#bitter bisexual

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Bitter Bisexual Lockscreens ❤️💜💙

Flag made by @ pmpknvalentine on Twitter!

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Basically, being bisexual is easy as long as you don’t think about it, pay attention to it, need anything, or want to find any fictional or real people who have had experiences like yours.

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I can’t find other bisexuals to rant about the situation on here, because the people who discourse a lot on biphobia generally also think the concept of pansexuality is biphobic (rolls eyes hard.) Somewhat parallel to “where the fuck are all the feminists who aren’t terfs?” Tumblr is weird.

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You can be bisexual as long as you don’t mind living separate, parallel lives that never interact. It’s like having dual citizenship in countries that refuse to acknowledge each other.

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Bisexuals don’t exist, you know. Everyone knows it.

You can find spaces where everyone will assume you’re straight unless you’re practically dressed head to toe in rainbows and you could be walking arm in arm with your girlfriend looking for furniture for your new apartment and people will ask if you’re roommates. And you can find spaces where people will assume you’re gay, not bi, gay, and the words that come out of their mouth unmistakably reflect this assumption. But good luck finding spaces that mostly have bi/pan people in it.

You can tell your queer friends that you’re bi and they’ll say things like “oh, I used to think I was bi, ha ha” like there’s nothing wrong with that. You can tell your straight mom you’re dating a guy now and she’ll ask if that means you’re gay, or that you’re dating a woman now and she’ll ask if the gay thing was just a phase.

You can find cute wedding pictures of a woman in a dashing suit marrying a woman in a gorgeous dress, but good luck finding a cute wedding picture of a woman in a dashing suit marrying a man in anything, as though gender non-conformity in women is incompatible with liking men.

You can look for safer sex advice for sleeping with men or safer sex advice for sleeping with women, but if you’re the sort of slut (positive) who sleeps with both you might get safer sex advice that talks about things like oral sex without mentioning genitals, which is fine, but if you’re concerned about how some infectious agents are more common in some populations than others or trying to reconcile different assumptions about what reasonable safer sex precautions look like in different communities good luck with that.

You can find a sweet fluffy romance about a man and a woman or a man and a man or a woman and a woman, as long as you don’t mind that the characters in the first are always straight and the characters in the second are always gay.

You can find a harrowing coming out story, as long as you don’t mind that it’s never your coming out story.

You can have a straight relationship or a gay/lesbian relationship, but you’ve never heard of a bi or pan relationship and aren’t sure what that would even mean.

You can find a list of gay and lesbian historical figures, or pick up a book about gay and lesbian history, or pick up a book about queer history that nevertheless doesn’t seem to mention bisexuality very much.

Because bisexuals don’t exist. Everyone knows this.

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It wouldn’t be an issue if the context was “lots of people have both “queer” attraction and “straight” attraction (ie attractions that aren’t acceptable to homophobes and attractions that are), and those people are queer because bisexuality/pansexuality is a thing and isn’t being Scheodinger’s queer and also isn’t being a sort of Frankenstein monster of part straight and part gay it’s just a way of being queer alongside other ways of being queer, and because having some attractions that aren’t acceptable to homophobes is in fact sufficient to cause you problems in your life and also sufficient to have a lot in common with people who only have attractions that are unacceptable to homophobes, who knew… and also, there’s some types of m/f sex that really aren’t “straight” (acceptable to homophobes) and/or are “queer”(explicitly a part of queer culture)” yes absolutely I would agree with that, the issue is I don’t think we actually have a shared understanding about the first part.

[mental-health-advice]

Some of my family is really against being gay, bi, trans, etc. but I'm bisexual. I really want to come out but I'm so scared. -bitter bisexual

Hi bitter bisexual, 

I’m sorry to hear that you’ve been struggling with thislately! I think it’s a very common problem that a lot of LGBT youth experience,which isn’t to say that it’s not terrible but rather that you’re not alone inthis.

I think it’s important to remember that coming out doesn’thave to be one single, momentous event. You don’t have to come out to yourfamily if you feel like they wouldn’t understand, or if it would put you indanger, but you can still come out to people you feel would understand, andthat would help you feel less like you have to hide who you are all the time.

How do your friends at school act towards the LGBTcommunity? Do they make jokes and insensitive comments, or do they take stepsto support them? If they do make jokes, are there people around who stand up tothem when they do? If that’s the case, then maybe you could consider gettingcloser to those people and eventually coming out to them, even if they’re notyour friends right now.

Also, is there an LGBT support/activism group or somethingsimilar nearby? I realize you might have to be careful about joining one ifyour family is really against it, but the benefit of doing this (especially ifit’s a group at school) is that a lot of these groups are presented as beingfor allies, too, which means that you can join them without having to come outpublicly. But once you’re in the group itself, you can come out just while you’rethere and be confident that you’re around people who will support you. Idefinitely know a few people who have only been out in the confines of suchgroups until they felt ready to come out publicly. But it seems to me that youwould find some relief in just having people know who you are, even if it’s notyour family (yet).

I hope all of this helps you. Best of luck!

Sarah

[bkehaunani]

I actually really hate the message of this song.