran away! So its Shi Qingxuan’s job to seek him out and thank him.
And treat him to dinner, and go out on the town, and hold his hand… you know, sworn brother stuff!
Shi Qungxuan might have a bit of a crush.
And Ming Yi, good old best friend ming yi, has to listen to all of it. Every excruciating detail, every inch of his face painted with such flowery language he wants to throw up.
Is he jealous of himself? No way! Not a chance! He’s just worried shi Qingxuan will put sowmthing together before its time!
At first ming yi hopes it will go away, a passing fancy, if shi qingxuan never sees he xuan again
But shi Qingxuan is way more determined than ming yi was expecting. He hunted down his layer, and threw his favorite foods down into the sea as an offering
How did he know he xuan’s favorite foods? They were ming yi’s favorites too! Did he know???
He xuan had to throw him off his trail, so he shifted in to his true form, just to reject them and throw him off the scent.
Shi Qingxuan then asks what his favorites are
He xuan panics and says super rare dishes like “cinnamon” and “corn” thinking the fetch quest will deter him.
It does not. Instead shi Qingxuan drags ming yi on a quest to find a whole nother two continents just so he could bring back food for his new “friend”
And of course, he brings his trusty friend ming yi with him. So ming yi has to go on his own impossible quest
He xuan has just about had it with this, ans vows never to appear before shi Qingxuan again, except…
Shi wudu comes to visit him.
Shi wudu wants to recruit him, ming yi, to keep he xuan away from his brother. To stop this disastrous crush before it destroys everything
He even offers to support ming yi’s own endeavors to court shi qungxuan, because clearly that’s ming yi’s goal here.
“This is that is that important to you?” Ming yi asks
“He xuan and shi qingxuan together would be the worst thing to ever happen to me” shi wudu says (not exactly in those words, but its what he xuan hears)
And suddenly he xuan sees a perfect opportunity to hurt shi wudu in a way that is intense and long lasting
Forget physical torture! Let him watch his brother fall for his greatest enemy!!!
So he begins to court shi qingxuan in his true form. Offering gifts of precious treasures from the sea bottom, eatinf his food, giving him the smoldering look that shi qingxuan will not shut up about to ming yi
Only one problem: he xuan is a little too good. He knows all of shi qingxuan’s favorite things from being his best friend, and bringing them up in courtship…that’s kinda creepy
He doesn’t want to come off as creepy. He needs this to go well.
So he tries to dial it down, but he’s not nearly as good as he thinks
Because one day shi qingxuan looks ming yi right in the eyes and goes “you know there’s nothing that would make me love you any less right? He xuan?”
And ming yi/ he xuan, realizes he’s been caught
But he’s also got a boyfriend, and shi wudu’s worst nightmare has come true, ao its all good
🍃“M-ming-jie!!” 🍖“Can you all behave, please?”
Just rambling, but what if there was like an au where Shi Qingxuan was a powerful sorceress on an island and He Xuan is a sailor whose boat was washed up on the island by a storm....? AND MAYBE, Shi Wudu (npab Shi Wudu not TGCF Shi Wudu) is like a sea god who caused the storm???? (I was listening to the Circe Saga and I just got hit by it)
shi qingxuan: even when you tell me you love someone else and you won't ever feel anything for me, why does it seem like i'm the only one you truly ever treasure and not anybody else? he xuan: you are delusional.
ficlet for beefleaf and number uh.... 7?
HIII I AM SO SORRY THIS TOOK SO LONG I HAVE BEEN. SO BUSY. and also i was trying to make this fit very hard because ermm the song has no lyrics it is in fact a song from the hit video game jedi: survivor and all the ideas i was coming up with didn't have the same energy that i wanted for them LOL (BUT THANK YOU FOR PICKING THIS BECAUSE IT WAS SUCH A CHALLENGE AND I LOVE CHALLENGES!!!!)
so anyways this is ermm. a jedi: survivor au and truthfully this in my mind is like chapter 1 of a 100k one sided enemies to lovers slowburn because that's how every beefleaf fic should be. TO ME
Shi Qingxuan did not know why the stranger, suspended in a strange bacta tank for who knows how long, seemed so familiar. There was something in the gentle, floating swoop of its ink-black hair that called out through the Force, that pulled him closer to inspect this beautiful being. Or maybe it was the pale blue hand that was almost outstretched, as if it had been suspended in animation before fully expecting it, that beckoned him towards the controls to the tank.
Ok but listen to me:
Idol au! With beefleaf, where in the past, the two of them were in an idol production show: like you know, those idol 101 shows. Then it turns out that Shi wudu has been manipulating the results and bribed the producers for Qingxuan to be in the finals, and because of that He Xuan is disqualified.
Soon, the news of his corruption breaks out, wudu goes to jail and due to the overwhelming hate mail, qingxuan basically disappears off the face of the earth.
Cut to five years later, He Xuan is now a successful celebrity and variety show idol. He hosts a food show, and is on the hunt for new and interesting places. One day, he steps into this isolated cafe that has been making rounds online, and comes face to face with Qingxuan….
Ahhh but think of the potential though!!!!