this may or may not be a hot take but I feel like what kayne wants and needs more than anything in the world is also what he Fears more than anything in the world. To be known and to love and be loved and be human.
I really want this to happen (even tho it probably never will lord knows if we’ll even ever see him again god I hope we do-) and I want him to be completely overwhelmed with every emotion and cry about it
~ 🪲
So I've been thinking this over for a couple days now. And I don't know if it's a hot take or not. And I almost completely agree.
But yeah. He so badly wants the connection he sees Arthur having with John and these small moments that even Arthur doesn't seem to appreciate. He's got a weird fixation on Holiday dinners. His fantasy to convince Arthur is less for Arthur than for Kayne. He wants to be invited in from the cold and welcomed in with open arms to conversations and warm drinks (I am so happy benevolent is canon) (it makes Kayne so so pathetic) (all the power in the world and this is the closest you can get to being invited in to dinner? And then even that showing of want is too embarrassing so he has to kill everyone their before he can indulge in his favorite hobby of them all, talking to Arthur).
He doesn't even need to actually become human. He's got the form down. He speaks normally enough. He can almost fit in. It isn't even really pretending because it seems like he's just out and about presenting himself like this at all times. Even when he's alone.
The Manager has it more figured out than him. There is absolutely no way he actually needs to manage his Waylay, but he gets a sense of connection from it. He's needed and it's a choice. He figures out the menu and he chooses the entertainment because it's connection.
Kayne goes immediately to organ connection universe which is just so much less practical. He wants a purpose and he wants some kind of limitations. Not hard ones, but ones he's choosing not to step over.
He could be happy if he played at humanity.
Then again the looming stretch of eternity is getting to him, so as much as he doesn't want to die, it seems best to give a deadline to his life. So maybe he should become human. Take in the sights, learn to enjoy the smaller things, be swept up in a wave of events he's not personally responsible for.
Hell, he could easily get Arthur to like him if he was. Arthur has a thing for malevolent entities learning humanity. They could talk.
Also yes. He should very much be overwhelmed by every emotion. The wind is blowing past him and it's so strange to feel it so strongly as just him. His form isn't the guise of something grander, it's just him. There isn't a choice to let it effect him, it just is. There's fear and helpless and grief and a sense of complete and utter joy. He isn't free. He could never be free, but he's bound by other things.
I think he could learn to like the mundanity of upkeep for a human body. It'd be grounding. Something to do instead of always having to look for the next thing ahead that can entertain him.
Also, he could wear a sweater. Because it's getting colder and he has to change out of a bloody suit eventually. He needs other clothes.
