Haley cass is another queer author that’s on my must-read list.
I first became aware of her when reading “those who wait” (and realising I’d read it years before as a sansa/margaery fic) a fantastic book dealing with queerness, politics, and romantic friendship.
Then I read “when you least expect it” which like “imagine me and you” is about finding love at the worst possible time. Which in this case, is with your divorce lawyer, who you only hired cause she was your husband’s rival.
So there’s a lot of ‘oh no we’re working together’ and blurring the lines and the worry of being predatory and hitting on a straight woman, and some homophobia from the husband’s side, as well as domestic abuse.
but it is a romance. All ends well.
This year I read “better than expected” which is, as philip pullman put it, “an equel”, it takes place before,during,and after the previous book, this time from the other lead’s pov.
They’re great books, and it led me to a whole reread it’s that good.
In fact, she’s got a new one out I can’t wait to get to, I’m just trying to finish a few of my current ones.
The movement of the warriors caused by the capture of an unusual prisoner caught the attention of the leader of the Ashe People and, without delay, she went to the place where the prisoner was being kept. The surprise between the two was mutual, however, Varang tried to leave it behind, assuming her chief posture and taking charge of the situation.
The boy was clearly startled by her detached gaze, however, he quickly adopted a rebellious and impulsive posture, willing even to expose his teeth in a snarl. Seeing that the leader was clearly pregnant shouldn't have impressed him that much, as it wasn't the first time he'd seen something like this.
For a brief moment, Varang's memories took her back to the images she had seen of the boy through Miles's mind. Knowing exactly who he was, she decided how to deal with him.
-Let him go, I'll deal with him - she ordered and her soldiers obeyed her.
Even confused and scared, Spider followed her, not letting his guard down.
Along the way, a series of things crossed her mind, whether it would be better to tell Miles that the boy was there, or tell Spider himself that she already knew him, in a way, and that she was his stepmother.
However, Varang didn't have much choice when Miles was already in their hut.
-I hope that… - he was saying when he realized who was accompanying her - it can't be…
-Quaritch! - Spider exclaimed, in a mixture of anger, fear and defensiveness, it quickly crossed his mind that it would be stupid to face him, confront him or try to run away.
-How did you get here? What happened? - Miles approached him, clearly worried.
-Do you care about that? - the boy opted for the defensive attitude, even crossing his arms, completely mad and impatient.
-It's not a good choice to play this game - his father advised, gladly - it's okay, I can give you some time, sit down and calm down.
-Can I do that here? Am I not your prisoner? - he snapped.
-Let's say you're in our custody - Varang decided to intervene, thinking it was a good time for it - I'm Varang, leader of the ash clan.
-With all due respect ma'am, are you protecting me because of him? - Spider replied, his tone much more cautious this time.
-In part yes, but in another part, because I know you, Miles Socorro - Varang addressed him, risking a few steps closer - or should I say, Spider.
-Did he tell you about me? - curiosity ended up instigating the boy.
-Ah yes, but only after we shared our mental visions - she clarified - that's where I first saw you, in your father's memories.
-Why would they share their memories? - Upon hearing that, he made a typical teenage face of disgust.
-You have many questions, boy, but I have many others, as it is in our house, I would like you to answer - Miles imposed, standing in front of Spider in an intimidating way.
-Calm down, my beloved, treat the boy with more patience - Varang touched his shoulder, making him step back a little.
From the affectionate way she called Quaritch, Spider really gave up on all questions.
-What were you doing when you were captured by my warriors? - Varang questioned him again, in a much kinder and smoother tone.
"I was on patrol with the Metakayina, I got lost from the rest of the group, trying to find another route," he muttered, against his will.
-Okay, that's enough answers for me - she was satisfied with his statement - I can find my own ways to find out more, if I need to, and speaking of needing, I believe you need some time, Spider. Feel free to be my guest, not my prisoner.
With a suspicious smile, Varang left them alone and, despite Miles' frustration, he realized right away what she wanted. A frank and necessary conversation between the two. Being honest with himself, Miles knew this was what he needed too. So he took a deep breath and decided to move on.
-How did you get that? -Spider dared to ask, before his father could formulate any sentence.
-What are you referring to? Me surviving without you or marrying the chief of the tribe? - Miles countered, a little less bitter.
-Both - the boy replied.
-Varang - his father said simply - the warriors found me and took me to her, she had a vague idea of what I was, thought I would be a good ally in this conflict between the na'vi, so she secured the alliance with a proposal wedding.
-And you took advantage of the situation - Spider laughed sarcastically.
-I accepted it to save my life, in the beginning, but believe it or not, I fell in love with her, I really love her - declared the oldest, undoing his emotional ties little by little, getting to sit on the floor and stay more than Spider's height.
There was something different and sincere in Miles' statement, which for a single instant, almost moved the boy.
"And so you've been living like a native ever since," he found out - the life you so despised.
-I know, I'm guilty of all this, but I think I've been punished enough - Miles raised his hands in surrender - I died twice, and lost a son.
-I'm here, aren't I? - Spider extended his arms, in a position of clear attack.
-No, I'm not talking about you - he shook his head, feeling a little confused - I mean, I lost you somehow, I wasted the time we had together, I threw it all away for a cause that today I consider lost and meaningless to me, but it wasn't you I remembered when I said that.
-So what are you talking about? - the boy became more attentive, sensitive to what was to come.
-Varang lost a child before, it was my child too, your… sibling who couldn't be born - his father explained - I believe that was enough punishment from Eywa, because I deserved it.
-It means that… the child that Varang is expecting is yours - Spider confirmed.
-That's right, it's your sibliing - Miles nodded.
"I'm so sorry for your loss," he said, understanding the grief.
-Thank you, but I thank you even more for listening - his father replied - you know, I… I told Varang once that if I had another opportunity to be a good father to you I would be, I wouldn't waste it, but I know this one choice is yours. If you want to stay here, you can have a home, you can have a family…although I know you have a family with the Sullys.
-Things weren't always so easy with the Sullys, mostly because of you - the boy commented, showing a little more of his hurt.
-I understand, the me of the past and the me of this body did a lot of harm to many people, but believe me, I have changed and I am willing to fix things with you, really - Miles declared, with regret.
Once again, Spider found himself moved by the former colonel's plight. The only remnant of his former self he could recognize now was the look of tenderness when he called him son, when Spider decided to abandon him. The way Varang had treated him and the whole story, as absurd as it seemed, given the evidence before his eyes, it all seemed to fit together and make some sense in Spider's mind.
-I'll have to think about your case - decided the boy, with a lot to consider.
-It's better than a definitive no, or a middle finger - Miles opined.
The comment elicited a spontaneous laugh from Spider, which seemed like a sign of hope for his father.
So I finished these a lot faster than I expected to. (Even thought the sheep was the only one I didn’t have figured out.) I like them a lot, honestly, but I know they could still use some refinement. I’m excited to see how the final evolutions turn out! :)
