You, a normal person: Can’t believe we’re selling staff officer commissions now. They made this Palantir fuck a Lieutenant Colonel in the U.S. Army?
Me, not normal: I KNOW. Like Richard Fucking Sharpe didn’t labor through the entire Peninsula Campaign, save the regiment from dissolution, and smash a hundred deserving heads with the butt of his Baker Rifle in order to retire a Lieutenant Colonel after Waterloo. No respect!
You: I don’t think…Sharpe is…real?
Me: Oh no, he isn’t; and also this is America, so it’s a slap in the face of our anti-aristocratic traditions and such. Yes.










