#birthnames

[thatpollguy]

Do you know the reason why your parents/carers gave you your birth name?

Yes

I used to know but I've forgotten now

No

Voting ended onJan 15

[tookishcombeferre]

some say names are hopes,

dreams, and prayers 

bearers of those names hold,

and parents tuck their 

flower-petal wonders,

blankets, around baby shoulders. 

                                                                                                  what hopes and prayers,

dreams and wonders do protagonist’s 

parents hold for their children

answered and unanswered dreams

predestined and written in black ink,

wet, still drying on parchment

                                                                                                  for, ella, means - fairy maiden, and goddess

tell me then, did her mother plan her 

death, godmother’s charms, enchanted 

evenings, fallen slippers made of crystal, 

glass, and midnight sprints

home so ella may meet herself?

                                                                                                   for, belle is beautiful,

strings unattached kind of beautiful, 

perfection, awe-inspiring,

dazzling, but no more depth

than just beauty - so within,

must also be. 

                                                                                                  lilo loses herself in photography 

builds herself planets far from earth

stars falling finally to meet the creative

maker of the distant horizon, always lost,

but wasn’t that the hope

given her? 

                                                                                                  rapunzel named for flower,

lamb’s lettuce - craved by a dying queen

witches were too cheap to save

forced into enslavement as birth

right payment for existing 

branded from birth. 

                                                                                                merida changes directions from language 

to language - she means:

high place of honor in latin,

rebellion in hebrew, 

following her heart on the isle of man,

yet, still her mother asks why she fights? 

                                                                                                mother’s secrets burst forth, like

winter winds in elsa -

consecrated to God, paths

wind up mountains, and into Hell,

frozen solid, and reborn

from the dead like isaac. 

                                                                                                  ocean beckons to moana,

father’s fears never outweighing 

desire for new horizons 

promised in his little chief 

drawing closer to the water’s 

edge - ocean calls to moana. 

                                                                                                  name bearers do not end

in disney movies for frisk 

searches or frolics, inspects, kills,

hunts, for sport or scampers,

plays, and picks through healthy 

relationships depending on the game

                                                                                                   asriel, the prince of God, or angel

of death, depending on the tale,

parents hopes for him were clear,

prince, but how far he fell, beatings,

meetings, and greetings 

clearer still. 

                                                                                                  chara, an irish word for friend, or joy,

in greek, or dear one, beloved, in the roman

word, or a star in the hunting dogs

splaying out on night skies they longed to 

see, but no name or promise can 

stop suicide, it seems

                                                                                                  then, connor, named for a feature 

programmed in from conchobhar -

irish - lover of wolves or hounds

see, then, likes and dislikes,

love and hatred, only codes, a

promise, fulfilled by machines.

                                                                                                   marcus dedicates himself to mars,

god of bloodshed and war, but also

springtime, new life bursting forth

snowy ashes, wielding his own hammer,

nails, and tools to reshape, rebuild,

renew - father’s hopes are clear ...

                                                                                                  how does it surprise them,

then, me - named for MacLir’s granddaughter, 

seeker of eternal wisdom and men’s 

titles - poet, story-teller, and 

writer, who became life 

giver, border protector, fairy spirit 

                                                                                                  a changeling of the other world  

                                                                                                creators, how could you question

water’s wetness? 

                                                                                                    on my birthname OR water is wet (idiom)  ~ Pip E. 

[aceripple]

I am still confused by my gender (I just know I’m not cis pretty much). And I’ve only told a few people, and those people I have told have asked me “Will you change your name?” cause it’s feminine. I would probably consider myself trans masc, but I don’t feel the need to change my name. I only have a different name on here because it’s just easier for me tbh.

I remember being a little kid and telling people that ‘Kate’ is for both boys and girls and I would argue with anyone that disagreed with me. That evolved into me seeing my name as mine, not really gendered. I have people call me Kathrine and Katelyn (cause they think Kate is a nickname when it’s my birthname), which makes my dysphoria go off a bit. But being called Kate is fine.

Just a random rant tbh. I might try out different names, but I do like my given name just the way it is :]

[scriptlgbt]

I’m writing a story that involves fairies, and follows the superstition of ‘true names.’ I planned to have a scene in which a trans man promises a fairy “any name but his true name” in exchange for a service. The fairy then asks for his BIRTH name, thinking it was a clever way to get the true name, but the trans man gives the fairy his dead name. Is this insensitive or bad in any way, or is it fine? It’s not a reveal, since it was previously known that he’s trans.

Was his deadname previously known? How does the fairy use this name once learning it? Knowing a trans person’s dead/birthname still has some bad potential (abuse and manipulation-wise), especially if he is not open about it. The best move would be for the fairy to not take advantage of the name once knowing it, unless it is given attention as having pretty much the traumatic weight of a hate crime. (I mean this definitely varies in how it hits people IRL and lots of trans people are actually cavalier about their deadnames although usually they are the folks who use those names or are fine with them. But it’s not the kind of thing that should be made light of.)

I think these factors make a difference in how it is received. 

I think this could be potentially done really well. But, I also definitely think it’s one of those scenes you might need to have to have a trans sensitivity reader for. It might be insensitive, but I think it all depends on a lot of different contextual things. 

The technicalities of how this superstition works in your story specifically also might make a difference. The version of this superstition I was told was that most people never know their ‘true names’ at all and that given names are a different thing. I’m assuming in this context, it’s about the name one goes by? And if this is the case, how did this character’s name find him? I know I’ve gone by two different names prior to Nat and I think this is pretty normal for trans folks. Is it about the final name you go by, and did this character ever go by other names? Is there a way of knowing your own true name, where does the power of the name and how it comes to someone lie?

 If you want, feel free to explain more relevant context (like about how open the character is, what’s done with the name) in a submission when our ask + submissions open again, feel free and we can try and help you better! 

If you’d like to submit anonymously, you should be able to do it from an incognito tab or if you’re logged out.

- mod nat

[preserveswerve]

My mum still won't call be by my preferred name, even though she calls all my other friends (who are nonbinary/genderfluid)by their preferred names ,, her reasoning? Because 'I'm your mum'

What? Does that? mean???

So just because your my mum you have the right to still use my birthname when I have stated many times that i would rather not be called it ?? I don't?? Get it??

My mum is completely fine with calling other people by their preferred names and/or pronouns, but not for me.

Idk how to feel about that, honestly, I'm a little angry .

[thatpollguy]

Have you ever legally changed your forename?

Yes

No, but I no longer use my legal forename

No, I still use my birth name

Voting ended onJan 22

[thatpollguy]

Do you like your birth name (regardless of if you still use it or not)?

Yes, I like it and I still use it

Yes, I like it as a name but I've since changed my name

No, I don't like it but I still use it anyway

No, I don't like it as a name and I've since changed my name

I don't like it but I don't dislike it, and I've changed my name

I don't like it but I don't dislike it, but I still use it anyway

Voting ended onJan 21

[thatpollguy]

Have you ever legally changed your surname?

Yes

No, but I no longer use my legal surname unless in legal documents

No, I still use my birth surname

Voting ended onJan 23