#bi tomcat

[watchingbisexual]

still upsets me that Tomcat isn't the bi equivalent of butch, i'd prefer that over deer terms like stag

idk why

[disasterbisexual-moved]

Stag, Doe, and Tomcat Bisexual Flags! 💗💜💙

Stag Bi Flag

Green: being in tune with nature, appreciating the natural world 

Teal: determination to follow your own path, individuality

Azure Blue: depth of character; a rich inner life ruled by a sense of satisfaction derived from exploring one’s identity to the furthest extent possible 

Tomcat Bi Flag

Purple: duality, complex expression of one’s identity in terms that don’t conform to the female gender 

Pink: the refusal to hate or promote aversion of femininity, centering it while simultaneously allowing it to take up less space in one’s life

Navy Blue: the code of chivalry that encourages tomcats to protect, look after, and devote their lives to ensuring the happiness and safety of other bi women and nb fems

Doe Bi Flag

Red: fiercely unapologetic love and solidarity for all bi, pan, and ply women and nb fems (regardless of if they are butch, femme, doe, stag, tomcat, etc)

Peach: security in and acceptance of the presence of femininity in one’s identity

Magenta: innocence; curiosity about the world without ignorance, but with the belief that kindness is the fundamental building block of all things good. 

You can find more of the flags I designed here! 

LGBTQ+ Questioning Flag

Masterlist (Not Updated) - moon lesbian, sun lesbian, nonbinary lesbian, sun gay, moon gay, moon bisexual, sun bisexual, femme bisexual, butch bisexual 

Butch + Femme Pansexual Flags

He/Him Lesbian Flag

Tiger’s Eye Bisexual Flag

Pastel Butch + Femme Bisexual Flags

Violet/Pansy Lesbian Flag

Dawn Gay Flag

****Creator’s note:

personally, I am not comfortable with using or reclaiming these terms from bisexual TERFs, due to the fact that slaves were often referred to as “stag” or “doe” to differentiate male from female. But seeing as several people have elected to “”repurpose”” the pansexual and polysexual flags as the stag and doe bi flags because “those are MOGAI hell bullshit identities and only bisexuality is valid”, I decided to take matters into my own hands. 

If these flags are going to exist, become used by the majority of people who identify as stag, doe, and/or tomcat, and are made by someone with an understanding of the historical weight these terms carry, panphobic and plyphobic bisexuals have no excuse to use the pan and ply flags.

hopefully this will cut off an ugly branch of bi/pan/ply discourse before it can grow any more. 

[doetomcatstag]

tomcat bingo to complete the set!

[b-bisexual]

Out of all the issues I have concering stag/tomcat/doe, this is what I will say. Especially in regards to the recent motion to make them “for all bi people”.

Loving women as a woman is inherently antithetical to (western) womanhood, where womanhood revolves around and is taught as inherently dependent on men. Straight womanhood is the performance of all aspects of your life to be palatable to men, and all your actions regarding womanhood (eg. relationship dynamics, gender roles, presentation (in terms of how you dress, how you talk, how you move), and your own perceived self-worth in relation to the “ideal desireable” womanhood that you should display) are taught as though it must be for the sake of men, and must be approved by men for you to be a “real woman”.

In this sense, loving women as a woman, breaks this taught connection that “good womanhood” = “mens approval”, and can complicate the relationship with womanhood because suddenly all these dynamics that have been taught as an inherent part of womanhood just aren’t there, especially in the case of lesbians and bi women who are fully divorced from men.

I don’t like putting too much stock in an inherent divide between the experiences of all lesbians and all bi women, because that’s not how it works. But, I do think that some bi women, especially bi women who spend a lot of time around straight men but also men in general, can have a different kind of conflict in relation to womanhood that lesbians may not experience, because of our desire for authentic reciprocation from men. However, our love for women still confounds the “ideal desirable” version of womanhood that men look for, so we’re left struggling between the thought that has been drilled into us forever that “a good woman = men approving” and our desire to love women (which is a struggle that lesbians also face, however some bi women may authentically want that reciprocated approval from men which just creates a different nuance on the issue).

The problem is that men (and nbs with no connection to womanhood) will never experience this particular issue because manhood and what it means (in a western context) to be a “good man” in society doesn’t revolve around the approval and sole dedication to women, in the sense that your worth as a human and a man isn’t stripped from you if a woman disapproves of you (No, in that case she’s a bitch, or a whore, or a slut, and the man isn’t at fault, as far as society is concerned), which is why it doesn’t work to take terms that were made in the context of a bi women’s relation to womanhood and declare that anyone regardless of gender can use them, even people who don’t have a connection to womanhood.

And it’s extremely hypocritical and horrible to me, to make a big deal out of “connecting the community” and “making terms for all bi people regardless of gender” yet not acknowledging and caring, that stag/tomcat/doe IS inherently exclusionary of bi women of color. They have been saying this. It’s not a rumored thing that’s been mentioned in passing. It’s an explicit thing that a lot of anti black racism and anti black propaganda revolve around comparing poc (especially woc) to animals. It’s not cute, it’s disrespectful to the women who built this community and it’s so incredibly flippant and imo inexcusable to say “well they don’t have to identify with them!” I thought the point was to make bi terms accessible to all bi people?

Seriously, regardless of your opinion on the usage of butch and femme (which the need for an alternative for bi women is where these terms came from in the first place), there are better alternatives. Damme and Tomme are ones that come to mind but there are many proposed alternatives. There are experiences and a need for a name to those experiences, that only bi women face. A fundamental misunderstanding of what the terms mean and why they were created, doesn’t mean that they suddenly apply to everyone. I do think that bi men and nbs who aren’t connected to womanhood deserve their own terms, but taking the culture that bi women (and applicable nbs) have made for themselves in an attempt to name their very unique experiences with womanhood (especially when, at the current moment, the most popular terms are inaccessible to bi woc) isn’t the way to go.

[2livenlove]

I'm trying to follow as many bi blogs as I can. Please like/rb so I can follow!

[dammetomme]

Damme Emojis  💜 

❤   View Tomme Emojis           //           ❤   View Definitions

[ahhnutbunnies]

Rosa Diaz from Brooklyn 99 is a tomcat!

[crow-enby-blog]

So I made a thing??