Bisexuality
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|Pansexuality|Bisexuality|Aromantic|Asexuality|Homosexuality|
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@b-bisexual
Bisexuality
second pride month piece !
|Pansexuality|Bisexuality|Aromantic|Asexuality|Homosexuality|
I hope he/him bi women and she/her bi men are having a good day today I know there isn't a lot of positivity for y'all but I think you're all so very stunning and doing an amazing job
At Pride Cymru (Wales), Aug 2019 (source)
Fact: A lot of people are confused about what bisexuality is or what it means to be bi. To clarify: โbiโ is short for the word โbikeโ which in itself is actually short for โbichaelโ. We hope this clears things up.
Out of all the issues I have concering stag/tomcat/doe, this is what I will say. Especially in regards to the recent motion to make them โfor all bi peopleโ.
Loving women as a woman is inherently antithetical to (western) womanhood, where womanhood revolves around and is taught as inherently dependent on men. Straight womanhood is the performance of all aspects of your life to be palatable to men, and all your actions regarding womanhood (eg. relationship dynamics, gender roles, presentation (in terms of how you dress, how you talk, how you move), and your own perceived self-worth in relation to the โideal desireableโ womanhood that you should display) are taught as though it must be for the sake of men, and must be approved by men for you to be a โreal womanโ.
In this sense, loving women as a woman, breaks this taught connection that โgood womanhoodโ = โmens approvalโ, and can complicate the relationship with womanhood because suddenly all these dynamics that have been taught as an inherent part of womanhood just arenโt there, especially in the case of lesbians and bi women who are fully divorced from men.
I donโt like putting too much stock in an inherent divide between the experiences of all lesbians and all bi women, because thatโs not how it works. But, I do think that some bi women, especially bi women who spend a lot of time around straight men but also men in general, can have a different kind of conflict in relation to womanhood that lesbians may not experience, because of our desire for authentic reciprocation from men. However, our love for women still confounds the โideal desirableโ version of womanhood that men look for, so weโre left struggling between the thought that has been drilled into us forever that โa good woman = men approvingโ and our desire to love women (which is a struggle that lesbians also face, however some bi women may authentically want that reciprocated approval from men which just creates a different nuance on the issue).
The problem is that men (and nbs with no connection to womanhood) will never experience this particular issue because manhood and what it means (in a western context) to be a โgood manโ in society doesnโt revolve around the approval and sole dedication to women, in the sense that your worth as a human and a man isnโt stripped from you if a woman disapproves of you (No, in that case sheโs a bitch, or a whore, or a slut, and the man isnโt at fault, as far as society is concerned), which is why it doesnโt work to take terms that were made in the context of a bi womenโs relation to womanhood and declare that anyone regardless of gender can use them, even people who donโt have a connection to womanhood.
And itโs extremely hypocritical and horrible to me, to make a big deal out of โconnecting the communityโ and โmaking terms for all bi people regardless of genderโ yet not acknowledging and caring, that stag/tomcat/doe IS inherently exclusionary of bi women of color. They have been saying this. Itโs not a rumored thing thatโs been mentioned in passing. Itโs an explicit thing that a lot of anti black racism and anti black propaganda revolve around comparing poc (especially woc) to animals. Itโs not cute, itโs disrespectful to the women who built this community and itโs so incredibly flippant and imo inexcusable to say โwell they donโt have to identify with them!โ I thought the point was to make bi terms accessible to all bi people?
Seriously, regardless of your opinion on the usage of butch and femme (which the need for an alternative for bi women is where these terms came from in the first place), there are better alternatives. Damme and Tomme are ones that come to mind but there are many proposed alternatives. There are experiences and a need for a name to those experiences, that only bi women face. A fundamental misunderstanding of what the terms mean and why they were created, doesnโt mean that they suddenly apply to everyone. I do think that bi men and nbs who arenโt connected to womanhood deserve their own terms, but taking the culture that bi women (and applicable nbs) have made for themselves in an attempt to name their very unique experiences with womanhood (especially when, at the current moment, the most popular terms are inaccessible to bi woc) isnโt the way to go.
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The idea that sexual orientation should be decided based on whatย โfeels rightโ is aโฆ problematic one.
โThe word bisexual makes me cringe at times, but saying Iโm heterosexual or a lesbian feels inaccurate - regardless of who I am in a relationship with. So, cringing all the while, I use the label. Because of my relationship to the term feminist, I have learned that cringing is often a sign of unfinished political business: the label bi sounds bad because, at least in some ways, bisexuals are an unliberated, invisible, and disparaged social group.โ โ Look both ways : bisexual politics, Jennifer Baumgardner, 2007
By encouraging this idea that a word canย โjust not sound rightโ orย โmakes me cringeโ, we encourage internalised biphobia, internalised homophobia, and other internalised prejudices.ย
Making new identity labels can be an elaborate system of avoiding using words based on internalised prejudices. Are people basing their sense of self on what makes them unique rather than what unifies them with a marginalised group they hold prejudices towards? Those prejudices are going unexamined.ย
Iโve found that people who avoid the word bisexual generally know nothing about it. Theyโve never read a book on bisexuality, they donโt know anything about the history, about bisexual political activists, about existing organisations or conferences, about whether in reality bisexuals date nonbinary people or not (we do). People donโt reject the word based on educated opinion, although there are people online who do their best to create false definitions to discourage people from using it, which I suppose is in their best interest if they want to avoid analysing their own prejudices.ย
Back in the day, many thousands of years ago, when I was young, we had to work through our prejudices to be comfortable with who we were. I hated the word bisexual. I didnโt want to call myself that, I didnโt like how it sounded coming out of my mouth. But in the end I realised that was purely because my culture saw bisexuals as a joke, as cheaters, as nonexistent. I worked through that. But if I was coming out now, someone online would tell me that work was unnecessary and I should just pick a word which sounds nice to me.
Absolutely not trying to derail this very good post about bisexual identity, but I can relate to this as a lesbian, as Iโm sure many other lesbians would. So many of us have gone through this โ calling ourselves qu**r because weโd internalised all those assertions that to be a lesbian is transphobic, exclusionary, regressiveโฆ when it is none of those things. The content of the assumptions about lesbians and about bisexuals is different, but their origin and function are the same.
This is why gay/bi solidarity is important, especially for lesbians and bi women. There is incredible power in us owning our identities and being proud of them and defending them against would-be detractors, and it is one of many ways I am grateful to bi women for our many shared experiences. Let us celebrate who we are instead of hiding ourselves behind euphemisms
@dirtyallodyke I donโt want to come across as mean, and I absolutely agree with what you said. But the fact of the matter is that this is derailing the conversation about biphobia and bi issues. This is a lovely sentiment, but you should make your own post. This post isnโt about lesbians or lesbian issues, even if the tones are similar.ย
bi emojiiiis
I have to make sure I share this absolutely chaotic bisexual picture of me in as many places as possible
*blows a kiss* for bi men
proud ๐๐๐
Bi guys are awesome ๐๐๐
#BWithTheT at London Pride, June 2019ย
(source)ย (bi groups in the UK & Ireland) (trans groups)
hey iโve seen a few people in the comments calling her an amazing ally, and i wanted to remind yโall that kesha is an out bisexual woman
Cute women: *exist*
My bi ass: ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐
Cute nonbinary people: *exist*
My bi ass: ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐
Cute men: *exist*
My bi ass: ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐
What is bisexuality? - A handy graphic including definitions used by major bisexual organizations, activists and popular definitions used in bisexual communities!ย
- Mod Soraya